Comments Lounge
No experience myself, but here's something that might help, if it isn't written just for MOTHERS, that is: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obido...=books&
n=507846
No experience myself, but here's something that might help, if it isn't written just for MOTHERS, that is: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obido...=books&
n=507846
We are also going through potty training hell. And while I can't offer you any advice, and I won't offer you a (((HUG))), I can at least say you are not alone.
Oh, and not only is our 3 1/2 year old pooping in her panties (then lying when asked "did you just poop?"), but our cats have taken to shitting *beside* the litter box. As my hubby says, "My day is just one long poo portage."
We are also going through potty training hell. And while I can't offer you any advice, and I won't offer you a (((HUG))), I can at least say you are not alone.
Oh, and not only is our 3 1/2 year old pooping in her panties (then lying when asked "did you just poop?"), but our cats have taken to shitting *beside* the litter box. As my hubby says, "My day is just one long poo portage."
I am also a mom of a disabled son with potty issues. He recently had his ostomy reversed and only has 1/3 of his colon, so his poop is always runny liquid, and almost always gets everywhere. He'll be 3 the end of this month, and has no interest in the potty whatsoever, except that it goes 'flush'. Seriously, he will occasionally sit on it, refuse to do anything into it, beg to flush, and the minute he's off he'll do both in his pants. At least it's not just me.
I am also a mom of a disabled son with potty issues. He recently had his ostomy reversed and only has 1/3 of his colon, so his poop is always runny liquid, and almost always gets everywhere. He'll be 3 the end of this month, and has no interest in the potty whatsoever, except that it goes 'flush'. Seriously, he will occasionally sit on it, refuse to do anything into it, beg to flush, and the minute he's off he'll do both in his pants. At least it's not just me.
I have no advice for the potty situation, sorry. I can say that however painful waxing one's balls might be, when you're up around the level of pain of waxing the outer labia I don't think there can be much difference, can there? Of course, I think shaving my lower legs is excruciating, and can't bring myself to try anything more than that...
I have no advice for the potty situation, sorry. I can say that however painful waxing one's balls might be, when you're up around the level of pain of waxing the outer labia I don't think there can be much difference, can there? Of course, I think shaving my lower legs is excruciating, and can't bring myself to try anything more than that...
My step son has Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. We had potty issues with him for ages... He'd be fine for a while, then backtrack. I hate to tell you this, but it went on until he was about 6 or 7. Finally he seemed to just outgrow it. The only thing that worked for us was constantly checking in with him, ever couple of hours. It's so hard. You're not alone. I haven't watched the porn, but it certainly sounds more interesting than the mom's board...
My step son has Asperger's Syndrome, which is on the autism spectrum. We had potty issues with him for ages... He'd be fine for a while, then backtrack. I hate to tell you this, but it went on until he was about 6 or 7. Finally he seemed to just outgrow it. The only thing that worked for us was constantly checking in with him, ever couple of hours. It's so hard. You're not alone. I haven't watched the porn, but it certainly sounds more interesting than the mom's board...
I sent you an email about this, but have you contacted Squid (http://shroomhead.blogspot.com)?
I sent you an email about this, but have you contacted Squid (http://shroomhead.blogspot.com)?
I know how you feel and I can't read those mom boards either. I buy whichever diapers are on sale, my 4.5 yr old daughter has been known to pee on the couch, and I can't take moms who can only talk about their kids. I know it doesn't help you with the potty issue but misery loves company and you know your readers love you.
Ein Shem
I know how you feel and I can't read those mom boards either. I buy whichever diapers are on sale, my 4.5 yr old daughter has been known to pee on the couch, and I can't take moms who can only talk about their kids. I know it doesn't help you with the potty issue but misery loves company and you know your readers love you.
Ein Shem
i will consult my mother, who successfully raised two hellchildren (my sister and i) and currently teaches pre-school (3 & 4 year olds). she may have an idea or two.
i will consult my mother, who successfully raised two hellchildren (my sister and i) and currently teaches pre-school (3 & 4 year olds). she may have an idea or two.
I too had many challenges training my 2 girls. The youngest, simply did not care and would poop her pants wherever she was. We had a particulary ugly incident with this at a McDonald's playland when the poop fell out the bottom of her shorts and I had to get management to clear the playland so it could be cleaned! I just gave up for a long time and put her back in diapers-it made for a much more peaceful exsitence in our home and eventually she figured it out. She is 8 now and just recently stopped wearing pull-ups to bed, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel, somewhere! Keep your sense of humor and don't listen to all the nuts who tell you there child potty-trained themselves at 18 months. It is a crock of ----!!
Debbie
P.S. I had a friend who let her boy pee outside off the front step and he seemed to really enjoy that!
I too had many challenges training my 2 girls. The youngest, simply did not care and would poop her pants wherever she was. We had a particulary ugly incident with this at a McDonald's playland when the poop fell out the bottom of her shorts and I had to get management to clear the playland so it could be cleaned! I just gave up for a long time and put her back in diapers-it made for a much more peaceful exsitence in our home and eventually she figured it out. She is 8 now and just recently stopped wearing pull-ups to bed, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel, somewhere! Keep your sense of humor and don't listen to all the nuts who tell you there child potty-trained themselves at 18 months. It is a crock of ----!!
Debbie
P.S. I had a friend who let her boy pee outside off the front step and he seemed to really enjoy that!
Haven't seen the Digital Porn bit, sorry. And not having balls, I can't speak objectively about it, but I would posit that ball vs. outer labia pain would be similar, since they started out as the same genital folds for everybody, way back when. (Might actually be worse for men, since women's labia stick closer to their body--less torque--and have more fatty tissue to anchor it underneath. At least, I don't think men have any fatty tissue in their scrotum. Can any boys help me out with this?)
I have no helpful blather about the potty training issues, but I will say that you are putting my recent pissing issues with my cats into perspective. Want to make bets on who will grow out of it first?
Haven't seen the Digital Porn bit, sorry. And not having balls, I can't speak objectively about it, but I would posit that ball vs. outer labia pain would be similar, since they started out as the same genital folds for everybody, way back when. (Might actually be worse for men, since women's labia stick closer to their body--less torque--and have more fatty tissue to anchor it underneath. At least, I don't think men have any fatty tissue in their scrotum. Can any boys help me out with this?)
I have no helpful blather about the potty training issues, but I will say that you are putting my recent pissing issues with my cats into perspective. Want to make bets on who will grow out of it first?
I, too, would suggest Squid (see link in Psycho Kitty's comment). I think you'll appreciate her very much, flea. You remind me of one another.
I, too, would suggest Squid (see link in Psycho Kitty's comment). I think you'll appreciate her very much, flea. You remind me of one another.
What I'm wondering about (and clearly, this is just me) - where would one even go to get their balls waxed? I'm sure there are salons/storefronts that do it - but I don't even think you can get the full Brazilian where I live.
What I'm wondering about (and clearly, this is just me) - where would one even go to get their balls waxed? I'm sure there are salons/storefronts that do it - but I don't even think you can get the full Brazilian where I live.
Clearly, pinky, one would DIY with the best brand name in hair removal.
Clearly, pinky, one would DIY with the best brand name in hair removal.
To be clear, that's NOT an ad for a company founded by a woman who wanted her 6-year-old girl hairfree.
It's just that I can't get over the name.
To be clear, that's NOT an ad for a company founded by a woman who wanted her 6-year-old girl hairfree.
It's just that I can't get over the name.
I don't have kids but I sympathise with you over the Momness of some moms.I've heard women say it's a defence mechanism when mothers complete bury themselves in their children. They're trying to hide some personal inadequacy. I know two mothers from both ends of the spectrum of momness and I know which I would rather be.
I don't have kids but I sympathise with you over the Momness of some moms.I've heard women say it's a defence mechanism when mothers complete bury themselves in their children. They're trying to hide some personal inadequacy. I know two mothers from both ends of the spectrum of momness and I know which I would rather be.
When we were thinking of starting a family I would seek out parenting boards as research, and man are there a lot of idiots such as you described. Hipmama.com used to have message boards that were much much better, but now they only have diaries and comments, so the advice is harder to find.
I've found your site and the few other good parenting blogs out there much more my kind of thing, but I would love to see a real parenting board that banned smilies and avatars and all that crap and just dealt with the real stuff.
When we were thinking of starting a family I would seek out parenting boards as research, and man are there a lot of idiots such as you described. Hipmama.com used to have message boards that were much much better, but now they only have diaries and comments, so the advice is harder to find.
I've found your site and the few other good parenting blogs out there much more my kind of thing, but I would love to see a real parenting board that banned smilies and avatars and all that crap and just dealt with the real stuff.
Hipmama did rock. There's a new site called "Messirap" that was started by some of the old hipmamas, but I don't know how good it is.
I think that the brain-dead mother thing is just a manifestation of the fact that, well, there are a lot of people in the world who don't think much about stuff. When they have kids, it's really really easy for them to buy into the prevailing idea of motherhood, which is, of course paper-thin (and brain-dead). It's kind of maddening, but no more irritating in and of itself than women who only ever talk about men, or men who only ever talk about getting laid, or sports, or whatever. It's just that because "Motherhood" is such a sacred institution, there's all this goddamn aura of unimpeachability about it that there isn't about all the other inane stuff.
Sadly, I have no wisdom on the potty-training front, only incredible sympathy and good wishes.
Hipmama did rock. There's a new site called "Messirap" that was started by some of the old hipmamas, but I don't know how good it is.
