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i was more creeped out by call 2, but it had to be a joke, right? please tell me it was a joke.
i meant a joke as in, the caller was making an elaborate crank call, not that you were jokingly making it up.
It was SO an elaborate prank call....It had to be.
Or you're making the second one up. Right? Right?
"bit of an ass freak"? Isn't that from THe Kids in the Hall?
Ew, I had a caller like #3 when I worked at a sporting goods store. He posed as a man that was about to open a sport-themed restaurant and he was looking into tennis attire for waitresses to wear. He kept asking how short the skirts were and where *exactly* they came to on the woman's thigh. After about the third call -- he would only talk to me (I was the only female employee) -- my boss took his next call and the guy promptly hung up and never called back. Creep.
#2 can't be real, please?
I don't know if #2 was a prank or not, but he spent $40. He was definitely lying about something. His "high school sweetheart" was a 45 year old virgin who'd never seen a penis? Hmmm.
Ohmygod #1 & #2 were too funny. Except Mr. Teenage Daughter. That's just gross.
But Flea, you sell sex toys. I can totally see why someone who's an "ass freak" would think that's a positive. (just kidding)
High-larious post, Flea!!
45 or no, a choche is a choche... and I think his high school sweetheart's name is Bruce. You know the saying: methinks thou dost protest too much.
Is the plural of penis, penii?
Oh my god! I love shit like this. And I completely believe these were real calls. I work in an office in an art school and some woman called the other day about job opportunites and went on to tell me her life story, which included, but was not limited to, the fact that she believed until age 21 that she was a hermaphrodite. Uh, thanks?
Ang, what's a choche? I've never heard this term.
I had lots of callers like #3 when I was in highschool and worked for JC Penney Catalog. Men would call and place orders for lingerie, and ask A LOT of questions about the items, sometimes asking me my opinion- "do YOU think this bra is sexy? huh?" or "how do you think that bra would look on me?" (crossdressers! yay!)
Flea, yet another slam-dunk. I'm dying to come to your store (I live in Ravenswood), but every time I pass by I'm with at least one of my kids, and they're not old or young enough to shop for paraphrenalia with Mommy....
When I was in college, way way back before the Intarnet, I worked an 800# for gay or sexually exploring teens. At least a quarter of the calls were repeat pervs; we had lists of them on the wall with descriptions of their particular MOs. What I thought was most interesting was how very scripted each conversation turned out to be; it was almost like the ritual of the call and getting hung up on was their favorite part. I could deal with the homophobes and the adults pretending to be teens and the generic heavy breather types, but the diaper guys, I just could NOT get with them. Particularly this one guy who would would affect the childish wail of a ten-month-old when he knew you'd figured him out.
People.
Alison, the term choche (pronounced like 'coach' but with the 'ch' at the beginning) is a noun for a woman's genital area. I like it... sounds kinda pleasant and homey, not barbaric like snatch, twat, etc.
Now I want to make up names for Candy Vibes, but all I can think right now is how wise and tasteful it is that none of them are called a variation of "Mr. Goodbar".
Oh yeah: Chicago-is-a-state lady: HI-larious!
A have a friend who used to work in a sex shop. Her weirdest return ever was a woman who brought back a giant-sized black rubber suction cup dildo because (she said), she'd broken her coffee table.
I am equal parts "please don't tell me" and "Oh, I have GOT to hear this".
why didn't she try returning the *coffee table* if that was what was broken?
Oh, limpet. You and your logic.
Hmmmm....Have to ask...Was the guy's name Patrick by any chance? Or the shorter version, Pat?
I work for an online fetish site, and I get this guy who calls and he insists on calling me Ellie, even though the name is Eileena. He calls to order movies and leaves these long rambling messages. Thank goodness for the answering machine!
Okay, now I am not only laughing (wheezing) and crying at the same time, I am also waving my hand in front of my face. Why do I do that? It's not like waving is going to make me stop laughing so hard. Yet another co-worker has left the room hurriedly, looking back in trepidation.
What really scares me is I've had variations of all 3 of these calls working in a call center. And I work for a bank.
Hi, Eileena! He doesn't block his calls, so I could probably find out his name pretty easily. Next time he calls, I might call him back, heh.
DM, did you notice Sophia saying she got the same kind of calls at a sports store? It seems to be inescapable!
I work as health educator for the company that makes the female condom. I get these calls ALL the time! I even have a few regulars....after awhile you just develop a "sense."
Commenting by HaloScan
