That very headline brought me to this blog. And if it was the only thing of note you ever did, I'd say, "Well done! A life well-lived!" Add to it the peculiar circumstances under which you offered it, and you have a LEGEND.

Still, as wonderful as that is, I maintain your best work was one you freely gave to us, your blog headline about the factory women in India using lubricated condoms on their fingers to keep the snags out of silk threads. A quadruple pun, that rarest of events:

Glove Means Never Having to Fray Your Sari

Glorious. Just glorious! And I didn't even have to pay a quarter for it!
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 1:59 pm | #

Thank you, Robert, for appreciating my humor even in its sari state.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 2:04 pm | #

I'm only spinning this to keep the thread going. Perhaps I should weave well enough alone.
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 3:48 pm | #

ha ha, you two, now stop needling one another. :) robert, i really loved that one too! and don't forget to include this d.e. classic in your compilation of lore and legend... in regards to an imminent hurricane, "hamlets warned of ophelia."
i saw another funny one a little while back that i suspected was authored by dawn, but i'm not sure. the headline prefaced an article about a group of elderly neighborhood activists, and it read "from stoops, they conquer."
serpentyn | 10.31.06 - 6:36 pm | #

Yes, the "hamlets" bracing for the tempest was another swell one.

But we'd better quit now. All's swell that ends swell.
Robert N G | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 7:13 pm | #

Aw, what the heck. I feel like singing! This one's from Cole Porter, just before he read Thrill of the Chaste.

Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And the women you will wow.
Just declaim a few lines from "Othella".
And they'll think you're a helluva fella.
If your blonde won't respond when you flatter 'er.
Tell her what Tony told Cleopaterer!
If she fights when her clothes you are mussing...
What are clothes? "Much Ado About Nussing!"
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And the women you will wow.
If you can't be a ham and do "Hamlet".
They will not give a damn or a damnlet.
Just recite an occasional sonnet.
And your lap'll have "Honey" upon it.
When your baby is pleading for pleasure.
Let her sample your "Measure For Measure!"
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And the women you will wow.
Better mention "The Merchant Of Venice".
When her sweet pound o' flesh you would menace.
If her virtue, at first, she defends---well.
Just remind her that "All's Well That Ends Well"!
And if still she won't give you a bonus.
You know what Venus got from Adonis!
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

Brush up your Shakespeare.
Start quoting him now.
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And the women you will wow.
If your goil is a Washington Heights dream.
Treat the kid to "A Midsummer Night's Dream."
If she then wants an all-by-herself night.
Let her rest ev'ry 'leventh or "Twelfth Night."
If because of your heat she gets huffy.
Simply play on and "Lay on, Macduffy!"
Brush up your Shakespeare.
And they'll all kowtow.

Robert N G | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 7:28 pm | #

Let her sample your "Measure For Measure!"

Dawn,
You may want to delete this line.
*giggle*

Alright, I'll keep it clean.
Hey, Cole started it.
Leif | 10.31.06 - 7:54 pm | #

After all of this, and particularly in honor of our fair Miss Dawn, may I -- dare I -- refer you to Cain's assessment of the punitentiary arts as found in Genesis 4:13b?

"My PUNishment is more than I can bear," he said.
Mark Kellner | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 9:12 pm | #

Get thee to a punnery.
Robert N G | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 9:17 pm | #

As Jimmy Webb would say (via Johnny Maestro), that would be the worst that could happun.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 9:21 pm | #

A little punsense now and then
Is relished by the wisest men.
Robert N G | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 9:27 pm | #

I just checked back on the original post of Glove Means Never Having to Fray Your Sari and found this gem from uncle jim:

"proven good ideas are those which exceed the intended expectations - like the one in this article - that's where the rubber really meets the robe."
Robert N G | Homepage | 10.31.06 - 9:36 pm | #

ah, that is fantastic, but perhaps we should stop sequin to embroider upon this particular theme; if it's not weft behind, it might start to rubber the wrong way and dawn'll get really sikh of us.
serpentyn | 10.31.06 - 11:47 pm | #

