As you note, it is one thing for a therapist to pay attention to what issues he or she brings into the therapy; it is quite another to forget simple human decency and gratitude. The sickness of the soul that is present in these "peace" activists is obvious to everyone.
I think that to a very large extent, modern "progressives" are people who are unable to feel the emotion of gratitude. They can't appreciate their country; they can't appreciate the accomplishments of those of earlier generations; they can't appreciate those members of their current generation who show unusual courage or skill.
I think there is something about the current educational system--especially graduate education--that tends to mass-produce people with this orientation.
David Foster said: "I think there is something about the current educational system--especially graduate education--that tends to mass-produce people with this orientation."
David, that seems especially true right here in the People's Republic of Ann Arbor, home to the University of Michigan, school of hundreds of thousands of "Liberal" arts students. Bush Derangement Syndrome runs rampant in the town, as many deranged individuals have "Impeach Bush" signs on their lawns (replacing their former "Peace" and "No War" signs).
In Ann Arbor, the mayor and city council are all Democrats, and they're anti-development beyond all belief. They try to block any new home building outside the city limits, and then when developers try to build something inside the city limits, they try to limit that too. I happen to live in the "Old West Side" where the Historical Commission even tries to regulate what color you can paint your house. Socialism run amuck!
I've long been baffled by folks badly needing help, but only would accept it under their own terms and direction-- that by which their situation became so dire. My momma used to say, 'Beggars can't be choosers.' I guess beggars are more sophisticated these days.
You've summed up the left:
Always biting the hand that feeds them, and feeding the mouths that bite them.
Or, in the simple terms of Melanie Klein:
Envy and gratitude are inversely related.
Great post, Dr. Sanity. I was waiting for your diagnosis of their ingratitude and the refusal to say they were rescued. I fear that the "they were released" meme will take hold and already some of the left are arguing that, because the captors had fled, they were technically released.
The other thing that drives me crazy is the way that violence and force are indistinguishable for these people.
Thus the use of force to protect the innocent is dropped into the same category as violence motivated by revenge.
>>...the left are arguing that, because the captors had fled, they were technically released.>>
Where did you see that the captors had fled? I got the impression that they simply weren't _there_. In fact, it occured to me that it sounded like they might have been at the mosque at prayers. I certainly don't know that - don't even know what I read that made me think that - but it sure would be ironic!
Most MSM reports include the fact that the captors were not present, only the hostages. They speculate as to whether they fled. Some have even posed that they were paid a ransom of some sort, though that has been vigorously denied.
Wow, talk about perfect timing! I feel into the same trap recently as you described here! I don't want to get into details here (you can click on my link here if you care to read it), but it's amazing how I slowly became the "enemy" rather than the "ally", if you will!
"There is no real difference in her mind between someone trying to help her; and someone trying to hurt her. She had found a way to make both actions validate her warped and rather paranoid view of the world"
I'm not accusing anybody of being paranoid or psychotic, but that's exactly what I've come to conclude myself since that is the way it played itself out in the end.
My question is, though, do we just write them off as hopeless or are we missing something that can make them "see the light"?
Let me clarify something...
I said: "I'm not accusing anybody of being paranoid or psychotic, but that's exactly what I've come to conclude myself since that is the way it played itself out in the end."
I meant to say: "I'm not accusing anybody of being paranoid or psychotic. But my senario played out as if there is no real difference in they're mind between someone trying to help them; and someone trying to hurt them."
Yes, but to use the old phrase: Just because you're not paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.
Does it apply? Inquiring minds want to know.
An excellent analogy, doctor. On the psychological side, I have often likened this sort of behavior to rape: some are only satisfied if they can make you give them something (such as with a patient rights attorney), not if it is given freely. I wonder if that applies in the political side of this equation as well.
Horrid thought.
You are a fantastic writer!
Amen. And to add a bit:
If the activists acknowledge the kidnappers active choice, they must acknowledge their own. If they hold the terrorists responsible, they must hold themselves responsible and that cannot happen. Their safety would be threatened--to imagine that they were free to choose their destiny all along and didn't see it! To see the Iraqis choosing their destiny would be fatal to their own worldview. A death to self. Their number one need (according to Maslow) is survival. Challenging this belief threatens it.
You can never do enough for ungracious 'victims'.
Even if they were wealthy, they would still consider themselves victims, blinded by their own hatred.
I am reminded of Terry Treadwell who went to live among bears in Alaska and was ultimately killed by a bear. His videotapes were assembled into the documentary Grizzly Man, which showed he didn't have a clue about the dangerous situations he created by being among those bears. The bears were giving clear signals of danger that Mr. Treadwell didn't acknowledge.
Maybe there should be a Treadwell Award in the spirit of the Darwin Award.
