Are they kidding? That's NUMBER ONE for ANY year. And it has a special meaning for me, because it was the story of the genesis of that headline that caused me to check out the Dawn Patrol and become permanently hooked.

(BTW, you weren't trying to intimate that Jesus was born "King of the Jaws," were you?)
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 8:33 am | #

If a fisherman fell into the tank, you could change it to "Shark: The Harried Angler Swims."
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 9:14 am | #

The WAY, the LIFE and the the TOOTH.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 10:00 am | #

Thanks for starting my day with a laugh, y'all.

My other headline idea, which I rejected, was, "O Holy Bite."
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 12:56 pm | #

LOL! Those are great! :-D
Rachael | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 1:45 pm | #

 Oh the shark has pretty teeth, dear
And he shows them pearly white
Baby Jesus, take a gander
That big fish is out of sight!

O, three kings come with their gifts, dear,
Frankincense, myrrh, and sparkling gold,
But fancy gloves made from this sharkskin
Will better keep you from the cold.

By the manger, Christmas evening
Good St. Joseph comes to life
Sneaking up, Babe, on that shark fish
Carving shark steaks with his knife.

Oh, them shepherds, they’re all scaredy,
Even angels give them fright,
But your mom’s the blessed lady.
Bet that shark has a hole-y night.

O that Herod, and the devil
Best watch out ‘cause, they’re going down.
We ain’t frightened of no fish, dear,
Our Messiah’s back in town!
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 2:27 pm | #

OMIGOSH! This is why I miss you so much, Dawn. Come back, please come back! Where else can I get puns, poetry (the great Judge never fails) and food for thought? I can't stand it any longer!

There. I feel better now.
Colleen | 12.28.05 - 2:59 pm | #

Thanks so much, Colleen!

Robert [rollingonfloorlaughingoutloud], I take my hat off to you.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 3:41 pm | #

This hat?
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 4:49 pm | #

This hat?
http://news.yahoo.com/news? tmpl=...r3446730273.jpg
John J. Simmins | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 6:35 pm | #

This hat?
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 7:01 pm | #

The shark pic needs a soundtrack. The MixMeister would suggest a blend of a contemporary carol and a movie theme:

"Shall I play for you, pa-rum-pa-pum-pum ... pum-PUM-pum-PUM-pum-PUM-pum-PUM pum-pa-PUMMMMMM!"

Gosh, I hope I get this out of my system before I have to direct "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing" -- Saturday evening. In church. At Mass.

Priez pour nous pauvres pécheurs, s'il vous plait. Sometimes I think I wear too many hats.
C.J. | 12.28.05 - 7:09 pm | #

C.J., LOL!
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 7:26 pm | #

Is that you as Carmen Miranda, RA?
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 8:33 pm | #

Quoth the prophet Jerry Seinfeld: "The best revenge is living well."
D------ | 12.28.05 - 10:39 pm | #

Is that you as Carmen Miranda, RA?

No, that would look more like this.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 11:25 pm | #

Raving Atheist, please don't direct my readers to photos of fruit.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.28.05 - 11:42 pm | #

Dawn,

I think we can both agree that your request is fruitless.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 12:39 pm | #

Sorry, RA. I've often fallen victim to grape expectations.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 1:03 pm | #

Is that why you worship the King of the Juice?
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 1:29 pm | #

Orange you two so clever.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 1:36 pm | #

RA, I believe the soul lives on after the body's berried.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 1:43 pm | #

Robert,

Why would a clever mango to this site?

Dawn,

I'm getting plum tired trying to top you.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 1:50 pm | #

RA, to err is human, to forgive, sub-lime.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 1:57 pm | #

On the other hand, I'm glad to hear your spirit will be raisin from the dead.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 1:58 pm | #

Kumquat.
Just kumquat.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 2:08 pm | #

Dawn, RA, if either of you should go before me, before you get around to raisin your berried selves, I promise to visit your grave and reach out with my hand and touch your headstone.

