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Taylor is a lucky little girl to have you as "Santa" this year.
She is lucky.
I see from the sidebar that Alex is reading Bridge to Terabithia. How is that going?
My daughter is 2. I almost never venture into the "Pink Isles." Lately I've been making her puppets so that we can both play with them together. For toys, I lean toward construction toys and art supplies. My little girl loves to build and is showing quite a gift for problem-solving as she does it.
I can count on her grandmothers and my sister to keep her supplied with girly stuff but I've drawn the line at anything Bratz, ever.
It's kinda funny to me that the boys get the cool toys and the girls get the cool clothes. I feel like by ignoring the poisonous pink products, I get the best of both worlds. (All that pink makes me think of pepto and the result is a nasty stomach ache.)
Carmen - Meh. He's not actually reading it. I just put it there because it's a children's book and the other children's book review had been up there too long. It's cheating, I know.
Andi - Steve and I were discussing the other night about how easy it is to fall in that girlie trap - look what I did! All I really cared about was making Taylor (temporarily) happy, and if smearing silver glitter across her cheeks would do the trick, so be it. If I'd had daughters of my own, I may have been more hardcore. Who buys those Bratz dolls? Do they justify it the same way I did buying the pink hat and scarf?
I used to do this in New York - it was a fantastic program run by the postal service and I miss doing it. I still have the letters I answered over the years. Thanks for publicizing and giving the info for this year!
For what it's worth, I have a girl and she went through a Bratz-crazy phase a couple of years ago (she's nine now). I indulged it to a certain degree (I mean, there were LIMITS, okay?) and she eventually got bored with it and now she hates all that Bratz crap. So either I accidentally did something right, or I got REALLY lucky.
Oh, and several years ago when I was single and working for peanuts and really couldn't afford it, I took a name off the Salvation Army tree. I got a teenage girl and bought her a bunch of really cute stuff, wrapped it, brought it back to the mall to drop it off and then later that day I heard on the news that a Salvation Army truck had been hijacked right after picking up a load of gifts and all the gifts were stolen. I never found out for sure if my gift was one of the ones on that truck, and it absolutely made me sick. I still get queasy just thinking about it. Who would do something like that?! What is wrong with people?
I think your idea about replacing the coat with those beautiful boxes is right on. I'm doubt these kids have very many beautiful objects in their lives. I'm sure she'll treasure them.
This is the Sun Times thing, right? I do this every year.
This gear, my little girl -- Yulissa -- asked for "a teddy bear, a Bratz doll, and clothes."
Which, you know, broke my heart. She's in the first grade.
So I got to go crazy at Target, too, getting new jeans and a cute shirt. I was able to pick up the other stuff at Marshalls. I think Bratz dolls are weird, and you should have seen the look on my husband's face when I pulled it out of the bag, but damn it, if that's what she wants, I'm buying it.
Anyway, shopping for these kids is my favorite Christmas thing to do.
FYI, that coat is 24.49 at Target.com.
This was one of my favorite programs at Big Machine. The first year I did it, I took Jacob to Target with me and had him select the little toys for the boy whose letter we got. And that year had been a good year, so we also sent candy, mittens and a hat, etc.
Last year was rocky, so even though I'd wanted to do more letters, I took just one. And it killed me. The child asked Santa to send nice things for his big brother who helped take care of him while Mommy worked. He talked about working hard in school so his Mom and Grandma would be proud of him.
I didn't have the money, but I sent a box chock full of stuff for that kid -- and for his brother and mom. And wrote him a letter (as one of Santa's elves) praising him for his hard work and being happy for his family.
I may be Jewish, but I do think every kid regardless of race, creed, or financial background, deserves to have Santa drop presents off at his or her house. And I'm thrilled to help perpetuate the good stuff.
Nicely done, Flea.
It's funny to me that Santa is this judgmental, faraway, all-powerful fellow who must be appeased; and yet these presents that are ascribed to him actually come from well-meaning, hard-working women (my aunt runs one of these toy drives in NY, my mom has done it for years through her office in DC ...). Even the elves behind the scene are male, while the "elves" behind holidays & presents for my family growing up were decidedly female.
