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Oh, flea. You're one of the only people I know who can make me laugh until I cry, then cry for real, all in one post.
Crowder Pea knows that she's loved. It's going to be okay.
I'm so sorry.
It's true, though--she's had a love filled life and knows it.
Don't think of it that way - because the cat probably doesn't. Whether you could afford it or not, it might well be painful, uncomfortable, & confusing for her to undergo treatment. She'd probably think, "Why do they keep poking me with needles? Why do they keep cutting me open while I'm asleep?" And you wouldn't be able to explain it to her, not even as much as you could to a small child. The puking can't be any fun for her either.
So when you do decide to take her on the one-way trip to the vet, think of it as putting her out of her misery instead of prolonging it. She knows you love her.
Harder than hell, but necessary. 
My heart goes out to you.
I'm really sorry. I've been there too, and had to put down our black lab this Christmas. I cried, my husband cried, the vet cried, but Todd (the dog) was ready to go, he was in so much pain.
Oh hell, flea. I'm so sorry.
prednisone is good good stuff. it'll make her happier in the meantime.
i just found a stray cat that we then had to have put down because she was dying of feline leukemia, and that was amazingly hard. i can't even imagine how hard what you're going through is.
if you take hugs from random minnesotans, please have one.
I'm so sorry--both that taking care of Crowder Pea means eventually putting her down, and that you never had the satisfaction of killing Puff in some more dramatic way...'cause hey, that would have made such a good post...
I second Sheena's comment. When we put down our elder cat we waited too long, just because he hated going to the vet so much. He got to be in so much pain he couldn't stand up, and I finally convinced the local farm vet to come by and do it at home so he wouldn't be scared before he died.
Again, I'm sorry.
Hell, just hope that you're beloved kitty got large amounts of pleasure puking on your new couch, her legacy to you and your family.
All jokes aside, cry a little and pet that kitty right down to the end. She sounds like a good one.
When I was on prednisone (and granted I'm not a cat), it made me very emotionally volatile and violently aggressive. Just know that it's the sickness and the drugs, and that she loves you; it's so obvious she does.
I'm so sorry. You and she both deserve far better than that.
One of my cats had GI lymphoma, but I was lucky enough to have the financial means to spend the next two years visitng the veterinary oncologist every week/month. It worked, but my cat was one of the lucky 2%. I saw (and cried with) a lot of families over those two years, who lost their cats, and I think one of the reasons I spent the money was because I'd rather have done that than look into those big ol' brown eyes that have spent every moment with me, for ten years, and say "ok, you're done." Again, I lucked out because not only did the treatment work, but he had zero side effects along the way. So, I cannot imagine what you must be going through, but I cry when I think about it, and I'm sorry for your situation.
On the bright side, I saw plenty of kitties on prednisone and they were no worse for the wear. If it lets her spend more time sitting in the sun dreaming of mousing, all the better.
Oh flea, I'm so sorry about Crowder. I have had to put down a cat because I didn't have the money to provide care for him. The vet and I talked about options, both treatment-wise and money-wise, and what the likely outcome would be on all counts. Thank goodness I had a decent, understanding vet who made me feel a little less terrible about deciding to put him (my kitty, not the vet) down. The vet even offered to come to my apartment and put Bo down at home, which we did. Thank all good things for people and cats like them. This makes me cry, even 20 years later. My heart goes out to you and Crowder.
I'm so sorry. I'm dreading the day I have to do that with my cat. I hope I have the guts not to let him suffer too long, though. Sounds like your cat has had a life full of love.
Ah, the worst thing about pets. We've got a cat that is on her way out and I'm trying to get myself ready for it. Anyway, you'll know when it's time to say goodbye.
The only advice that I can give is to do it at home. We found a mobile vet (who was actually cheaper) who would come to our home when Moss was at the end of his life. They were so patient & nice & compassionate. And it was so much nicer for Moss. It still makes me sad to think about it 4 years later, but I know that it was much better for him than the alternatives.
I'm so sorry, Flea. My bunged-up Trout is still with us but I flash forward all the time and dread letting her go so much. I wish they'd just stick around and grow old with us.
Except Puff, of course.
I'm sorry. And I agree with those recommending the house-call vets. It still feels awful, but you know that your pet didn't die scared, but at home with people who love her. It helped knowing that, when we had to do it.
