I give chastity presentations through the CPC I volunteer for. The first thing I tell the high school kids I address (I should point out that these are confirmation class students, not secular high school groups) is that today everyone starts fresh - I don't care what their history is, what they did last week or last month or last year that was wrong, because our God is a God of second chances. His mercies are new each day, and now, this moment, they can start again. I also let them know Satan will try to convince them that they can't do it, and to expect that temptation. They may fall a few times before the new way - God's way - becomes more attractive than the old way, but that they can ask for His help daily for this renewal of their minds and bodies.

I think it's vital for them to hear that previous sin does not disqualify them from choosing a chaste life.
rebecca | 11.29.07 - 9:46 am | #

For what it's worth, I would frame it in the context of choice and freewill. There doesn't seem to be much hesitation to discuss the ramifications of actions, both good and bad, for everything except sex. Part of that is because of a societal taboo in disucssing sex in public (and the fact that you have children present during mass and don't want to step into the parent's space on how/when they educate their children on the mechanics of sex, if not the other issues surrounding it), but the other part is because I have so rarely seen any priest do the topic justice in terms of freewill. They always approach it from an abstinence point of view (i.e., Don’t do this or else) rather than as a healthy choice that frees you to concentrate on other areas of life (i.e., Think about this instead because…).
Kevin | 11.29.07 - 9:56 am | #

This is certainly a good time for this topic... Feast of the Immaculate Conception is just 9 days away!

A Catholic priest has an especially powerful message to share: 1) He can talk about the joy of his own vow to chastity!
2)Then introduce the concept of "living chastely according to one's station and vocation."
3)From there, he can talk about the pain and enslavement resulting from a living unchastely. Broken families, etc.
4)And finish with a reminder of the joy of a chastity in single life and marriage.

Throw in a little Theology of the Body, and end with an appeal to Mary to help us in our struggle against the temptations of the world.

I'd pay attention to a sermon like that!
Del | 11.29.07 - 10:56 am | #

The beauty of the concept of chastity as it is understood in JPII's Theology of the Body is self-evident, and incredibly attractive to young people. The chastity message often begins from the negative; (you can change, God can heal, your past is not your future) which is good and true, but let us not allow the main focus to rest here.

The beauty and the awesome adventure of true love which is self-giving and life-changing speaks for itself. By exposing people to the challenge and the passion of TOB, we can awaken an innate desire in the human person to love totally and to give fearlessly. It's not that the message is too difficult- it's actually impossible without grace- but it's that the message is watered down, so afraid are we of turning people off by being too "hardcore" or having unrealistic expectations.

On the contrary, promiscuity and sexual freedom is, as most people discover after a short while, terribly boring and unfulfilling. Hence the necessity for new partners and endless techniques and tricks and performance-enhancing substances. A cheap thrill is still just that: cheap. Let the passion and the beauty of the truth of human sexuality speak for itself, the way Christ intended. It's hot.
Jenny S | Homepage | 11.29.07 - 10:59 am | #

I know that for Dawn it would be a given that the Church's teaching on sexuality be presented as postive, and beautiful--i.e. we are not anti-sex. [A great example of this is JPII's teaching: "The problem with pornography is not that it shows too much, but that it shows too little." Contrast porn with the renovation of the Sistine Chapel, and the Pope's request that they restore the original--including naked body parts (which had in later years been covered with loincloths) painted by Michaelangelo. The pope is neither a pervert nor a prude. The problem isn't nakedness, isn't sex, and isn't the body. The problem is the divorce of the person and of self-giving love from these.]

I think another crucial component (though I am not sure how to present it with children in the audience) is to distinguish between healthy sexual desire versus lust, and chaste abstinence versus mere sexual repression. I know that for those of us who understand the Church's teaching this may seem to be a no-brainer, but for many who have been formed by the secular media the distinctions are not clear. Repression doesn't work anymore than indulgence (jungle versus cage), but the Christian ideal is neither of these. Expressing the inherent goodness of sex and desire and the body, and giving us positive reasons and ways to embrace chastity (not mere abstinence), would be a huge help, and help avoid the extremes and pitfalls of either direction.
Alexia | 11.29.07 - 10:59 am | #

