What's up with the wizznutzz message board? Can we take our good time there with a permanent doom thread?
It's a sad commentary to say that I've gotten more enjoyment out of watching Will Roberts make an ass of himself than following the team. Doc's rotations are like snowflakes: no two are alike and I'm already investing all my hopes in a high lottery pick next year. In fact, I agree with you, Dr. let's have a fire sale, clean house, and see if we can get multiple lottery picks in the upcoming draft. Twenty years of misery is more than enough, we have a shot at getting some real help with a couple of top ten picks, trade Pierce, trade Wally, and let's build a team that can win it all for years to come.
Psychological/physical profile of Will Roberts: Single caucasian male, age 30. An already balding endomorph. Still lives with his parents, tried it on his own once with disastrous consequences. Occupation: day shift line manager at Wendys. Still a virgin, his reference to bloggers of this site as cunts showing an unfamiliarity with this term. A serial masturbater, takes matters into his own hands thrice daily. Inflated sense of self worth, as evidenced by his initial revelation that two minutes of his time has great value, then invests great quantities of time in spamming. If an army of Will Roberts had defended the Alamo, we'd all be speaking Spanish right now. The type of guy that sticks his finger up his ass, and then asks anybody that will listen to him to take a sniff of the hot date he had last night. He and the Old Bag deserve each other.
LOL, welcome to my world - you know you've hit the big time when people start attacking you
The Web is full of morons who believe that Ainge is an underappreciated genius and that the rebuilding project will be an unadultereated success if folks will just wait a decade or so for all the kids to develop into Hall of Famers.
Hard to pin it down to Gant.
Due to popular demand and such an accurate psychological profile.....I have returned!!!
I think it's funny that this blog has finally managed to answer an age old question once and for all: Who is the biggest douchebag in the world with the smallest cock alive?
I mean, Will, I know you think this 33 win team + Telfair is destined for great things, but seriously, you've spent damn near 6 hours spamming Chestnut's blog in the past week. Eat a dick, grow up.
As for the team, everything is the same as it has been since Pitino. We're looking at the 10th fucking pick for the what seems like the 10th fucking year in a row. 5 of the first 7 December games are on the road, and hopefully the loses pile up and the team's collective spirit is crushed enough for them to cruise to a top 3 pick.
Your mother must be proud...
I agree with EJ. Little has changed since the Pitino era. However, the Celts are in first place in the Atlantis Division. Whoohoo! Make room for banner #17.
Is it time to panic yet? Is everyone in the Atlantic Division tanking it? Could we end up with a losing record and out of the lottery? The worst of all worlds.
Interesting thought, boilpopper. I hadn't considered that the others teams could be tanking too. Imagine if the Nets, who already have Kidd, Carter, and Jefferson, get another top pick. This whole season could amount to a race to the bottom, a race the Celts are somehow, inexplicably, losing, even though I thought they were a lock.
I was thinking the exact same thing.
I don't think the Nets are tanking though, they've had a bit of a tough road schedule.
myassholestnx, as always, you are RIGHT ON.
Willie, anon, BP - Philly should be in the race to the bottom as well. As much as that Gasol rumor seemed Celtics front-office driven, perhaps Jerry West is of the mind to rebuild entirely, win the lottery, obtain another low lottery pick, and go into the next five years with Oden/Gay and whoever he can grab after #1 as his core. As much as I like Gasol, it's not a terrible idea for them.
Interesting how Delonte has gone from untradeable to "most likely to be moved" in 13 games. I'll be shocked if he, our #1 and Jefferson are still all the team by the trading deadline.
We're actually favored over the Nets tonight in USA Today by 2 1/2 points. I'm confused.
Hey, Will.
Are you that dumb fuck that posts under the name Wigglestrue on CelticsBlog and Real GM?
He seems like the leading candidate for the pus-brained simpleton who's been spamming this blog.
Doc, just get yourself a geek to trace this fool and then nail him.
Will Roberts, if I see you on the street, I'm gonna kick the shit out of you.
Don't get me wrong, I understand the concept of a 2 for 1, but what the hell was that? 33 seconds left so you take a shot two feet behind the 3-point line while running full speed to your left?
Then on the final possession, down 3, Pierce drives, inexplicably throws the ball over the backboard - somehow it ends up in Perkins' hands who passes to Szczerbiak with about 5 seconds left and what does he do - DRIVES instead of taking the three.
If that game wasn't thrown, at least on the final two possessions, then I think the problem is that our players are just stupid.
On the other hand I loved Telfair's move on Kidd where he drove in and spun back to the foul line for a jumper. However, it seemed to really piss Kidd off as I think he had about 10 points in the next 3 minutes. It was like watching John Starks hit a couple first quarter jumpers in a row on Jordan and then start jumping up and down like he was up 15 with 2 minutes to go in game 7 - only to see Mike answer with somewhere between 40-60 points.
Also a few years back, any chance a team would look to exploit a Wally on Kidd matchup? Looks like Kidd just isn't quite the same these days. Still better than anyone we've got, but not the same as he was.