I think that the brain-dead mother thing is just a manifestation of the fact that, well, there are a lot of people in the world who don't think much about stuff. When they have kids, it's really really easy for them to buy into the prevailing idea of motherhood, which is, of course paper-thin (and brain-dead). It's kind of maddening, but no more irritating in and of itself than women who only ever talk about men, or men who only ever talk about getting laid, or sports, or whatever. It's just that because "Motherhood" is such a sacred institution, there's all this goddamn aura of unimpeachability about it that there isn't about all the other inane stuff.
Sadly, I have no wisdom on the potty-training front, only incredible sympathy and good wishes.
Thanks for the link, Flea.
And the thought, "I'm glad I'm not a mom...oh, wait." I have that thought all the time, but never coherently. I just usually raise my arms and say, "It's so GREAT to be ME, the BEST MOM EVER!"
Thanks for the link, Flea.
And the thought, "I'm glad I'm not a mom...oh, wait." I have that thought all the time, but never coherently. I just usually raise my arms and say, "It's so GREAT to be ME, the BEST MOM EVER!"
This doesn't help, but when I was dating my wife in college I used to sleepwalk. One night I got up and made a left when I should have gone right and walked into her roommate's room and peed all over her steamer trunk/basket full of sweaters. I suppose that doesn't help.
In perspective, there is no more reason to wax your outer labia than wax your scrotum. Um...my...well, whatever, you know what I mean.
Remember that SI and Autism and higher thinking are all coming from the same part of the brain. You may be grooming the next Einstein, though it may not seem like it right now. God has Her plan for all of us.
This doesn't help, but when I was dating my wife in college I used to sleepwalk. One night I got up and made a left when I should have gone right and walked into her roommate's room and peed all over her steamer trunk/basket full of sweaters. I suppose that doesn't help.
In perspective, there is no more reason to wax your outer labia than wax your scrotum. Um...my...well, whatever, you know what I mean.
Remember that SI and Autism and higher thinking are all coming from the same part of the brain. You may be grooming the next Einstein, though it may not seem like it right now. God has Her plan for all of us.
I found your blog a week ago
thank you! just when I am about to blow my brains out you pull me back and help me realize i am not alone in the world of crazy mothers.
By the way i have yet to see a first grader in diapers.
I found your blog a week ago
thank you! just when I am about to blow my brains out you pull me back and help me realize i am not alone in the world of crazy mothers.
By the way i have yet to see a first grader in diapers.
Flea, I don't feel that 5 yo. is out of the range of normal for a child to still be having potty struggles. My oldest was in diapers at night until he was 8. I know of 5 and 6 year olds who still have accidents during the day. And I know of one very normal 4.5 year old who is very uninterested in using the toilet and who still just wears pull-ups all the time. He'll do it when he's good and ready.
However, being "one of those moms," I guess you won't see much value in my opinion. You know I love you, but this blog entry was hurtful.... where I am supposed to muster the energy to be "cool and interesting" on top of everything else I do? I just don't have the gumption of the inclination. Being openly despised for being drab and obsessed with details is just adding insult to injury.
And I know you weren't talking about me... but still, most moms are doing the best they can.
Flea, I don't feel that 5 yo. is out of the range of normal for a child to still be having potty struggles. My oldest was in diapers at night until he was 8. I know of 5 and 6 year olds who still have accidents during the day. And I know of one very normal 4.5 year old who is very uninterested in using the toilet and who still just wears pull-ups all the time. He'll do it when he's good and ready.
However, being "one of those moms," I guess you won't see much value in my opinion. You know I love you, but this blog entry was hurtful.... where I am supposed to muster the energy to be "cool and interesting" on top of everything else I do? I just don't have the gumption of the inclination. Being openly despised for being drab and obsessed with details is just adding insult to injury.
And I know you weren't talking about me... but still, most moms are doing the best they can.
Shit. Flea, that last entry was mine. I forgot to pu my name in....
Shit. Flea, that last entry was mine. I forgot to pu my name in....
Yeah, Eve, I knew when I wrote this entry that someone would post about how mean I am. Curious that it's you, though, who posts on radical feminist bulletin boards and has yet to present a persona even remotely what I described.
And this sentence: "where I am supposed to muster the energy to be "cool and interesting" on top of everything else I do?"
What an interesting assumption that you think you work harder and are more tired than I am.
Thanks for your first paragraph, anyway, it was helpful.
Yeah, Eve, I knew when I wrote this entry that someone would post about how mean I am. Curious that it's you, though, who posts on radical feminist bulletin boards and has yet to present a persona even remotely what I described.
And this sentence: "where I am supposed to muster the energy to be "cool and interesting" on top of everything else I do?"
What an interesting assumption that you think you work harder and are more tired than I am.
Thanks for your first paragraph, anyway, it was helpful.
Furthermore, I suspect, Eve, that you're defensive because you think I'm slagging on SAHM's. If that's the case, I'd like to point out that 9 out of the 18 links to mom blogs I listed are SAHMs.
Furthermore, I suspect, Eve, that you're defensive because you think I'm slagging on SAHM's. If that's the case, I'd like to point out that 9 out of the 18 links to mom blogs I listed are SAHMs.
Eve, the women Flea is describing, they're not "drab;" they're willfully, cheefully inane and empty-headed in the most aggressive fashion imaginable. I found them when I first went looking for TTC information (and ran screaming), and now that I'm adopting from China I hear they're over at Yahoo Groups with their blinky animations and "Mommy2PweshusAngels" logins and, apparently, a lot of ladybug stickers for some stupid reason. Wherever they are they suck up all the air in the room and make me wonder if I even want to be a mother- what if I have to hang out with THEM?
My search for normal, non-cutesy people to talk to about pregnancy was how I ended up at The Perfect World, Flea. The original TTC group there were largely refugees from World Crossing and Table Talk. There's still an autism thread at Table Talk, I believe, in the Mothers Who Think folder. You might try there.
Eve, the women Flea is describing, they're not "drab;" they're willfully, cheefully inane and empty-headed in the most aggressive fashion imaginable. I found them when I first went looking for TTC information (and ran screaming), and now that I'm adopting from China I hear they're over at Yahoo Groups with their blinky animations and "Mommy2PweshusAngels" logins and, apparently, a lot of ladybug stickers for some stupid reason. Wherever they are they suck up all the air in the room and make me wonder if I even want to be a mother- what if I have to hang out with THEM?
My search for normal, non-cutesy people to talk to about pregnancy was how I ended up at The Perfect World, Flea. The original TTC group there were largely refugees from World Crossing and Table Talk. There's still an autism thread at Table Talk, I believe, in the Mothers Who Think folder. You might try there.
If I may? I don't think this is an issue of feminism as much as it is an issue of intellectualism. I hear Flea saying that she prefers a certain level of discourse, and other levels don't work well for her. I don't think it's a criticism of anyone who really enjoys the kind of parties and discussion groups that Flea was describing, only a desire for an alternative.
I am sorry about the pottying issues, Flea. I hope you can link up with Squid as Frog suggested, because she has these struggles with her son, too, and might have something useful to share. Blessings for your family in any case.
If I may? I don't think this is an issue of feminism as much as it is an issue of intellectualism. I hear Flea saying that she prefers a certain level of discourse, and other levels don't work well for her. I don't think it's a criticism of anyone who really enjoys the kind of parties and discussion groups that Flea was describing, only a desire for an alternative.
I am sorry about the pottying issues, Flea. I hope you can link up with Squid as Frog suggested, because she has these struggles with her son, too, and might have something useful to share. Blessings for your family in any case.
I couldn't stand the Mothering Magazine message boards for the same reason, even though I like the mag. It was all "APing, CDing, BFing, SAHM!" at the bottom with huggy icons. I mean I do half that stuff, but I try not to define myself that way.
Anyway, I was going to say exactly what Bitchphd said, only it probably wouldn't have been so clear. They're probably the same people who were intellectually stimulated by watching Friends and scrapbooking beforehand, and now they just focus on Mommyhood, for which they are both rewarded and ridiculed. I think it's important not to get too lost in one's parenthood, even if it does take up most of your time and heart. Some boards kind of encourage it though, I think.
I couldn't stand the Mothering Magazine message boards for the same reason, even though I like the mag. It was all "APing, CDing, BFing, SAHM!" at the bottom with huggy icons. I mean I do half that stuff, but I try not to define myself that way.
Anyway, I was going to say exactly what Bitchphd said, only it probably wouldn't have been so clear. They're probably the same people who were intellectually stimulated by watching Friends and scrapbooking beforehand, and now they just focus on Mommyhood, for which they are both rewarded and ridiculed. I think it's important not to get too lost in one's parenthood, even if it does take up most of your time and heart. Some boards kind of encourage it though, I think.
I'm not suggesting I work harder than you Flea. Obviously, you have found a way to be an interesting and creative person and a mom at the same time. Not everyone is capable of that.
And I'm not a SAHM and I didn't think you were ragging on SAHMS...
I just think that mothers get enough shit from every direction without getting it from each other too.
Or maybe I'm just feeling really confrontational today. Which is entirely possible.
I'm not suggesting I work harder than you Flea. Obviously, you have found a way to be an interesting and creative person and a mom at the same time. Not everyone is capable of that.
And I'm not a SAHM and I didn't think you were ragging on SAHMS...
I just think that mothers get enough shit from every direction without getting it from each other too.
Or maybe I'm just feeling really confrontational today. Which is entirely possible.
Ironically, keeping a scrapbook (which I am starting to realize is different from "Scrapbooking") is something I enjoyed before I had children and had the time to focus on it.
Thanks, Andrea, Penny, and eisbaer.
