Comment!
Hiya. Got caught up at work, catching on the interweb brouhaha surrounding Hedyot's interview.
I appreciate this post a lot.
A couple comments:
"I was going to write about being progressive within Orthodoxy and pushing the limits. I was going to write about reasons to stay and push the boundaries of Orthodoxy or leave to another stripe that already has the boundaries you personally are comfortable with. Maybe I'll still write about that. But the wind is gone from the sails."
Interestingly, you will note that I did essentially stay orthodox. I wrote very obliquely about my essential problems with Judaism, but I did mention them. My problems were not primarily with Orthodoxy, but with more fundamental issues that are, in many cases, as tied to culture as to religion. I can deal with those issues on a cultural level, but on a religious level, I can't deal with that level of dissonance.
To remind you of some of the oblique references and slightly expand upon them: The idea of time and history as it has developed in Judaism; the structure of halachic authorities and how that is bound up with yeridos hadoros to prevent change from being acknowledged as a relentless feature of existence; the ideas of race and nationality that are so central to Jewish thinking--even where those have been rejected, the culture by and large retains them
Yet, few problems with the concept of orthodoxy. So I chose a religion with an active hierarchy. the Church does not require that we follow canon law of thousands of years ago. Canon law changes. In fact, virtually all things within my faith *can* change. They mostly change pretty slowly. That is in the nature of orthodoxy, and that is fine. Change from within, and I don't demand that it be within my one very short lifetime. I have more patience than that, and one is generally in a religion for the long haul.
Next: Time still happens. Whether or not I can manage to literally believe in transubstantiation really varies day to day and week to week. Suspending rationality is difficult. What is unfailingly incredible to me about it though, is that it is purportedly occurring in real time. There is little remembrance of past glories; we are still living the glories of our faith. Miracle happen, daily. Yeah, so some days I'm better at believing that than others, but it is appealing to me, not only its orthodoxy, but in the theology and philosophy behind the orthodoxy.
Then too, while one *can* live a kosher life in Kyoto or Fargo or Kabul, doing so requires one to be separate. Holiness and separateness are semantically one and the same. While in my faith certain holy things are separate from certain profane or daily things, there is no mandate to be entirely separate in virtually all things. My faith has room for people who wish to live apart or who feel the need to live apart. Then again, it also has room for the Jesuits--the roamers and rovers, first in to many non-
Cont'd"
...Then again, it also has room for the Jesuits--the roamers and rovers, first in to many non-Western places. Although the Jesuit history is checkered at best, I am delighted at the idea of a religious being able to live a holy life at yet live the way other than he would have lived within a cloister back home. The room for diversity is far greater. So nu, it's not flawless, and the Church still insists that gender is an entirely anatomically driven imposer of certain life rules on all people, all of whom belong fully to one of two genders. I disagree. So? I have a long experience living within a religion with which I disagree. That it is not likeyl to change in my lifetime? I can live with that too. It's a belief, but a belief founded on the belief that laws and the beliefs that guide them can be changed.
Obviously, I'm into late-night musings, and I've said more than I intended to say, but your post struck a chord. I appreciate your following your thought process, as so many have not bothered to do.
I found it amusing that one commenter seemed to think he was insulting me by stating that I'm still frum. Of course I'm still frum, on some ways. I am pretty driven and one of the places from which I derive my energy and my direction is faith in God. Why not be an atheist? Well, there's that pesky belief, most days. On the other days, when belief doesn't come so easily? Well, where I am now, those days are acknowledged and one is not berated for having them. And on those days, I still find that my focus on my belief keeps me goal-directed.
So yes, still frum. Still orthodox. And still Jewish, I guess. Just not still an Orthodox Jew.
I think that I am different from the bulk of the OTD community in only two ways: First, I believe in God, mostly. Second, I have thought about another faith in a way that went beyond the stereotypes.
When people say "How could possibly belong to a religion that has slaightered millions of Jews and is evil and horrible and non-sensical?" that makes about as much sense as say "How could you possibly enjoy eating a slab of half-rotten scorched flesh sliced from an enslaved, tortured beast, covered with the congealed secretions of some other poor tortured animal?"
Make it sound unappealing enough, and clearly I'm nuts to answer "Because it tastes good."
But that's the answer. To both questions.
Sara
Sara,
Thanks for commenting. Can I send you an email?
Sure. I don't check my gmail very often (obviously), but I shall make an effort for the next couple of days.
Free,
I so want to read your blog but the font is so tiny! Can you increase the font size?
All you have to do is press and hold the ctrl key and then press "+". It magically makes the font as big as you want! 
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