Can the Celtics make the playoffs? Well, we know New Jersey, Detroit, Cleveland, and Miami are the class of the conference.
Chicago with Wallace, Indiana if it can get a full season out of Jermaine, and Milwaukee with their new court all look substantially stronger than Boston.
That leaves Boston competing with the Wizards, Magic, and 76ers for #8.
Is it possible Jermaine O'Neal gets hurt again and the Pacers fall out of the playoffs? Kidd goes down and New Jersey misses the playoffs? I mean, a scenario like that could happen and the Celtics could sneak in for the right to get owned by Miami in round 1.
However, do these Celtics have a chance to play good basketball and assert themselves as a competitive team that no one really wants to play in the playoffs? I mean is one of the young point guards going to step up his game to the point where we say "this player needs to be the starter for this team to function". Is Al Jefferson going to step up and have us gushing things like "Ryan Gomes is a good hustle guy, but it's impossible to play him over Jefferson with those unstoppable post moves!"
Basically like you said, some of the internal position battles are going to have to sort themselves out on the basketball court. Players will need to assert themselves and win jobs. If we have a situation like last year where Doc feels the need to play everyone equal minutes the Celtics will not make the playoffs.
Also the health of bone on bone could end up being a deciding factor. Still though, I think Iverson with a crappy supporting cast beats Pierce with a crappy supporting cast anyday of the week. I pick Boston to miss the playoffs and as usual torture us by still ending up with a shitty draft pick.
as always, the comment section is the best part of this. Great analysis EJ, I agree that it comes down to those 4 teams for the 8th seed, and of them at least Washington is much stronger than us (the series against Cleveland proves that), and probably Orlando. The Kidd situation is the only dramatic possibility for change, power balance wise, but it certainly would be irony of all ironies if could-have-been-a-Celtic Marcus Williams stepped in and led them to the 8th seed if Kidd went down. Interestingly, if the Bucks are really significantly better and nothing wacky happens with injuries on the other teams, an Iverson/Pierce duo still could have landed out of the playoffs.
The only things I'd go out on a limb and say absolutely will happen are these 1) Coc gets fired, and 2) Rondo flames out a la Orien Greene.
Coc won't make it to the all star break. ainge will step down after the season. They'll absolutely miss the playoff and end up with another shitty pick.
I like the prevailing wisdom that we enjoy being miserable about he celtics. It maybe true that we enjoy misery but speaking for myself I don't enjoy it in regard to the celtics. At this point I watch them by default, if I wanted to spend the extra dough on nbatv I would and would only watch the Celtics every so often. As a basketball fan I crave the NBA, and the Celtics, I can't believe this is true, I watch because they are on, not because I actually give a shit about them anymore. They are a joke, a bottom 10 team in a league on the upswing, other teams have lapped them in the rebuilding process and Ainge still manages to hang onto his job.
You're doing a heck of a job Wyc.
"I like the prevailing wisdom that we enjoy being miserable about he celtics."
Thanks for bringing this up Willie. Of all the folly out there in the Celtics internet world, this one is the strangest. I could understand if we griped about a 50-32 team that couldn't get over the hump to a championship - fine, that could be an example of not being grateful for what you have. But this team is a debacle. It's fucked from top to bottom and has no hope, and on top of that we're lied to by preening fanboy owners who don't know a fucking thing about winning basketball, or more likely, don't care. I take it personally because I invest a lot of time into it. But like you say, at this point it's almost just habitual obligation that draws me to the TV rather than enjoyment. Like the last 5 seasons of the Simpsons. If this is enjoyment then I'm even more fucked in the head than I ever feared.
You guys and your comments about "enjoying" the current state of affairs is the exact same way I "enjoy" my semi-annual copulatory duties with the old bag. Now, if she would just let me stick a hot pepper up her ass...
Laugh out fucking loud. Nothing like a vitriolic outburst from Dr. Chestnutt to make my day. If this team, as it now stands, wins 42 games I'll buy a custom-lettered Brian Scalaburine game jersey. On one point, though, I think you underestimate Danny. When you say that excessive losing and uncertain roles and minutes will cause pissy-ness, I think you overlook the fact that Danny has carefully put together a team in which no player, other than Pierce, has the credentials or credibility to complain about anything. Viola, instant team chemistry! Additionally, should a player complain, talking points will be immediately sent out to Mike and Tommy to smear the player's character while Danny seeks to trade him for a more devout player.
So why do I watch? I was born and raised outside of Boston and I like basketball. What am I supposed to do become a Heat fan?
Personally I barely watch the team anymore. I was good for most games up until the infamous summer of Dickau/Scalabrine. If you asked me to name 5 players that I absolutely hate in the NBA, those two would've been on the list. Interestingly Olowokandi would've made the list too and within 6 months he was also on his way to beantown. I had always been a huge Ainge fan, I always grabbed him in fantasy leagues, I have his Blue Jays baseball card. Funny this guy could actually get me to stop watching the Celtics.