Andrea said it very well - it's "aggressive inanity", and I have to say, yes, I hate it. I hate how miserable I feel when I'm in those social situations. I feel like I'm drowning. I took Alex to his regular playgroup the morning of Sept 12, 2001, and tried to talk about what had happened the day before.
-cont.
Ironically, keeping a scrapbook (which I am starting to realize is different from "Scrapbooking") is something I enjoyed before I had children and had the time to focus on it.
Thanks, Andrea, Penny, and eisbaer.
Andrea said it very well - it's "aggressive inanity", and I have to say, yes, I hate it. I hate how miserable I feel when I'm in those social situations. I feel like I'm drowning. I took Alex to his regular playgroup the morning of Sept 12, 2001, and tried to talk about what had happened the day before.
-cont.
The women all gave me this completely blank stare. Finally, one of them made this "tchah" sound, like a junior high school girl who found out you don't own a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Then she turned to the others and said, "Who wants to coupon swap?" and everybody turned their back on me and started swapping coupons.
So really, I'm not too interested on how I'm "giving them shit."
The women all gave me this completely blank stare. Finally, one of them made this "tchah" sound, like a junior high school girl who found out you don't own a pair of Gloria Vanderbilt jeans. Then she turned to the others and said, "Who wants to coupon swap?" and everybody turned their back on me and started swapping coupons.
So really, I'm not too interested on how I'm "giving them shit."
And Andrea, wait until you bring your daughter home and run into people who make you feel like you're not a good mother or not really a mother at all because you don't behave in the way they think you should.
I'll log on to Perfect World today - thanks for the reminder!
And Andrea, wait until you bring your daughter home and run into people who make you feel like you're not a good mother or not really a mother at all because you don't behave in the way they think you should.
I'll log on to Perfect World today - thanks for the reminder!
I'm sorry that happend, Flea. I know circles of mom's who like to coupon swap, and would still extend you sympathy.... I wish you weren't having such a rough time.
If your not too mad at me, I'd like to at least say that Alex's issues are not of your making and that it seems to me that your handling them as well as anyone could.
I'm sorry that happend, Flea. I know circles of mom's who like to coupon swap, and would still extend you sympathy.... I wish you weren't having such a rough time.
If your not too mad at me, I'd like to at least say that Alex's issues are not of your making and that it seems to me that your handling them as well as anyone could.
Hahahahaha! "Who wants to coupon swap?"
"Nobody. Nobody wants to coupon swap. The world is ending. You are all insane."
Holy shit. I don't imagine you ever went back there?
Hahahahaha! "Who wants to coupon swap?"
"Nobody. Nobody wants to coupon swap. The world is ending. You are all insane."
Holy shit. I don't imagine you ever went back there?
Okay, so now you understand what I'm talking about, right?
All those coupons were expired, by the way.
Okay, so now you understand what I'm talking about, right?
All those coupons were expired, by the way.
Andrea - no, I didn't.
Andrea - no, I didn't.
Flea, you will be greeted with glee at The Perfect World (please come!) but I don't know that anyone there can help you with toilet-training problem. The autism thread is at Table Talk
Flea, you will be greeted with glee at The Perfect World (please come!) but I don't know that anyone there can help you with toilet-training problem. The autism thread is at Table Talk
How ironic that you would write this post the day after once again cleaning the poo-laden underwear of my three-year old who is also struggling with potty issues. Thanks again, flea, for putting the frustrations into words far better than I could.
How ironic that you would write this post the day after once again cleaning the poo-laden underwear of my three-year old who is also struggling with potty issues. Thanks again, flea, for putting the frustrations into words far better than I could.
dammit...it's not really ironic...just ironic in the Allanis Morissette sense.
dammit...it's not really ironic...just ironic in the Allanis Morissette sense.
Isn't it ironic that I don't really like that song and now it's stuck in my head?
arrrrggggghhhhhhh
Isn't it ironic that I don't really like that song and now it's stuck in my head?
arrrrggggghhhhhhh
Wow, Flea, have you opened a big 'ol bag of workingmommy vs SAHMommy wormies! I know exactly what you're talking about, and it's why I'm no longer a participant on any parenting BBs.
Regarding the toilet issues: If Alex is peeing all over the house, put him back in diapers or Pull-Ups pronto. We went through this with Jake (and still do, on and off, as he edges into age 5). Jacob would pee or poop in his pants as a passive-aggressive measure. We completely stopped reacting to it, other than to say "okay, go to the bathroom, wipe up, and put on clean clothes." If he has accidents multiple days in a row, we take him off of underwear. When we took the "reward" of either pity/comfort or anger out of it, he got bored.
E-me any time for support. I promise not to (((HUGZ)))) you.
Wow, Flea, have you opened a big 'ol bag of workingmommy vs SAHMommy wormies! I know exactly what you're talking about, and it's why I'm no longer a participant on any parenting BBs.
Regarding the toilet issues: If Alex is peeing all over the house, put him back in diapers or Pull-Ups pronto. We went through this with Jake (and still do, on and off, as he edges into age 5). Jacob would pee or poop in his pants as a passive-aggressive measure. We completely stopped reacting to it, other than to say "okay, go to the bathroom, wipe up, and put on clean clothes." If he has accidents multiple days in a row, we take him off of underwear. When we took the "reward" of either pity/comfort or anger out of it, he got bored.
E-me any time for support. I promise not to (((HUGZ)))) you.
Oh, and for whomever said their cat is going outside the litter box? That's catspeak for "take me to the vet -- I feel sick." It may just be a simple bladder infection.
Oh, and for whomever said their cat is going outside the litter box? That's catspeak for "take me to the vet -- I feel sick." It may just be a simple bladder infection.
My son has SI issues, as well. I hadn't gotten him out of Pull-Ups when I sent him to preschool at 3 1/2. Where he absolutely had to be in underpants, I learned on day 2. (Insert swearing and crying jag here.) I started slow--he'd been going on the toilet sometimes, just not all the time. So I explained that he was going to wear big-boy underpants just for school (3 hours). He made it through the 3 hours without incident, and gradually increased the underpants time until he was completely diaper-free, even overnight.
I think he was more ready than I gave him credit for. But consider trying just a limited period of clean, dry undies, followed by returning to Pull-Ups. Maybe Alex'll insist on pissing and crapping in his underpants, and maybe he'll remove the undies and pee on the furniture. I just don't know. But give the limited-expectations route a try if you haven't already.
Lots of {{{hugs}}} (see, those are prickly, uncomfortable hugs with braces instead of parentheses)!
My son has SI issues, as well. I hadn't gotten him out of Pull-Ups when I sent him to preschool at 3 1/2. Where he absolutely had to be in underpants, I learned on day 2. (Insert swearing and crying jag here.) I started slow--he'd been going on the toilet sometimes, just not all the time. So I explained that he was going to wear big-boy underpants just for school (3 hours). He made it through the 3 hours without incident, and gradually increased the underpants time until he was completely diaper-free, even overnight.
I think he was more ready than I gave him credit for. But consider trying just a limited period of clean, dry undies, followed by returning to Pull-Ups. Maybe Alex'll insist on pissing and crapping in his underpants, and maybe he'll remove the undies and pee on the furniture. I just don't know. But give the limited-expectations route a try if you haven't already.
Lots of {{{hugs}}} (see, those are prickly, uncomfortable hugs with braces instead of parentheses)!
this is coming waaaaay after the fact - but funnie - you made me spit out my coffee.
thank you for being so funny, funnie.
this is coming waaaaay after the fact - but funnie - you made me spit out my coffee.
thank you for being so funny, funnie.
Oh--did you ask Alex's OT for advice? And maybe his teachers?
This one time, I was out shopping, and the kid (probably 2 1/2 to 3 at the time) didn't want to take his nap. Daddy instructed him that he must stay in bed. Except he had to go...and Daddy only said "stay in your room!" He took off his diaper, pooped on the bed, walked on the poop, and tracked it all over the bed. The diaper was spotless and ready for reuse, of course. It was so awesome--the clean-up had been completed before I even came home.
Oh--did you ask Alex's OT for advice? And maybe his teachers?
This one time, I was out shopping, and the kid (probably 2 1/2 to 3 at the time) didn't want to take his nap. Daddy instructed him that he must stay in bed. Except he had to go...and Daddy only said "stay in your room!" He took off his diaper, pooped on the bed, walked on the poop, and tracked it all over the bed. The diaper was spotless and ready for reuse, of course. It was so awesome--the clean-up had been completed before I even came home.
Why am I reading this while eating a bean burrito?
I think the idea of letting him pee outside is a good one. In the backyard,of course.
And,hey,I'm stay at home and I wasn't hurt or offended. In fact,I totally agree. Coupon swap,WTF?
Why am I reading this while eating a bean burrito?
I think the idea of letting him pee outside is a good one. In the backyard,of course.
And,hey,I'm stay at home and I wasn't hurt or offended. In fact,I totally agree. Coupon swap,WTF?
My son doesn't have any sensory issues (I think my daughter does), but holy shit, I think I'm going to be saying the same thing when my son is 5. He's potty challenged in the most annoying and non sensical way.
I have a friend who's little girl still wets her pants (at six). No other developmental issues but she just doesn't want to stop playing and she doesn't even notice that she's wet. She's done it at school and didn't even notice.
What I'm trying to say is he's not totally out of the range of normal. He is however in the range of driving you insane. I know I'm on month 6 since we went cold turkey off the diapers and we're having at least 3-5 accidents a week.
Hang in there and I have this overwhelming desire to send you lots and lots of (((((CYBERHUGZ))))))
happymommy2maddie&max
My son doesn't have any sensory issues (I think my daughter does), but holy shit, I think I'm going to be saying the same thing when my son is 5. He's potty challenged in the most annoying and non sensical way.
