"...we part with tender relations stretching far behind us, that never can be exactly renewed..."
Very honest and intuitive post about the things that go wrong between men and women despite our best intentions. And how sometimes the past really becomes the past and we can be at peace with it.
Hi Scot,
Isn't nice that as our frames get older, we have the ability to get softer like a favorite and familiar pair of old shoes--the comfortable ones? Our skin may not be as tight, but somehow it fits us better. Our minds slow just enough to have room for thoughts of what really matters. I'm filled with good feelings that you are finding that quiet acceptance of yourself and others. I smile to myself and wonder what were you waiting for? You support the people around here with your words everywhere I see you. Time you did some of that for yourself too.
Liz.
Patry:
Good to see you check in. I like your perspective on how "the past becomes the past." Such a simple statement but so incredibly difficult to realize. But as you say, and as I am only beginning to discover, we cannot "be at peace with it" until we do. Thanks for sharing . . .
Scot
Liz:
I have to say that I am delighted whenever you stop by. You have a special way of picking up on the nuances in my writing, and I think because of that, we as writers have to be mindful to be as honest as we possibly can when we start wrestling with some of the larger, unresolved issues in our lives. I've wondered myself why finding that "quiet acceptance" took so long. But then I have never been a "front door" learner. But when I do find the "back door," I usually find the kitchen more comforting to sample new truths about my life and who I am. Thank you, so much . . .
Scot
I smile because you remind me of something my younger, older brother used to say, "If you want to get to the living room go through the front door. If you want to get to the kitchen go through the back door. If you want to get your own way, ask dad first. It always works for you."
As my friend Peg says, "You can't get there until you get there."
Liz:
Thanks for sharing that. Even more amazing is when we have been given perspective but don't realize the significance of it until many years later. As Emerson says, "For everything you have missed you have gained something."
Scot
Wow. Just wow.
Nothing is more beautiful than watching the human spirit grow.
Tanda:
Good to see you here. Thank you for your enthusiastic response.
Scot
"Yes, age would serve to comprehend,
The grey hair sprouting from the timeless mind,
And age, of course,
Is endless."
The last few lines of a poem I wrote in my early twenties - can't remember the rest. I hear echoes of my own voyage to acceptance in this, Scot; it is a fine piece of writing that speaks wisdom to us all. I marvel at the courage involved, too. To be so open about deep things is not easy.
I tip my hat back to you. I like the connection of deep thoughts and the inpression life makes on us.
Clive:
Thanks for sharing those last lines of your poem. I know exactly the sentiment you express, though if I were in my twenties, I might get it, but certainly not feel it. It would seem, then, that age does give us a much nicer context to frame our memories in. Your kind and thoughful response is appreciated . . .
Scot
Lance:
Thanks for stopping in. Appreciate your kind words . . .
Scot
Very interesting and so are the comments.
I have extremely vivid and powerful dreams that keep me on my toes. Yours seem very different and I guess because yours are connected to the issues that affect you.
It is said that in our dreams we are our alter egos and in effect the opposite of how we really are.... so this fits in with you being trusting in your dreams and not so trusting in real life?
But I'm not sure any more about dream meanings... I used to think it was a whole 'nother dimension we lived in but now feel that really my brain chemicals are as they are and trigger those dreams.
It is a big subject - that's for sure.
Doris:
Yes, it is. Good to see you stop in for a visit. Whether dreams are "brain chemicals" or what the brain does during the night to keep itself active certainly is the subject of much debate. But I hadn't quite thought of dreams as being possibly expressive of an "alter ego."
Nevertheless, whatever they may be, they are never dull. Thanks for your thoughful comment.
Scot
To add to the alter-ego thing, a slightly funny situation..... many years ago I was working as a nanny for a family on holiday. There were two families and two nannies so us two shared a bedroom at night. I was the "professional" nanny whereas she was a distant family member and on this occasion I evidently had the skills with the children whereas this poor girl was out of her element.