Being a layman with an interest in psychology, it's amazing to me how one in the profession survives types like this.
Courage, and thanks for sharing this story -- it reminded me of Scott Peck's book on evil, _People of the Lie_ believe it is called.
>>They speculate as to whether they fled.>>
We may both have been wrong...here's more...
http://tinyurl.com/nfkvb
I note that these "peace activists" never hang out in places where they might have to suffer their fate without the intervention of a civilized military to protect them: you'll never find them working to heal tribal rifts in Nigeria, or as missionaries in Zimbabwe, or trying to bring peace to the Saudi side of the border. They're always somewhere that the people on the OTHER side are civilized enough not to shoot them out of hand (and the side they're helping is- barely- smart enough to not want to lose the good PR they represent)- in Iraq opposing Americans, in "Palestine" opposing Israelis, et cetera.
Dr. Sanity, I can only imagine what A2 is like now. When I got my undergraduate degree, Bush Sr. was the guest and I remember those grads who decided to walk out in protest - and then complained to the papers when security wouldn't allow them back in. It is a bit like that, isn't it? One wants the cake of victimhood and for others to feed it to you.
I'm using this quote from your blog in a paper I'm writing about Willy Loman from Arthur Miller's play, "Death of a Salesman":
"Three psychological defense mechanisms (projection, denial, and displacement) are the source almost all human suffering."
Thanks for the quote! 
Damn!
You are on "the button". We are all victims at one time or another. We are all part of this world. What system is it that puts us in such conflict?
I have only one answer... religion!
Hang on Brother, you are not alone.
There's an Old Tina Turner song from the movie sound track of "Beyond Thunder Dome".
"We Don't Need Another Hero"
Do those words ever go through our minds?
Personally, those words hunt me in my life's journey.
Thank you Doctor! Words to live by!
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Excellent analysis. Thank you for sharing Really fantastic read. I know exactly what you mean...
Seriously do you think following an order from a superior after following maybe a dozen to kill a few for there oil and land to rescue a few people who are being forced by taxes to pay for their antics weapons killing and torture sprees equates to you giving 20 to an old lady out of you heart. giving to the woman was good she was an asshole and those troops are still murderous thugs who should all be executed for their war crimes.
If any of you have seen the play Wicked, I would appreciate you interpretation of "no good deed goes unpunished"
I interpret No Good Deed Goes Unpunished to mean that if you provide a gift to advance your own feelings, ambitions or welfare it is wrong and through the natural order of things will be punished.
It is somewhat perplexing because often times the benefits are so tremendous, the world would not be changed for the good without the selfish human genes at work. If Bill Gates and Warren Buffett did not want to make the cover of Business Week (just kidding-but their are back end benefits that accrue to them), through their wisdom they would not have gifted.
Alternatively, if they gifted just for the sake of gifting (absolutely zero publicity), they would be truly honorable and morale.
Athough there is much truth to the assertion that people with a persecution syndrome project their feelings of self-guilt upon others in an incriminating way, it in now way validates the broad sweeping generalizations expounded in this opinion paper. Such allegations serve only to dehumanize the perceived opponent by lumping them into a class upon which hate can safely be directed. Whenever I hear rhetoric such as left/right, conservative/liberal, republican/democrat, I am almost certain to find a source trumpeting their cause with unsupported assurtions or at best annectdotal evidence. It is also a very naive perspective to evaluate one's deeds based on a single perspective or single layer of interaction. An action almost invariably involves a ripple effect inwhich the outcomes value is only a product of the perspective through which it is seen. Do not attempt to judge for even the wisest of people cannot forsee all the implications of an event. E.
You're an idiot.
Fabulous blog. Well stated. For me, the lexis of thought can at times be meaningless, but sometimes reflection can bear the genuineness of a sentiment. It is during those times of musings I find myself wondering the ultimate response to gracious acts of kindness and the recognition by which it so deserves. If someone had offered me $20, I wouldn't have been able to take it. Even if you were unclear of your patient's misguided representations of her psyche at the time of the offering, it is clear that your heart was in the right place at the right time.
In response to the comment that 'peace activists are only found in places where there are armed forces nearby to protect them':
Please do your research! There are many peace organizations who use proven nonviolent strategies to help de-escalate violent conflict among groups, such as the International NGO, Nonviolent Peaceforce. They're commitment to working with local peace groups in various countries is recognized by the UN, the Department of Peace, and other "big" authorities as effective and vital to the peace process.
Not all peace groups are one and the same, just as not all churches, republican groups, or psychology departments are the same. We don't all throw ourselves in front of oppressors in order to become martyrs, and many of us certainly don't respect the behavior of those "peace" activists described in this paper. Just as there are disagreements among conservative-minded people, there are disagreements (and significant differences) among progressive-minded people.