Anyway, Celts are back in a four-way tie for the 5th worst record in the league, and are also 1/2 game out of being the #3 seed. Crazy, crazy year.
Pierce fucks up the last two plays, and 61% of celtsblog think we lose close games at the end because of coaching.
Pierce friggin sucks. I don't care if it's throwing passes into the post directly to the other team, launching ill-advised 3s that bounce over the backboard and then laughing about it on the way back down the court, or simply looking like a jackass with that stupid headband he wears. He just sucks. that's my opinion. $20 million per year for this.
Ainge has 4/5ths of the payroll tied up in Pierce, Wally, Scalabrine and Ratliff.
You're doing a heckuva job Danny.
Total chaos at the end of the game. I'm still surprised it was so close. The Nets suck too.
Hey, just so you all know I ran will roberts paragraphs through a translater and it was a lengthy story about a circle jerk he took part in while in college. The big culmination was a wicked game of ookie cookie where his "roomate" was the loser and had to take down the man seed.
I'm actually suprised you've had this much time to spam the blog. Considering the amount of time it takes to get out of you normal position (on your back face over the edge of the bed mouth open), to a computer and then to actually put must put a serious hinderance on your business in the world of man face fucking.
Seriously. grow the fuck up and stop wasting our time you jabroni.
Rondo buried! Marcus Williams the true draft steal and Jerky creams his UConn sweat pants.
Also, our starting power forward has more assists than our starting point guard. Paul Pierce is Mr. Clutch only in the way we call bald men "curly." Can't wait to head back east and actually watch this crap. At least Greg Oden is getting into the spirit by sitting out with a wrist injury. He'll fit in well.
Great night all around, former UConn standout has a solid game (he's lost weight and added three point range), Rondo can't find the court because he can't find his shot, and Pierce fucks everything up at the end.
Banner night for the CelticsDoomIsRight movement.
You know what now bothers me about the Celtics (a very long list, indeed), is the total lack of good college players. As a big college b-ball fan, it sucks that the Celtics only have one player who I followed and liked in college, Gomes. The only other player who was fun to watch in college was Wally, but only in the look-at-the-white-guy-at-the-small-school-play-
well.
For instance, I watch the Bobcats, with Okofer, Morrison and even May, and I can’t help but like them. There’s something rewarding about liking a player in college, and watching him develop in the NBA. Much more so than a high schooler fumbling around for a couple years.
Yeah, the college guys are generally winners too. It's why Gomes, who thus far has to be the biggest bright spot of the season, seems like the only young big man with a clue.
Jerky, you'd be shocked to know that I've taken a liking to college football. It's my new Saturday thing.
Hell, we all need other distractions instead of investing ourselves too deeply in this team. What a hearbreaker! Has there ever been an NBA team that could not even get a shot off with 17 seconds left to go in the game. Dr., you have college football, Will Roberts has impersonating an ass, and I have tittyfucking, oh, the joys of diversification.
First of all, my name really isn't Chris Rocker, if anyone was wondering. Secondly, I get more chuckles out of reading through one thread here than I do over the gazillions of posts at Celtics blog. Celtics blog is pretty much annoying me right now because of the relentlessly upbeat, 1984 mentaility that pervades over there, even as they call for Docs head. I HATE CELTICS BLOG!!! there, I said it. Whoo, I feel better.
tittyfuck, if only you could tittyfuck Will Roberts, then we'd have all our bases covered. But don't diversify away from this blog, we'd be lost without you.
Welcome Mr.Rocker. We are the land of misfit posters and hapless spam victims. I love Celticsblog, but we tend to embody the yin/yang of Celtics fans, which continues with Jeff's revelation that he's a big Studio 60 fan, whereas I am a 30 Rock fan. But anyway, welcome to our infrequently updated home.
Gee, great choice tonight. Another three hour migraine with Coc and company, or an early beddy-by with the Old Bag. Shame I don't have a third choice, like waterboarding or such. Last night the Old Bag said to me that the first time we were "together" I couldn't wait to get her socks off. I said to her "Tonight, you'll have time to knit yourself a pair."
Doc,
Heh - I don't really hate Celts blog. I'm just mad that someone over there called me a "pinhead" of all things for saying Pierce was a ballhog. Anyway, I just called his mama a slut (o.k. a slob - I didn't want to get censored) and left it at that. Jeff does a great job over there it's it's amazing how much material gets cranked out. But, it's "different" over here. Anyway, keep "up" the good work 
Chris
thanks CR. Don't censor yrself, I don't care if people rip Celticsblog. Someone there once called me "the biggest idiot on the internet," so I hear you. I just happen to think Jeff is one of the nicer people on the planet, and I try to distinguish between him and the morons who post on his site. But that's just me. I don't care what anyone says here, who they rip on (myself included), what they call people out on, etc, etc, as long as it's not hundreds of spam entries.
As for Pierce being a ballhog, you're goddamn fucking right about that.
Myassholestnx, we need the old bag to infiltrate the dance squad so all of your miseries will be combined.
this is my expression of disgust with the Celtics....thank's for providing such a fantastic medium for me to be able to do this! It's really helping!