Of course I understand why it's more magical that Santa get the credit -- or, I don't, entirely, but I think we can chalk that up to the Judaism thing. In any event, kudos, and thanks for a hilarious/heartwarming entry.
I have no time this year, but the past few years, I've picked up Santa letters at the post office or requested them from the Sun-Times. The most memorable was a letter from a mom who was living at her mother's house with her kids. The kids ranged in age from a baby to maybe a 7-year-old, and their wish lists? Mainly things like clothes and hats. The mom didn't ask for anything for herself. So of course I got the kids each a nice toy, plus practical items (I think there was some socks and underwear in there), plus a gift card for the mom. Next year, I'll get back in the habit.
Who buys Bratz dolls? I do! Ben has one Bratz doll. She came with an awesome motorcycle he had his eye on.
For terrific, brain-building, non-gendered toys and games, check out MindWare, which sells building toys, science kits, arts/crafts kits, books, puzzles, strategic games, and—get this!—etymology activity books for all ages (including grown-ups).
The girls toys scare me. I have two.
Fortunately, my oldest is also a daddies girl so she likes Superman and Spiderman, Lego and Scooby Doo, which makes my life a lot less painful. My Little Pony, also less gut-wrenching than Barbie and Bratz.
They both love Lipsmackers though. I've a hard rule that nothing more fancy than lipsmackers and nailpolish until they are in grade 9.
My soon ist 4 years,and draw verry well
Dr. Pepper lipsmackers: still awesome after all these years.
I'm most definitely on Ester's team re: the misgendering of holiday magic.
Look how much $25 buys...so much for Taylor, and even more for flea!
Thanks for including the link. Now that I know about it, I'm going to do this and will try to get my friends to as well.
My husband grew up in upstate NY, and in his town they have a thing called Arctic League - an organization that collects presents for needy kids around the area during the year, and then volunteers drive around delivering the gifts really really early on Xmas morning. The one year we visited there for Christmas I got to participate (Eric did it every year when he lived there) and it was great - there were so many people willing to get up in the cold & dark on a holiday to do something nice for other people.
Anyway, thanks for alerting me to something I can do now that I'm in Chicago.
We have a Bratz embargo in our house, and I'm holding the line pretty well with my 6 year old. She was always more into Thomas and Scooby Doo and is now a book fiend, so we've managed to keep the house skank free so far.
I had the same problem this year. I don't have kids, so I was completely unprepared for the toy selection. The family we purchased items for has three daughters; 13, 8 and 3 years old. It was hard to buy for all of them without crossing the sleaze line.
So I phoned Direct Effect Charities and they're out of letters, but they directed me to the Sun-Times' comparable program: https://www.suntimes.com/pcds/ssl...imes/
santa.html
There is an intresting article in the newest New Yorker about Bratz vs Barbies. I myself am glad I have a boy. I used to work by American Girl Place and was horrified to see a parade of 10 or so moms and girls, all with rolling luggage carts, with the girl's dolls poking out of the back of the little rolling luggage.
In the New Yorker article they make an interesting observation about class and the demographics of those purchasing Bratz (whores) vs American Girl Place dolls (virgins).
Bratz are forbidden in our house. NO. WAY. Our girl got makeup for her 6th birthday, and I cringe every time she asks to put it on.
This is also the girl who has trucks and action figures and loves to collect bugs and leaves. So at least there's balance.
Wonderful post! My soon to be 11 year old daughter never liked any dolls, except for one year when she bowed to peer pressure and played a bit with Polly Pockets, which were all about really conservative looking plastic snap on clothes and accessories. She always loved stuffed animals and little plastic animals, art supplies, music, movies, and dress up/make believe. At six, I think maykup counts as dress up. For several years, she has avoided any elaborate clothing because she claims she might get labeled a "girly girl" which would be socially devastating, apparantly. I just try to prevent her from leaving the house in shorts and flip flops in the winter. I will have to find out if there is a gift giving program that is as personal as the one you describe. This may not be a big enough city for this to be viable, because there aren't many degrees of separation between people here, though there are poor and homeless children. There are always toy drives through some of the malls and the fire department. Thanks.
No Bratz here. But yeah, shopping for girls is hell at Target.
