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Soooo right there on the standing-over-them-with-a-pillow thing. I'm not married, but I've been living in sin for two years now, and there are some nights when (for no reason at all that's obvious to me) I just want to elbow him with all my strength, kick him out of bed, anything so that I won't have to lie there and listen to him breathe anymore.
Then I go on a business trip and wonder why the bed seems like such an empty, echoing expanse :P
Whenever my husband goes out of town, I dance around and think, "I get the middle of the bed! No snoring! Woo hoo!"
And damn, if I don't sleep as well when he's not around.
Pisses me off.
My husband was half an hour late coming home last night and I found myself searching for blunt objects with which to ambush him.
If we make it 50 years, it's only because he's a saint.
Here's to 50 more years together for your parents, Flea.
Congrats to your parents! I've been married for nearly 16 years, and I know exactly what your father is talking about. There have been times when I just wanted to walk out the door, and there have been times when I've fantasized about his disappearance, but we always come back to a good place.
Only 48 years for my parents, so far. I think the thing that made the biggest impression on me was when I was in my early teens and my parents went through some kind of bad patch, I think. Even when they were barely speaking to each other, my father kissed my mother on his way out the door in the morning. To me that meant that there was an underlying commitment there, and they sure acted that way. They've been through some brutally difficult things together, and they keep on doing it. It has helped me not "settle" for something, just for the sake of being/getting married.
Just leaving a note to say hi, since I've been systematically reading your archives for four days now. Anyway. I find you humorous and grammatical.
Glad to know I'm not alone with that permanent, deeply felt, abiding obsession with the middle of the bed. (Commenting on comments! It's what the cool kids are doing!)
There are TWO BEDS in our bedroom. Its the perfect solution. 
Everyone deserves their own bed.
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