"...we part with tender relations stretching far behind us, that never can be exactly renewed..."
I think the whole snitching aspect of schoolyards grows out of a sense for policing one's own business. Well, I'm not for outright bullying, there's something to be said about a kid learning to deal with adversity without having to be rescued by others.
Provocative and well-written. Although I agree with the above commentor's statement "about a kid learning to deal with adversity without having to be rescued by others," I think he may have missed the point here. Just because we may have differences with others doesn't give us the right to "lay da smackdown" on them. Civility toward others is an attitude that seems greatly lacking with many young people today.
I like your way of easing us into a controversial topic, and then giving us enough room to mull it about before easing us back out.
Great post, Scot. I look at teenagers today and wonder if our generations seemed as scary to our parents. Elliot is right on about the lack of civility towards others.
It's all about them, which isn't all that different when we were kids. But we were taught how to respect ourselves and others. They're not getting that foundation, even with a stay-at-home parent.
Well this one gave me goosebumps. Good for you for doing something. you'll have to give us the follow up on "the discussion" with the group.
Mojo,
Thanks for checking in. Kids should learn how to deal with adversity, but at the same time, I feel that when there seems be such an undercurrent of incivility toward others by many of our young people, I think it's something we need to pay attention to. I don't think it's a question of being disapproving, either. Most of our kids today are not on the road to ruin, but clearly we have some that are, and what concerns me the most is the level of violence some young people will exact when they think they've been slighted, or when they don't get what they want.
Scot
Elliot,
Thank you for visiting and commenting. You are right in what you say. Violence should never be considered an appropriate choice for settling diffences we may with others.
Scot
Deborah,
Good to see you stop by. "Not getting the foundation. . ." Good point. Perhaps that's what I find particularly troublesome with more and more young people today. It's almost as if they don't feel any empathy toward others. They act on their emotions without the least consideration of what the consequences may be. I've seen people pushed, kicked, and punched before, but never anything as violent and callous like I did that day at the high school.
Scot
rdl,
Thanks for sharing your response. I'm not necessarily taking a position per say, but I am trying to understand in a larger context what the specific influences of "gangsta culture" may be having on our society, and in particular, our youth.
Scot
Great Piece.
I have to disagree with the poster who wrote: "there's something to be said about a kid learning to deal with adversity without having to be rescued by others" - Not in a 'captive invironment' where the student is in company with these bullies not by choice.
This is a small Maine school - chilling to think it's become a microcosim of the inner city.
What about the school's responsility to students under their care?
What about the schools repsponibility to teach civilty within the parameters - the kind of civility they will need to keep a job, personal relationships, etc.
"a kid learning to deal with adversity without having to be rescued by others" sounds like a review of "Lord of the Flies."
Whilst kids are busy learning to deal with adversity at the hands of bullying behaviour they are not able to have the mindspace to become the inventors and the scientists of this world.
We all can't be inventors but there are precious few ground-breaking discoveries these days when there should be more.
A blind eye is often turned by adults in the school environment because it is easier.
This is a compelling argument for home education.
Chilling. That was a good choice of words I think, especially in the context of your warm winter weather. I know that most courageous actions don't feel as if they are so, Scot, but still I see the courage of your character and your convictions in what you did and said. And though your "charge" may have mumbled disapproval of your response I have to believe he also took note of you plain old, ordinary "guts."
You walk us into the school and have us wait to see the event, revealing it with the same surprise that you saw. And I'm sure the response that you illicited from me, at least, was equal to your own. What the heck are those "grown-ups" over there called teachers for?
I felt your disassociation under that robin's egg blue sky. I hope they hear it when you talk about it with them. I wonder what they would think if they read this piece you wrote.
I hear so much fear in every person in this story--except for you. No wonder you felt alone. They've built a universe in which there is no hope of being themselves without fear and they don't even know it.
This was one scarey blog. I am glad you did something but it looks as if your running uphill in the system.
Gm,
A review of Lord of the Flies...
In a way, yes it does. I feel schools should set the example for civility and to be more proactive in monitoring what goes on in the classroom and hallways. Students should feel safe. Thanks for commenting,
Scot
Doris,
Good point. Too often people look the other way, but people who are in a position of responsibility, especially in a school, should never look the other way, and should never be complaisant about student behavior. Thanks for reading and commenting.