Seriously, what combination of drugs do you have to be on to look at Brian Scalabrine and think "that is a player that I'd like to have on my team long-term."
This discussion about ownership has gotten me thinking back to the days when thannksdad made it public that he was looking to sell the team. I was praying for either A) a billionaire or B) a diehard Celtics fan that wanted to see the team competing for championships.
Wyc initially sounded promising in the Celtics fan department. Wouldn't it have been great if he decided that competing for 8th seeds and winning 40 games wasn't what Boston Celtics basketball is about, and announced that he was going to begin a long and painful rebuilding project?
Fast forward a few years later and like Dr. Chestnutt said, four HUMILIATING contracts (I upgraded them from embarrassing to humiliating) and essentially the team is the NY Knicks Lite.
Wasn't it fun when huge NBA contracts were first being passed out to laugh at the really stupid ones? "They gave Derrick Coleman *THAT* deal!" or "Oh my god JUWAN HOWARD???!!!"
Now it's almost to the point where our own Boston Celtics are a mortal lock to swing a deal for Erick Dampier or do something equally stupid. Well that's probably an overstatement; Dampier would first have to have reconstructive knee surgery as well BEFORE Boston would trade for him.
The next few offseasons could be interesting. Which direction will the Celtics go? Shrewd deals for the young guys that protect the team if players don't develop as anticipated? Or are we in for some Isiah-quality high comedy like 6 years $42 million for Inmate #42 on the heels of 18mpg 6ppg season? I can already see the shiteating grin on Danny's face as he gleefully announces that an agreement has been reached!
Years ago, the Soviet Union would roll out something called the Five Year Plan, in which things would get immeasurably better during that period of time. The only problem was that, due to a lack of progress, the plan always needed to be extended constantly, never ending in anything of substance. Methinks the Celtics may be in a similar predicament.
great point tittyfuck, all Yuri Andropov needed was a dance squad!
anon, agreed, can't wait for the Ricky D type PR turnaround on whoever gets shipped out. We should start a contest for "most likely subtle shitfucking premise to be hung on the neck of outgoing player X." Perhaps some veiled hints involving Hezzbolah, scientology and/or Lindsay Lohan's mother. Someone reanimate Tommy and get him ready...
EJ, hahahha, Erick Dampier! Why didn't I think of him? Veteran all-star, yeah! Let's give up three #1's for him. To your other point, I too had some faith in Wyc and Co, simply because they made that push to bring back Bird (after Pitino drove him away), but now it seems like it was some cost-efficient grab at winning the attention of the fans. These guys are fools, truly, or worse, they simply don't care. When people talk about making a financial commitment to winning, it's not just on the salary side. It's also the understanding that your gate is going to take a hit while you build a product worth selling. The irony, of course, is that the road they've chosen to take will ultimately drive away fans who are sick of being lied to while at the same time accomplishing nothing on the court.
Go Dance Squad...
hey look another crappy article on celticsblog about how great the celtic's young players are!!!
does jeff have a computer program that pumps that crap out?
"okay, for tuesday I need an article about Jefferson and Perkins as a latter day Chief and McHale, for friday I need an article that Delonte and Telfair are just like DJ and Ainge, minus the 5 rings and the MVP trophy of course....ENTER"
And for the special Sunday edition, an epistle entitled "Is Coc Shivers destined to become the John Wooden of the NBA?"
How about Jeff's which young Celtics stud is about to make next year's all-star team poll. WTF???????? Should've said more likely to make the Euroleague....
Thanks for the breath of fresh air, Doc.
Everyone, breathe in, look around and note that you've been tripping this summer. Back to reality.....Can you imagine if we had Iggy on our team? We'd be nuts. Or half of the Indy bench for our starters?
Anybody interested in 40% off Wally Szerbiak game jerseys can get them at Ellenton, FL Prime Outlets. Is that crickets I hear?
If anyone needs me I'll be measuring percentage of body fat on a bunch of bottom of the rotation players...
God is celticsblog awful. just fucking awful. find something knew to write about for god's sakes. anything.... same shit regurgitated over and over.
Maybe there just isn't that much of interest about the Celtics in the middle of august to be writing about everyday?
I like Celticsblog. I go there for my happy. I come here for my sad.
Jeff's grammar and spelling are brutal, though. Thanks, Dr. C, for your clarity, even if I don't get all of your smart-guy references.
I'm excited for this season, so I read Celticsblog. I'm also excited for an upcoming dentist appointment and have recently had my scrotum carved open by a urologist.
You didn't mention anything about the 'Celebrity' seats! The cheer leaders and B-listers will make you forget all about the Celts getting blown out by 30 by the Lakers next season. Whhooohoo..not all is lost!