Bravo, Dr. Sanity, for analyzing the state of victimhood. However, making generalizations about people based on one experience or a few peace activists doesn't seem to be the most the most scientific approach.
Thank you, Dr. Sanity. I really needed to read this today. I am helping a homeless couple who I met on the street three weeks ago, and I always leave any interaction with them feeling strangely guilty for my helping, as if I were somehow the cause of the problem I'm trying to solve, and nothing I do seems to be enough for them. I do get the sense that they don't own their emotions and instead project them on to me, which is why I feel quite "slimed" after being with them. They are not big on grattitude, and I have realized that it's my own neurosis that needs this, although I'm not in a therapist/social worker relationship. There is no monetary exchange or compensation for this, as I'm just helping as an individual, so there is definitely a need and desire for some energetic exchange for my time and money. Love and grattitude would suffice!
But they are in a situation where they must focus solely on their own needs, and this is certainly a bottomless pit of need. There is no end to their requirements, stories, and rigid worldviews.
But it was refreshing to read your story of a similar experience. My parents, who have helped many people, raised me with the belief that "no good deed goes unpunished." I have tried to debunk this all my life; however, I can't think of a time when it hasn't! I do believe it depends on the awareness level of the people you help--helping good friends with awareness usually rewarding, for instance, and it depends on your intention when helping--are you trying to be liked, as you say, or are you just trying to help your fellow man, as an equal, with compassion.
Dr. Sanity
I have found through my work as a music therapist and then a sound frequency healer that unfortunately most people do not want to heal. There are too many secondary gains from holding on to their fear, anger, grief, guilt, resentment,power and control issues, emotional pain and all their emotional toxicity. Sad but true.
PEACE
My goal is to strive to be in the center of all love and peace at all times. Whatever pulls me out of that place has got to go. Peace activists often become polarized and then negate what they wanted to be in the first place- peaceful. Funny isn't it? If they would stay in the center of love and peace they would accomplish so much more.
I found this by investigating the saying that "No good deed goes unpunished". I just heard this saying recently and have a great need to find out why this is true. Who is the punisher? God, the devil? If we are doing good things to help others, then we should be protected if it is the devil's doing. Is there some energetic natural law involved here? A good thing has to have a bad thing follow to neutralize it. I hope I can resolve this before this pulls me out of my center of love and peace. Ha!
Peace, Joy and Happiness
Joy
Are there any instances when a person could legitamety be called a victim? And if so, is it ever appropriate to offer help?
Your comparison of a psychologically unbalanced woman to captured aid workers is flawed and simplistic. The woman overreacted, be it due to stress or a mental disorder, that's fine. The peace activists you describe on the other hand acted that way for a reason - they believe that the military there is useless and only exacerbates the problem by being there.
Judging by how much of a failure capturing Osama bin Laden and the 'War on Iraq' have been, I can't say I blame them terribly for wanting to show their dislike of the military presence there. Yes, the crazies who kidnapped and tortured should not be supported, but at the same time being rescued from them by the military does not mean that you should act as though you expect them to suddenly forgive everything the military has done under the Bush administration's orders.
As a result, your article tries to make some big psychological point about how people act in terms of victimhood that ultimately fails as a result of your gross oversimplification of the reasoning behind the peace activists' reactions.
Well Dr. Sanity, in 2009, 3 years after publication you're still google's #1 result for "no good deed goes unpunished." Congratulations. The 'all mighty algorithm' likes you.
Though you present an interesting point in your article, i really feel that no one in this argument is entitled to the moral high ground. Yes, it easy to conclude that "Victimhood is empowering" whilst it is equally easy to conclude that your gesture of kindness was simply a bigoted statement of fiscal superiority.
Though I don't possess any ultimate answers to these questions, i'd like to pose a few questions.
Whilst to that woman, your $20.00 represented a bus far home, and the avoidance of a substantial inconvenience, what did it represent to you? Did you go without something to give her that $20, did it inconvenience you in any way? did you even notice you'd spent it?
Most likely not.
Would you have driven that same woman home? Would you have taken the time out of your (no doubt busy) day, to spend the same amount of time with that woman as you spent writing this article? Time is the one thing that (for the most part) we've all got the same amount of. It's just how we chose to spend it that counts. So were you're actions genuinely charitable, was your time spent writing this article given in an equally altruistic spirit, or was it (as you so aptly put it) just narcissism?
So rather than trying to state that victimhood is somehow a pathological state, used as a mechanism to engender fraudulent sympathy, simply accept it for what it is, someone in need. If you gave that woman a few hours of your time, gave her a shoulder to cry on, with no prejudice and no self interest, you may well have genuinely helped someone. Throw her some token gesture, which costs you practically nothing, I'm not surprised at the result you got.
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