Good comments, just wanted to add:
1) that for all of us, but esp for teens, group support is so important. Be sure to encourage them to support each other in their chastity pledge or however they want to express their desire for purity.
2) if kids can't see chastity lived out in their parents' lives, its much harder for them to implement in their own. E.g., don't be afraid to address the Playboy hidden in the closet or online porn etc.
3) Just do it. Any honest attempt to address chastity from the pulpit would be better than nothing...which has been the rule for so many yrs.
G | 11.29.07 - 11:49 am | #

I like to discuss with my 8th grade CCD about what are some of the qulaities that being made in the image of God might mean. I explain to them that only humans and angels share the quality of "personhood" with God. Only persons can "know" and "love", and that love has no meaning unless there is a choice to love or to not love. All other creation can be used as a means to an end (some uses are more legitimate than others obviously), but because of the fact that we are persons, persons should never be used as a means to an end but must be loved for there own sake.

I don't get into much detail, but I make it clear that there are ways in which we can desire people that is not love but is almost treating them like a piece of meat to satisfy a desire. This is therefore a grave misuse of the gift of free will that God freely gave to each of us.
steve | 11.29.07 - 11:49 am | #

I like Fr. Belli very, very much. He is an excellent priest and one of the reasons that I started going to Blessed Sacrament, where he used to be an associate pastor.

As for preaching chastity, there are two aspects -- the moral and the practical. The secular world focuses largely on the practical and utilitarian -- avoid STDs, pregnancy, broken families, etc. As for the moral, which the world ignores, if not rejects because it rejects the concept of absolute moral truth, stick to the foundational basics in teaching that aspect, the basics of not only teachings on human sexuality, but all of the Church's moral theology -- love and truth.

The truth of us as human persons and the truth of human sexuality, and the need to remain consistent with the truth if we are to be truly happy and free, and the truth of love, which gives, not takes, and respects the other as a person, not a thing, all the while recognizing and keeping guard against all the various threats to and attacks against love and truth that exist in the world, which, if given into, lead not to freedom and happiness, but emptiness and insecurity.

Sexuality and sexual activity profoundly affects our entire being -- body and soul. If they ignore the moral aspect and start to become sexually active, then they run the risk of becoming infected by sexual desire, which, like a drug, tends to overpower the will, such that the desire begins to control the person, rather than the person control the desire. At the same time, they begin to think of love and happiness in utilitarian terms of what feels good in the moment, of maximizing their own personal enjoyment, even to the point of using and exploiting others. Then even the most chastely-minded of them will find him- or herself tortured by competing desires for good and for raw sexual pleasure. The only thing that can save them at that unhappy point is grace.
Bender | Homepage | 11.29.07 - 11:49 am | #

Though I have (not fully informed) suggestions on this, I think the larger questions of how to preach anything from the pulpit and how to preach anything with any media must first be answered.

How good is the Catholic Church's social marketing program? Is it capable of coping with today's social realities? Are priests sufficiently versed in communications skills? How can the Church improve in this regard?

Anyway, on the specific question of chastity from the pulpit... I was just listening to Amy Welborn talking about how she approaches this in her Prove It books, which is by talking about God's love for us first (inspired by ToB).

IMHO, a chastity homily would be best preceded by a series of homilies on the nature of love and God's love for us. Get folks to internalize the main Christian message first, then the rest follows easier.
Gooch | 11.29.07 - 12:03 pm | #

Sorry I missed your presentation, Dawn. I enjoyed your book and felt that it was one of the few books that approached this topic from a personal and hopeful direction. As Emily described it this AM, it was "stark but not graphic," which makes it an effective tool for instruction. I hope to meet you soon.
Beth | 11.29.07 - 12:43 pm | #

Thanks, Beth! It was you who recommended "The Thrill" to the group, right? Thanks so much for recommending it. I look forward to meeting you too.
Dawn Eden | Homepage | 11.29.07 - 12:52 pm | #

I didn't look to see if the other commenters touched on this, so if I'm beating a dead horse, allow me to apologize in advance.