I haven't taken a dump in three days.
Hey myassholestnxduzyrs, you might try taking that dildo out of your ass.
Oh by the way, Raef game jerseys are on sale at celtics.com for on $22. Think the KKK or LDS need any basketball jerseys?
http://i30.photobucket.com/album...-drunk-
drun.jpg
Looks like Dirk might be slippin' a dildo up Nash's ass.
celtics.com is reporting...nah, just kidding. They have nothing to say.
I got my season tickets in the Scalabrine section! Whoohooo!!
hahaha, I didn't think anyone had anything to talk about so I did actual work for a few days. I had a dream last night that we traded Gomes and GG for picks, so I figured I best check in today. Thanks for the nice words from everyone, really.
Anyway, poor Jeff gets a lot of shit, but I think it's an incredibly tough gig to write about anything everyday, let alone this shitty team, so kudos for his productivity and loyalty. My wish is that CelticsDoom never gets stale (which may be too late), so that's why there's enormous gaps in our coverage. Thankfully these are readily filled by myassholestnx relating to us the current status of he and the old bag's sex life.
Anyway, today is the Ratliff/Brokebassy re-trade date, so maybe we'll start hearing some more rumors. If not, we may all have to start talking about the Emmy awards or something.
Someone on Celtics blog actually posted this about trading for Marion:
"Considering we’d probably give up Ratliff (someone that can really help our team) and a few of the young guys, and I really don’t see how this trade is going to be helpful."
I agree re: Marion!!! I mean, how could anybody who gets 22 pts, 12 rebounds, 1.7 blocks, and 2 steals per game and is a tireless worker help the C's, especially if we have to give up Theo and the godlike potential of our young superstars?!?!?
That posters name was cos. As in, why does a dog lick his balls... cos he can.
Now I'm not sayin' I eat a lot of pussy, but I usually go to the dentist to get a haircut.
http://www.nba.com/celtics/news/...ickup-
game.html
Encouraging: Al Jefferson has been there all summer.
Discouraging: Al Jefferson thinks he made progress in the Vegas Summer League.
Encouraging: Al Jefferson set a goal for himself of averaging a double double (Who wants to take that bet?)
Discouraging:He still can't fucking cut on his fucking ankles
I do like hearing that Ratliff is giving out advice and that Jefferson seems to be embracing him. The reality is that Theo is the most accomplished interior player Boston has had since Jefferson arrived. Maybe Theo can teach him a thing or two about not getting in foul trouble.
Encouraging: Al Jefferson has been there all summer.
Discouraging: Al Jefferson has been there all summer.
Encouraging: I bought the old bag a vibrator and she liked it.
Discouraging: She's already chipped her teeth on it.
http://www.nba.com/media/
celtics...wally435290.jpg
sounds like someone agrees with you
--------------
And I am very much an anti-Anthony guy — and nothing he did at the worlds in his shoot-first manner of play impressed me — but I’d take him over Paul Pierce any day of the week.
Pierce has always struck me as the guy who gets good numbers on a bad teams.
http://www.thestar.com/NASApp/cs...&
StarSource=RSS
I feel the need to jump in and defend Pierce here again. Sure, he puts up good numbers on bad teams, but the best supporting cast he has ever had in his career consisted of Antoine Walker, Rodney Rogers, Eric Williams, Tony Delk, and Kenny Anderson. Pierce averaged 26/7, shot 44%, including 40% 3pt, and almost carried that bad team into the finals. Given a chance, on a good team with at least one more good player, some veteran leadership (which he obviously does not possess), and a couple mentally and physically tough guys, Pierce could definitely be the number one or two guy on a winning team.
Anybody gettin' any pussy out there?
Me neither.
I got pussy once, ended up with a three-year-old daughter that I can't stand.
WE'RE NUMBER 12! WE'RE NUMBER 12!
Yahoo preseason East rankings:
http://sports.yahoo.com/nba/news...=yhoo&
type=lgns
Oh, be patient!
I got some ass this morning... my finger poked through the toilet paper.
tittyfuck wrote: "I got some ass this morning... my finger poked through the toilet paper."
Oh! I'll bet you smelled that finger all day.
Is it gay that I'm much happier to have Rondo on the team after Ryan referred to him as Rajon "a do ron" Rondo?
In other news the Kandi Man is back in camp. Would you guys hate me if I made a serious effort to forget I ever liked the Celtics and tried to invest myself in another team?
As no one else is paying attention, I try to answer EJ's questions:
1. Yes.
2. Yes.
Wow, this site is awesome. I have to visit more often. Doc, you are one hell of a writer.
Oh, and I love how the primary color of this blog is orange. Almost like you said, "I don't give a fuck. I'm writing about the Celtics, and the site can be pink for all I care."