Will Roberts wrote:
"Someone there once called me "the biggest idiot on the internet,"
No kidding? I wonder why they would say something like that...
Ok, I'm ready to admit I underestimated Doc and Danny. Here I thought these two bumbling idiots didn't have plan to take this team to the next level (which would be one rung from the bottom) and then...and then...Pierce starts rubbing his elbow. Brilliant! Pierce is going to take a season ending elbow injury! That'll leave the Celts with, I predict, about a 7-75 season (they'll still probably beat the knicks a couple times) and a great chance for a top pick. Way to go, Doc and Danny, the Laurel and Hardy of the NBA!
Anyhow, for the time being, credit where credit is due: the Celts are almost as good as the Raptors.
Coc and Danny, that pair, don't they remind you
Of a modern day Laurel and Hardy
Who in the world would have guessed we'd have longed
For the days of Obie and McCarty
"Wait till next year", those magical words
Giving the C's fans a reason
To hang in again, as we surrender this year
Fifteen games into the season
I mean, isn't it worth the price of admission
To see Scalabrine more
Than Gerald or Al or the other C's 'youngs'
That have to "earn" their way onto the floor
Now this site AND c-blog are united
In calling for Coc Rivers head
As if this circumcision by itself
Can bring the Celtic team back from the dead
There comes a time in every man's life
When he has to look himself square in the face
It's beyond time for the Celtics to look in that mirror
Or get used to enjoying last place
No more quick fixes with the latest white stiff
And a coach who hasn't a clue
No more cosmetic surgery
A major operation is long overdue
Trade Pierce and Wally, get a new coach
And hope the ping pong balls fall our way
With our youngs, Durant, and Oden
At long last, the dawn of a new day
We can post about how great the team looked
And take pride in the C's shirts we've donned
This all must take place this season
Or else we've had another year of being lepra"conned".
Tittyfuck, that's fucking beautiful. You have once again shown why, despite spammers and relative obscurity, this is the best Celtics blog.
Will Roberts struck again and I accidentally deleted a couple real posts. I think Boilpopper's and one of mine. Sorry BP.
agree, agree, agree on the absence of college players making the C's just about unwatchable....I'm pretty sure the collective IQ of Perk, Big Al, and Gerald wouldn't get you into a college PE program, and it shows on repeated missed defensive assignments (Al), mindless fouls, (Perk), and the total inablility to run plays and carry the ball on every possesion (Gerald) unless the play is to stand around the perimeter waiting for a pass. amazing that the knicks, cats and raptors all look polished and, this hurts, intelligent, when playing us.
ouch.
oh, by the way, ten wins looking pretty good bet right now
You're right, ten wins. I'll add that while the knock on Perk has been his stupid fouls, right now Perk just ain't getting it done, regardless of fouls. He's averaging less than 5 points and 6 rebounds while starting every game, and he's only getting 3.5 fouls per game. It may be possible that Perk just plain sucks. But, according to Danny's (PR) strategy, we can't expect him to be good until he is good.
At some point, youth and inexperience has to stop being used as an excuse for being a bunch of losers. Alas, it apears that my dream of seeing at least one of the young guys assert themselves as a valuable asset to the team will not be realized this season.
Just another wasted, losing season. Currently tied for the 5th worst record in the league. Let's tank!!
Hoopshype reports that Wyc sent a reporter named Sam Smith an unsolicited e-mail that says unequivically that Paul Pierce will not be traded. We apparently won't even explore what could be had for Pierce. Incompetence from top to bottom in this organization, a fish rots from the head down. So, let's build a running team around the non-running Pierce, as he ballhogs at the end of every close game. Don't take a chance at getting a franchise player like Oden or Durant in the upcoming draft. Fuck Wyc, Danny, and Coc, stay the course, we are intercoursed.
This team is even below the dignity of Celtics Doom.
Assplowed again.
But God, our kids have great potential.
Stay the course!!!!!!!!!
Ahhh, bullshit.
This team can't be bothered to defend the pick and roll, but they're going all out to defend Scalabrine. Did we make him cry by booing him or something?
Give me $3M a year for doing nothing, and I'll give you my home address so you can come over and boo the fuck out of me whenever you want.
You'd think the front office and coaches would be spending more time trying to figure a way out of the mess they've made. Instead they're doing a public relations campaign to defend Brian Scalabrine.
Maybe if Scal hadn't taken Danny's (and Jiri's) #44 he wouldn't be receiving the brunt of the boos that should be aimed at Danny.
For three million dollars Scalabrine should be stuck with the Old Bag. When I married Mrs. Right, I didn't know her first name was Always.
Unreal. Anything worse would be better. Time to put PP on the shelf? Just like myassholestnx and the old bag on a slow night, we must "aim for the bottom."
Boilpopper, I saw that thing about Wyc sending personal emails about not trading Pierce. The level of denial has grown Rumsfeldian. What the fuck do these guys think can happen, even in a best case scenario? In three years we become a bubble playoff team?
