If they resign him, I may stop watching.
Copy that, jerky. This season started off shitty when Greg Dickerson replaced Willie Maye, then the free agent signings, the incompetence of Coc, etc. etc. Looks like they got out the K-Y jelly greasing the way out for Coc with the I miss the family schtick. I didn't think I could feel any worse until you brought up Carrolls' name, holy shit, if the Celtics were a spouse you'd be granted an uncontested divorce with no problem. Since your blog was ahead of its' time and has now become the norm will there by an even gloomier blogspot created, like maybe CelticSuicideWatch.com? At least I have the literary classics to turn to, tonight I think I'll delve into "A Tale of Two Titties." I don't even care enough to say Fuck Coc anymore. What the hell, Fuck 'em all.
I agree with your take on Doc Rivers' failures as a coach, but I disagree with you about Pierce.
Pierce led the Celtics to the 2002 Eastern Conference Finals while his team was ranked 29th in rebounding. Tony Battie was the low-post 'threat'. When the only other player on the team that could consistantly score was dealt (Twan), the Celtics immediately struggled.
Bird had McHale, Jordan had Pippen, Kobe had Shaq... all winning teams have a secondary scorer, something that Pierce has gone without for years. If we can develop a second scorer, we will be in decent shape. If we develop some muscle down low, we could be back in the top of the conference.
Hey,
I just read February's columns and goddamnit they are sooo fucking funny! I particularly liked the comment about "flogging it anew" - dude you have a way with words - even the headlines cracked me up "notes from a freefall"; "magical misery tour" "phucked up by phoenix" You should've been been a journalist, what's a medical degree worth these days, anyway?
To the topic at hand - I've given up - obviously - on the Celtics for the forseeable future. Maybe it's Wally's sore knee (damaged goods anyone? Danny?). Or that 2008 pick, which looks far, far away right now. I went to the Phoenix game and did notice the "skyzcz" did an inordinate amount of butt-slapping - I wouldn't dream of slapping a guys ass in front of 12,000 people and a TV audience. It looks gay, you know? On a side note, that may be the last game I see all year because I subscribe to basic cable, nothing extra. Comcast was giving me a free ride for a while, I was getting FSN or NECN or whichever the fuck channel it was the Celtics were on, I can't keep track of all that miscellania in my ever-dwindling supply of brain cells. But Comcast has now cut me off like a woman scorned and I'm down to flogging away at maybe 22-23 channels now. Sorry Comcast; no fucking way on God's good earth do I shell out $35 extra PER MONTH! just to watch this poor, pathetic excuse of a team play out the string on a wasted season. Apparently, the Sox will have to survive without my viewership as well. No Coco for Chris this year. So be it! Who needs TV, anyway? I can use the free time to engage in some productive self-improvement activities - like finally reading that hackers manual on how to gain free access to internet porn sites. Or maybe peruse great classics such as "tale of two titties", as tittyfuck so cleverly misnomered the Dickens novel.
One final thought, though, on Pierce. The Celtics have lost an inordinate share of close games this year. If Pierce didn't incessantly gag in the 4th quarter, as is his wont, and which he did in the Phoenix game, then the Celts would be winning *some* of these games. He seems to make the Celts just bad enough to lose.
Thanks for the kind words, Chris. Chestnutt’s observations should be required reading for any real Celtic fan. Obviously I’m biased, but I don’t think its out of line to call his posts the funniest and most insightful in the Celtic internet community. Spread the word.
Titty, I love Dick(ens), but I just got a copy of “The Old Man And His Titties” to read instead of watching tonight.
Sorry Peicsh, I’m not buying the build around Pierce BS (as you might have guessed if you read us on any regular basis).
Chris, wow man, thanks, that's very nice of you to say. I personally find the contributions from Mr.'s Tittyfuck, Boilpopper, Myassholestnxdzyrs?, et al. (and I do mean ALL) to be amongst the finest Celtics humor/commentary on the internet. We serve as a conduit for their (and Willie, and RDF, ShitsRivers, and WOTR, etc) anonymous genius.
Hey Tittyfuck, re: Tale of Two Titties, you must be right in the middle of that book.
Piesche - thanks for writing, we like your site (www.iheartceltics.blogspot.com). I would comment more on the Pierce stuff, but I'm hoping it will galvanize Jerky into writing a titanic posting on the issue.
Piesch, I think you need to view Pierce as the complementary player and not the star. In that role he can and will be very useful. Playing along side Garnett, Duncan, Shaq or even a Dirk-type player, Pierce will be the ideal compliment. He would probably score more and play better than he does.
What Pierce is not, is a star. Pierce will never come in and dominate like Kobe or LeBron. That isn't his game. The sooner Danny realizes Pierce is complimentary rather than star, the sooner this franchise moves forward.
Additionally, if I read one more person talking about liking the "Wally Era" (from another site) I am going to vomit. That guy fucking blows. Possibly the most overpaid player on the planet. Terrel Owens is a better player than Wally.
I'll things being equal I'm thoroughly enjoying the Wally era. HA!
At least it's opened up some eyes regarding Rivers and Ainge.
Does anyone remember what a hardon everybody associated with the Celts had the day of the trade?
The guys the epitome of a stiff. He enbodies it in every possible way.
I'll be at the game tonight. 5 rows up from the center yelling my ass off about how they shouldn't have let Ricky go...
awww yeah, RickyDF. Scream "Celtics Doom!" at Wyc if you see him walking by.
Believe me, I read this blog quite a bit and I understand prevailing the anti-Pierce sentiment on here.
What I don't understand is how the Celtics made it to the Eastern Conference Finals in 2002 when:
1) Their post play was worse than it is now
2) Their rebounding was worse than it is now
3) Their shooting is better now than it was then
The only reasons I can see why the Celtics are in the cellar now when they were a top-4 team just three years ago is that their defense is horrible, they lose almost every close game, they can't win on the road, they turn the ball over a ton, and they don't have a legitimate second option that they had in Antoine.
Is any of that Paul's fault? Sure, he has missed some shots down the stretch that burned the Celtics this season, but without Pierce we would NEVER play close games. Most of the blame falls on Doc. If the Dallas Mavericks can play good defense with Nowitzki and Diop on the floor, ANYONE can.
Doc is a joke, but Pierce is the real deal. If we get rid of Doc and sign (or develop) another scoring threat, we're in good shape.
Love the blog, though!
Even the Danes and the Muslim fundamentalists could agree that Coc is a crummy coach. With the right man at the helm, there's no question this would be a different team. With the season already tanked, a good draft choice and a Coc replacement are all I have to look forward to. That and my newfound appreciation for the classics; next on my list is "The Taint Mutiny".
hahahha, I'll be reading the Iliad and the OddTitties. Maybe even some poetry, The Taintlands.
Peische, I agree that defense is the difference, but we just think that the 2002 team was on the wrong path - ie: fools gold playoff appearances that disguised the mediocrity of the team. Of course, had we kept Johnson and not traded for Baker, things might have worked out much better, but if you take the team Ainge inherited, we still believe it needed to be fully gutted and rebuilt with lottery picks. Pierce is having an epic season, no doubt, but does he really have another year like this in him, let alone the three or four it's going to take before the young guys are mature/established enough to consider us a true playoff contender? We don't think so, but who the fuck knows. Either way, it's an interesting and endless debate.
Now I have to go read Goethe's Elective Affin-titties.
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