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mr. t. once made a diaper out of his t-shirt. he explained that the first thing that came to mind when he realized "poop! no fresh diaper!" was military survival school, where they drilled one lesson into his head: you have only the things you have, so don't bother looking for what you don't have. improvise.
my thought was, who would have known that military survival school would come in handy when one forgets to bring a diaper bag?
absolutely hilarious!!!
I'm glad to hear that Alex is doing better though, and I'm sure he loved that hot dog.
I would have lost it when the doctor laughed. And Joy Division? Hee.
Some days have too much piss and shit. Glad he's eating hot dogs, and hopefully he'll be completely well soon.
Well, to be precise, they're tofu "Not-Dogs". Nobody tell him the truth!
I was disapointed when there was no entry yesterday but after reading what you went through I guess you're forgiven. So glad Alex is feeling better and so happy to hear that I am not the only one who has left the house without the diaper bag. I even once took the bag but neglected to check if there were diapers in it.
After a few incidents like yours. I got really orgazized and bought an extra pack of diapers for my trunk.
Okay, what really happened was I accidently left a wayward package of diapers in the trunk after a walmart trip. Then the next day, when I realized we had no diapers with us, my dh said, "I think there's some in the trunk." Oh, I felt like a really together mom right then.
See, now *that* is why the blog is all worth it! From now on, I'll keep an emergency stash of diapers and wipes in the car. I've changed them enough times in the trunk anyway, I don't know why I didn't think of it. Thanks!
Hi Flea, long time reader, first time poster....so many things to say about this great entry, where to begin? As a father of two kids, I understand your problems with the happy meal toys, they come from out of nowhere, maybe they reproduce with other happy meal toys to make baby happy meal toys??? and also, I like your thinking....going from Joy Division to Goofus and Gallant to Smaug the Dragon in one entry, very Dennis Milleresque of you, and finally, always leave a couple of diapers(as well as pants/shirts) in the car in case of emergency!!!!!!!
Re: o horrors! the baby is on the table
It takes a village to raise a child until that child needs a diaper change, then where are all the villagers?
Just started reading (turned on by Trib article) and am already addicted. In fact am slightly annoyed when there is no new entry of a morning...
Today's story (doctor visit/diaper crisis) made me think that your life could--and I am totally serious about this--be the basis for a Seinfeld-esque sitcom. Do you have any readers in the tv industry? I am not kidding, you should really pursue this. Think of the money...Alison
P.S. I see Janeane Garafalo playing you. You kind of look like her.
Okay, see, this is why guys like Dr. I Have Twins piss me right the fuck off. Sure, he knew the drill, his own kids had pulled that shit on him (literally) but then...nothing. He doesn't have diapers or wipes stashed away, because his wife NEVER but NEVER brings the twins to His Office, right? And he'll feel for you, no doubt, but not enough to have the presence of mind to keep a stash of diapers and wipes in the nurse's station. Oh, and he'll just let the nurse take care of rigging up a diaper-esque thing for Christopher. I mean, the man's a fucking pediatrician. It REALLY isn't too much to ask.
We've moved eight times since lp was born. She's the only grandchild and has three sets of living great-grandparents. We throw shit away like nobody's business.
Great story! I sure don't miss the diaper days. Now one of my two boys will call me at work 1/2 hour after I've dropped him off at school and blubber, "Uh, Dad, I, uh, left my math homework on the dinning room table. Can you go home and get it for me?" And since he's on double-secret probation in Advanced Math and not allowed one more late assignment, I am obligated to go get it for him.
I think I will quit my job and just finish the 4th grade for him. When I'm done with that, I'll finish the 9th grade for my other son. Much less stress that way.
The dress in black/joy division line cracked me up.
I also got turned on to this site from the Trib article. I'm not married and don't have kids, but I still really enjoy your writing, even if I cannot relate. But then again, I'm a man, so can never really relate to motherhood.
Oh, check out chicagofreecycle, a yahoo group (groups.tahoo.com) it's for people looking for free stuff and ppeople giving away free stuff. There are always new or expecting moms looking for toys, cloths, etc.
"No, we will not have a yard sale. Our neighborhood has the lamest yard sales ever. Nobody is rich here. If poor people are getting rid of their clothes or furniture, I guarantee it's complete crap. Don't come here for your yard sales."
I think you should have stashed the Putrid Couch (RIP) in the garage and tried to unload it via yard sale this summer. JUST for the comedic value. And you could have posted a mugshot of whatever sucker you convinced to take it.
I think you need to buy alex a swanky little black beret.
And it can be his say day hat.
Everyone has a sad day hat right?
Great post! Yours is one of the best blogs I've read in awhile. Keep up the great work.
And T, I couldn't help but picture Mr. T of The A-Team and Rocky III fame using his shirt as a diaper until I realized (correctly, I assume?) that you were referring to your husband.
Mike, that's who I picture, too, every time she mentions her husband. I'm hoping she doesn't correct us, though, because the image of the A-Team's Mr. T walking around with a baby wrapped in a tee shirt muttering about a missing diaper bag is just too great of an image.
"I pity the fool that took my diaper bag!"
I think your post is the best birth control any woman could have.
While I may be 20, I feel Alex's tonsil pains since I had mine removed less than a month ago. Hope he is doing a lot better!
Baby Blues made me laugh & remember my early mom days. Old ladies began to with their delivery horror stories, and with all their "helpful" advice/criticism, i.e. "Your baby should be wearing a hat" HELLO - she rips it right off her head, unlike the perfect children of your memory. Once, in the grocery store, with two toddlers in tow, youngest climbing around the basket & me 2 inches away, hand on cart, a "helpful" old lady came up to warn me that my child could climb out of the cart & fall on her head. I just looked at her and she said, "Or don't you worry about what happens to her?" I replied, "Not when you're here." She was furious & turned to her friend and said, "She's just the kind who will sue the store when her kid falls & hits her head." I'm not that kind at all! It still makes my blood boil & the toddlers are 23 & 25 now! It's a good reminder to me though, not to be corrective, but to be kind when I encounter a mom who's just doing the best she can.
'The baby is on the table!'
You had me right there. I found you from the Trib article too and I'm enjoying reading. Thanks!
Oh my goodness, what a day you had. That sort of experience is precisely why I always bring double the number of diapers I think I'll need to the pediatrician's office... one mom or another could always use one. I was given one by a more-organized mom once and never forgot it. (Our pediatrician's office has the same no-diapers policy, but they sure spend beaucoup bucks on stickers.)
OMG, ROFLMAO!! You are too funny, girl!! I laugh everytime I read you.
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