A few years ago the "wish list" I got for an 11-year-old was makeup and art stuff. I got a big art set with a carrying case and then went to Target, told my inner feminist to shut up, and got some blush, lipstick and eye color in a nice neutral. And then as I was standing there, I was like, what the hell am I doing? This is the one time of year this girl might actually get what she wants, and what do 11-year-old girls want from their makeup?
Then I had even more fun putting the neutrals back and picking out some really, really fun glittery makeup, the "grown-up" kind, and bright (but OK for everyone) colors. I had a blast and on Christmas morning I had to try really hard not to think about her opening those presents because it made me want to cry, but I hope she liked them.
I love your gifts! So perfect.
When shopping for girls at Target, I go to the toy department and then turn the corner. There you will find the sports department: roller skates, tennis rackets, they even sell pink baseball gear! Don't get me wrong, we also have our share of Polly Pockets just for balance.
I was always a book kid, and when I wanted to wear makeup as a woobie, my Mom sagely informed me that by the time I'd be allowed I wouldn't want to. Of course, I grew up to be a not-too-girly-lesbian, so that figures. But on the inside, I am still six, because makeup is dressup--I like glitter; it makes everything better. David Bowie called me and said he wants his glitter back.
As a kid, I liked cabbage patch dolls, and soft toys, and I had a doll with manymany outfits. But I was never a HUGE Barbie lover.
These days, my comfort in the aisle-o-pink is Wonder Woman Barbie, whom came out in the 90s along with Supergirl Barbie and Batgirl Barbie and Elektra Barbie (yes, I was a comics geek too). I don't know if they even still make her, and I never actually owned one, but damn do I approve of the idea! Wonder Woman Barbie doesn't need painful shoes and a (quite possibly gay) boyfriend! She has kickass boots and a magic truthtelling lasso and an invisible plane! She's an ambassador to the United Nations! 
After looking around and seeing what little girls are wearing these days, and reading your hilarious "Be the best whore you can be" assessment of the toy aisle, I'm surprised you didn't just hit the Honeysuckle Shop for your gift-giving needs.
Obviously you'd need to be age-appropriate, so you might want to stick with things like "Color Me Sexy Body Crayons", "Lick My Strawberry" lipstick, and Gummy Panties (supplying both necessary nourishment and clothing!).
Hi,
I just stumbled across your website, and it seems like you say a lot of interesting and intelligent things, but (as a stranger who probably has no right to say anything) I couldn't get over the part where you wrote,
"Well," said another coworker, "the good news is that he doesn't really have anything, so whatever you get him is going to be appreciated."
I'm having some difficulty articulating my concern. I love the fact that you wanted to get them gifts, but I also want to acknowledge the agency of the kids in this situation. I hope you don't think I'm totally out of line, it's just a thought.
Lindsey
Are you sure Taylor is a girl?
When I started reading your post, my first reaction was, "Cool, a boy who isn't afraid to ask for make-up."
But maybe that's just because I have a male cousin named Taylor, and a 2 1/2 year old son who loves glitter and sparkle ...
I *was* one of those older kids that gets nothing once-upon-a-time.
My mom went back to school, after spending years making next to nothing as a dog groomer, when I was between the ages of 10 and 13. My sister was 2-5.
Every year she got heaps and heaps of gifts from charity organizations, dolls, stuffed animals, cute clothes, a matching snowsuit-boots-scarf-hat-mittens set.
Usually I got a few tattered, secondhand books that were far, far below my reading level and a lumpy, scratchy homemade hat or scarf.
I remember my mom pulling me aside on christmas day, and in between sobs telling me how she *tried* to get better gifts, how they had things in the younger kids catagories she knew i would have liked or used, but that they just wouldn't let her and there just wasn't anything for older kids, and she was so,so sorry I had to watch my little sister open those fabulous gifts and get nothing. Telling me how she'd make it up to me after she got a new job with her new degree, how I'd get fabulous gifts every year if I could just stick it out for now.
Every year, even if I can hardly afford it, I buy something for an older kid and donate it. Not even so much for the older kids that are saavy enough to know they have been forgotten. Mostly for the moms and dads and grandparents and whoever whose hearts are breaking when they have to explain to their kids just why no one gives a crap about them.
Thank you.