I think the best thing that preachers can do about chastity is to talk about the *attitude* of chastity--something which you address in your book. If chastity gets boiled down to "don't have extra-marital sex," of course no one wants to listen! Unfortunately, that type of easy "soundbyte" is exactly what I hear in homilies that address sexuality, if a priest is even brave enough to take on the issue of sexuality at all(okay, not around here, but we're blessed like that).

And the attitudes that encourage a chaste existence are, not surprisingly all over the Gospel! You don't need to wait for the woman caught in adultery or the marriage feast at Cana to come up in the gospels because they are linked to sex and marriage. Jesus is constantly teaching folks to respect others and respect themselves. The Beatitudes, the good Samaritan, the story of Lazarus and the rich man, all of these contain the kernels of truth that a chaste existence is based upon.

Lastly, it seems to me that chastity talks are seen as something only "those young folks" need to be concerned with when, in reality, we are all called to be chase, whether we are 28 or 88. Going back to the first point, if you only talk about the proscription on extra-marital sex, of course your older/married folks will tune out. But if you talk about the attitudes of chastity, that has a universal application.

So in conclusion:
A. Don't be afraid to talk about sexuality.
B. When you talk about sexuality, talk about the whole picture, not just the proscriptions.
C. Talk with your youth and young adults about chastity, but everyone needs to be chaste--don't be afraid to bring the message to a wider audience, ie. the whole parish!
C., Esq. | 11.29.07 - 1:22 pm | #

That Marriage is a Sacrament because of its intimacy, just as Communion is. That intimacy is worth being properly disposed for (to use a very Catholic term), and chastity is a positive time of waiting for that very great gift of sexuality, open to life, within a sacramental marriage.
Therese Z | Homepage | 11.29.07 - 2:27 pm | #

It's not much of a suggestion, but I think it's important.

Be honest.

The Church needs to remind us of mortal sin, and at the same time of reconciliation through Confession and Penance. Priests cannot be so afraid that someone will be offended when they say, "This is/would be a mortal sin."

I might have re-thought my tubal ligation if the priest had used those two words. And if someone had mentioned that contraception is a mortal sin, it might have changed the way I thought about it. Instead, the messages given were more like, "Well, the Church doesn't approve of that."

There is a difference between "doesn't approve" and "mortal sin." And it might save a few people some heartbreak in the future.

Again, at the same time, a message of love and reconciliation must be presented, too. Young people (and old people, too, let's face it) must know that no matter what their sins, they can come to Confession and be absolved. As I told my daughter, Jesus forgave those people who crucified Him. He'll forgive you, too, if you're sorry.
Christine the Soccer Mom | Homepage | 11.29.07 - 2:40 pm | #

Ditto to Christine. I wish someone had really called the sin before my vasectomy 15 years ago.

Artificial contraception leads one into temptations toward infidelity. There's a topic for that second sermon!
Del | 11.29.07 - 2:59 pm | #

Ooooh...ditto to Christine and Del. I bet that most Catholics today don't even know what constitutes a mortal sin much less that they are forgivable offenses.
C., Esq. | 11.29.07 - 3:02 pm | #

Hello Dawn and all,
I really cannot add at all the wonderful suggestions above but as a young adult I can say I have never heard a surmon on Chastity/sexuality/TOB within the context of parish life. Fr Tomas Loya on Relevant Radio described this as perhaps signs of a contraceptive priesthood. To an extent, if the topic is rarely if ever preached, this rings true. Unfortunately I think Fr Tomas lost his TOB slot on Relevant radio because of this. The point I guess I am trying to make to Fr Belli and all our great Priests is:
1.Don't be afraid to preach on the subject, particularly after studying TOB.
2.Be prepared to take the hits from certain sections of the congregation.Don't be discouraged.
As laypeople we got to encourage our priests in this effort and encourage our Bishops to support our priests.
Séan | 11.29.07 - 3:05 pm | #

And another thing (then I'm really gonig back to work): Chastity can't be part of a "silver bullet" homily. As several other commenters have hinted at, it's an idea that needs to be drawn out and reinforced because it is such a rich idea. That doesn't mean talk about sexuality all the time, but neither does it mean drag it out once a year and be done with it. So I guess add that as point "D" to my list above!
C., Esq. | 11.29.07 - 3:08 pm | #

Building on #2 of Del's first response above, I would make the distinction between celebacy and chastity very clear. The 2 are often confused with each other, even by cradle Catholics. Celebacy is the vocation of those not yet married (ie. priests, nuns, & us single folk), but chastity is the vocation of all, namely to live in the sexual relationship proper to one's state in life. Thus, a married couple are chaste if they remain faithful to each other
Michael | Homepage | 11.29.07 - 6:58 pm | #

What a nice article about the church and Fr. Saunders.

