I see a classic in the making.
IA | 09.30.05 - 12:54 am | #

You all realise, of course, that this publication will be used against me if I am ever nominated to SCOTUS.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 09.30.05 - 7:25 am | #

Well worth the scorn, I'd say, rng. Who wants to be on the Court, when you can be a poet instead?
colleen | 09.30.05 - 7:53 am | #

Said the critics, "I see greivous flaw
In the metered rulings I saw.
Judge Going is mad
And his clients were had,
This gimcracky rhyming ain't law."

Replied Going - "I mean no offense
To the plaintiff or to the defense.
Despite what's alleged,
We're the cutting edge
Of limericked jurisprudence."
Nightfly | Homepage | 09.30.05 - 1:24 pm | #

Now Nightfly, your talent, it shows.
You're better than most, heaven knows.
But this meter is frantic-
Better stick with iambic,
And leave limericks to the pros.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 09.30.05 - 1:35 pm | #

I bow to your wisdom, of course,
And your limerick tours-de-force.
My listeners twinge
And professionals cringe
Since all of my meter is forced
Nightfly | Homepage | 09.30.05 - 1:55 pm | #

It was simply a matter of time,
before all of us would be to rhyme,
forced by despair,
grim-visaged with care
and for not even one crummy dime.

*************************************

I can't believe y'all drove me to it!!
colleen | 09.30.05 - 2:55 pm | #

Dawn's turn.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 09.30.05 - 3:19 pm | #

No way. The best poem I wrote was also the last--an acrostic I penned at age 4:

Does
A
Wife
Nibble?
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 09.30.05 - 4:57 pm | #

The limerick I shall leave alone;
like the pun, it solicits a moan.
That having been said,
I offer instead
A line that is not fully groan.
C.J. | 09.30.05 - 10:37 pm | #

OK, Dawn, I can go back in time for some youthful verse.

"How now, brown cow, that thou shalt plow
The fields of wheat and hay?
How now, brown cow, that thou shalt plow
While night turns into day?
How now, brown cow, that thou shalt plow
(We never should have let her!)
How now, brown cow, that thou shalt plow
When a tractor does it better?"

Wrote that 20 years ago. Hasn't aged well.
Nightfly | Homepage | 10.01.05 - 3:56 am | #

JMJ

In a little village on the coast of Maine,
There lived a dog who went insane.
And itis very bad
For a dog to go mad.

So one day his owner
Took him to a shop
And gave him a drink
Of soda pop.

That cooled him off,
And that is not bad.
But the worst thing to do
Was to get himself mad.

-Robert Going, 4B (Spring, 1961)
[Rejected by Highlights magazine, beginning a life-long pattern.]
Robert N. G. | Homepage | 10.01.05 - 7:10 am | #

Dawn Eden, the Mistress of Prose
And "The Punmeister" everyone knows,
Weighs in (let's not quibble)
Not a verse can she dribble
Except nibbling wives. (Hubby's toes?)
Robert N. G. | Homepage | 10.01.05 - 7:50 am | #

I am speechless before such witty poesy.

Robert, my favorite part of your 1961 poem is that you wrote "JMJ" at the top. That alone dates it as pre-Vatican II, if I'm not mistaken.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 10.01.05 - 9:45 am | #

Dear Judge,

I Wish you had sat on the bench
When I was divorced by the wench.
Never mind. Shrewd old Leah
now sings "Sole Mio",
While God came and made me a mensch.
Ron S. | 10.01.05 - 10:17 am | #

It really is catchy, isn't it? Dawn, did I send you my pre-Vatican II piece?
It's here.
Robert N. G. | Homepage | 10.01.05 - 10:45 am | #

Ron, Yiddish adds a whole new and rich dimension to the Christian experience, doesn't it?
Robert N. G. | Homepage | 10.01.05 - 10:51 am | #

i'd do better in a brewery
than listenin to foolery,
for then i'd know
the source of the crow
was liquid and not just shrewery.

y'all are nuts, i say!
uncle jim | 10.02.05 - 9:44 pm | #

A poet I'm not
But I laughed a lot
When I read Judge Bob
Telling about this lawyer's job!
Next to Last Samurai | Homepage | 10.03.05 - 7:31 pm | #