And if you need to take a day off afterward, do so.
(For what it's worth, if she _were_ Puff, she'd have been strangled a long time ago. Some cats are just eeeee-vil.)
Rana
Poor Crowder Pea. Poor you.
I have never successfully had a pet put down -- for various reasons, they've always passed on before I could get to a vet I trusted (or, once, *at* the vet's -- that was kind of traumatic, even though I'd gone in with the intention to have her put to sleep if the vet couldn't do anything else about the problem).
Here, have some more hugs from random net strangers.
As someone who just lost their 1 yr old kitten due to unnatural causes (vehicular) last Friday, I totally feel for you. It was bad enough with him - I don't know how I'll manage when it's time for my 10 yr old Calico to pass on. At least you know your itme with Crowder Pea is limited so you can make the most out of every day until the end and say goodbye properly.
My dog is on prednisone right now to control seizures, except that she still has them and they've been getting more frequent. So we might have to put her down and the thought is just killing us. But I'm sure Crowder Pea had a wonderful life especially with people like you to care for her, and I agree with the people above, putting her down puts her out of her misery and the pain she's possibly feeling. I send you hugs (From another internet stranger) and hope it all goes well.
I'm so sorry. I've been there, though not because of money. I also advise an at-home vet if you can find one.
I'm so, so sorry.
flea, I'm so sorry about Crowder. I've had to put down two cats, the first was a cat I had for almost 16 years. The vet wouldn't let me stay with her while they gave the injection, for which I still curse that unfeeling sack of shit.
The second time was a cat that we inherited when we bought our house. He came down with feline leukemia about a year after we moved in. Different vet let me stay with him while they gave the injection and his passing was very peaceful. It is never an easy thing to do, and my heart goes out to you.
Flea,
I'm so sorry about Crowder Pea. I had to have my dog put down and it was much harder on me than it was on him -- I didn't want to lose him, but he was blind, deaf, incontinent and in pain. Finally, I asked myself if I would want to live like that. The answer, of course, was NO. And I owed it to him not to make him suffer to make ME feel better.
Have you ever heard of Rainbow Bridge? Where the pets we've lost wait for us -- young, healthy and happy -- and so very glad to see us. Keep that thought close to your heart, and know the rest of us feel for you and cry with you.
I'm so sorry Flea.
I am so sorry.
Oh, hon, how awful. I think the dreading part must be awful for you, the awfulest. I had 24 hours from the time I found out Jupiter was ill until I found out there was nothing we could do to help.
Crowder Pea can still die in your arms. And regardless, she knows she's loved.
Thanks everybody.
The way I see it, there are tons of cats out there who live on the streets, are beaten daily, who are neglected, and who are diseased without the opportunity of any sort of reprieve from their pain. Your cat was one of the lucky ones to have someone love her and take care of her, and regardless of the length of that life, it was still a good one.
Flea, I'm so sorry about Crowder Pea. My kitties are my little fur-kids, and when we had to put one down due to feline leukemia, it was heartbreaking. Hugs to both you and Crowder.
God, this is reminding me of Steel Magnolias. Laugh. Cry. Laugh. Cry some more. The Rainbow Bridge idea is beautiful, Ellie, thank you for it.
My cat, Clyde, had cancer. We couldn't afford to treat him. The vet, bless him, told us he'd examine Clyde and see what our options were. If he could be saved, we'd work out a payment plan. If not, he wouldn't charge us. Unfortunately, treatment was impossible. We had to say goodbye. And it was terrible.
But it did help to realize he was no longer going to be in pain. And that Christmas, we received a card from the vet and his wife, wishing us well dealing with our loss. That helped even more. I wish your family the best, flea.
My cat, Violet, died three years ago this winter solstice of renal failure. By the end, I knew I should let the vet put her down, but I couldn't do it. I think she was waiting for me to do right by her, and my greatest regret of all our life together is that I couldn't do it, and I let her live in pain.
I can't judge how ill Crowder Pea is-- you've mentioned her puking a few times on the blog but that's obviously not the extent of it. Sometimes what's right for them is not what's easy for us. Sometimes it's heartbreaking. I'm so sorry for you, flea.
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