When I lived in Alexandria, he was the parochial vicar at St. Mary's in Old Town and the founder of our FOCUSS group (young adults meeting spiritually and socially).

He's a great priest. It's nice to see he was able to realize his dream of constructing a beautiful church to honor God.
June | 11.29.07 - 8:46 pm | #

Some interesting background info on the good Father Belli --

http://www.catholicherald.com/ar...les/ belli66.htm

http://www.priestsforlife.org/ me...erviewbelli.htm

http://www.catholicexchange.com/....com/node/ 47798
Bender | Homepage | 11.30.07 - 1:55 am | #

Ditto also to Christine and Del.

Frankly, I think I've heard this topic addressed from the pulpit exactly once in 44 years.

I don't know how to address it. But in general I think there's been a fear on the part of Priests to address this topic, and other serious sins, specifically for a long time. I think that the root of it may be that Priests don't want to drive away parishioners, fearing that they will then loose them permanently. They might, but it shouldn't stop the Church from directly addressing serious sins either.

I guess what I'd look for is the opportunity to bring it up in an appropriate homily, in connection with one of the readings. There might be several possibilities. Perhaps it could be introduced through Mary Magdeline, noting that she's great because she turned from this serious sin, and devoted her life to Christ. She's remembered, in part, for realizing her error and correcting it, not in rationalizing it.

Another possibility might be to introduce it in the reading regarding the rich man who came and asked Christ what he should do. The answer was give away all you own to the poor, and follow me. That may not seem to be a good introduction, but it might be. In our modern society, we don't want to give up anything, even serious sin, and we expect Christ to come to us. We shouldn't fool ourselves.

I guess maybe a final way is through a really short blunt statement. It's apparent where having "our belly be our God" leads right here in this life, let alone the next. Complaining about it will not fix it, as we're a creature made by God, and only happy when we live as God would have us live, save for the temporary joy of sin, followed by the misery of having sinned.
Yeoman | 11.30.07 - 10:25 am | #

Though Mary Magdalene has been thought of as an unchaste woman, all scripture really tells us is that Christ cast seven devils out of her so she isn't a great example of unchastity. There are others readings, the woman caught in adultery comes immediately to mind and certainly Paul's writings are filled with teachings on chastity.

One other important thing is the communal nature of sin including chastity. We hear almost nothing about the effect of unchastity on our non-sexual relationships - how unchastity tears down the body of Christ and poisons all our friendships and acquaintances; how it teaches us to eye all others as objects.

How wonderful and refreshing it would be to hear a homily that included chastity's role in helping us to build loving relationships with everyone.
Drusilla | Homepage | 11.30.07 - 3:46 pm | #

I've been thinking about this, because it seems to me that mass-attending and yet un-chaste people like me are probably Father Belli's target audience, rather than people who are already living chastely, or trying to.

So here, for what it's worth, is advice from the cafeteria:

The homily that made the greatest impression on me in my life was one about sin given on a youth retreat I attended in high school. The priest didn't mention Canon law or mortal sin -- he simply said, "Sin is a failure to love," and he gave concrete examples of this (some involoving substance abuse, some involving sex). Nearly 30 years later, I still think his definition of sin is the best one I've ever heard.

And I heartily agree with Drusilla's last sentence:

How wonderful and refreshing it would be to hear a homily that included chastity's role in helping us to build loving relationships with everyone.
L. | Homepage | 12.02.07 - 12:47 pm | #

L., the best definition I've ever read is one I saw at The Anchoress' blog: sin is when you treat things as persons and when you treat persons as things. (And in fact, these two cases correspond neatly to the two great commandments.)
craig | 12.03.07 - 3:18 pm | #

Craig -- sorry, I don't like that one. I like mine better. :)
L. | Homepage | 12.03.07 - 5:43 pm | #