The Sci Fi Catholic Yak Module
My first spaceship had slime dripping off the walls. My science officer cultivated it in the lab and we ended up having deep philosophical conversations with the resulting culture. Eventually we had to space the thing, because it made the jump into theology on its own...
Boo!
(Today, I spent seven hours driving to and from an important meeting. To pass the time, I composed this
Lenten Exhortation against Iconoclasm, to a Sci-Fi Catholic (sung to the tune of the Oompa-Loompa song from Charlie and the Chocolate Factory):
Sanctus, sanctus, sanctus we ain't,
That's why we need the communion of saints.
Lent makes us in holiness grow,
in love and fear of Deus Sabaoth!
Smiter the Archdeacon speaking to you,
telling you what you should think and should do.
You can trust in his orthodoxy,
his car's named 1701-E...
and he's so archdeaconly!
Sanctus, sanctus, etc.
Sara's rebuke will not do you great harm,
she and St. John want you to be O.Carm.
They will not let you stray too far,
lest angry Klingons your day mar...
and dirty your nice scapular!
Sanctus, sanctus, etc.
Now you can learn quite a bit from Xena,
she is not mean, and she's Catholica!
From Space Fed. Directives and from CCC,
she'll quote you...
she'll quote you...
she'll quote you...
lux ex luce policy!!!
Sanctus, sanctus, etc.
(May God bless your lenten discipline with divine tentacles of interior conversion.)
D.G.'s Fiction Withdrawl
His fast has made him delusional, pathetical:
Spouting sci-fi nonsense heretical!
Dissing Trek publicly only begs strife,
But no one is fooled he's gotten a life.
He's read Josephus till he's "Buried Alive!!"
For penance watch Movies except #5.
I've chided enough and will let it rest
Because it's Lent and DEUS CARITAS EST.
What if I said that Star Trek V is my favorite of the Star Trek movies? Because it is...except for Star Trek II, which I love because Khan's breasts are a heckling goldmine.
Okay, you have thrown down the gauntlet:
"Star Trek" the Original Series - well, it's the original. It's classic. It's the best. Of course it is and I will entertain no other viewpoints. Dr. Leonard McCoy - what more need I say? (And yeah, yeah: like all good first generation seven year old girl viewers, I had a crush on Mr. Spock. End of embarrassing confessions).
"Star Trek: The Next Generation" - by this time, we Trekkies were so starved for our televisual fix that we'd have taken anything. Not the absolute worst; pretty good, all things considered. I liked the contrast between Picard and Kirk in their command styles, and it lived up to the tradition of its progenitor by having at least one episode of a truly "Spock's Brain" level of infamy (the one where Beverly Crusher falls in love with the Genie of the Lamp - oh, dear Lord, I could feel my brains dribbling out of my ears as I watched that one).
"Deep Space Nine" - ah, now you're talking! I really liked this one.
"Voyager" - what a wasted opportunity. The first female Captain? A whole new quadrant? Yes! Except that they had no idea what the hell to do with the storyline.
Oh, and Brannon Braga. That person should be encased in lead-lined concrete and dropped into the heart of a neutron star after having all his fingers amputated so he could never, ever again show off how smart he is with his time-travel plot twists. It may have been clever the first dozen times, Brannon, but after that...
"Enterprise" - Hulk Smash! Such a complete and utter trashing of continuity, the universe, the history - what they did to the Vulcans - the sheer contempt they showed for the fans - oh, I can't describe it.
Theme tune was the absolute worst thing I have ever heard in my life. When you get a theme tune like that, you just know there is only to going to be abysmal depths of Stygean horror to follow.
So: one certified genuine original pop-culture classic, two good to excellent series, one could have been much better if they had a functioning intelligence in charge of story line, and one absolute stinker.
Not that shabby, you ask me...
That was throwing down the gauntlet? Good series followed by mediocrity and badness--I think you ended up agreeing with me.
...the one where Beverly Crusher falls in love with the Genie of the Lamp...
Ah, my favorite episode! Says something about my taste, I guess.
I learn something every day. I didn't know first-generation seven-year-old girl viewers had crushes on Spock. This is most illogical.
But in high school, I did kind of have the hots for Seven of Nine, just like every other high school-age geek. Her addition to the show massively increased Voyager's pubescent audience.
So you think saying "one of the many, many, many reasons Star Trek really kind of sucks" is not going to be taken as a challenge?
