You're right, Kate, Elizabeth Ministry can be a great source of support. The official Elizabeth Ministry site is www.elizabethministry.com. Following the example of Mary and Elizabeth, we visit and share the sacredness of life!
We have had a chapter at our church for several years now. Our primary activities are a prayer chain and a meals ministry, with some visits and phone calls for support as requested.
Most recently, we provided two meals a week for a family whose daughter was born this past November with what I believe was anencephaly. She lived for 11 weeks and died at home with her family. Her funeral liturgy was held on Valentine's Day.
Katie | 02.23.05 - 12:17 pm | #

Good points Katie. One of my best friends and mentor was Anita Exline, who died 2 years ago at age 82. I still miss her very much!
Elena | Homepage | 02.22.05 - 2:08 pm | #

Oh, I forgot to mention. There's a great women to women ministry called the Elizabeth Minsitry (I believe theyhave a website). If your parish doesn't have a chapter, they ought to! Its all about reaching out to other women throughout their lives through acts of service (bringing communion to the ill, food and service to women who have just given birth, spending time with the bedridden, etc.) and it is a great way to build unity and community regardless of age. As a new expectant mother, it is a great comfort to me to know that I will be visited and helped by older experienced mothers in the weeks after I give birth.
Kate | Homepage | 02.21.05 - 2:30 pm | #

God grant that I (a very headstring twenty-something) am open to the grace to hear His words, wherever they come from! But I know that is not always the case.

Here's my perspective on this...it is necessary to begin by forging relationships with women of different ages. School starts by putting us all in a very restricted 'age ghetto' (as my mother calls it) where we can't learn much from those around us. It takes time as adults to learn to build communion with older and younger women.

I think effective mentoring begins from what we have in common and the trust that has already been built on the basis of mutual intimacy and openness. That means that the young woman 5 pews in front of you is more likely to listen to your good advice if you are open about your imperfections and willing to seek her advice as well, and if you spend time together as friends as well as mentor and mentored.

Similarily, if you set aside time to be with an older woman in your parish, you will learn whether her judgment is to be trusted or not, and benefit from her wisdom.

In a virtual world...well, lets just say that its a heck of a lot harder, even if you've been corresponding for years, to earn someone's trust in a difficult time, if all you have ever been is a line of text on a screen.

Sometimes God uses total strangers, but most of the time I think He likes to use our existing relationships, to purify and strengthen our love and deepen our unity.

Thankfully, it is ultimately in God's hands. We are not the Saviour. Sometimes all we can do is say what our conscience is driving us to say, and then back off and pray, believing and knowing that God is able to touch even the most distant heart.
Kate | Homepage | 02.21.05 - 2:25 pm | #

What about setting up a kind of mentoring program through your parish? I heard about a program called "Apples of Gold" on Focus on the Family a few years ago. It was based on Titus 2, and set out to do something similar to what you're describing.
Amy | Homepage | 02.20.05 - 11:41 pm | #

I'll be checking back to see if anyone has a good perspective on this one ... because I think we're in the same places in our lives with this. Although, I still step forward to give that unwanted advice probably more than I should, hoping that it will register and be used later ... certainly I remember things that my elders have said and that I can use now. In fact, earlier this week one such example, mentioned as an aside, many years ago, sent me straight to this older woman when I found myself in the same situation. So maybe those words don't always go unheeded; they just don't get used the way we think they should be.
Julie D. | Homepage | 02.20.05 - 3:26 pm | #