Well, I think you have to go with (1) someone who has been successful and (2) experienced, and (3) with a progam that will work for you!


Those aren't necessarily conflicting bits of information. South Beach is a modified Adkins. Weight Watchers has it's winning points and also a core plan. Bottom line though is that you have to eat less (You're already doing that), and move more.

I'm struggling with the weight thing too (been pregnant four times in the past eight years). I know what to do, I just need more time to exercise. There are two older women, using two different programs, who both inspire me nontheless, Barb Curtis and Dotti of Dotti's Weight Loss Zone Keep in mind it doesn't really matter WHAT you do, just that you DO something, and that losing weight is 98% mental!!

Find what works for you and then stick with it. Good luck!
Elena | Homepage | 06.21.06 - 3:56 pm | #

One thing that a lot of us younger women have is a preponderance of people all giving us conflicting advice. One example I can think of is the fact that I'm fat. Plain and simple, and I'm working on it by eating less. Just cut the amount of food I eat by a third. No-brainer, huh?

Well, I'll be confounded if I can't mention the fact that I'm on a diet before every single person jumps in with advice on how to do it 'better, faster, right'. I had one doctor recommend South Beach, and five minutes later his nurse recommended Atkins, and a woman in the waiting room who had been eavesdropping grabbed my arm on the way out and said, "Don't listen to the nurse, go to Weight Watchers."

Whose advice should I have listened to?
Sr. Mary Hasta | Homepage | 06.21.06 - 2:06 pm | #

Hi Donna. I don't think all older women are wise, just like I don't think all younger women are arrogant and unteachable. I'm willing to bet the ladies at that table don't know there is a book of Titus in their bibles either, let alone the specifics of Titus 2!
Elena | Homepage | 06.21.06 - 6:24 am | #

A voice from the peanut gallery here....
What makes you think older women are necessarily wise ? I remember sitting at a table at a family wedding reception, surrounded by older female relatives - most of whom were cheerily discussing the contraceptives they had used before they went through menopause, except for one or two elderly ones who were complaining about how they were 'gypped' because the Pill came out after they no longer 'needed it.'
All of these ladies would call themselves Catholic - though, I'll admit, only about half of them attend Mass every Sunday....
Donna Marie Lewis | Homepage | 06.20.06 - 10:59 pm | #

I did spend 10 years in the working world before we started a family and I do remember that there was a transition from office/corporate mentality to being at home. So you may be on to something Janette.

I was also thinking that if this generation of women had mothers who were always out of the home, they may not be use to having an older woman close at hand for day to day instruction and guidance. That's something else I am considering.

Now Janette, you and I met on a debate board!! That's just one side of me. I can be as warm and cuddly as the next gal!

But interestingly that comment made me go back and look at the TItus II verse again. It doesn't give a command to "befriend" just to teach. Certainly I have had a couple of opportunities to become friends with older women that I learned from and who mentored me, but with others their remained a respectful distance and that's okay too. One doesn't necessarily need to befriend in order to teach.
Elena | Homepage | 06.16.06 - 9:22 am | #

You may have been eight years older- but you are also a woman who chose the "stay at home" path. If they are in their late thirties- they KNOW better because they are career women who are taking a bit of time off for their biological clocks. Different attitude. I see a vastly different attitude with my sister's friends who have little ones ( professional women- who heard their clocks and are used to gathering their info from other professional women) then from my neices- who are 20ish and having that first baby.....
I will say this as nicely as I can- you just aren't the "Friends" type of advice giver.....
Janette | 06.15.06 - 8:51 pm | #

Good points Kate and Eileen. We have become information heavy, and we do seem to put a premium on specialization especially in the health care industry.

The other point I wanted to make Ruth, but forgot (mommy brain) was that although I did set goals for myself like VBAC and breasfeeding, once I set those goals I didn't ignore the advice of those trying to help me achieve those goals. I see that happen rather frequently.

At precana, after our talk last year, one young woman wrote on her evaluation about what marriage was "REALLY" about, and it wasn't about the stuff we talked about. I had been married 27 years. She hadn't been married 27 nannoseconds. I think I might have had a thing or two to offer in that talk if she hadn't sat there with her mind tuned out!
Elena | Homepage | 06.15.06 - 6:07 pm | #

Interesting comment by Ruth, since I did witness a nurse "instruct" a new mom (she was 17) on how she didn't want to breastfeed and to bottle feed was so much simpler. The girl and I shared the same hospital room for maybe a 1/2 a day after my 6th baby. I know the new mom saw me breastfeeding. I missed an opportunity to educate, but frankly, at the time, felt "outranked" by that nurse.
Eileen | 06.15.06 - 5:52 pm | #

You know, I think you might be seeing the results of a generation or two of large scale information overload. There is so much information out there (most of it disagreeing with other bits), so many opinions, so many voices, that it is just easier to give up on dialogue, or at least reduce it down to dialogue with a few people with whom you have personal relationships.

It just takes a lot of time and effort to figure out which are the truthful and valuable voices to learn from, and which are noise to shut out.
Kate | 06.15.06 - 5:39 pm | #

The one lady says she does want to avoid a C-section, the other does want to breastfeed. I guess what I am getting at is this "lone ranger" feeling I getting, in the blogosphere, at pre-Cana, and just in general. These are mothering issues, but in other things too such as marriage preparation. It is as though it is possible and even desirable to go it alone, figure it out and get it right the very first time without in put from mere "older women" although I do see a term "trusted professional" popping up in these conversations. One wonders how our great great grandmothers managed without access to an HMO physician or nurse for every question and concern.
Elena | Homepage | 06.15.06 - 2:49 pm | #

Are the ladies you described less inclined to listen to the advice of others than you are--or do they just disagree with you. You knew you wanted to breastfeed and sought out advice on how to do so. I'll bet if some nice older woman had come into your hospital room touting the benefits of formula and offering you free bottles and formula along with her advice, you would not have taken it. You wanted to avoid a repeat c-section so you bought into the anti-cesearean line and sought the company and advice of those with similar beliefs.

I'll bet if some nice older woman came to your home tomorrow or commented here about the advantages of sending your kids to the local public or Catholic school, you'd decline to follow that advice.

All of us are better at taking advice when it agrees with us.
Ruth | Homepage | 06.15.06 - 2:06 pm | #