The real question from this survey is why are so many so tolerant of irresponsible behavior by men?
Richard J. Stuart | Homepage | 03.31.06 - 2:09 pm | #

That's the answer that would clear up alot of things!!!
Kate B. | 03.31.06 - 2:24 pm | #

What?? You mean there's a double-standard between men and women?? You're KIDDING!? =P
Shelley Pederson | 03.31.06 - 3:39 pm | #

The myth that it's ok for men to sleep around is perpetuated by people who want women to sleep around. Men do not naturally think it is good to sleep around, but they are tricked into thinking other men think it is ok to sleep around. Women also do not naturally think it is good to sleep around. And other women are trying to trick them into thinking it's ok because they think it's the only way they'll "achieve" equality with men.

What they don't realize is that the genius of woman is that she is already man's complement, and she equal in dignity.

What's most surprising to this researcher is that she's assumed that because she was easily fooled, all other women must be as able to lie to themselves as she is. But that isn't sexual freedom. That's just an advanced ability to fool ourselves. Is that what equality with men means? An advanced ability to fool ourselves?
Dennis | Homepage | 03.31.06 - 3:46 pm | #

In my comment above, after re-reading it, I should emphasize that men are much more easily tricked into thinking that everyone else thinks it's ok, so it must be ok. Part of the masculine genius, I think, is a kind of competitiveness, present as well in women, but more evident in men as a whole. If other guys are doing it (even if it only appears that way), then I should do it too or I'll be the loser. That's how adolescent boys think, and that's how some women want other women to learn to think.
Dennis | Homepage | 03.31.06 - 3:49 pm | #

Women will never sleep around as much as much, or be encouraged to by people that have any sense.

I know that there are some that want to deny that women and men are facing different realities due to their biologies, but those folks are deluding themselves.
SBW | Homepage | 03.31.06 - 3:57 pm | #

I know very few men who admire men who sleep around. They are generally viewed as unstable, immature, and terribly sad.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 03.31.06 - 4:48 pm | #

What gets me is that people are shocked! shocked, I tell you! that the majority of women ... well, simply aren't the sluts the Playboy-types wish they were.
Christina | Homepage | 03.31.06 - 5:48 pm | #

We don't need more sexual "freedom"! It actually seems here that we have much more than enough, and we would prefer to have LESS.
mia | 03.31.06 - 5:51 pm | #

My experience is that some men seem to think it is an index of their manhood "I get a lot of sex," they say smugly. As if they are winning some huge Darwin Award.

However, as women become more loose in who they will sleep with the value is beginning to degrade. I've heard the term "slut" more and more often in reference to men.


That aside, at least in the recent past, in women, what kind of a trophy is it to say you get a man to sleep with you, when everyone knows just about anyone would, provided they do not have to stay the night and "hold you".

The world has been shifting slowly back toward a more sexually conservative attitude, even if television and movies continue to portray its opposite.
Jennifer | Homepage | 03.31.06 - 7:22 pm | #

Despite all the brainwashing that goes on men and women are different. That much is obvious especially when you realize that shows like Sex and the City are written by a 'gay' man with the homosexual attitude toward sex. Because normal women do not act that way. Which I thank God for since I have been married to a wonderful normal woman for the past quarter century who I definitely would not of married or raised children with had she been into one night stands.
Al of Alnot | Homepage | 03.31.06 - 9:47 pm | #

Sex and the City, the tv show, is based on a series of stories about causal sex in New York. The book is written by a woman, not a gay man. While many "normal" women do not sleep around, there are plenty of women who did buy the lie and who do and or did sleep around quite a lot. I used to be one of them. I know many very promiscuous single women. Of course, not a single one of them is happy, though few of them recognize how much their promiscuity is contributing to this discontent.

Men may not admire men who are obvious lotharios engaging in very frequent one night stands because they recognize those men for the predators that they are, but at the same time I think most men do think it is quite alright for men to have casual sex on an irregular basis, and that if they are single and not having sex at least occasionally, there is something wrong with them.
Jenn | Homepage | 04.01.06 - 12:34 am | #

The interesting thing about Sex and the City is that they ultimately all end up finding happiness in some form of monogamy--S in the C is comedy of manners for the contemporary era--and why does the comedy of manners still work? Because women, still, want to get married. It wouldn't be funny (or poignant) if S in the C didn't ultimately portray that underneath it all women are still as desirous for a match as Elizabeth, Jane, Kitty, and Lydia.

It also, consciously or not, shows what happens to the P & P story when the patriarchy dissolves. Mr. Darcy is reduced to a selfish, narcissistic millionaire who drinks expensive wines and arrives in limos--he ultimately defends his love's honor but please--give me a smouldering Colin Firth with no ex-wives or philandering any day.

Though it's hard with those with conservative morals to see sometimes, S in the C does, in a twisted way attempt to salvage a notion of romance, and of female survivalism amid a city that has given birth to the anything goes sexual morality that has torn so many women up inside.

These women are flawed and they suffer--

anyhoo I think S in the C is complicated and a fascinating object for cultural study.

And I have to agree with the other commenter--as a girl who spent her 20s in NYC going to NYU--it really is like that for many women out there.

No kidding.
Jennifer | Homepage | 04.01.06 - 9:23 am | #

Great observations, Jennifer. (BTW, I went to NYU too.)
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 04.01.06 - 11:10 am | #

Is there really such a thing as "casual sex"? I don't think it'd be a casual thing; you have to decide if you want to give your virginity away, worry about STDs and getting pregnant, deal with hurt emotions...
mia | 04.01.06 - 3:44 pm | #

Re: "We don't need more sexual "freedom!"

No, what we need is more freedom from the Sixties!! :) Sounds like more women have found that greater freedom than the other 'feeedom' that the SHOCKED researcher expected (hoped?) to find.
Mark H | 04.01.06 - 4:01 pm | #

Dawn: Thanks--no kidding--what was your major and the years you were there?
Jennifer | Homepage | 04.02.06 - 1:03 pm | #