Thus achieving my lifelong ambition to palm-a-granite.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 2:13 pm | #

I'm giving all three of you a raspberry, because you are driving me bananas.

:P
Kate B. | 12.29.05 - 2:27 pm | #

Kate,

I'm not a bad apple . . . Dawn and Robert are the pear responsible for spiking the fruit puns.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 2:35 pm | #

Somebody read this guy his Carmen Miranda rights.
Kate B. | 12.29.05 - 2:44 pm | #

If convicted, do those include the right to a peel?
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:12 pm | #

Yes. All the way to the Supreme Core.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:18 pm | #

Dawn Patrollers may be saucy, but at least we're not tarts. Our hearts are pure-eh?
Rachel Rose | 12.29.05 - 3:23 pm | #

Woops, Avocado tell you, even moms can still be tomatoes.
Rachel Rose | 12.29.05 - 3:25 pm | #

Thanks, Mom, you're a peach.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:25 pm | #

whoooah there RR, you start transitioning into fruits passing as vegetables and we'll be here for a month. Once RA gets into his Idaho jokes, we're done for.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:30 pm | #

No, I will exercise my right to romaine silent.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:33 pm | #

RA, are you a freelance atheist, or do they have you on celery?
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:35 pm | #

Lettuce quit before it's too late.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:37 pm | #

Peas?
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:38 pm | #

I don't carrots too late to stop.
Rachel Rose | 12.29.05 - 3:41 pm | #

I make onion wages.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:52 pm | #

I mean it. We have to squash this now!
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:52 pm | #

No, Robert . . . in fact, I'm going to turnip the heat.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:57 pm | #

Besides, what do you metropolitan types know about vegetables anyway? I had an aunt from Brooklyn who moved to the country and failed miserably at gardening. She tried to root-a-bagel.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:58 pm | #

Never a dill moment with you guys.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:58 pm | #

And if you can't take it, stay out of the kitchen and admit you're beet.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 3:59 pm | #

See? You wouldn't quit and now you've got Dawn in a pickle.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 4:01 pm | #

Robert, someone artichoke you for that root-a-bagel quip.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 4:03 pm | #

Well, I guess that gets us to the heart of the matter.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 4:05 pm | #

Btw, my aunt from Brooklyn had two boyfriends. They were both named Gus. I asked her why she had two boyfriends named Gus and she said,
"Well, in case one of them runs out on me I still have a spare Gus." (That's a hot tip for ya.)
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 4:09 pm | #

Ouch. Too many puns at once. Please, proceed more gingerly.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 4:10 pm | #

OK. I'll take my thyme.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 4:11 pm | #

I'll be more sage.
The Raving Atheist | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 4:14 pm | #

I'm cumin to this discussion late! That's what I get for cleaning up the garden this afternoon.
Colleen | 12.29.05 - 6:17 pm | #

Robert- Your grandma's problem was that you can never root-a-bagel next to an eggplant. The eggs will poach the bagels' sunlight, so the bagels don't grow, except on Yom Kippur at the break-fast.
Rachel Rose | 12.29.05 - 6:23 pm | #

Robert- Sorry. I got your aunt mixed up with your grandma, who was also beezy.
Rachel Rose | 12.29.05 - 6:25 pm | #

I wander away for a couple of hours and you guys can't keep this going without me? With Rachel Rose leaving the egg jokes WIDE OPEN?

That's it. I've had an oeuf.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 8:46 pm | #

Maybe everyone's brains are just scrambled. Wait until tomorrow-- Fried-y.
Rachel Rose | 12.29.05 - 8:53 pm | #

Omelette youse guys work this out yourselves.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 9:01 pm | #

Till Fried-y, then; keep the home fries burning! (That's the third time I've used that line at the Dawn Patrol. I hope that doesn't violate some obscure subsection of the Harris protocols, 'cause otherwise, I'm toast.)
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.29.05 - 9:05 pm | #

I believe it would violate the Harris Protocols, for instance, if one were to tell one's cohorts to quiche off.