Scalaburine is the white Waltah minus Tommy's brain dead boosterism. The PR flacks step in and now the 79 people who, not content to merely waste their lives going to Celtics games, still actually read about the team in the papers, might wait until the 3rd quarter to boo poor baby Brian. As you all know, we have discussed this in the past! Boo!!!!!!! BOO!!!!!
Ps - I'll be making the trek east next week and will finally be able to watch a few games and do some recaps.
Well, I can't think of anything funny to so, so I just sit here and giggle at the camera.
Other than that, I was lucky enought to not see last nights game. Wrt the public relations push for "Scals", I do think he's been playing better recently. But, if his improved play is the best thing we have to look forward to, we have major problems. And, lo and behold - we have major problem. I agree it would've been good if Pierce were out for he season. Then the kids could develop and we lose all he games anyway. Best of both worlds.
Epic Game tonight against the Grizzlies.
The game could come down to who hustles more, Scalabrine or Cardinal.
Rondo really is on track for rookie of the year honors. Yet another first round gem found by Danny Ainge, preseason all star, benched in favor of a guy that can't dribble with both hands and is bitching about playing time and his role with the team but somehow he's being sold as a future all star after 2 plus less than stellar years in the league where he's often injured. Delonte West, a poor man's JR Bremer has beaten out future hall of famer Rajon Rondo.
Just two weeks ago, a moderator on the Celtics Nation board said that Rondo will be as good as Chris Paul in a year, two at most.
And they wonder why we make fun of them.
Rondo can't shoot. Period.
If we don't get the #1 draft pick this year, we may be in for another 20 years of misery. Keep Coc, lose tonight, let's go for #1.
"Delonte West, a poor man's JR Bremer" hahahhahahahha!!! YES!
It's just been announced that PP will miss the rest of the season due to delayed ink-poisoning from the massive tatoo he showed off when he took off his shirt after losing against indiana in the playffs. He should be ok shortly after the NBA draft in 2007.
I agree with Tommy: the Celts lost this one because of the new ball. Crazy fuck.
Ok, Greg "Tony Snow" Dickerson just blamed the loss on injuries without even mentioning that Memphis was playing without its best player, the MVP of the World Championships.
Only 2 games out of first!!
Pierce has officially stopped playing hard.
Maybe Simmons can dub Pierce face - befuddled indifference to your 9th turnover of the game.
Three critical road games against fellow bottom-feeders New York, Philadelphia, and Charlotte next week. Posting an 0-3 against those teams could be huge come lottery time.
It's desperation time over at celticsblog. Man, what negativity. It's nice to read the well reasoned missives over on this site.
The Suns could be tired after their 2OT win over the Nets last night. Let's hope the Celtics don't do anything stupid tonight like winning this game.
Jim may be warming to the Iverson notion - primarily because he's so fucking sick of hearing Tony Allen analogized to Dwayne Wade, Perkins to Bill Russell and all the stupid shit on the other boards.
If we can get rid of a few of Danny's Goddam Day Care for anyone - even the rotting, fetid corpse of Drazen Petrovic - it'll at least cut down the number of young players for bandwagon Celtics fans to wax hyperbolic (and we all know that hyperbolic is Latin for "I'm a dumbshit and I don't have a fucking clue what I'm talking about) about.
Jim, for shit's sake, don't speak of yourself in the third person. You sound like Bo Jackson in grad school.
But, I agree. The Celts have to get rid of some of these young idiots, who we've stocked up for just that purpose: another famously misguided Danny Ainge trade. If Iverson can't win with Webber, Iguadala, and Dalembert, then how the hell is going to with Pierce and, well...nobody?
Whew! They had me scared there for a second.
I hate being the one to kick the comment counter past 69, but these are important times.
anyway, we trade for Iverson we lose this year's number one and we'll be fucked for the next eight years (3 years of PP/AI, five years rebuilding from that disaster). I agree with Jim that it'd be nice to ship out some of these guys simply to see them for what they are on other teams, but purging overrated guys on minimum contracts for Iverson's three years $60 million is not the solution. That said, I'd still keep Gomes and Jefferson if possible. Yes, Big Al is a retard, but he's been okay this year and a Pierce/Iverson debacle is going to need someone who can rebound, look befuddled and hold his hands up for passes that never arrive. Gomes, on the other hand, is the only truly unselfish player on the team.
But again, we have to rebuild through the draft. Through LOTTERY PICKS. Look at the Orlando Magic. One great pick in Howard, one steal in Jameer Nelson, suddenly you have a legitimate core of young players that you can build around.
Also, I really don't think Pierce/Iverson with Coc as coach is a shoo-in for the 8th seed. Even in the East. It could potentially be that bad.
enjoy the following, taken from a yahoo! sports article
"We can mesh well together," Pierce said. "Any time you have two guys at that caliber play and they play together, then things will work out."
Which caliber is that? The one that has led both teams to a combined record of 10-24? Fuck him. I hope Minni gets AI just to get Garnett off suicide watch.
