Breast impersonators?! What is the world coming to next?

I can't believe people are out there getting random breast exams on other people's dimes. I say they should insitute some kind of policy where people have to sign off on the authenticity of their breasts.

Stop breast fraud now!
mojo shivers | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 1:07 am | #

LOL, the thought of a" breast impersonator using up all my mammograms" made me spit my coffee all over my keyboard. There are just some sick people out there. Thanks for the laugh.
Mongakim | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 5:48 am | #

Mojo: Would that call for a lot of topless girls walking around? errr...Can we use the excuse that it is just too damn cold outside?

Kim: Sorry about the mess on your keyboard. Hope you got it cleaned up OK!
Last Girl On Earth | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 10:17 am | #

But you look so good for your age!
nat | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 10:30 am | #

I tried to impersonate a breast once.

Ok...no I didn't
John | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 10:34 am | #

Nat: I've always said that the best response for age is to mulitply your age by at mega years when someone asks how old I am. "Gee, I'm looking GREAT FOR 68, don't you think?"

John: No luck big boy?
Last Girl On Earth | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 10:45 am | #

Question: If mammograms are as uncomfortable as you claim, why is there such a long waiting list, huh? I think you're just trying to snowball us guys

Maybe doctors should start breast-printing their patients . . . kinda like fingerprints, only do it in order to hinder breast impersonators.
Phil | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 10:55 am | #

actually, it's not so hard to imagine forgetting a breast exam, i would think. whenever i get my colon examined, i tend to suppress those memories from my recollection. defense mechanism, you know?
brandon | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 10:59 am | #

Hmmm, maybe time to start barcoding breasts? It would be a new security measure for ATMs as well. Breast Print Identification.

No wonder I get paid the big bucks.
Dave | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 11:34 am | #

I'm so sorry this is a true story and that I laughed my ass off at breast impersonators. You must admit that you're funny! I am glad they will "squeeze" you in this month. Please keep us a "breast" of the situation. I also hope the insurance company is able to "nip" this in the bud and not allow that "boob" to continue doing this.
Lois Lane
Lois Lane | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 12:14 pm | #

On a side note, part 6 will be posted tomorrow morning. Happy weekend! And thanks for coming back cuz I missed ya and stuff.
Lois Lane
Lois Lane | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 12:15 pm | #

Phil & Dave: I'm not too crazy about the idea of getting a bar code tattooed to my breast!

Brandon: Do you get that colon examined often?

Lois: VERY good! I'll be over tomorrow!
Last Girl On Earth | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 1:00 pm | #

lol - bet she feels STOOOOPID!!

whew, at least someone didn't steal your breast identity!!
Dawn (webmiztris) | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 2:42 pm | #

I lost your comment, but I giggled when I read it.

Breast imprestenators, what has the world come to?
Becka | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 3:28 pm | #

Argh...and I thought I was being clever too. I bow to Phil for getting there first and I wallow in shame for having not read his comment before I posted mine. :-/

I kind of figured you'd feel that way about the whole coding thing, I know I would if penile impersonation ever rears it's ugly head (no pun intended)
Dave | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 3:42 pm | #

omg! that is too funny! lol
Chana | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 5:52 pm | #

Now THIS is Nipplegate! And for you boys who think this is funny, imagine your dick being run over by a steamroller, ok? A mammogram is like that, only a little more uncomfortable.

I actually had to tell one technician, "You break it, it's yours."
panthergirl | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 8:00 pm | #

That's a chapter book waiting to be written: Nancy Drew and the Case of the Missing Mammogram
Janet | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 10:09 pm | #

She most likely felt like a boob....yes, I just rolled my eyes at myself, please ignore me.

Great post!
Michele | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 10:20 pm | #

You know, I often wonder if people are stupider or lazier. There is 95% more incompetence in the working world than I remember, oh say even 10 years ago. What gives???
dotbar | Homepage | 02.11.05 - 11:04 pm | #

sheesh! cant forget having something like that done.. good gwad.. oh yes i forgot someone squishing my breat while i pretend to be semi covered in a paper smock
Fidget | 02.12.05 - 11:13 am | #

Fantastic post - breast impersonators, just great. And nurses wonder why they get a bad rap.
What's a girl gotta do to YOU to get a link, I wonder?
tish | Homepage | 02.12.05 - 12:27 pm | #

Tish: All you gotta do is ask!
Last Girl On Earth | Homepage | 02.12.05 - 1:27 pm | #

BTW, have you seen Christo's artistic addition to NYC? Let us know about it if you do!!
nat | Homepage | 02.12.05 - 2:59 pm | #

hi there, i followed the link from Lois's blog and since she's sooooooo cool, i figured you'd have to be too!!
I got to admit, your story is a laugh. I am shit scared of having my boobs squished..its bad enough in a bra all day!!
Michelle | Homepage | 02.12.05 - 3:16 pm | #

Nat: I'm going to try to go during the week when it's empty. Just got back from brunch with friends who are in NY visiting their friend who assisted Christo himself...and they are going to his cocktail party tonight! They said it was totally surreal. I'll take pictures...goofy ones as usual!

Michelle: Maybe you need a better fitting bra? LOL Seriously...You are always welcome!
Last Girl On Earth | Homepage | 02.12.05 - 4:46 pm | #

I cannot believe they were telling you that you must have forgotten you had one. Right.

Glad it was just the wrong chart!
Alison | Homepage | 02.12.05 - 5:59 pm | #

Breast impersonator. What's next!!
Mellie Helen | Homepage | 02.12.05 - 7:26 pm | #

Instead of a bar code, just draw a couple arrows from your nipples to your head with a note that says "These are hers." That would eliminate any confusion.

Off subject but really interesting: After staring at your purple blog everything looks green. I don't care for purple but I love green, so thanks.
CW Fisher | Homepage | 02.14.05 - 8:25 pm | #

I kind of wish somone would take my place for a prostrate exam.
Just joking, sort of!
scott | 02.14.05 - 10:12 pm | #

hi ... i enjoyed readin ur blog .... speacially the mammogram .... since it happens to be a part of my day job .... ciao ...
Nimish | 11.17.05 - 3:57 am | #