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Never?? Liar.
That's mighty tough talk for someone with no proof, cowgirl!
I had oatmeal for breakfast and beef'n'barley soup for lunch yesterday. I wasn't counting, but then, you don't have to when it's constant.
Now, is that figure saying that the average individual tends toward that number, or is it that there are some people who are incredibly flatulent who are making up for the rest of us? Inquiring minds want to know!
Rana
Oh, and did you know that, at any given time, a spider is within three feet of you? 
What an uncomfortable little factoid. More uncomfortable, I think, than the fact that the person standing next to you is probably about to or has just recently farted.
My son makes up for, I believe, the entire population of Ft. Wayne. Personally, I don't, and I plan to just explode in a fiery ball of god-only-knows-what someday.
You know something really distorted? I can distinguish each of my son's,husband's and dog's farts from each other. I *know* who it was because I know their farts. Each has a distinctive odor.
i have also heard that odors are distinct...
You don't fart? You're totally not invited to my house - that's all we do.
Pfft, laugh, pfft, urge a half-hearted "excuse me", pfft again. It's like a family event.
I must say I LOVE your blog! You had me laughing out loud several times, and that's rare when I'm by myself. Keep up the great work!
I'll support your assertion of not farting, because while I certainly do (from time to time, and in a very ladylike manner, mind you) I'm sure my brother more than makes up for your lack of flatulence.
Whenever anyone in our house farts, we blame it on our old dog, Daisy, who is dead - she was a very gassy dog.
We own a Basset Hound now, and they're stinky even when they aren't farting, but we've got him on some high quality dog food and he's not gassy at all. Still, there is not much one can do to combat the Mighty Odor of the Basset Hound.
I tried to give it up once but I gained a lot of weight.
Perhaps you all (and your respective children?) would enjoy "Walter the Farting Dog." I highly recommend it, especially when accompanied by "The Story of Farts." The 7-year-old loves them both. Of course. Not that dad or I get any pleasure out of them whatsoever.
We own both!
How about Good Families Don't by Robert Munsch? It's known universally as The Fart (which *was* its intended title), but his publishers, geniuses that they are, decided ahead of time that The American People(tm) would never buy a book called The Fart for their children. So The American People(tm) just named it that anyway, once it came out.
Good thing you're not a herring
15, eh? FINALLY I'm 'above-average' for something! Take that, SAT's!!!
But really, the question isn't how much we fart, in my humble opinion. It's how much time we waste on other completely unfunny stuff when we COULD be farting. It's tragic.
My husband is a tremendous inspiration. He actually farted in his sleep once, giggled about it, and NEVER WOKE UP. He still won't believe me that it happened.
I think my parents have farting competitions. And once they get farting, they're like a pair of 8 year olds. Disgraceful. You just can't take old folks anywhere these days.
in my house, we blame barking spiders. afterall, if at any time there is a spider within three ft from you, you might as well blame it.
^_^
You people are cracking me up.
Thanks a million for making *me* start counting. Yesterday, I think I topped out (bottomed out?) at about 4. I feel so dainty to be well under the 15-toot average! Clearly, there are some world-class tooters making up for the low-average folks.
Remember never to stifle (unless in a delicate social situation or in a store). My dad stifled toots and burps, and the strain was too much for his heart (not to mention his breath). He died at 61. My in-laws are dedicated non-stiflers, and still going strong!
"I tried to give it up once but I gained a lot of weight."
Or would you actually grow more bouyant? Does methane float?
LOL what's the source for that stat? Have scientists found that the average person farts 15 times a day but there is still no cure for cancer? Heh.
Trish - I don't know where he got his information from, but I googled it. Look!
Holy shit, Flea! (Literally. LOL)
In my family it is me, not my husband, who is the world class farter. I think it was on our third date that I tooted at him when I laughed. Such an embarrassing moment, don't you know, for a time when you want to leave a good impression. Evidently he took it in stride cause he's still with me. His little gas bubble. I'm sure I average at least 15 per day. Life makes me fart. Weird thing is I am now deaf (no joke) and I have to remember that other people hear these things! Would that everyone were more relaxed about these bodily noises as the rest commenting here. Sigh.
I'm buying Munsch's fart book from Amazon, whence the following two-star review:
"I bought this book because I love Robert Munsch's book I Love You Forever. I knew what I was ordering so it's my own fault, but I can't use this book. It's stuck up in my closet and I've never given it to the kids. I have a 6 year old and a 3 year old boy, and I have enough trouble with them talking about things that I'd rather they didn't, so I don't know why I ordered this book. I know they'd think it was funny, but the last thing I really want to do is get them talking about farts all day. I'm sorry, if your kids are more mature I'm sure it would be fine for them. But it definitly wasn't for my family."
Hah! What a fun mom. Buys fun stuff, then hides it in her Closet of Shame.
Munsch has a ton of authority-defying books that are right up kids' alley, but not much loved by stick-in-the-muds. So far, Ben has not drawn all over himself with markers, so I think the stories are pre
tty safe.
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