I think we shoudl definetly get Iverson but we shoun't give up Green, Telfair, Rondo, Perk, Al, Powe, West, Ray, or Scal.
I'm struck by some of the crappy coaching in the NBA. We all know about Coc, but how about Lawrence Frank putting Kidd on Pierce on the last play of the game? Maybe Coc's contagious.
Ah, desperation breeds all sorts of ideas.
One fucking decent game by Fat-Ass Jefferson and he's all of a sudden an untouchable.
Gerald Green, who can't string a sentence together, is an untouchable.
Jesus, people are even waxing hyperbolic about Inmate #42.
Goddamn, Celtics basketball brings out the fucking idiots on the Internet.
Should be a fun game tonight. Celtics or Knicks: which team is more retarded?
I've been trying to figure out who the biggest fuckwit is that posts here.
Congratulations Jungle Jim!!!!! You fucking smartarse know it all cunt. No wonder they shipped your ass out of Celtics Blog.
I wonder if I should start spamming again????
Have you missed me?????????
I watched the Knicks coverage on Directv last night. Can I give a big Hamcock to the mad hatter of chatter, the multiplier and stultifier, the man who puts the color and anus into color analysis: Mr. Walt Frazier!
Hi, Will.
Do you know any words besides cunt? I doubt it. Self-loathing does that to a person.
Now, on to Celtics subjects. Jim is now officially hoping for an Iverson deal - any Iverson deal - as an early Christmas present.
I want to see the implosions on CelticsBlog and RealGM.
Buy a vibrator, Will. You'll feel better.
By the way.
I'm still laughing at your 53-win prediction this year, Wiggles, old buddy.
Will, I missed you, the Old Bag, and being stuck on an elevator with a flatulent octogenarian, in that order.
Let me add to that. Absolutely last on the list would be socializing with some of the bloggers over on Celticsblog. There are some absolute mental cases over there. I wish the Old Bag had a couple of hundred sisters, one for every one of those bufoons.
Ah, that fucking mess is good for a laugh every now and then.
But if you're looking for intelligent basketball discussion, you're not going to find any of it there.
Damn, I wish Billy King would just ship Iverson out west so we can return to being all warm and fuzzy every time one of our beloved youngsters doesn't fuck up a ballgame.
I think it might be funny to see AI come in here and really fuck up our nursery school, break Perk's dolls, tear apart Green's teddy bear, stick a "kick me" sign on Al's back, and take Telfair's lunch money.
A question:
If there are "break-out" games, as Jefferson has been credited with recently, what do we call them when he sucks, as he inevitably will?
"Break-in" games?
AHAHAHAHAHAH
Found this on CelticsBlog. I'd lay odds on this guy getting banned, but it appears he's pissed off enough to leave:
First, and last, post from someone who’s been reading this blog since the beginning of the season.
I wonder how many of you appreciate how truly unique this blog actually is.
As I tour the other blogs and sites for the great franchises and teams, I find one common denominator - an absolute demand for success. Yankees, Heat, Steelers, Notre Dame, Oklahoma - all the same. Success equals championships and losing is unacceptable.
In the two-plus months I’ve been here, I’ve found quite the opposite: An angry, oftentimes defiant acceptance of ineptitude.
I grew up with the great Celtics of Bill Russell. Rode out a couple of bad years and then loved the Dave Cowens era. Rode out a couple of bad years and then Larry Bird turned the franchise back around. Sat through some great Garden games that were absolutely electric.
Thank God for NBA TV and ESPN Classic, or those memories would be almost gone. I wonder how many of you realize that it has been almost a generation since this team was even relevant.
And I wonder how many of you care. Reading this blog has been a very sobering experience. I am no fan of Allen Iverson, but as I sit here looking at my autographed Celtic balls, the handful of game-worn jersies I have, the programs, the banners, I can only say this: You guys have convinced me that it’s over. The Celtic tradition is gone and it won’t be back.
From where I sit, this franchise doesn’t have five years to wait for Kendrick Perkins to discover a jump shot. It doesn’t have five years for Telfair to learn how to guard someone.
If the Celtics have ANY chance of recapturing the tradition, it has to happen now. It has to have ownership willing to write the checks to bring great players back to Boston. It has to have a GM astute enough to find them, and a coach creative enough to coach them. We have none.
There HAS to be an impatience for success in the great franchises, and an intolerance for anything less.
But on this blog, there’s an intolerance for anyone who doesn’t accept mediocrity. To wit: Earlier today, I ran across a very astute analogy from a poster here - that staying a failed course in any endeavor is a recipe for total failure.
Great observation. Yet, I note that poster was immediately belittled as classless by the moderator.
That’s all the proof I need to move on. This blog exists in a parallel universe I want no further part of.
Nice win over the Philly 38ers.
Anyone ready to predict an Atlantic Division title?
Hahahahahaha.
Dr. et. al,
I haven't been watching the Celtics as I've had a moment of lucidity where I realized it was the physcological equivalent of Chinese water-torture. You keep waiting for the up-and-coming "talent" to reveal itself and then when the lose, you wonder if the is talent there at all.