I have a friend who's little girl still wets her pants (at six). No other developmental issues but she just doesn't want to stop playing and she doesn't even notice that she's wet. She's done it at school and didn't even notice.
What I'm trying to say is he's not totally out of the range of normal. He is however in the range of driving you insane. I know I'm on month 6 since we went cold turkey off the diapers and we're having at least 3-5 accidents a week.
Hang in there and I have this overwhelming desire to send you lots and lots of (((((CYBERHUGZ))))))
happymommy2maddie&max
lp had a hard time with the potty-training, which went on (seemingly) forever. In the end, there was no incentive that worked, no reward that made it worth her while, and no big Clue as to why she would or would not use a toilet. Whatever the big secret was as to why she left diapers when she finally did, we never figured it out. The whole thing was a gigantic mystery, and we just sort of watched it, handing out pull-ups and cleaning poo out of undies as we went.
Shudder. I really, really, really didn't like that time.
Also: the men may not be waxing, they may be plucking. It's less painful and messy than wax, or so I'm told.
lp had a hard time with the potty-training, which went on (seemingly) forever. In the end, there was no incentive that worked, no reward that made it worth her while, and no big Clue as to why she would or would not use a toilet. Whatever the big secret was as to why she left diapers when she finally did, we never figured it out. The whole thing was a gigantic mystery, and we just sort of watched it, handing out pull-ups and cleaning poo out of undies as we went.
Shudder. I really, really, really didn't like that time.
Also: the men may not be waxing, they may be plucking. It's less painful and messy than wax, or so I'm told.
Well, shit. I did some scrapbooking as a christmas present for my step-mom and I really liked it. Line me up with the uncool moms!
Just kidding - seriously! I know exactly what you mean. I do some playgroups with my daughter because I think she ought to have some socialization with someone who says something other than "jesus christ, child, what are you getting into now" because I still haven't bothered to baby-proof my apartment.
I think part of the problem that leads to that sort of cutesy brain-deadness is that being a SAHM is brain-numbing. It's wash, rinse, repeat every single day and while you're almost constantly busy, you don't really have much to say. Scrapbooking and other small craft projects are things you can do that can get Done and Stay Done (unlike dishes, diapers, laundry, clean the livingroom, chase after the baby, go for walks, where's the damn sippy cup now? no, don't eat the catfood, please, baby - make dinner, will you PLEASE stop crying)
Well, shit. I did some scrapbooking as a christmas present for my step-mom and I really liked it. Line me up with the uncool moms!
Just kidding - seriously! I know exactly what you mean. I do some playgroups with my daughter because I think she ought to have some socialization with someone who says something other than "jesus christ, child, what are you getting into now" because I still haven't bothered to baby-proof my apartment.
I think part of the problem that leads to that sort of cutesy brain-deadness is that being a SAHM is brain-numbing. It's wash, rinse, repeat every single day and while you're almost constantly busy, you don't really have much to say. Scrapbooking and other small craft projects are things you can do that can get Done and Stay Done (unlike dishes, diapers, laundry, clean the livingroom, chase after the baby, go for walks, where's the damn sippy cup now? no, don't eat the catfood, please, baby - make dinner, will you PLEASE stop crying)
(cont)
I'm not sure why people say Stay at Home Momming is rewarding and fullfilling. It's not. It's a job. Like any other job, only you don't get lunch breaks or vacation or sick leave and you only have a few annoying co-workers who make you miserable rather than a lot of them.
Some days it's not so bad and some days it's pretty good and some days the only reason why the baby doesn't get left in a snowbank for the wolves to eat is that there aren't any snowbanks. Or wolves. And you're pretty sure the trashman won't take the baby home and adopt it and give it a wonderful inheritance.
I do what I do and mostly I'm ok with it, but I'm trying not to change who I am. I'm still the chick who wears the "lesbian witch" t-shirts and is a gamer geek and a sci-fi movie junkie.
(cont)
I'm not sure why people say Stay at Home Momming is rewarding and fullfilling. It's not. It's a job. Like any other job, only you don't get lunch breaks or vacation or sick leave and you only have a few annoying co-workers who make you miserable rather than a lot of them.
Some days it's not so bad and some days it's pretty good and some days the only reason why the baby doesn't get left in a snowbank for the wolves to eat is that there aren't any snowbanks. Or wolves. And you're pretty sure the trashman won't take the baby home and adopt it and give it a wonderful inheritance.
I do what I do and mostly I'm ok with it, but I'm trying not to change who I am. I'm still the chick who wears the "lesbian witch" t-shirts and is a gamer geek and a sci-fi movie junkie.
Your blog has become a daily read for me, I'm loving it!
I'm on the roller coaster of attempted conception, and have left many a forum because of behavior you describe. Who knew there was a such a bizarre subculture in the community of online motherhood.
I've no advice for your potty training issues, but I'll offer my condolences and best wishes for a quick solution.
Your blog has become a daily read for me, I'm loving it!
I'm on the roller coaster of attempted conception, and have left many a forum because of behavior you describe. Who knew there was a such a bizarre subculture in the community of online motherhood.
I've no advice for your potty training issues, but I'll offer my condolences and best wishes for a quick solution.
The "Mommy Wars" are such total bullshit. The fact is that most mothers, out of choice or necessity, end up both SAHMing and working at some point in their lives. I was a SAHM for almost three years. I was a SAHM on September 12th, the Day of the Coupon Swap. I got interested in feminism because I was an SAHM and felt totally isolated in a neighborhood of women who do not want to think. Going way back to what Bitch PhD and Penny said, it's more about the fact that most people don't care about books or politics or discussing much of anything. When I was a SAHM, I could still read a newspaper, for Pete's sake!
The "Mommy Wars" are such total bullshit. The fact is that most mothers, out of choice or necessity, end up both SAHMing and working at some point in their lives. I was a SAHM for almost three years. I was a SAHM on September 12th, the Day of the Coupon Swap. I got interested in feminism because I was an SAHM and felt totally isolated in a neighborhood of women who do not want to think. Going way back to what Bitch PhD and Penny said, it's more about the fact that most people don't care about books or politics or discussing much of anything. When I was a SAHM, I could still read a newspaper, for Pete's sake!
Not to mention that our culture seriously encourages women not to think (at the same time they give cheap shoutouts about "empowerment") from the Bratz dolls with those mouths that look like vaginas whose selling point is that they stand around and do nothing. Then so many people buy into that "I'm a mom so I'm always prepared for anything my family needs" crap, which I think is the actual slogan for Osco pharmacy now. They have these commercials where a woman pulls an entire Osco pharmacy out of her purse because "she's a mom." You know what's in my purse right now? My wallet, 5 matchbox cars and a brush full of hair.
Not to mention that our culture seriously encourages women not to think (at the same time they give cheap shoutouts about "empowerment") from the Bratz dolls with those mouths that look like vaginas whose selling point is that they stand around and do nothing. Then so many people buy into that "I'm a mom so I'm always prepared for anything my family needs" crap, which I think is the actual slogan for Osco pharmacy now. They have these commercials where a woman pulls an entire Osco pharmacy out of her purse because "she's a mom." You know what's in my purse right now? My wallet, 5 matchbox cars and a brush full of hair.
It's not you. I ran across the same hyper-mommy types with their DHs and DSs and DDs and smoochies and {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} on AOL. They are the most NAUSEATING people I have ever had the displeasure to meet. Even worse, they were angry second wives helping their DHs (ick) in their messy ugly divorce cases. These hyper-moms had in in for their husband's ex-wives, and they were HELL to deal with. They'd bash bio-mom's parenting while bragging about their own little genius's grades and little league batting averages. Gag!!!
It ain't you. Nosirree.
It's not you. I ran across the same hyper-mommy types with their DHs and DSs and DDs and smoochies and {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}} on AOL. They are the most NAUSEATING people I have ever had the displeasure to meet. Even worse, they were angry second wives helping their DHs (ick) in their messy ugly divorce cases. These hyper-moms had in in for their husband's ex-wives, and they were HELL to deal with. They'd bash bio-mom's parenting while bragging about their own little genius's grades and little league batting averages. Gag!!!
It ain't you. Nosirree.
Amy, I did ask them. His OT wants to see him twice a week now, and his teachers are taking him to the potty every half an hour. Most of the time he stays dry at school, but we went through a very ugly period about two weeks ago where he shat over everything in class and fought J. when she tried to change him.
Tracey, seriously! With expired coupons! That's what pushed me over the edge, I think.
Melissa - I could kill you, you are so evil. But thanks, that's good to know about your neighbor's little girl. If I just knew that Alex pooped at say 10 and 6, life would be so much easier. But he's so random it's really impossible to figure out when to put him on the potty.
Amy, I did ask them. His OT wants to see him twice a week now, and his teachers are taking him to the potty every half an hour. Most of the time he stays dry at school, but we went through a very ugly period about two weeks ago where he shat over everything in class and fought J. when she tried to change him.
Tracey, seriously! With expired coupons! That's what pushed me over the edge, I think.
Melissa - I could kill you, you are so evil. But thanks, that's good to know about your neighbor's little girl. If I just knew that Alex pooped at say 10 and 6, life would be so much easier. But he's so random it's really impossible to figure out when to put him on the potty.
Portia - Plucking! Fucking ow! And wouldn't that take forever? My god. Yeah, I'm afraid we're just going to have to grit our teeth and ride it out with Alex. There's nothing we can do about it really, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let him get away with pissing on my couch.