So much so that I looked almost a perfect Mary Poppins and utterly cool, calm and collected. But at night.... (did I mention I also sleep talk?) I was this aggressive, bossy and nasty character!!! The other girl was shocked but it was her who first suggested to me about this alter-ego idea and I've since read it elsewhere.
One day I shall post a bit about my nocturnal life: dreams, sleep talking and sleep walking. It's all go in our house!
It's funny because today I saved a draft of an idea about Reality Blogging and then I come by to visit and here you've kind of done it. Been trying to get up my nerve to be more honest. Very interesting post.
I've read that cars in our dreams symbolise our movement through life, and the condition of the car, along with how it's being driven and to where, is significant. Based on this, I'd say that your dream is telling you that you're handing your life over to someone (or something) else, who is either a woman or who has feminine qualities. You don't actually say what your feelings were in the dream about handing over the keys to your car, and instead the feelings once you awoke were all about panic. How you felt in the dream could also be important. Were you panicked about handing over the keys to your car - your life - to her, or were you feeling happy and/or comfortable about it? The panic when you awoke, was that based on feeling like you'd lost your car, or feeling like you've lost what's most important to you - your freedom. Cars can also denote freedom, so handing the keys over is handing over your freedom to someone or something else.
It might be significant as well that these women in your dreams disappear on you... As you wrote, maybe realised, these dreams may be telling you that it's ok to hand over your life to the woman, or that it's ok to be bold and make your approach. If you don't hand the keys over, or if you're not bold, then the women disappear. Ultimately, the message that you get from your own dream is what's important, and anything I can say is only my interpretation, which is nowhere near as valuable as your own.
I once walked past a McDonald's a few years ago, and looking in I could see a couple in their 50's, with an almost finished meal on the table between them consisting of burger wrappings, empty containers, and half a carton of chips that she was idly picking at. What saddened me about this scene was that he was sitting back reading a newspaper, which was held up between them, as if it was a barrier between them. She, while idly picking at the probably cold chips, was looking sadly at the table, looking lost and alone. I wondered when their relationship had ended, and if they both knew that they were simply going through the motions. Your words about two people sitting across a dinner table, wondering how they got to where they are, reminded me of what I'd seen, and I can only express my sorrow that you've felt what I saw.
I'm enjoying your writing. All the best with those dreams.
rdl:
Good to see you check in. Reality blogging? Sounds like an interesting concept. I'll have to see what you do with this. Thanks for your response.
Scot
Alan:
Thanks for stopping by. Your interpretation is interesting, to say the least, and gives me a few things to consider. The scene you describe of the couple you observed at McDonald's almost seems to be a common scene today. Thanks for sharing that. Hope to see you check in moree often. Appreciate your response . . .
Scot
Scot, the story of Pygmalion is ultimately a happy one. And perhaps yours is too, the way your post ends. When the artificial "ideal" of love softens into the real, we find ourselves presented with options before us. Look around you. It is there.
As usual, I arrive late. After so many comments I don't know that I can add anything of value to the discussion so let me say this:
a) I loved the structure of the post. I loved how you started with dreams, talked about yourself and relationships only to end with dreams. The connections were seamless and effortless.
b) I loved the subject of the post - acceptance of who you are and your life. Being at peace if you will.
Garnet:
Yes, it is. Thanks for checking in. Your thoughtful response is appreciated.
Scot
Melly:
The door's always open, as they say. Indeed, I appreciate how your thoughtful response adds to the discussion, especially in regard to how you comment on the structure of this essay. Thanks . . .
Scot
You used the words "Scripts and theater of the absurd" in your comments to me... just to say I couldn't agree more. I have just published 4 of my dreams from 2002. The link is at the bottom of my post on the subject or else in the comments to you.
Thank you for submitting this post to the carnival. It is a great story about knowing where you are in life at this moment by understanding the past.
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