So, instead of been spending my time banging the baby-sitter like a screen door. Ok, that's a lie - we don't even have a baby, let alone a sitter - but I saw it in an email joke and liked the sound of it.
I've also refrained from checking the Celtics Blog. The Celtics games are bad enough - why compound the pain and suffering by trudging through the verbal reflection of the disasters the games turn out to usually be? The Celtics fucking blog - I can't put my finger on it, but there is just something about that site the puts my nerves on edge. Maybe its just the sheer volume of posts, I dunno.
Yeah, reading that blog reminds me of another old Chinese saying: Opinions are like assholes...everybody's got one, and they all stink.
Yes. I'm ready to predict that the Celtics win the Atlantis Division. All the other teams stink like the old bag's twat. And the more the Celts have injuries (Perk, Wally) the more Doc is able to figure out who should be starting and "earning" the most minutes. I'm hoping Telfailure, who's logged two goose eggs in the past three games, will get injured next. Then, I think the Celts can even be competitive with most of the middle-of-the-pack teams.
Has a lottery pick ever been traded for such a worthless barrel of spit before?
I don't know what has more hot tips- celticsblog or a fag convention.
Pretty amazing how a mention of a trade can be a great motivator. Also, injuries forcing Coc to give guys some real minutes. At any rate, the team has been enjoyable to watch lately, I have absolutely no idea at this point what kind of season we are in for.
Yeah, Doc's "rotation by natural selection" is really working.
Dr. Chestnutt, were you going to give us some game wrapups this week? I thought you were traveling back East. Or was that just for a "Massachusetts Wedding"?
Yep, a couple of real dead asses have awakened due to the threat of exile.
Nice move.
Now, let's see if they keep playing hard or if they go back to their shitty play of the past.
In the meantime, let's see if we can dump Gerald Green's 25 IQ on Jerry West for Gasol.
Do that and who knows how good this team could be?
Celticsblog has a poll: "Would you trade Al Jefferson for Pau Gasol."
And get this-- its No 71%, Yes 29%
I don't think it's too crazy really. Over the past five games Al is averaging 16.6 points and 11.2 rebounds. He's only twenty-one and if he's capable of playing like this for a full season, then he might be as valuable as Gasol at a much lower price. The only problem is he must "earn minutes" in Doc's "system," which it seems can only be done in those all-important, highly classified practice sessions we keep hearing about. And Doc, being the complete fucking idiot that he is, will probably put that fucking oversized blocking dummy Kendrick Perkins back in when his bunions get better.
If five games could be construed as any level of consistency, perhaps.
But they cannot - although I have no doubt whatsoever that the raft of Danny defenders will try frantically to declare them so. They are a five-game oasis amidst what has been an underachieving career.
Breakouts don't happen over two weeks, and they certainly cannot be identified on the day or week they begin. They tend to be best identified retrospectively.
I'll take Gasol over Jefferson.
But ... I'd prefer to see if we could pry Green away from those scintillating Boston area Mensa meetings and ship him as the centerpiece.
West reportedly is fascinated with Green, so if we can get him to interrupt his atom-splitting work and move to Memphis, perhaps West would take him over Al.
I see that CelticsBlog also has a statement from its leader that it welcomes all opinions.
Bullshit.
Well, another good night for Jefferson. He's still on the radar.
I'll concede with Jefferson's recent play he's looking better, but Gasol has the greater pedigree. Right now I'd take Gasol, but ask me again in a couple weeks.
Ah screw it, put me on the Jefferson bandwagon for now.
Al's been great. He has a knack for being in position to receive the ball (from Pierce mostly because the point guards suck). And because he's on the Celts and not the opposing team, we don't have to listen to Tommy saying, "Jefferson's spending a weeklong vacation in the lane, Geesh!)
The perfect move would be to trade The Dolt, along with the necessary garbage, for Gasol and pair him with Jefferson inside.
True, JJ, that would be a good move, but even Memphis isn't that stupid. It'll be interesting to see what happens when Gomes comes back and then opposing teams must deal with a PF that they actually might want to cover, as opposed to Raef "Waltah" Scalabrine, who just hangs around the three point line, irrelevant as a Danny Ainge press conference.
They might be. The new owner professes to cut payroll once he buys the club.
Plus, West loves The Dolt.
Gasol and Mike Miller for The Dolt, Theo's corpse, West, Allen, and whatever else it takes.
Amen JJ
Count me driving the badwagon.......
You know what's kinda funny? If Portland hadn't picked Telfailure with the 13th pick in the 2004 draft, Asswipe Ainge probably would have picked him instead of Al Jefferson at #15.
How about this... if Perk doesn't go on injured reserve Al never gets the chance to do what he's doing... then Al gets traded and we all find out the trade is even worse than all our other bad trades put together. This may end up happening to Gerald Green. Play these guys, Coc, let's see what they've got.
Not just Perk. If Kandi was healthy he would have started. Doc is an idiot.
It's highly unlikely that Green can put up the kind of numbers Al has - way too unpolished.