I'm not sure if Chestnutt would appreciate being referred to as "Doc", I guess as long as he's not to be confused with "Coc".
I miss Dr. Chestnutt, I hope he posts more when the games get underway.
Looks like Scalabrine is down to a C cup.
You're gettin' me excited, A-mous.
no posts at Wizznutzz from Chestnutt and nothing here, hopefully all is well with the Doctor.
Hope you all saw that classic Scalabrine airball in OT last night.
Doctor, if you're out there let us know, okay?
Hey guys, the good doctor is doing just fine, he moved out to the left coast to pursue some dreams. Some of us only talk about doing something like this, he has the balls to actually do it.
Hopefully, he can check in every once and a while, but being out there does not give him a chance to watch any games - which is fortunate for him since he doesn't have to put up with this small-ball bullshit.
I'll tell him that you were all asking about him. Maybe someday a larger audince will be able to enjoy his wit and humor.
So, is this the end?
I'm going to light a fart in the old bags' face tonight in tribute to Dr. Chestnutt.
Dang! This was my favorite non-porn website.
Don't it always seem to go, that you don't know what you got till it's gone....
Goodbye Good Doctor.
Someone start a "Buy Chestnut NBA League Pass" fund!
Loved the site, good luck Dr.
EJ
An Ode to Chestnutt
There are not many things I will miss
But news of your leaving makes the list
A season without your candor and wit
Is like fucking a chest without any tits
Who else will challenge all the kool aid drinkers
And differentiate the hopefuls from the out and out stinkers
And give nicknames like Scalab(u)rine and Coc
Not afraid to take the occassional knock
A man not afraid to tell the truth about "The Truth"
Or Tommy and Gorman and others long in the tooth
Not afraid to say D-Herp's not a real point
And as an All Star, for AlJeff it's not time to anoint
Your site was a refuge for the poor and unpretty
You took in the rif-raff, like the Statue of Liberty
You were the yen to celticsblog's yang
The leader of a motley, irreverent gang
You're website was simply one of the best
And now we are told that you've moved to the west
Don't hang it up, Doc, please listen to reason
We need you to make it through another Celtic season!
But if you're gone for good, in all seriousness, let me wish you the best of luck
Thanks for the memories, have a good life, and best wishes from Tittyfuck.
Thats fucking classic, myassholestnx.
Just spoke with Chestnutt, he's without reliable internet right now, but when he gets online, he'll check in.
In the meantime, I was wondering if you guys would be interested in opening up the site for the regulars to submit columns.
Great poem, myassholestnx. Really moistened my taint.
As far as somebody else writing, I think it will be extremely difficult to replace Dr. Chestnutt. He could really fucking rant. So, I'm just gonna beg. Please, Dr. Chestnutt, don't leave us!!!
open it up. no one will be able to match the wit and wisdom of chestnutt but who gives a fuck.
Count me in, and beg Chestnutt to get the NBA package (not the 'package' in a Mark Foley e-mail) and continue his excellent observations of our Boston Celtics. He is one of a kind.
Chestnutt no longer has time for Celticsdoom because has joined the FREE MARK FOLEY campaign. HAHAHA!!!
Is someone gonna step up and cover the Telfair story for Celtics Doom?
we need Chestnutt to come back and make one last hurrah and cover this BrokeBassy gold chain episode.
No doubt. The most annoying thing about the whole Bassy thing is the Ainge administration's immediate response: Lie about it.
"If I had been in New York, it would have been different,” he [Wyc] said. “We deal
with the press one way. We
say ‘no comment’ or we tell the truth.
Glad we gave up a lottery pick for a fucking thug.
I need to get Chestnutt's password to open up the main page to anyone who wants to write an article - please be patient. Thanks.
This is post #68. I once asked a guy to do a 68, he do me and I do him one later.
don't look now, but you guys are famous
http://slamonline.com/online/200...eltics-preview/
since I'm here, when in Rome...
"69, awww yeah, giggidy giggidy giggidy"
so Chestnutt has time for the big boys but can't offer us anything more than a few IM's about teenage pages?
when are we going to open up the site to tittyfuck, anon and all the rest?
Dr. Chestnutt is in fine form. Love the "Fabolous" comment.
Anybody hear last game when Tommy said Rondo was a better point guard than Telfair? (Telfair was a better 2.) Tommy must have lost his talking points memo.
Tommy's not buying or selling the bullshit this year. He's made some huramphs and sighs this preseason about Shithead Tony and is already quetioning Coc's lineup vascillations. He must know that Ainge and Coc will be gone before May.
We can only hope.
It's a shame they weren't gone before Willy May. Glad to see the Doctor's still his old self, come on, Doctor, give us one of your columns for old times sake, or I might have to spray the old bag with some au naturel body perfume tonight, aka a fart.
Commenting by HaloScan
