Dburt needs a hot cup REALITY better yet make that 2 cups.
Shay Riley is 100% Right
(1st cup) Black People have been brain-washed to see WHITE as SUPERIOR and BLACK as INFERIOR many black men that become Rich and Famous feel the need to show there status with a "TROPHY WIFE" COME ON DBURT!!!!!!!! don't you think there's something wrong when a majority of black men go and marry some old non-black woman off the street that brings nothing to the table, Kobe Bryant, Tiger Woods etc and bypass so many Great and Educated Black Women.
(2nd cup) ,McNair was screwing with some nasty-ass Iranian jump-off when he had a beautiful BLACK WIFE and 4 kids at home. He bought this upon himself just like O.J Simpson and Jack Johnson and so many other black men throughout history
Self-Hatred killed Steve McNair
First, "Mental"...my entry was meant to GIVE you that dose of reality that many of us sorely need! Poor decision making and dishonor are what killed McNair not self-hatred. Did you actually READ my post? You, not unlike many persons of color appear to suffer from poor self-esteem because you put a VALUE on one's race in comparison to your own. If you felt EQUAL to other nationalities you would have focused on McNair's behavior and not the RACE of his "jump-off." Would his death or infidelity have stung less if the young lady were African-American? Damn, his paramour could have been some GUY in this day and age...what then? We have to start to look at these issues from a more sophisticated place as opposed to succumbing to knee jerk tribal proclivities. Mental...where does my logic fail? Again, let's have reasoned debates and not emotional drivel.
Hey guys,
I live here in Nashville and there have been rumors for years that McNair cheated on his wife with both black and non-black women, so I don't think color was the issue.
This however was the first one that he was so undiscreet with...he basically paraded her around town..everybody that frequented the club scene or bar scene in Nashville knew that was his girlfriend.
I fault McNair and I think age is more of an issue here than color.
According to the media the girl was only 19 years old when he met her... was just coming out of a 4 year relationship..she had to leave Iran at the age of 9 after witnessing her parents being killed....she had ISSUES.
People that knew her described her as being very naive.
I think McNair strung her along and lied and said he was getting a divorce...because from what I've heard she was a good girl and only started dating McNair because he said he was getting divorced. (He lied).
With her background it was just to much and she lashed out and then self destructed.
Anyway, it's a really tragic story, because 2 people are dead.
I think it speaks more to age differences in relationships though than color. McNair was almost old enough to be her father. He had no business being with her in the first place based on that fact alone.
Sarah I agree (partially) with your assertions but the age difference is inconsequential. How could he have been old enough to be her father? That's a bit of an exaggeration. In a lower tier setting perhaps but what kind of "father" would he have been at 16? The father analogy would have worked if McNair was over 50 but 36 and 20 is more about "ghetto" mathematics when it pertains to someone being a father at that age....
I think you are right--This pointing out race difference as the culprit (or as a reason to excuse or denigrate behavior) is just bizarre. We saw it during OJ and with Kobe and any number of other cases.
Personally, I have heard these comments from both Black men and women. It would be different if folks were saying that the MSM and/or justice system "goes after" Black men more when the woman is not Black. I could agree with that up to a point. But then, are these same folks out there defending Black womanhood when the alleged crimes are Black (men) on Black (women)? Chris Brown? R. Kelly? Mike Tyson?
BTW, I think the age difference may have been a factor, though not the only one. Most 20 year olds are simply not emotionally mature enough to handle some types of romantic arrangements with someone who is their emotional superior. At 38, McNair would have had a lot more life experience, compared to whatever pie-in-the-sky notions that may have been running through this woman's head about where their relationship was headed.
Sorry--I think he was actually 36, not 38...
Sometimes the truth is painful. The blogger goes a little overboard but in a nutshell he makes good points.
Something is wrong with successful brothers who must go out and find any woman of another race who brings nothing to the table but the same guys will put black woman on blast if they are not on point.
Your free to date any race you want and I am certainly not condoning running around on one's spouse but why is it always the same pattern with these successful brothers?
In addtion, 19 is too young. Dude was too close to 40 to be messing with her.
Again, why are we rounding the numbers and not getting to the specifics. Stats still indicate that Black men and women do and are connecting mono-racially as the norm. Yes, this young lady was immature but this could have happened if both parties were of the same race and of the same age. This need to make high profile Black persons into "everymen" has to stop. Again, no one is discussing McNair's irresponsible behavior, the kneejerk reaction seems to go back to the woman being non-Black....this is what is disturbing. As someone stated previously, McNair cavorted with ALL TYPES of women outside of his marriage but the insistence that he "racially" betrayed his wife is absurd....I repeat, what if he was on the "DL" what dynamic would that have opened up? Why can't some of these unsophisticates (perhaps the name says it all) see that the behavior is separate from the "race." Deal with the dishonor and stop trying to make a connection between this woman being "Iranian." And the age difference or "fatherhood" argument only works if we use ghetto mathematics (50 year old great grandmothers with, 30 year old grandmothers and 16 year old pregnant daughters)....Let's stick to the facts and try to engender our people with greater decision making skills and maybe try to bring a better honor code to our men (and women as well).....stop the nonsense.