It's fun to watch the message board idiots come in their pants every time Green dunks the basketball, but he can't lock down an opponent, he can't dribble for shit and he couldn't get his sorry ass into Oklahoma State University, where a pulse is the only requirement for admission - and a big-ass liver to play for the Drunk, Eddie Sutton.
Wings are a dime a dozen. I have no qualms about dealing The Dolt.
I'm not willing to get too excited about Al just yet. His rebounding stats look amazing and his 7-game tear has been very encouraging but I'm going to need to see more than two weeks before I'm willing to believe that the Boston Celtics have actually developed a young player. What happens when Kandi, Perkins, and Theo come back? Do they chip into Al's minutes because of his lack of defense? Or what if he starts fouling like a bonehead again or hurts himself? Is he really going to play 35mpg with everyone healthy?
Trust me, ANYONE can look good for two or three weeks. How do you think I married the Old Bag?
myassholestnxduzyrs, you fucking crack me up.
BWAHAHAHAHAHA.
myasshole, you cracked me up, too.
EJ, old buddy, that kind of realism will get you trashed on Real GM and banned from CelticsBlog.
Those stupid shits are in full "we told you so; don't trade any of the kids for anyone" mode right now.
But I agree, EJ. Turnarounds aren't finalized over seven games, or even over half a season.
Al warrants hanging onto, but we can deal Brain Surgeon No. 5 tomorrow for inside help as far as I'm concerned.
Put Gasol on this roster, and you might be able to watch this team night after night without grabbing a handful of pubic hair and yanking it out.
Agreed JJ. Keep Al, but trading one of our wings, including Green, for someone like Pau could make this team very competitive. It looks like we're playing our way out of any quality big man help in the draft.
And.. if we cannot get it on the draft and theres any chance Memphis bites a Perk, West, Wally , first for Pau Trade
Pull the trigger
I wish my cock was bigger.
Pierce out 2-3 weeks with Odenitis. First good move Danny has made in four years.
It'll be a nice acid test for the "our kids are great" crowd.
If they are actually progressing, then I expect to be at or around .500 when Pierce comes back.
If not, this season is over.
Put up or shut up time for the Day Care Clan.
I got my first taste of live Celtics action this season at the Golden State game. I noticed a few things:
1) The mysterious and rare play known as the backdoor screen resulted in layups on four straight possessions in the second quarter for the Warriors. The man in the middle providing shotblocking help? Al Jefferson. He actually got taken out for the last six minutes or so, presumably due to his inability to drop guys like Dunleavy from getting to the rim.
2) What the hell was Al thinking when he gave Richardson a running clothesline into the first row while he was shooting a three from the corner?
3) Tony Allen is a piece of work. All game he is bull rushing the basket, then one play he gets the ball wide open on the wing with a clear lane to the basket and he decides to unleash his midrange game. Guess how that worked out.
4) Al Jefferson is a terrible free throw shooter. This resulted in a loss against the Warriors, and could continue to haunt the Celtics moving forward.
5) Sebastian Telfiar - Is it safe to say that's he's been completely worthless all year to this point? Has he done anything? Has he penetrated into the paint more than 10 times all season? I just love seeing him camped in the corner while Pierce is triple teamed with the shotclock winding down and no one on the team is moving.
and finally,
6) Why no timeout on the final play? I don't know what was funnier, a) The Celtics play with 24 seconds left, b) that both teams called timeouts with 0.6 seconds left before a jump ball when it would've defied the laws of Physics for anything to happen, or c) That as soon as the final buzzer sounded, Tony Allen tried to call timeout.
Did they really have a timeout left at the end? You gotta be kidding me.
I wish my cock was bigger.
Greg Cockerson calling the game tonight in place of Tommy. Merry Christman, one and all.
Test number one for the greatest collection of young talent in the NBA=flunked.
Assplowed by the Sixers.
Let the alibis flow on the message boards.
That Fucking Idiot Greg Dickerson is going to fill in for Tommy! WTF? Who the fuck wants to listen to that idiot? Does anybody, I mean ANYBODY, even like that guy? Was Hitler unavailable?
I just wanna say, the kids suck hard, out loud, probably forever and don't belong in the D league or in Europe. No wonder they didn't go to college.
Jeesh.
Defense? beyond awful.
I kinda enjoy reading RealGM. The posters there are just stupid - "No way we lose to Philly," followed by "Pierce is out, what did you expect?"
Sincere stupidity is better than the militant bullshit on the other board.
I love the posts that say now that we're forced to play the young guys it's going to increase their trade value exponentially. Huh? What could you get right now for Telfair, DWest, et. al.? We're due for a break, hopefully in this years draft.
This is a great opportunity to showcase the young guys. Anybody need a starting point guard who averages 5 points and 4 assists and plays defense so poorly that he must be replaced at the end of close games? Oh, also, he's a really "great kid" except for the gun-on-the-plane thing and a minor incident involving a rapper, a $50,000 gold chain, and a handgun.
Agggh. Someone brought up Telfailure again.