KT - I know it's hard, and I know it's mind-numbing. I hear you. But I really don't think it's a SAHM issue. I think some people tumble down a rabbit hole and get so involved in presenting this MOM image to the world, because they feel that they should, and because they don't really want to think about stuff, that they just become inacessible as people after awhile.
Portia - Plucking! Fucking ow! And wouldn't that take forever? My god. Yeah, I'm afraid we're just going to have to grit our teeth and ride it out with Alex. There's nothing we can do about it really, but I'll be damned if I'm going to let him get away with pissing on my couch.
KT - I know it's hard, and I know it's mind-numbing. I hear you. But I really don't think it's a SAHM issue. I think some people tumble down a rabbit hole and get so involved in presenting this MOM image to the world, because they feel that they should, and because they don't really want to think about stuff, that they just become inacessible as people after awhile.
Regarding the whole sack-wax thing... I'd have to guess that it would probably not be all that bad. Just as bad as getting hair violently ripped out of anywhere else, yes, and someone made an interesting comment about torque - but not so horrible.
The reason that guys don't like to get kicked in the nuts isn't that the berry-bag is particularly full of nerve-endings, but because the pain crawls back up inside of us, into our innards and makes us want to puke. That's how it is for me, anyway.
Regarding the whole sack-wax thing... I'd have to guess that it would probably not be all that bad. Just as bad as getting hair violently ripped out of anywhere else, yes, and someone made an interesting comment about torque - but not so horrible.
The reason that guys don't like to get kicked in the nuts isn't that the berry-bag is particularly full of nerve-endings, but because the pain crawls back up inside of us, into our innards and makes us want to puke. That's how it is for me, anyway.
Speak for yourself McB. Getting kicked in the nuts once a month really makes me feel alive. I'd kick myself if my foot would reach.
flea: Next time you think of one of the Stepford Wives, click here.
Speak for yourself McB. Getting kicked in the nuts once a month really makes me feel alive. I'd kick myself if my foot would reach.
flea: Next time you think of one of the Stepford Wives, click here.
I thought Trope's comment about the lack of fatty-tissue-anchorage was an inspired bit of science, personally. I think it's true, and it *explains* the torque.
I talk about this part of the post, flea, because I have no consoling stories or advice regarding potty-training, hair being ripped from genitals sounds less harrowing.
What I do know: you ARE cool as hell and impressively tough, you SHOULD be proud of being those things, and even your frustrated anger is a beautiful thing to behold (I just looked at those Bratz mouths. wow).
And it doesn't make anybody drab or lesser by comparison. I know what you mean, Eve, about being expected to not only do it all, but "look good doin' it," being always fun and sporty and cool and sexy and "up" rather than letting the grind get you down.
But that's the opposite of what I'm applauding in flea (and what I think she's criticizing), which is that she's tenaciously holding on to pieces of herself despite all of this.
I thought Trope's comment about the lack of fatty-tissue-anchorage was an inspired bit of science, personally. I think it's true, and it *explains* the torque.
I talk about this part of the post, flea, because I have no consoling stories or advice regarding potty-training, hair being ripped from genitals sounds less harrowing.
What I do know: you ARE cool as hell and impressively tough, you SHOULD be proud of being those things, and even your frustrated anger is a beautiful thing to behold (I just looked at those Bratz mouths. wow).
And it doesn't make anybody drab or lesser by comparison. I know what you mean, Eve, about being expected to not only do it all, but "look good doin' it," being always fun and sporty and cool and sexy and "up" rather than letting the grind get you down.
But that's the opposite of what I'm applauding in flea (and what I think she's criticizing), which is that she's tenaciously holding on to pieces of herself despite all of this.
flea. i have nothing useful to say, but am finally moved to share the fact that:
i adore your blog (it's the only one i read) and i adore you as much as one can from a internet perspective.
only in the past couple months have i tuned into the "comments" section and learned, lo and behold, that you've attracted so many other remarkable people. "table talk?" is this a cross-over salon.com crowd? it's so good to be reminded that there *are* others like yourself out there.
next time i'm visiting my parents in suburban heck (northern suburbs, but not so bad as the winnetka-sounding places you wrote about visiting), i hope to come down in our ancient used volvo and make some purchases at the store!
flea. i have nothing useful to say, but am finally moved to share the fact that:
i adore your blog (it's the only one i read) and i adore you as much as one can from a internet perspective.
only in the past couple months have i tuned into the "comments" section and learned, lo and behold, that you've attracted so many other remarkable people. "table talk?" is this a cross-over salon.com crowd? it's so good to be reminded that there *are* others like yourself out there.
next time i'm visiting my parents in suburban heck (northern suburbs, but not so bad as the winnetka-sounding places you wrote about visiting), i hope to come down in our ancient used volvo and make some purchases at the store!
flea, I read your blog daily and I'm a huge fan. I was going to recommend that you come to The Perfect World, and then I saw that Andrea already had! There's a thread called X-Treme Parenting for parents of kids with SI disorder and other issues, and I think you might find it really helpful (I'm not a parent but my mom's a special-needs teacher so I lurk on that thread a lot).
eleanor rigby
flea, I read your blog daily and I'm a huge fan. I was going to recommend that you come to The Perfect World, and then I saw that Andrea already had! There's a thread called X-Treme Parenting for parents of kids with SI disorder and other issues, and I think you might find it really helpful (I'm not a parent but my mom's a special-needs teacher so I lurk on that thread a lot).
eleanor rigby
This made me dig out my child psych book as there are two disorders involving going to the bathroom at inappropriate times. I'm not saying Alex would have one but I was looking more to see what this book suggested. All they had to say was behavioral therapy, which you could do by yourself. But if he's wetting the bed at night there is something called a bed alarm. It sets off an alarm or a vibration on the bed that would wake Alex up if he had an accident. I worked with an autistic boy who had a hard time learning potty training and he was just about Alex's age and would not go on the potty to save his life although he did enjoy looking at it. Not sure this was helpful but figured it couldn't hurt to check out my book. Good Luck!
Oh, and I've heard waxing is very painful so I'd say it was equally as painful. I had a boyfriend who shaved it all off and he said the itching was horrible.
This made me dig out my child psych book as there are two disorders involving going to the bathroom at inappropriate times. I'm not saying Alex would have one but I was looking more to see what this book suggested. All they had to say was behavioral therapy, which you could do by yourself. But if he's wetting the bed at night there is something called a bed alarm. It sets off an alarm or a vibration on the bed that would wake Alex up if he had an accident. I worked with an autistic boy who had a hard time learning potty training and he was just about Alex's age and would not go on the potty to save his life although he did enjoy looking at it. Not sure this was helpful but figured it couldn't hurt to check out my book. Good Luck!
Oh, and I've heard waxing is very painful so I'd say it was equally as painful. I had a boyfriend who shaved it all off and he said the itching was horrible.
I'm a feminist mom, have a little experience with this pooping situation from my grandson. He's now 12, but he had potty training issues due to emotional issues until he was nearly 8. Just seemed to us that he didn't want to use the john. The good news is that this does pass and eventually they give in.
as for the waxing, I knew a woman that waxed all the hair off of her body - had to be painful !!
I'm a feminist mom, have a little experience with this pooping situation from my grandson. He's now 12, but he had potty training issues due to emotional issues until he was nearly 8. Just seemed to us that he didn't want to use the john. The good news is that this does pass and eventually they give in.
as for the waxing, I knew a woman that waxed all the hair off of her body - had to be painful !!
"Even worse, they were angry second wives helping their DHs (ick) in their messy ugly divorce cases. These hyper-moms had in in for their husband's ex-wives, and they were HELL to deal with."
Did it never occur to those women that that could be them in 5 or 10 years? IOW, are they so blindly optimistic that they think there'll never be a 3rd wife helping the exDH in messy divorce #2?
"Even worse, they were angry second wives helping their DHs (ick) in their messy ugly divorce cases. These hyper-moms had in in for their husband's ex-wives, and they were HELL to deal with."
Did it never occur to those women that that could be them in 5 or 10 years? IOW, are they so blindly optimistic that they think there'll never be a 3rd wife helping the exDH in messy divorce #2?
OK, usual pee-related comment: As someone who was unsuccessfully "treated" with a bed alarm, DON'T INFLICT THIS ON YOUR KID! Ahm. Thank you for listening.
I hope things improve, but I also think that having potty-related problems at age 5 is within the normal range. Of course that doesn't mean it's not terribly frustrating...
And I thought MP was a CFer?
OK, usual pee-related comment: As someone who was unsuccessfully "treated" with a bed alarm, DON'T INFLICT THIS ON YOUR KID! Ahm. Thank you for listening.
I hope things improve, but I also think that having potty-related problems at age 5 is within the normal range. Of course that doesn't mean it's not terribly frustrating...
And I thought MP was a CFer?
One of the reasons that I really enjoy reading your blog is that you very much love your sons, are willing to talk about them in a way that lets me know your joy, pride, frustration, and wonder, and yet you never ever even remotely sound like a brainless zombie mom. It gives me hope.
One of the reasons that I really enjoy reading your blog is that you very much love your sons, are willing to talk about them in a way that lets me know your joy, pride, frustration, and wonder, and yet you never ever even remotely sound like a brainless zombie mom. It gives me hope.
Surely I can't be the only one who noticed that the husbands of Those Mothers were willing and able to talk about stuff other than childcare. Why? Because they are like the cool feminist moms who just buy what's on sale at Costco and are more pissed that their mother-in-law only buys their daughter pink clothes?
No, more likely that these women are doing *all* of that icky, female baby-care stuff, leaving their husbands free to drool over the sex toys. And they have a couple of choices, really: wax their hubby's ball sac until he gets a freaking clue, or hyperembrace their Mommy role.