I enjoyed that linked biography of you, Dawn. May I recommend an excellent book, if you haven't already read it?
The Seven-Storey Mountain by Thomas Merton.
Joy | Homepage | 11.01.06 - 11:40 am | #

Okay, a taste for puns must be on a special list of venial sins. Something on the order of annoying cleverness.
meep | Homepage | 11.01.06 - 12:44 pm | #

Now here is a jokester's sad story:
After making puns both fresh and hoary,
He died. God said, "Well,
"I can't send you to hell,
"But you've earned sixteen months Purgatory."
Robert N.G. | Homepage | 11.01.06 - 2:14 pm | #

still frisky, he was whisked off for repentance
for his crime: torturing many a sentence.
flames leapt; the soul cried,
"Lord, i'll be not a-fried!"
..............he'll be there for 25 more Lents.

(sorry, robert)
serpentyn | 11.01.06 - 4:48 pm | #

He could see heaven's water-font geyser
And remembered the fabled old miser:
"Lord, please send Lazarus here
"To bring me a beer.
"I assure you I'm sadder budweiser!"
Robert N G | Homepage | 11.01.06 - 5:14 pm | #

rofl!!!!!!!!!! of coors you have utterly sur-pabst me with that brew-ha-ha!!!

::::::ducks flying shoes and garbage:::::::
serpentyn | 11.01.06 - 6:23 pm | #

I assume that is piels of laughter I hear.
Robert N G | Homepage | 11.01.06 - 6:52 pm | #

what is all this brew-ha-ha about anyways? sounds like somebody's raided the still outback and found the fosters.

gotta admit, though, that dawn's woods are funnier and sharper than most, and rng is just trying to catch up a little - but he does have a knack, too. he's funniest in legal writ, but might have a chance as a song-writer for "they might be giants" ... his funniest briefs make make "giants'" lyrics almost make sense.

of course rng has some real serious one's that make more sense than most.

but this is supposed to be about dawn and the great present the post gave her when they released her. and we who hang around the fringes of her blog are delighted to be her 'groupies'.

collectively, we're 'dawndi and friends' ... and we all hang out together in the wood pile.
uncle jim | 11.01.06 - 7:00 pm | #

Thanks so much, Uncle Jim and everyone under this thread's punbrella.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 11.01.06 - 7:57 pm | #

For Dawn, from all of us, with apologies to Rodgers and Hart:

She did some blogging,
Creating some strife;
Spruced up the copy
To tilt it pro-life;
Then she made merry
With Donald's new wife
And shouted "Lady is a Trump!"

Her boss wasn't laughing
(he started to foam);
"Clean out your desk
"And take it all home!"
Next thing you know
She's crossing to Rome
Still shouting "Lady is a Trump!"

She kept her cool, clear wit in the air
She needn't care.
She's out--- but won't pout.

One paper's loss is the other one's gain,
Plus a new book sure eases the pain,
So let's join in with her punny refrain
And sing "The Lady . . ."
All sing "The Lady . . ."
Let's sing "The Lady is a Trump!!!"
Robert N G | Homepage | 11.01.06 - 10:16 pm | #

I saw your famous headline in the Post retrospective piece!!! Dawn Eden lives on!

Nice work!
todd | Homepage | 11.02.06 - 10:51 am | #

and with accolades to Rodgers & Hart, I tip my hat to RNG ... he's got me singing, "Lady is a Trump".

to dawndi,
the website Thrillofthechaste.com is very nice. I'm forwarding it to many. I saw the appearances already listed and am telling all my DC friends about your appearance there on Dec 14. [if "W" shows up, just ignore all the SS guys and gals ... give him a great big hug and sign his shirt - that'll keep those SS-ers jumpin'!]
Anonymous | 11.02.06 - 12:54 pm | #

last 'anonymous' was from me ... just forgot to sign-on
uncle jim | 11.02.06 - 12:55 pm | #

Thanks, uncle jim. It's always nice to know when your creative efforts are appreciated.
Robert N G | Homepage | 11.02.06 - 6:29 pm | #