Has there ever been any more stupid shit than trading a lottery pick for that walking piece of dung in an NBA uniform?
Ainge should be fired - for that.
My favorite on RealGM is actually some sort of Celtics employee who continually contends that some of the kids have "proven" that they will be parts of a winning team.
They ought to recruit him over at the HappyBlog.
Uh, dipshit, they're not winning any games by themselves, not even over the Sixers.
But they've proven they're NBA winners?
The winner, if you will, is on the pine right now with a bad foot. The rest of them? Ugh.
Amazing lack of logic.
Pierce's injury should redefine the term "good stats, bad team". You know what I mean, you put together a shitty enough team and all of a sudden Terry Catledge is averaging 19ppg, or Lionnel Simmons averaged 18 and 9 for a season, or Dana Barros averages 20 and 9 and the Celtics immediately sign him to a long-term contract. I haven't even read realgm since Pierce went down and I can only bring myself to read the other blog about once a month, but I'd imagine that people are gushing about 20 points or maybe even 14 rebounds and ignoring the fact that the Boston Celtics just lost at home by 15 to a team that started Alan Henderson and Kevin Ollie..
I guess my expectations shouldn't have been too high, Boston started Gerald "Howard the Duck" Green, Telfailure, who by the sounds of it produced another gem, and Inmate $42.
Currently in a position to pick 6th, which is juuuuuuuuust about where it's usually too late to land an impact player.
Merry Christmas! And during the holiday season, just remember Danny is a genius who has a vision!
Yeah, it's hilarious.
The same ass-clowns who were guaranteeing a win over that Ollie-Henderson juggernaut are now foisting up one excuse after another for the "promise" shown in the Philly loss.
This is all done, of course, under the cover of a group of fuckhead moderators who Jeff Clark must have loaned RealGM - i.e. - be optimistic and agree with us or be gone.
Great entertainment, RealGM.
T'was the night before Christmas
I need forty winks
I don't know much about nothing
Except... my asshole stinks
And so do the Celtics
Oh, I'm trying to be civil
I gotta watch them 'cause the Old Bag
Is Missionary Impossible
I wonder where the Doctor is
He's turned into a ghost
Hell, I don't even know
If he's on the west or east coast
I miss his pithy musings
On things green and white
And like him, I have opinions
On how to change our teams horrible plight
In fact, this team NEEDS a Doctor
Who can give it a kick in the butt
These housecalls made via internet
By the good hand of Doctor Chestnutt
So on behalf of all of your posters
Please allow me very humbly to say
Thanks for your past composisitions
I hope more will be on the way
All, get on your knees and thank the Almighty
That you've been blessed with a wonderful life
For unlike me (dammit), none of you have
A fuckin' Old Bag for a wife
Merry Christmas
That's beautiful, myassholestnxduzyrs
Merry Christmas to you and your old bag.
Someone at that other blog wrote:
LuckyNumber07 Says:
December 25th, 2006 at 8:47 pm
Merrry Holidays everyone. Even Dr. Chestnutt.
Pretty good for the other blog, with all the time those idiots have to spend working up excuses for the latest defeat.
Youth movement= 0-2.
Couldn't guard a chair. For God's sake, Dickau would be a defensive stopper on this roster.
Tonight at 10:30, live from Los Angeles, Sebustian Telfailure and Rajon Rondo star in an all-new episode of "Lost"
"but I'd imagine that people are gushing about 20 points or maybe even 14 rebounds and ignoring the fact that the Boston Celtics just lost at home by 15 to a team that started Alan Henderson and Kevin Ollie.."
Yes. There are people who are now sure that Jefferson is close to Dwight Howard as a player.
I guess a proper food analogy for this team would be Brunswick Stew; a collection of all kinds of shit with no one ingredient being dominant. Man, oh man, are we due for a break, like the #1 pick in '07.
Good point, Scintan.
Which, of course, reinforces my long-held conviction that computers are too fucking cheap.
Danny's Day Care=0-3.
The cure for a losing streak is to play the storied, great Boston Celtics youth movement.
Next up, Bassy Telfailure and Inmate #42 reprise the great roles in "Dumb and Dumber: The NBA Sequel."
Interesting discussion on the other blog about which Celtics point guard sucks worst. It's a tough call: they're all so horrible. I still give it to Sebustion Telfailure for being so overhyped.
I just googled "We coulda had" Brandon Roy and saw that he was back. I wonder if anyone has ever been the 3rd string point guard for two different franchises that finished with the worst record in the NBA in consecutive years. By the end of the season, Sebustian could make history!!
Also it appears that Dr. Chestnutt's preseason prediction that Rajon Rondo would have an Oriene Greene-esque flameout might have been too generous. He just, never played well, ever. And it's true, the herpie hasn't been much better. When did he forget how to shoot? Boston currently with the 5th worst record in the league, hopefully Gasol (likely) and Andre (unlikely) can get their teams on a roll and move Boston into a position to pick top 3.
But obviously Pierce will come back and the team will win a few too many games leaving us all devestated..