I rather expect that if Those Mommies had been asking you about the sex toys, leaving Those Daddies to change diapers and chase toddlers around, Those Daddies would have reacted...poorly.
Surely I can't be the only one who noticed that the husbands of Those Mothers were willing and able to talk about stuff other than childcare. Why? Because they are like the cool feminist moms who just buy what's on sale at Costco and are more pissed that their mother-in-law only buys their daughter pink clothes?
No, more likely that these women are doing *all* of that icky, female baby-care stuff, leaving their husbands free to drool over the sex toys. And they have a couple of choices, really: wax their hubby's ball sac until he gets a freaking clue, or hyperembrace their Mommy role.
I rather expect that if Those Mommies had been asking you about the sex toys, leaving Those Daddies to change diapers and chase toddlers around, Those Daddies would have reacted...poorly.
Thanks, Heaven. It always gives me a sense of relief to hear another kid has gone through it and turned out fine.
Mythago - do you think the line is drawn that clearly - the moms who get to be "cool" are the moms who have partners that wash dishes and give the kids their baths and the moms that are "uncool" are the ones whose husbands don't lift a finger around the house?
Thanks, Heaven. It always gives me a sense of relief to hear another kid has gone through it and turned out fine.
Mythago - do you think the line is drawn that clearly - the moms who get to be "cool" are the moms who have partners that wash dishes and give the kids their baths and the moms that are "uncool" are the ones whose husbands don't lift a finger around the house?
I'd like to second the comment against bed alarms -- no personal experience but yikes, that just sounds so fucking mean. I forgot the other thing that helped with Jacob. I used to keep a calendar taped to the inside of the medicine cabinet door. Every time he went to the bathroom instead of going in his pants, he got a sticker for the day on the calendar. I would buy those pads of 1,000 tiny stickers at Target, and he could pick which one to put on the calendar. (He really had a thing for the yin/yang ones.)
We're dealing with other behavioral issues right now, and he gets a daily report card from school with his two issues on it, and a star next to each one he did well on for the day. It's been more successful than anything we've done -- puts the onus on him remembering his own behavior instead of how others react to him. Don't know if that helps, but we're still all here for ya!
I'd like to second the comment against bed alarms -- no personal experience but yikes, that just sounds so fucking mean. I forgot the other thing that helped with Jacob. I used to keep a calendar taped to the inside of the medicine cabinet door. Every time he went to the bathroom instead of going in his pants, he got a sticker for the day on the calendar. I would buy those pads of 1,000 tiny stickers at Target, and he could pick which one to put on the calendar. (He really had a thing for the yin/yang ones.)
We're dealing with other behavioral issues right now, and he gets a daily report card from school with his two issues on it, and a star next to each one he did well on for the day. It's been more successful than anything we've done -- puts the onus on him remembering his own behavior instead of how others react to him. Don't know if that helps, but we're still all here for ya!
There's just so much that makes me want to comment!
Bratz Doll Vagina Mouths -- eeew eww! I knew I hated those little sluts for yet another reason!
Coupon Swaps, especially with expired coupons -- there's no thought that currently depresses me more than clipping coupons for shit I don't use in the hopes that I can trade them for an extra $.20 off my next three canisters of Nescafe. WOW!
There's just so much that makes me want to comment!
Bratz Doll Vagina Mouths -- eeew eww! I knew I hated those little sluts for yet another reason!
Coupon Swaps, especially with expired coupons -- there's no thought that currently depresses me more than clipping coupons for shit I don't use in the hopes that I can trade them for an extra $.20 off my next three canisters of Nescafe. WOW!
Flea, I"m right there wit ya on the stupid mom thing. I started avoiding playgroups because I couldn't find a single feminist to have an intelligent conversation with. I finally found ONE after living in this suburban hell for 9 months. And it has nothing to do with SAHM or WAHM. It's the individual. SAH does make it easier for your brain to turn to shit, but hell, why don't they at least try to fight it? Or not roll their eyes when I start to deconstruct gender roles, toys that encourage stereotypes, etc?
I did vomit the day someone told me I was wasting Dev's "girliness" by never putting "pretty" "pink" clothes on her. Sigh.
Flea, I"m right there wit ya on the stupid mom thing. I started avoiding playgroups because I couldn't find a single feminist to have an intelligent conversation with. I finally found ONE after living in this suburban hell for 9 months. And it has nothing to do with SAHM or WAHM. It's the individual. SAH does make it easier for your brain to turn to shit, but hell, why don't they at least try to fight it? Or not roll their eyes when I start to deconstruct gender roles, toys that encourage stereotypes, etc?
I did vomit the day someone told me I was wasting Dev's "girliness" by never putting "pretty" "pink" clothes on her. Sigh.
Maybe this is because I am not a mommy (okay, almost certainly is), but what on earth does DH, DD, DS, CF, etc. mean? I'm so lost...
Maybe this is because I am not a mommy (okay, almost certainly is), but what on earth does DH, DD, DS, CF, etc. mean? I'm so lost...
DH = Darling/Dumb Husband
DD/S = Darling Daughter/Son
xIL = Anyone-in-law
CF = C**t Fu**ing?
DH = Darling/Dumb Husband
DD/S = Darling Daughter/Son
xIL = Anyone-in-law
CF = C**t Fu**ing?
Ay.
The waxing thing - it's what's on the inside that is so sensitive. The skin itself is not much more sensative than other parts. I would pluck to keep the matter in control, the torque thing would not be a good thing with waxing.
The kid thing - mine, 4 and 4 1/2 for "full" potty training (not 100% effective still). Sucked. The older one still has overnight problems. We bought one of those alarm things, but the idea of it freaked him out so bad we could not get it to work. Not sure if it would have "solved" anything.
Moms suck, can't even begin to compete in the "my kids better than the rest" competition. And of course, as you know, the behavioral problems are ALL the parent's fault!
Ay.
The waxing thing - it's what's on the inside that is so sensitive. The skin itself is not much more sensative than other parts. I would pluck to keep the matter in control, the torque thing would not be a good thing with waxing.
The kid thing - mine, 4 and 4 1/2 for "full" potty training (not 100% effective still). Sucked. The older one still has overnight problems. We bought one of those alarm things, but the idea of it freaked him out so bad we could not get it to work. Not sure if it would have "solved" anything.
Moms suck, can't even begin to compete in the "my kids better than the rest" competition. And of course, as you know, the behavioral problems are ALL the parent's fault!
has no interest in the potty whatsoever, except that it goes 'flush'. Seriously, he will occasionally sit on it, refuse to do anything into it, beg to flush, and the minute he's off he'll do both in his pants. At least it's not just me.
Trust me, it's not just you. My 7 yr old with specials needs is this to a T.
flea, I'm feelin' ya on the "MOM" thing. It's why I've never been able to find an online support group for parents of kids with special needs that didn't make me want to run screaming from the room. And they make me feel so inadequate with their "I-spend-every-waking-minute-researching-my-child'
s-condition-and-trying-new-theraputic/behavioral/
dietary-techniques-and-when-I'm-not-doing-that-we'
re-making-clever-crafts-with-the-cardboard-from-
rolls-of-toilet-paper-while-the-homemade-4-layer-
birthday-cake-for-DD-is-in-the-oven..."
Anyhow, you know what I'm talkin about. 
has no interest in the potty whatsoever, except that it goes 'flush'. Seriously, he will occasionally sit on it, refuse to do anything into it, beg to flush, and the minute he's off he'll do both in his pants. At least it's not just me.
Trust me, it's not just you. My 7 yr old with specials needs is this to a T.
flea, I'm feelin' ya on the "MOM" thing. It's why I've never been able to find an online support group for parents of kids with special needs that didn't make me want to run screaming from the room. And they make me feel so inadequate with their "I-spend-every-waking-minute-researching-my-child'
s-condition-and-trying-new-theraputic/behavioral/
dietary-techniques-and-when-I'm-not-doing-that-we'
re-making-clever-crafts-with-the-cardboard-from-
rolls-of-toilet-paper-while-the-homemade-4-layer-
birthday-cake-for-DD-is-in-the-oven..."
Anyhow, you know what I'm talkin about.
Deja pseu, I can't thank you enough for what you just wrote. You have absolutely no idea how badly I needed to read something like that.
Deja pseu, I can't thank you enough for what you just wrote. You have absolutely no idea how badly I needed to read something like that.
flea, re: time to pluck...many men spend a great deal of time on the toilet. I'm just sayin'. Also, plucking in general bothers some but not others; I can pluck just about anything, but I can't stand wax anywhere.
Also also: nothing brings everyone out of the woodwork like poop stories, nosirreebob!
Ruby! Don't you want to dwess pwetty Dev in the pwetty pink dwesses? Coochie coo? SWAK.
flea, re: time to pluck...many men spend a great deal of time on the toilet. I'm just sayin'. Also, plucking in general bothers some but not others; I can pluck just about anything, but I can't stand wax anywhere.
Also also: nothing brings everyone out of the woodwork like poop stories, nosirreebob!
Ruby! Don't you want to dwess pwetty Dev in the pwetty pink dwesses? Coochie coo? SWAK.
Hey Flea. Have you ever considered beginning your own online e-list for parents who want to discuss these issues intelligently? Being a visually impaired adult, I monitor a list for the parents of blind children, and make my own suggestions there from time to time. Most of the posts flowing through that e-mail group are well-considered additions to whatever topic is up for discussion.
Hey Flea. Have you ever considered beginning your own online e-list for parents who want to discuss these issues intelligently? Being a visually impaired adult, I monitor a list for the parents of blind children, and make my own suggestions there from time to time. Most of the posts flowing through that e-mail group are well-considered additions to whatever topic is up for discussion.