My 6 year old asked for a bratz last year and my parents got her one. She never plays with it. I think she wanted it because all her friends have them. My 18 month old boy like to carry it around by its hair.
Now my neice who is turning 7 asked for one for her birthday. i still haven't decided if i should get it.
Oh, holy cow! I just did a big, long rant about trying to buy an outfit for my daughter for her fourth grade band recital that didn't leave her looking like a caberet dancer. CRAZY inappropriate things I found in the size 4-6x range!
I wandered into the toy section of Target recently, after not having been in a toy dept for many long years.
Both the boy's section and the girl's section disturbed me. The way that ALL the sections are arranged by brand name (rather than toy type), highly commercialized, etc.
I have a infant son, and I weep at the idea of having to shop for toys.
I have a girl, ages 17 months and shopping for her makes me physically ill. Everything from clothes to shoes to toys is gender-designated. Half the time I shop from the boys dept and she's still too young to voice a preference. She has a selection of toys -- both a baby doll AND a dump truck.
Be The Best Whore You Can Be
You nailed it flea.
Petula,
I think you may be an underappreciated genius. I'm kicking myself for not thinking of that first.
Although really, I have to say Target may have beaten me to the punch already. They're so close! In two years they'll be stocking the Larry Flynt "My First Vibe" collection.
hp, I'm totally with you. I can't stand going down the "boy" toy aisles and just moving from brand to brand. I view the toy selection kind of like the grocery store. You know how they say to stick with the sides and avoid the middle? (ie the sides have the produce, dairy, etc., and the middle has all the yummy processed garbage.)
I think the same theory can apply to the toy aisles. The games are on the ends, and sports are on one side. Much of the stuff in the middle is scary commercial. My husband's even more strict about the no commercial rule than I; but you should have seen how frustrated I was that all the Lego sets are affiliated. Phooey.
I also have a daughter who is almost three. Our conversations go like this:
Her: "I want a Barbie."
Me: "Barbie has low self-esteem. And she's had plastic surgery. You're too young for Barbies.
Her: "What's that?" (indicating Bratz)
Me: "That ho will not grace my threshhold."
So yes, that part is hard. However, there's the OTHER part to parenting a girl - the fluffy feather boas, the adorable shoes, the little age-appropriate dresses. The hardest part is convincing your toddler she's too young to bare her midriff.
Did you miss the "servant of the patriarchy" section? That's what I used to call the toy kitchens and cleaning stuff. When my son wanted a toy vacuum, years ago, I had to venture into the pink aisles to find one.
Now I buy my daughter a lot from the boys' aisle, too.
"servant of the patriarchy section"
BWAAAAAAAHHHHHAHAHAHAHA!
It's true, the older kids are always left out.
I was at Barnes and Noble, and bought a book that will be donated to a local children's charity. As I was checking out, the clerk said "Oh thanks. Nobody ever buys books for the older boys."
Oh shit.
To be a teenage boy is hard enough.
To be a teenage boy who relies on charity is horrible.
But to be a teenage boy who relies on charity only to be forgotten, that's the saddest thing I ever heard.
So don't forget the older kids. Sometimes they need it the most.
For the past seven or so years our family has picked several kids (from "charity trees" around town) and we've gone to town for them: they pretty much get every single thing they ask for, plus a little more. I had surgery just after Thanksgiving this year and recovering has been harder than I thought it would be. We were going to skip the charity thing this year because getting gifts for family has been difficult enough (let alone taking care of the kids or decorating for Christmas), but now I just can't. Thanks for reminding me how important it is. I hope we aren't too late.
If your employer can swing it, ask them to eschew sending out foil-embossed schmancy cards to vendors and all the other people on their lists, and support this kind of effort. My company did that a few years ago, and now every year they get a stack of Salvation Army Angel tickets and pass them out, and then reimburse us for a certain amount per kiddo. You can spend what you want, but they pick up a decent portion of it and just send a nice email to the would-be card recipients.
It's a wonderful perk, and it really shows that whole community involvement in a way that a mission statement can't touch.
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It's funny to me that Santa is this judgmental, faraway, all-powerful fellow who must be appeased; and yet these presents that are ascribed to him actually come from well-meaning, hard-working women (my aunt runs one of these toy drives in NY, my mom has done it for years through her office in DC
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