But thus far, no one's mustard the courage to curry such disfavor. I raise the point gingerly...
C.J. | 12.29.05 - 9:30 pm | #

"Oh man, you'll rue the day you kept this thread going without me", she says as she capers off.
Colleen | 12.30.05 - 1:17 am | #

Did she say we'd roux the day?
Gretchen | 12.30.05 - 8:17 am | #

This thread is a little nutty for me.

I think I'll go back to watching "Columbo" on DVD.
D------ | 12.30.05 - 11:44 am | #

You do realize, of course, that the vegetable kingdom was represented at Bethlehem, along with the ox and the donkey and the sheep, etc?

Oh come, lettuce, adore him
Oh come, lettuce, adore him
Oh come, lettuce, adore him ...
PMcGrath | 12.31.05 - 2:26 am | #

Ah, yes, Jesus' salad days.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 12.31.05 - 2:36 am | #

This is getting radicchiolus.
Robert N G | Homepage | 12.31.05 - 7:14 am | #

Yes, although I thought the fruits were cute, I find the vegetables cute-cumbersome.
Gretchen | 12.31.05 - 10:30 am | #

This is hilarious. I can't wait to comment endive into the fray.
Prussian Tiger | Homepage | 12.31.05 - 7:03 pm | #

If I egg you on, would you roll this discussion into a breakfast mode? It could lead to a whole new cereal of postings -- unless, of course, you waffle on me. And you thought at this point, this thread was toast! Hah! Not scrambled, am I -- but eternally sunny side up! (And no, I have not been hitting the juice.)
C.J. | 01.01.06 - 9:08 am | #

CJ- Hush-puppy, I'm bacon you to stop, and I hope Dawn has the true grits to tell you.
Skeptical But Normal | 01.01.06 - 11:02 am | #

Hominy of you think this thread will ever stop?
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 01.01.06 - 11:38 am | #

Robert, this thread wouldn't be sew bad if you didn't needle us.


But that doesn't excuse all of you from being over-easy with the puns.
Prussian Tiger | Homepage | 01.01.06 - 2:24 pm | #

Oh, you teas!
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 01.01.06 - 3:39 pm | #

I'd pray for this to end, but I think only Pope Benedict can help us now.
Prussian Tiger | Homepage | 01.01.06 - 9:54 pm | #

Prussian Tiger, ouch! Don't worry, it's almost ova.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 01.01.06 - 11:38 pm | #

Well, I guess that goes to show there's no place like Rome for the hollondaise.
Robert N G | Homepage | 01.02.06 - 1:15 am | #

Julia Child, is this?
Chad | Homepage | 01.02.06 - 9:11 am | #

What Child is this
Who on PBS
Her radial artery's bleeding?
Her fresh pate is all splattered now,
Along with her French Cuisine reading.
This, this is the kitchen queen,
The best the fundraisers've ever seen.
Haste, haste to stop the flow!
(Why's Graham Kerr in the wings slowly smiling?)
Robert N G | Homepage | 01.02.06 - 12:40 pm | #

Lemon get this straight. You guys have egg-aggerated the art of punning to the point of grating on my nerves.

I shallot go on. I yam simply not as gouda as you are at this game. I have bean trying, but it's no use. Every time I come up with something I see that you have beet me to it. Curdn't you cut me some slack? I mean, why can't you just cauliflower a flower? Why all the puns?

This is a halibut way to spend your time, but I'm not taking the bait.

What do you say chum? Shall we try a new angle?
Anonymous | 01.07.09 - 1:33 pm | #

Oh, I forgot to sign in and now I am anonymous.

Everybody! Stop this rhyming. I MEAN IT!
mk | Homepage | 01.07.09 - 1:36 pm | #