Agree with Shay's assessment...Did you see photos of his "jump off" kissing/hugging up with another woman and grabbing her breast? My mom is 73 and used to always say when she saw a black man with a white woman..."there goes the black man in all of his glory"...There is something, not sure what it is, that brings the brothers to their knees everytime when it comes to someone nonblack...I would like to see some examples of successful African American entertainers/athletes that take these type of women off the street and wife them...just saying..
I'm still sticking to the age argument because I know what type of woman I was at 20 and what type of woman I am now at 27 and trust me those 7 years made all the difference in my maturity level and just overall wisdom.
She was too young to be entering into that type of relationship. I think McNair is at fault because being 36 years old, married, a business man and a former star athlete he had a lot more life experience on her, a 20 year old waistress.
I think he played the wrong mind games with the wrong young woman. He should have thought what if this was my 20 year old daughter would I want someone messing with her mind like this.
Like I said earlier I am from Nashville...and the gossip is that she was going around town telling everybody that he was going to leave his wife and marry her-which couldn't have been farther from the truth. This poor girl was clueless and obviously disturbed.
ghetto mathematics-
Please leave this term wherever you got it from!!! Please realize you have some white people that are parents at 16-18 years of age and they can be grandparents at 40.
Your saying stop making everything racial and look at the situation in terms of decision making. Well you need to follow your own advice when you keep using the term "ghetto" to describe the made choices that black people make. It is not a good look for you at all.
I don't care what you say McNair was too old to be messing with this woman and (she was a bring nothing to the table white woman )the decision to get involved with her cost him his life.
@ Laura,
Pretty interesting that you assume the term ghetto only applies to Black folks. Says quite a bit about who YOU are. Ghetto and lower tier, which are used interchangeably, can represent folks of any ethnicity as determined by their behavior, state of mind and social status. This includes White folks..
If you are including white folks in your rant then fine. I do not think you realize that your comments concerning
“ghetto mathematics” did not come off that way in your post. In addition, I only made my assumption based on your comments. I am well aware that white folks can be just as “ghetto” as black people unfortunately this almost never gets mentioned by mainstream media and it appeared that you were doing the same thing as the mainstream media.
I also want to add that I enjoy your site as well as your radio show but, sometimes you brothers (yes I am going to call you brothers as we are all brothers and sisters under God) need to stop being so defensive. I grew up in a middle class family and I know the sting of being accused of being too white and not black enough. It stopped bothering me a long time ago. Sometimes you have to educate those that are interested and let those that want to be ignorant do their thing. You cannot help, convenience or change anyone that does not want your input.
Having said all that keep doing your thing by exposing the public to a different black view point and I will do my best to spread the word about your site.
I'm with Laura on the "ghetto mathematics", there's no need for it here. When folks are saying that McNair was old enough to be this girl's father all they mean is that he was physically capable of being her biological DNA donor when he was 16. It has absolutely nothing to do with his maturity (or lack thereof) or wherewithal to fill a paternal role. Let's not overanalyze it.
That said, I completely agree that her ethnicity had no bearing on the situation. What did McNair in was that this chick was batshit crazy, something he was most likely unaware of until it was too late (if at all). Last time I checked, non-black women do not have a monoply on batshit crazy-ness.
I have to agree with you Dburt.
McNair is dead because of making very bad decisions.
At the end of the day, his children are not going to say "my dad got killed because he betrayed his race," but "my dad got killed because of his decision to be unfaithful to his family..."
Brother Omi...I couldn't have said it better myself and I defy someone to NOW dispute your logic. And in response to those who have a problem with my use of the term "ghetto mathematics"....anyone who knows this blog and/or radio show intimately for the last three years should be keenly aware that we try to promote the ideals of a multi-tiered Black community. The ghetto and a companion lower-tier/ghetto mentality DO exist. As Starks just commented, we ALWAYS insist that the current culture refrain from making the ghetto synonymous with Blackness. In a functional environment, I do not foresee a 16yr old male becoming a father-emphasis on the term FUNCTIONAL. And as far as biology, there have been cases in China where boys as young as 9 became fathers...is that desirable? I should hope not..so the woman being young enough to be McNair daughter is not true from a FUNCTIONAL standpoint. I'm sure that there are a number of similar relationships exist and no one is getting killed. It appears that many women have a sore spot about younger female and older male relationships, albeit the "cougar" phenomenon doesn't seem to bother WOMEN as much. As long as both parties are legally adults, I don't see the issue. The issue as Brother Omi has aptly stated centered on a dishonorable husband and a disturbed paramour. The racial element is inconsequential and is more indicative of an insecurity on the part of some commenters than of actual substance. Nuff said!
I agree with dburt's last comment. Not going into details. Dude was wrong for being a bad husband and father. He did not deserve death for his decisions. He deserved something just not death. Hopefully others can learn from this incident.
Plus 1.
It is disturbing that some have committed to making an emotional investment in what this woman looks like and "hopscotch" over the infidelity and lack of respect for his family.
Mental Hotep might want to trade in those 2 cups of reality for 2 cups of clarity. I expected things to go downhill after your initial comment.
By the way, I have seen this "bring nothing to the table comment" more than once. What exactly do many of these woman that attach themselves to sports figures bring to the table anyway? Yeah, not much, see Real Housewives of Atlanta for further evidence. That table some are referring to has seating reserved for women of all ethnicities, so if we are going to throw stones, lets make sure they are even in distribution.
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