Scot
Liz,
"They've built a universe in which there is no hope of being themselves without fear and they don't even know it."
You make a good point. Even worse is when they call it being "cool." Thanks for sharing your perspective on this.
As always, you give me a good sense as to the effectiveness of what I've written by taking the time to convey your feelings in response to the work.
Such criticism is invaluable.
Scot
Dr. John,
Sometimes we have to run uphill before things flatten out again. Thanks for coming by and sharing your response.
Scot
Excellent piece - so thought provoking and so disturbing! I don't know what I would do if I had a child in public school right now. Am I fooling myself to think private school is any different? Probably. I have no kids in school, so I am not familiar any longer with this age child or the school setting they face each day. I can certainly understand the home schooling concept from a multi-layer viewpoint. I usually fall on the side of disagreeing with it because I feel kids need the socializing and the experience of organized schooling. Now I wonder at my own conclusion. Yes, how did the intercity mentality get into your small area school? Is it in mine? I need to go find some teens and ask some questions! If I were a parent I would be asking a zillion right now! Thanks for this enlightenment. Good for you, BTW, for snitching! Someone needs to tell the truth!
Scot ... just wanted to thank you for your comments. Was gone on a two week furlough so could not respond sooner.
EuroYank
Sky,
You're welcome. Thanks for coming by and for your heartfelt comment. "Intercity mentality . . . small area school." Hadn't quite thought of it that way, but you're right. As parents with school age children, we need to be asking these questions in regard to what they're listening and responding to.
Scot
Euro,
You're welcome. Good to see you come by.
Scot
Scot would appreciate your opinion on the following new post ...
Firestorm Coming
Scot- This is a thoughful and thorough exploration of a delicate subject. I have a friend with a 9 year old who's simmering with anger all the time. She's done her best to raise him with peaceful attitudes, but it doesn't seem to stick. I wonder if there's a sense of hopelessness which has sunk into kids, an animal fear about the fate of the world in general. Are we missing something?
It's sink or swim in kid's culture. It's all over TV, the internet, the radio, their CDs, ipods, movies and is translated in their behavior. Parents have little chance against all that!
I'm starting to think there are some good points to the Charge of the Right Brigade. Liberal attitudes have been too complacent about allowing alternative "culture" to thrive. I'm in favor of much stricter school standards, including uniforms, silence, and involving parents much more. (of course, some of these problems are more that one generation old, so the parents are often just as bad)
I also think church of some sort is just plain good for anyone, religious or not, especially kids.
Anyway, I could go on and on. Thanks for the thought provoking post.
David
Scot, my 7 and a half year old grandson is all about 'the yo yo music with the bad words' as I've been referring to it since he was about 4. I found him watching BET with very sexy babes looking like girls in a strip club. The lyrics are awful.
Kids of all races have been eating it up for the past 15 years or so. Seeing suburban kids trying to be inner city gangsta types is disturbing.
You've written eloquently about something that worries me very much.
A subculture of anger is growing up all around us and people (teachers no less)are looking the other way in the name of free speech and such. Rock and Roll was more about bucking the system. Gangsta seems to be about paying back anyone who dares to cross you be it real or imagined.
My sympathy to the teachers because I feel it belongs to the parents to make sure they raise their kids with some respect but again. What generation of parents are we speaking of and what are their lives like?
I'm glad you took action.
I'll be back to see how the "discussion" goes.
TV is TOO influencial and if I had kids, I'd keep them away from TV ::::::::steppin' down off the soap box::::::::
Dave,
"a sense of hopelessness which has sunk into kids. . ." I wonder that sometimes myself, especially with the kids I work with. Apathy is something I understand, and can work with, but with quite a lot of kids today, we're not talking about apathy; we're talking about total disaffection with themselves, others and society.
Thanks for sharing your perspective on this,
Scot
Mary,
Good to see you stop by. "A subculture of anger. . ." Interesting point and one that leaves me wonder exactly what hip hops' ultimate influence will be. As you say, "Rock and Roll was more about bucking the system," which is distinctly different than "paying back anyone who dares to cross you be it real or imagined."
Thanks for sharing your views on this. . .
Scot
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