You should tell the Daily News webmaster to make sure the without-"www" address works (which it doesn't seem to right now) -- get up to this century's web conventions.
meep | Homepage | 05.05.06 - 6:18 am | #

The Webmaster's address is on the home page, Meep -- don't shoot the headline writer!
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 05.05.06 - 9:24 am | #

I don't get it.
BillyHW | 05.05.06 - 10:35 am | #

With apologies to the estates of Lerner and Loewe, sung by a gaggle of Massachusetts lawyers.

"I wonder what Patrick is doing tonight,
What merriment is Patrick pursuing tonight?"
Pat Patterson | 05.05.06 - 10:45 am | #

Pat--

You're a bad, bad person! Now the soundtrack to "Camelot" (or "Camelsnot", as we lowly chorus members called it in the worst theatrical experince of my college career) is stuck irrevocably in my head.

Drat you! Drat you to Heck!
Kate B. | Homepage | 05.05.06 - 11:51 am | #

"I am the good Prince Wham-a-lot;
I love to drink and ram-a-lot..."
ricky ricardo | 05.05.06 - 12:00 pm | #

Ha, ha, ha. Jonah Goldberg has an update of various safety measures being taken.

Goldberg, The Corner
Bender | 05.05.06 - 12:51 pm | #

We're members of the Congress
We're always talking "progress"
We stack the courts
And process torts
And spend the public largess!
Anyone can talk to us
As long as he's a lobbyist

We're elected officials
Both fed'ral and municipal
We act like yobs
But keep our jobs
We're well-nigh non-dismissable!
We'll spend our lives in Congress -
And the courts will do our job for us!
Nightfly | Homepage | 05.05.06 - 1:13 pm | #

Ohhhhhhhh ...
He's a Kennedy and he's okay;
He drinks all night...

Never mind. Too silly, eh?
C.J. | 05.05.06 - 1:19 pm | #

LAURA
What do the Kennedys do
To help them escape when they're blue?
The senator who's raving of presidential "lies",
The congressman whose drugs cause his watering eyes.
When they're beset and besieged
The folks so noblessly obliged
However do they manage to shed their weary lot?
Oh, what do Kennedys do we do not?

GEORGE
I have been informed by those who know them well
They find relief in ways both cool and bright
When they're sorely pressed, they drink for quite a spell
Then slobber, cry and upchuck through the night.
And that's what Kennedys do.
Quite a sight.

LAURA
They get wasted?

GEORGE
Yes, that's right.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 05.05.06 - 3:00 pm | #

Kate B.

It's my revenge for being required to listen to my high school production of Camelot years ago. I didn't realize till now how bitter I had become.
Pat Patterson | 05.05.06 - 3:37 pm | #

Pat--

The bitterness of listening cannot compare with the bitternes of listening at every rehearsal. I actually liked "Camelot" until I was in it.
Kate B. | Homepage | 05.05.06 - 3:52 pm | #

We always thought Camelot was where the sheik parked his ride.
C.J. | 05.05.06 - 4:03 pm | #

Well Dawn, if you ever get the urge to put on an original musical parody revue, you need only put out the word and you'll have enough for three acts before suppertime...
Nightfly | Homepage | 05.05.06 - 5:25 pm | #

Well said, Nightfly! It's a delight to come home and discover such lyrical responses.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 05.05.06 - 7:36 pm | #

HEADLESS KENNEDY IN TOPLESS CAR might have been better.
D------ | 05.05.06 - 8:02 pm | #

Couldn't he at least have been able to afford a 2006 Mustang GT Covertible and not the secretarial version?

How about HEEDLESS KENNEDY IN TOPLESS CAR?
Pat Patterson | 05.05.06 - 9:20 pm | #

Perhaps you could have used, "A Tale of Two Double-Chins."
D------ | 05.06.06 - 10:42 am | #