Personally, when I'm not spending every waking minute researching my child's condition and trying new theraputic/behavioral/dietary technique, I'm drinkin' vodka.
Personally, when I'm not spending every waking minute researching my child's condition and trying new theraputic/behavioral/dietary technique, I'm drinkin' vodka.
Great post. I can't offer any advice about toileting--our second took his own sweet time, but that phase is now lost in the murky blur of protective non-memory.
On the MOMMIES thing, I think it's not necessarily a working vs. stay-home distinction--and I didn't think you were necessarily trying to say it was. Some working mothers I've met seem to talk about nothing but their kids (and get oddly defensive about their work, even knowing they're talking to a fellow working mother), and some staying-home mothers (including me, briefly, in that murky past) have plenty of other interests. It does seem as if some, working and not, make their maternal status the #1 aspect of their identify... This is definitely where freedom of association comes in--to the extent we can identify each other in a timely fashion, let us all stay away from each other...I'm sure there's something defeatist about that, and we should all be "reaching out" and finding "common ground," but I say the hell
Great post. I can't offer any advice about toileting--our second took his own sweet time, but that phase is now lost in the murky blur of protective non-memory.
On the MOMMIES thing, I think it's not necessarily a working vs. stay-home distinction--and I didn't think you were necessarily trying to say it was. Some working mothers I've met seem to talk about nothing but their kids (and get oddly defensive about their work, even knowing they're talking to a fellow working mother), and some staying-home mothers (including me, briefly, in that murky past) have plenty of other interests. It does seem as if some, working and not, make their maternal status the #1 aspect of their identify... This is definitely where freedom of association comes in--to the extent we can identify each other in a timely fashion, let us all stay away from each other...I'm sure there's something defeatist about that, and we should all be "reaching out" and finding "common ground," but I say the hell
Well, I have no children, and hence, no potty training stories. But my parents have a cat who will not poop in the litterbox. She poops on the tile floor in the room the litterbox is in. She's always done this, she's not sick or anything, just seems to have a preference for the tile floor. She won't even go in an empty litterbox. Thankfully, it's easy to clean up that way.
I suspect those Moms aren't just like that about parenting. I think they used to be the same women who over decorate their workspaces with Kountry Kitsch, and wear those hideous appliqued sweatshirts with Peter Pan collars. Gack!!
Well, I have no children, and hence, no potty training stories. But my parents have a cat who will not poop in the litterbox. She poops on the tile floor in the room the litterbox is in. She's always done this, she's not sick or anything, just seems to have a preference for the tile floor. She won't even go in an empty litterbox. Thankfully, it's easy to clean up that way.
I suspect those Moms aren't just like that about parenting. I think they used to be the same women who over decorate their workspaces with Kountry Kitsch, and wear those hideous appliqued sweatshirts with Peter Pan collars. Gack!!
Flea, glad to be of service.
MaryGarth's comment about identity is an interesting one. When Sam was still a baby, our neurologist made a comment to the effect of "you don't have to be The Family With The Handicapped Kid". Looking back, I realize she was talking about how we were going to shape our identity as a family. She told us that a lot of families with kids with special needs are still able to build pretty normal lives for themselves, and I think we've done that.
Flea, glad to be of service.
MaryGarth's comment about identity is an interesting one. When Sam was still a baby, our neurologist made a comment to the effect of "you don't have to be The Family With The Handicapped Kid". Looking back, I realize she was talking about how we were going to shape our identity as a family. She told us that a lot of families with kids with special needs are still able to build pretty normal lives for themselves, and I think we've done that.
Potty training - I have a 6-year-old with Cerebral Palsy who only became fully potty trained in the past year.
My suggestion is put the pull-ups on for a while and reward him for staying clean/dry for some period of time (if he responds to such things). My son was never particularly interested in using the toilet, but I think most of the time he just got caught up in whatever he was doing and didn't think about it (he also has some sensory issues related to the CP which I believe delay him in feeling the need to go). At some point he'll grow out of it.
And Those Moms? Absolutely a state of mind, not a matter of staying at home. And I do think they're the ones whose spouses don't do shit around the house - mostly because she never expects him to. These women have never taken the time to create a identity of their own, so they disappear into mommydom.
Potty training - I have a 6-year-old with Cerebral Palsy who only became fully potty trained in the past year.
My suggestion is put the pull-ups on for a while and reward him for staying clean/dry for some period of time (if he responds to such things). My son was never particularly interested in using the toilet, but I think most of the time he just got caught up in whatever he was doing and didn't think about it (he also has some sensory issues related to the CP which I believe delay him in feeling the need to go). At some point he'll grow out of it.
And Those Moms? Absolutely a state of mind, not a matter of staying at home. And I do think they're the ones whose spouses don't do shit around the house - mostly because she never expects him to. These women have never taken the time to create a identity of their own, so they disappear into mommydom.
Hi Flea,
I think when you're smart and empathetic, and you're both. A lot of the people you meet won't be all that helpful. It's unfortunate that so many people are unable to listen or be supportive to anyone else. But I don't think it has much to with being a mother or staying home or working. I have a friend who always says at least half the people in the world are below average. Hang in there.
Hi Flea,
I think when you're smart and empathetic, and you're both. A lot of the people you meet won't be all that helpful. It's unfortunate that so many people are unable to listen or be supportive to anyone else. But I don't think it has much to with being a mother or staying home or working. I have a friend who always says at least half the people in the world are below average. Hang in there.
I have a dear friend whose 6-year-old son has serious potty issues, along with some other behavioral problems. They believe he can control his bowel movements and that he's having them at inappropriate times to communicate his stresses/anxieties/etc. They've been living with it for four years, everywhere they go. Very, very difficult and troubling for their entire family, as well as for the little guy. Good luck with your son. I get the feeling that there's no one right answer, but it was somewhat helpful to see so many people who have experienced similar problems themselves or with their own children.
I have a dear friend whose 6-year-old son has serious potty issues, along with some other behavioral problems. They believe he can control his bowel movements and that he's having them at inappropriate times to communicate his stresses/anxieties/etc. They've been living with it for four years, everywhere they go. Very, very difficult and troubling for their entire family, as well as for the little guy. Good luck with your son. I get the feeling that there's no one right answer, but it was somewhat helpful to see so many people who have experienced similar problems themselves or with their own children.
Also, can someone provide a link to this Perfect World place, particularly the SID discussion? I've never heard of the site, and the one I found doesn't seem to have a discussion on x-treme parenting or SID. My daughter definitely has a sensory integration problem, and we're just now learning what that is.
Thanks [she says sheepishly, hoping nobody will think she'll turn into one of those moms who spends all day researching her kid's problem]!
Also, can someone provide a link to this Perfect World place, particularly the SID discussion? I've never heard of the site, and the one I found doesn't seem to have a discussion on x-treme parenting or SID. My daughter definitely has a sensory integration problem, and we're just now learning what that is.
Thanks [she says sheepishly, hoping nobody will think she'll turn into one of those moms who spends all day researching her kid's problem]!
bhw, I think we've all spent days on the internet Google searching our child's particular ailment. No worries there!
bhw, I think we've all spent days on the internet Google searching our child's particular ailment. No worries there!
Thank you.
Thank you.
Hey Flea.
My daughter took a long time to potty train, and for some reason I can't remember what worked. I really think we just gave up and put her back in pullups.
Although, from a psych perspective, reinforcements only! Ignore the bad, reward the good.
It's easier to cuss and freak out, though. I remember with N, I would BEG that girl to go in the toilet. We had the opposite problem in that she would hold it and not poop for 7-10 days. It was awful.
(continued)
Hey Flea.
My daughter took a long time to potty train, and for some reason I can't remember what worked. I really think we just gave up and put her back in pullups.
Although, from a psych perspective, reinforcements only! Ignore the bad, reward the good.
It's easier to cuss and freak out, though. I remember with N, I would BEG that girl to go in the toilet. We had the opposite problem in that she would hold it and not poop for 7-10 days. It was awful.
(continued)
On the "mommy" thing -- I know what you mean, totally. It drives me BONKERS and I always felt so isolated when I was a SAHM because I couldn't relate to anyone, and vice-versa.
I think that not every woman really develops many interests, or gets good at things, etc. They expect to become wives and mothers with that as their sole purpose, and so once that happens, they see it as "real life" beginning. They thow themselves into it in a way that to you and I seems... scary. They will mother and do crafts and grandmother and do crafts and so forth, and most of them will be happy. It's not me, and I can't even convincingly communiciate with women like that, but I guess for some, that's bliss.
On the "mommy" thing -- I know what you mean, totally. It drives me BONKERS and I always felt so isolated when I was a SAHM because I couldn't relate to anyone, and vice-versa.
I think that not every woman really develops many interests, or gets good at things, etc. They expect to become wives and mothers with that as their sole purpose, and so once that happens, they see it as "real life" beginning. They thow themselves into it in a way that to you and I seems... scary. They will mother and do crafts and grandmother and do crafts and so forth, and most of them will be happy. It's not me, and I can't even convincingly communiciate with women like that, but I guess for some, that's bliss.
I can't believe this post got 90 comments, without most of the comments being mine.
Tishie, I think you're right. I think most people just want to feel like if they do exactly what is expected of them, they'll be happy. My mother-in-law is like that. She's the most unhappy person I've ever met, but she thinks that there's something wrong with her, instead of thinking there's something wrong with expecting all women to want the same things out of life.
I can't believe this post got 90 comments, without most of the comments being mine.