Ask your mother about crushes on Spock 
Yeah, going on how you treat Lucky, you would think the Beverly Crusher episode was romantic. At the same time you're asking your mother about crushes on Spock, ask her why episodes about heretofore intelligent, independent women who have successful careers on starships (and so have presumably have been trained how not to get themselves killed by falling for alien menaces) turning into weepy, braindead damsels in distress who have to be saved from themselves (since they don't even realise they're being suicidial by sticking around the creepy old dark haunted cottage) by the intervention of a strong man are maybe not the best way to appeal to your female audience.
Seven of Nine - I liked her character. I did not like the appeal to adolescent boys they made of her character. But then, I wasn't an adolescent boy at the time.
Actually, that's one of the points I made about "Voyager" losing its way. They concentrated on doing episodes for the Doctor when he was the most popular character, then they went overboard on doing episodes for Seven when she was. There was no connecting thread of 'this is what we're doing to find our way home' running all through the story; that was only addressed when someone belatedly remembered 'oh yeah, they're supposed to be looking for the way home - er, okay, let's throw in some time-travelling aliens with psychic dinosaur superpowers who might power up a small wormhole for a nano-second and permit Voyager to pick up the birthday cards their families sent them five years ago!'
Finally, and in conclusion: when people talk about "Star Trek", they're not talking about "The Next Generation" or "DS9" or "Voyager" or "Enterprise" - they mean The Original, The One, The Only, The Classic Oldie With Kirk And Spock And McCoy.
Saying that sucks is saying a big thing, boy
Which I see from your original post that you say the original series didn't suck, so it is *you* who agree with *me*!
Yeah...you would think the Beverly Crusher episode was romantic...ask her why episodes about heretofore intelligent, independent women who have successful careers on starships (and so have presumably have been trained how not to get themselves killed by falling for alien menaces) turning into weepy, braindead damsels in distress...
Duly noted. Actually, I liked that episode because it was campy in the extreme and therefore very entertainng to me, not because it was good in any sense of the word. Obviously, whoever wrote that screenplay wanted to do an old-fashioned ghost story, and to heck with Star Trek's continuity and established characters. Taken in isolation and purely for enjoyment, not too bad a job.
I see from your original post that you say the original series didn't suck...
I have never been a Trekkie, but I did enjoy the original series. I began to warm up to The Next Generation late in the game (near the end of the show and into the movies) when Picard put on a jacket or occasional sleeveless shirt, showed off his old man buffness, and started doing action sequences. I hope I'm at least half that muscular when I'm his age.
Let's face it, the original was good for three reasons: telling social commentary, campy plots, and fist-fighting. The Next Generation was bad for three reasons: political correctness, half-hearted campy plots, and a lack of fist-fighting.
I was taking Star Trek as a whole when I wrote the post (and was being intentionally provocative so as to start this very argument), and was not referring to the original series only, but I accept your correction.
At the same time you're asking your mother about crushes on Spock, ask her why episodes about heretofore intelligent, independent women who have successful careers on starships (and so have presumably have been trained how not to get themselves killed by falling for alien menaces) turning into weepy, braindead damsels in distress who have to be saved from themselves (since they don't even realise they're being suicidial by sticking around the creepy old dark haunted cottage) by the intervention of a strong man are maybe not the best way to appeal to your female audience.
I wouldn't be too sure about that. Someone's buying all those millions of Harlequin novels, after all...
Templar may have a point, but on the sf/fantasy side of things, today's romance novels tend to feature tough, independent paranormal investigators, last I saw anything on the subject, though I get the impression that the less tough woman being romanced by a vampire or werewolf is popular, too.
Ah, that's a very sore point you've stumbled on right there: the overwhelming torrent of romantic fantasy novels today (fantasy romance? darned if I know the correct sub-genre title but you know the ones I mean) - all the feisty witches/pagans/wiccans falling in love with vampires/werewolves/urban Fay stuff.
Urgh.
Okay, so yes, between the ages of twelve to fifteen I devoured the Mills and Boone (this side of the water equivalent of Harlequin) romance novels, and yes as a genre fan I can't throw stones for fear of hitting my own glass house and yes, in every field there are good and there are bad examples, but in general, romance novels are not my thing.
This mixum-gatherum of romance and fantasy/horror elements is definitely not my thing.
I'm with Van Helsing on this (and I mean the Peter Cushing Van Helsing): the only thing to do with a dark, brooding, romantic vampire count is a stake through the heart.
I wouldn't have minded the ghost-story element, but that it was necessary to reduce Beverly to an air-head who was only trying to find True Love - ah, come on, guys.
