Far too many have that "External Locus of Control." And you are right, a therapist that doesn't help their client assume responsibility for their actions and their choices isn't worth the powder it would take to.... nah! I'm not going there.

Cheers, and pat yourself on the back for a great post.
GMRoper | Email | Homepage | 04.27.05 - 1:53 pm | #

But sometimes cogntive therapy works. What do you think of Dr Laura? I think she's talented, having been to my share of shrinks. A woman called in the other day wanting to know how to stop procrastinating everything. She said, How do I understand why I do this?

Dr Laura said, You don't have to understand. That desire can be a way of continuing to not change your behavior. You have to make a commitment to be uncomfortable.

By the way, if you look up Christina Sommer's new book, One Nation Under Therapy, on Amazon, check out the outraged shrinks panning the book.
Jeff | Email | Homepage | 04.27.05 - 2:25 pm | #

The first time I saw the word "victimology" was a new low...in fact, I quit working with battered women in part because it went from being a grass-roots community organization to a nationally funded victim generator. The women who succeeded in either leaving or changing the dynamic in their relationships were those who saw themselves as having some responsibility. Children are victims; adults are participants.

OTOH...there does always seem to be another 'hand'...John Steiner pointed out the mafia-like quality of parts of the personality that gang up on the person who finds himself desperately wanting to change and yet unable to do so...probably like Freud's Eros/Thanatos divide.

Catholicism got it about right: you have to be as wise as a serpent and as innocent as a dove when dealing with your own psyche. Nothing can be taken for granted, least of all our own penchant for evil.

The analysis of a schmuck follows the old IT line: 'garbage in, garbage out.' I worked for a brilliant lay analyst once. She was one of the most compassionate and insightful clinicians I ever saw. Yet she went home everyday and was bullied unmercifully by her spouse, who was full of envy for her intelligence and beauty. That was *after* her own years of analysis...

BTW, my experience with her got me over the idea that domestic violence was mostly kept going by economic problems -- ie, the 'victim' couldn't leave. In her case, she could've. It was the shame of leaving that kept her there.

Idea: perhaps it is shame that keeps most maladaptive behavior in place.
dymphna | Email | Homepage | 04.27.05 - 2:54 pm | #

How long will it be before we see combination "Psychologist/Lawyer" offices where you comiserate with the victim and then sue whoever you blame?

My ex-girlfriend used to wonder at my "ability" to not get stressed out (especially since at that time my financial house of cards was tumbling down). But my reasoning was that there was no use worrying about things beyond my control. All I could do was to do the things I COULD do. And try to actually enjoy other parts of my life.

For example, she had this idea to have a picnic on the living room floor. We got some imitation crab meat, some cocktail sauce, cheese, a bottle of wine, and some tuna for the cat and for two hours we just talked. She didn't believe me when I told her that those two hours weighed more than all the job worries I had in a month. Fortunately, she continued to plan these little events from time to time anyway. That was my therapy.

It's hard enough for me to trust someone I know to get inside my head. I doubt I could ever really see a professional. Maybe I'm not the most well balanced person in the world, but I'm a lot more stable than those shell-shocked Democrats in Florida.
Bryan | Email | Homepage | 04.27.05 - 3:33 pm | #

Jeff--
Cognitive therapy can work well for some people, as can dynamic psychotherapy. Psychoanalysis also works well and is extremely helpful for some people. I deal mainly with people with personality disorders whose lives are often in total chaos. I find for many of them, expecting them to control their behavior is absolutely crucial to be able to do any therapy at all. Sometimes focusing on the thoughts or feelings can be unproductive, especially if your patient is impulsive and unable to step outside himself to consider what he is feeling before he acts on it. Behavioral therapy is helpful in those cases.

I like Dr. Laura. She seems to be very up front and direct (both qualities I like). She emphasizes the personal responsibility aspect. I tend to have serious problems with treating people over the radio or phone--you have to be very careful what you say and recommend, because you don't really know what the situation really is. Some of the people who do this are the ultimate "pop" psychologists and I think they do a lot of harm. But explaining general principles and encouraging people to look at their own behaviors and understand their own motivations and feelings can be very helpful.
Dr. Sanity | Email | Homepage | 04.27.05 - 4:01 pm | #

Right, it's a tricky forum, but she does recommend psychotherapy when the person seems to need it.

It's too bad some psychotherapists have an agenda they impose on the patient. I saw a therapist when I was younger who imposed his values on the work & fostered intense dependancies in his patients, probably whether that was good for the patient or not. He discouraged me from going to a support group so I would be more dependent on him (& was upfront about this). Granted, this was a 2-way street, but he was the professional. It was a very destructive experience. I filed a complaint against him & they opened an investigation, but I backed off, as the whole process is intimidating to a young inexperienced person. I probably should have seen it thru
Jeff | Email | Homepage | 04.27.05 - 7:14 pm | #

I recently discovered your site and read it daily. I really appreciate seeing this clear explanation of the role of personal responsibility and concept that we cannot change what is unconscious in ourselves. I first encountered these ideas about 8 years ago in a body of spiritual study called the Pathwork. Pathwork covers a much broader range of issues and for me the study has been an enlightening confluence of spiritual study and psychotherapy. The Pathwork material can be accessed at www.pathwork.org

Thank you for sharing your insight and perspective.
nancyb | Email | Homepage | 04.27.05 - 7:30 pm | #