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hahahahaha... that's better than the time my little sister had been goofing around all through a summer mass at our tiny church. no stranger to sarcasm even at such a young age, her top-volume response to my question "What are you doing?" was "I'm picking my nose!"
She wasn't. But she did get a (subdued) laugh out of half the church - the old ladies sitting around us were just tickled. Even the priest celebrating mass looked up for a second, confused by the outburst.
File this one under great stories to tell his date someday.
LOL. That's great.
My favorite was the time the very nice guy from across the street was over doing some electrical work for us at a discount rate, and pseudonymous kid announced at the top of his lungs, "Mama, your nipples are melting!"
I swear to god I have no idea what he meant, but it sure didn't sound good.
Wow, it must have been really hot that day, huh?
Oh, god, stop it, I'm going to have an accident...
lmao...
My boy went through a period where he would punch himself in the crotch in public and laugh hysterically. The looks I got were amazing.
Not much better.
flea. that is the funniest thing i've ever read in my entire life. where the hell did he come up with that?!
Oh my. That just cracked me up.
I'm waiting for my son's obsession to start.
I'm stifling so much laughter, my coworkers probably think I'm nuts.
Ah, so many stories to tell...I know of other "penis" outbursts, but not from my son. My son stared at people in the line at the post office as I purchased some stamps. As we turned to go, he said, "Momma, look. It's Captain Hook." I scanned the faces of the people in line and only realized as I looked back down at my son that he was pointing at a man with prosthetic hooks on the ends of his arms.
Mmm, ladybugs! Love 'em! And they shriek so satisfyingly when you've got them on your fork.
You'd think I'd be interested in the penis story, but no. I work with seventh graders. It's the bug stories that get me.
That's hysterical!
My SO and stepson were in a McD's and playing with action figures from Toy Story. Stepson announced, at full volume, "You have a big Woody and I have a little Woody!"
Laughing so I hard I started to cry. Absolutely priceless.
Howls. Wipes tears away. You just made my day.
I only have daughters, so no penis stories (although I did write one about my nephew on my blog)
But back in the 70's, one Sunday at church, when we were having the moment of silence, my younger sister took the opportunity to sing (loudly) a popular song of the day: her high little girl voice belted out "If you want my body and you think I'm sexy, come on sugar let me know!"
You and Angelina Jolie have something in common. You eat bugs. 
Hilarious! The big question being, "Just like his dad" in having a huge package or in claiming to have a huge package (best left rhetorical?).
Sorry to hear of the awful affliction of the family (ear infection-wise, not big package-wise), and hope you all make a rapid return to good health.
Aren't kids great?
Best for me was at mass about a decade ago. Father was trying to teach a lesson in forgiveness (this guy was just not good with kids), and asked a young girl what does your mother say when you tell her you're sorry? And in a big loud voice, the girl answers "You should be!". The whole church starts laughing, the mother tries to will a black hole to open up underneath her, and the priest responds back with "and what would a good mother say?" To which there were loud gasps of disbelief. Like I said, the guy wasn't good with kids.
To this day, the phrase "what would a good mother say?" gets hauled out at family reunions for a good laugh.
Morrigan, oh my god! It sounds like that priest wasn't very good with anybody.
Wyzardess, he just picked it up on his own. This is about the age where little boys discover their Glorious Penis, and it's such great news they want to share it with everybody.
Our next door neighbors had a little girl who came running naked into the room when Daddy was playing poker with his buddies, with a pen sticking out of her vagina, to excitedly tell him she'd found her body had a pocket that was perfect for holding stuff. So it's not just boys.
And as far as Steve's claims versus reality goes - I'll never tell!
I got a chicken sandwich that was raw on the inside one time and the manager said: "Do you want me to call the cook out here and yell at him? 'Cause I will." Then he offered to get me a new sandwich.
Uh, thanks, but yelling at a 17 year old kid ain't my bag. And if you do that and then tell him to make me a new one, I will definitely have it without mayo, if you know what I mean...
ROTFL. My favorite part is probably the husband's reaction. I bet he still tells that story at dinner parties.
Very reminiscent of a day long ago when Kevin graduated from pull-ups to his first pair of real underwear. When I dropped him off at day care, he pulled down his pants to show them off to the director. All I could think of to say to her was, "Just like his dad!"
I, too, have a large penis; but I've never broadcast that fact in a chain restaurant before.
blog comments, yes; restaurant, no.
*laughing*
I don't know which is funnier -- Christopher's initial comment, or the man's follow-up!
That was a damn funny story. Nice to know he and his father are well endowed.
I was changing my 1 1/2 year old son's diaper in front of my 9 year old neice. She commented that my son was touching his penis. I matter of factly stated, "well, of course. It's the only chance he gets. Once you're out of diapers, you can touch it any time you want." She responded that she touches hers every night, which she likes, but it makes her hand smell.
What do you say to that?
Aren't kids great? My son was about four, came walking out of the bedroom when called for supper, wearing nothing but a baseball cap on his itty-bitty erection. With obvious pride, he yelled (why do they always yell this stuff?), "Look mommy! I have a hat rack!"
We almost lost grandma on that one...
Dammit, I may have to get kids now just for the laughter. This was great!
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