L. Jagi Lamplighter, John C. Wright's wife, once suggested that the appearance of fantasy romance has to do with the disappearance of sexual taboos. According to her, the violation of taboos are necessary to romance; since the society no longer has taboos to break, the taboos associated with vampires have come in to replace them.
I'm with Van Helsing on this (and I mean the Peter Cushing Van Helsing): the only thing to do with a dark, brooding, romantic vampire count is a stake through the heart.
Hey, you'll get no argument from me on that part.
As for the issue of romance novels in general, the Bookworm Room has some interesting thoughts and statistics.
http://bookwormroom.wordpress.co...romance-novels/
http://bookwormroom.wordpress.co...s-are-changing/
Wait a minute...you admire P. Stewart's muscles but make fun of R. Montalban's pecs? That's just plain wierd, and you'll be lucky if your little dragon doesn't have something nasty to say about it.
It's true that little girls watching the original Trek (in syndication) did develop crushes on Mr. Spock. But later, Mr. Worf was may favorite, to the complete horror of all the Data or Picard girls I knew. Kinda like an ink-blot test.
I will concede the point that starships shouldn't have carpet, look like they were decorated by Buick, or suffer from political correctness (especially non-violence). Troi, Dr. Crusher, and Wesley should have been spaced.
I have no comment beyond TNG 'cause after that I stopped watching. The rest may have been awful--the only episode of "Enterprise" I saw was ghastly writing & a waste of Scott Bakula's talent.
I don't revoke my satirical verses, 'though.
First of all, those were not Montalban's pecs. I'm pretty sure those were plastic. Picard had real muscles, but Montalban had a cooler accent. But every time he says a line in that movie, I want to make a Fantasy Island joke.
"I can give you nothing."
...except your deepest fantasy.
"He asks me."
...to fulfill his fantasy.
Spaceship by Buick--yeah, my thoughts exactly. I did rather like the design of the Voyager, however, and I liked most of the cast. Joking about voluptuous cyborgs aside, I really thought the show when down the tubes when they added Seven of Nine and started playing to the teenage boy market.
I also liked the upgrade in weapons and props the shows got every time a new movie came out. Those new phaser rifles that shot exploding bolts instead of beams were sweet. I'm just wondering how they shipped them out to the Voyager while she was stuck in the Delta Quadrant.
Did anyone else notice how they added that race of hunters and that race of CGI aliens and started ripping off Alien vs. Predator?
"the only episode of "Enterprise" I saw was ghastly writing & a waste of Scott Bakula's talent."
Oh, Xena, yesyesyes!
*falls upon your neck sobbing*
How could they waste Scott Bakula? I mean, that was one of the big things that persuaded me that okay, making another Star Trek series might be cool: Scott Bakula was going to be in it. And it would go back to the early days of the Federation, so here was muggins hoping we'd get to see the Andorians and the Tellarites and the rest of it.
Instead, they decided that a hotcha Vulcan chick in skin-tight clothing and a war against aliens with technology so advanced it was like matching Bambi against Godzilla was the way to go.
And I still resent the heck out of that blinkin' awful theme tune, to boot!
About those pecs....Nimoy assured readers they were real in his (2nd? 3rd?) autobiography, "I am Spock" (only provided as a reference and not an endorsement).
Amen, Fuinseoig! And Fuinseoig, how's that pronounced? 'Cause it keeps making me think of my favorite single malt scotch....
About those pecs....Nimoy assured readers they were real in his (2nd? 3rd?) autobiography
Then I can only gaze on this modern Goethe and stand amazed at the massive chest of the man.
Smiter-- I am SOO honored to be mentioned in a verse in a song!! There are many songs out there about Sara, but none in particular about THIS Sara.. Although one SLIGHT correction.. I am OCDS, not O.Carm..I probably wouldn't be allowed anywhere NEAR the Internet if I was O.Carm.. I really don't think it fits in with their cloistered way of life
Sar Trek was slightly before my time but did catch it in syndication in the early 70's. And yes--I'll also raise my hand about the girl-crush on Spock...but I also liked Mr. Scott as his accent reminded me so much of one of my favorite Irish uncles on my mum's side. And didn't you just LOVE Checkov's accent?? That's me..I'm a sucker for accents... especially Aussie accents Makes me turn into a wet noodle.
Enough "True Confessions" for one day...really should save some for my priest.
Sara - Prego, bella! (Put that in an Aussie accent if it floats your boat.) As for the difference between OCDS and OCarm, I chalk it up to poetic license -- I couldn't come up with a pithy rhyme for the former.
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