Tishie, I think you're right. I think most people just want to feel like if they do exactly what is expected of them, they'll be happy. My mother-in-law is like that. She's the most unhappy person I've ever met, but she thinks that there's something wrong with her, instead of thinking there's something wrong with expecting all women to want the same things out of life.
Flea, check out the article in Friday's NY Times--it's about siblings of autistic kids, and doesn't mention potty issues at all, BUT it mentions a couple of research centers/schools who deal with autistic kids. (Douglass Developmental Disabilities Center at Rutgers is one)--they might have some help for you.
Flea, check out the article in Friday's NY Times--it's about siblings of autistic kids, and doesn't mention potty issues at all, BUT it mentions a couple of research centers/schools who deal with autistic kids. (Douglass Developmental Disabilities Center at Rutgers is one)--they might have some help for you.
flea, I'm sorry, I have absolutely no advice for you. I've never had children, never will and my nephew's only a year old.
The argument over SAHM & WM is not a big deal for me. The one that I end up being a part of is "Why don't you want to have children? You're a horrible woman."
The reason I read your site and not one of the baby boards is because those women freak me the hell out, all they talk about is how perfect their lives are. You're interesting and funny and have something important to say. You're not perfect and you're not afraid to tell people to go to hell if they don't like it.
Oh and I am one of those people that uses scrapbooking as a verb. But I'm usually scrapbooking pictures of karaoke or road trips. With the occasional picture of the nephew. Please don't hate me.
flea, I'm sorry, I have absolutely no advice for you. I've never had children, never will and my nephew's only a year old.
The argument over SAHM & WM is not a big deal for me. The one that I end up being a part of is "Why don't you want to have children? You're a horrible woman."
The reason I read your site and not one of the baby boards is because those women freak me the hell out, all they talk about is how perfect their lives are. You're interesting and funny and have something important to say. You're not perfect and you're not afraid to tell people to go to hell if they don't like it.
Oh and I am one of those people that uses scrapbooking as a verb. But I'm usually scrapbooking pictures of karaoke or road trips. With the occasional picture of the nephew. Please don't hate me.
the moms who get to be "cool" are the moms who have partners that wash dishes and give the kids their baths and the moms that are "uncool" are the ones whose husbands don't lift a finger around the house?
Hm, maybe I was being vague. What I mean is that we seem to look at the moms, and how involved they are in childcare and how much they talk about their other interests, but nobody turns to the hubby and says "Dude, maybe she'd have half an hour to read a book if you, y'know, changed a fucking diaper once in a while."
the moms who get to be "cool" are the moms who have partners that wash dishes and give the kids their baths and the moms that are "uncool" are the ones whose husbands don't lift a finger around the house?
Hm, maybe I was being vague. What I mean is that we seem to look at the moms, and how involved they are in childcare and how much they talk about their other interests, but nobody turns to the hubby and says "Dude, maybe she'd have half an hour to read a book if you, y'know, changed a fucking diaper once in a while."
Some sf fans out there, especially the readers of the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, may remember Reginald Bretner, who also wrote under the name of Grendel Briarton. Among other things, he wrote short-shorts about Ferdinand Feghoot.
As I remember it, Ferdinand's son, Ferdinand Junior, also had a potty training problem, particularly bed wetting. And his parents installed a wet-bed alarm that rang a bell, loudly.
Finally, one morning, his parents celebrated a full night with no bell ringing. But when they went to congratulate their proud and beaming son, they discovered his bed was as wet as usual. The talented child had managed to disconnect the alarm.
A spanking ensued, much to the child's surprise. "And what did you expect?" asked Ferdinand Feghoot. "The Nobel Peace Prize?"
*daha*
Some sf fans out there, especially the readers of the Magazine of Fantasy and Science Fiction, may remember Reginald Bretner, who also wrote under the name of Grendel Briarton. Among other things, he wrote short-shorts about Ferdinand Feghoot.
As I remember it, Ferdinand's son, Ferdinand Junior, also had a potty training problem, particularly bed wetting. And his parents installed a wet-bed alarm that rang a bell, loudly.
Finally, one morning, his parents celebrated a full night with no bell ringing. But when they went to congratulate their proud and beaming son, they discovered his bed was as wet as usual. The talented child had managed to disconnect the alarm.
A spanking ensued, much to the child's surprise. "And what did you expect?" asked Ferdinand Feghoot. "The Nobel Peace Prize?"
*daha*
"...we seem to look at the moms, and how involved they are in childcare and how much they talk about their other interests, but nobody turns to the hubby and says "Dude, maybe she'd have half an hour to read a book if you, y'know, changed a fucking diaper once in a while."
__________________________
Well, I think the assumption is still that men aren't in charge in the house, and only give second-rate care when they try to "help". (My partner is a SAHD, so that's obviously not my view.) I've not managed to get past small talk with too many of the women in my neighborhood to know their division of labor, but the SAHMs I do know well turn over childcare duties when their partners come home. (with one exception)
"...we seem to look at the moms, and how involved they are in childcare and how much they talk about their other interests, but nobody turns to the hubby and says "Dude, maybe she'd have half an hour to read a book if you, y'know, changed a fucking diaper once in a while."
__________________________
Well, I think the assumption is still that men aren't in charge in the house, and only give second-rate care when they try to "help". (My partner is a SAHD, so that's obviously not my view.) I've not managed to get past small talk with too many of the women in my neighborhood to know their division of labor, but the SAHMs I do know well turn over childcare duties when their partners come home. (with one exception)
It's kind of funny how you talk about all these SAHMs acting like they are so much better than the other Mommies. And you seem to differentiate yourself from them, because of course you're a better Mommy --- uhhm, aren't you doing the same thing?
Why can't all Moms (feminist or not) just not be so judgemental. If you don't care what kind of diapers you buy? Why should you care if some Mommies buy what they wanna buy?
It's kind of funny how you talk about all these SAHMs acting like they are so much better than the other Mommies. And you seem to differentiate yourself from them, because of course you're a better Mommy --- uhhm, aren't you doing the same thing?
Why can't all Moms (feminist or not) just not be so judgemental. If you don't care what kind of diapers you buy? Why should you care if some Mommies buy what they wanna buy?
I think *everybody* is judgemental. Everybody. Every single person on the planet. Every time you have an opinion about anything, you are making a value judgement. In fact, SAHM is judging me right now. SAHM, why the judging? To ask mothers to either a) all get along with each other or 2) never, ever speak of any sort of dissatisfaction each other, even over things as trivial as conversational topics is really asking too much.
And how does it translate that because I can't relate to these kinds of women it means I must think I'm a better mother than they are? At no point in any of my writing have I ever claimed to be a better mother than anybody. In fact, that's why most mothers read me, to feel better about their own mothering skills. You're just pulling that assumption right out of your ass. It's possible to not like someone and still think they're a good mother, isn't it? And for the eighth time, this isn't a SAHM v. working mom battle, so knock it off.
I think *everybody* is judgemental. Everybody. Every single person on the planet. Every time you have an opinion about anything, you are making a value judgement. In fact, SAHM is judging me right now. SAHM, why the judging? To ask mothers to either a) all get along with each other or 2) never, ever speak of any sort of dissatisfaction each other, even over things as trivial as conversational topics is really asking too much.
And how does it translate that because I can't relate to these kinds of women it means I must think I'm a better mother than they are? At no point in any of my writing have I ever claimed to be a better mother than anybody. In fact, that's why most mothers read me, to feel better about their own mothering skills. You're just pulling that assumption right out of your ass. It's possible to not like someone and still think they're a good mother, isn't it? And for the eighth time, this isn't a SAHM v. working mom battle, so knock it off.
"If you don't care what kind of diapers you buy? Why should you care if some Mommies buy what they wanna buy?"
And this didn't make any sense at all.
"If you don't care what kind of diapers you buy? Why should you care if some Mommies buy what they wanna buy?"
And this didn't make any sense at all.
Every time you have an opinion about anything, you are making a value judgement
Making judgments != "being judgmental."
Well, I think the assumption is still that men aren't in charge in the house, and only give second-rate care when they try to "help".
Deliberately giving only second-rate care is a good way to convince the wife that she needs to focus on diapers, so hubby can go hang out with the cool chick who sells dildoes.
Every time you have an opinion about anything, you are making a value judgement
Making judgments != "being judgmental."
Well, I think the assumption is still that men aren't in charge in the house, and only give second-rate care when they try to "help".
Deliberately giving only second-rate care is a good way to convince the wife that she needs to focus on diapers, so hubby can go hang out with the cool chick who sells dildoes.
I think now you're just picking a fight where none is warranted.
I think now you're just picking a fight where none is warranted.
Huh? I'm not picking a fight. I'm just sad about how it's always mom vs. mom and nobody gives a fuck about dad's contributing to the Stepford Diaper Purchaser problem.
Huh? I'm not picking a fight. I'm just sad about how it's always mom vs. mom and nobody gives a fuck about dad's contributing to the Stepford Diaper Purchaser problem.
Get hold of a copy of this book:
Nathan H. Azrin & Richard M. Foxx.
Toilet Training in Less than a Day. Techniques to help potty training that may be of benefit to autistic children. It has an appendix outlining some experiences with children with special needs. ISBN: 0671693808
I potty-trained my daughter (in a few hours) and my severely autistic son (in about six months). I had to take my son to the bathroom every fifteen minutes for the first few days, then we gradually lengthened the time, but we were successful in the end.
I think Azrin and Foxx also put out another book specifically for potty training disabled kids, but I'm not sure of the title. Find a pediatrician who specializes in developmental issues (if you haven't already) and see if you can find an applied behavioral analysis (ABA) therapist in your area to help.
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