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No, I also thought Monster House looked too scary for my 7 yr old. I have let him watch some of Pirates of the Carribean but he seems less freaked out by that.
kimblahg |
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09.11.07 - 10:44 pm | #
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First!
(That was a joke.)
We took Ben (age 6 1/2 or 7 at the time) to see it in the theater. Mr. Tangerine kept thinking we should leave because it was too scary for Ben. Ben sat there enjoying it all thoroughly, not scared (plus I kept reminding him that this was all make-believe), and showed no signs of posttraumatic stress from it. He's seen it again via cable, and been fine with it. (He's also seen the first two Pirates movies in the last year.)
Christopher is but a wee bairn, though, so I dunno. Maybe pop the movie in at 10 a.m. and let him watch it long before bedtime nears so he can exorcise any dread it might provoke? Though the pleasant ending should help prevent lasting dread...though the vivid imagery could freak out a sensitive child.
Orange |
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09.11.07 - 10:46 pm | #
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My son just turned 6 and is crazy about this movie. I did have to sit close by and answer lots of questions the first time or two he watched it, but he's never had nightmares about it or seemed otherwise disturbed.
My son is, however, notably non-skittish when it comes to scary movies and the like - I've tried to make sure he understands movies are utterly and completely not real. He got out of bed and walked into my room when I had The Ring on while I was in the bathroom - he watched Samara do her thing for at least a few minutes and never seemed bothered by that, either.
Z |
09.12.07 - 12:20 am | #
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It totally depends upon the kid (or the adult, in my case). If your kids scare easily and have nightmares, then you are doing the right thing by saying "no". But if your kids aren't like that, and don't really mind scary stuff and you're just reading into it that they MIGHT be scared, try it and see what reaction you get.
I have a friend who didn't allow her son to watch PG-13 movies until after his bar mitzvah. He was the laughing stock of the school. She also refused to let him play any video games but the kind for game cube. The poor kid was so sheltered he had no chance to grow up. That's TOOO much helicopter parenting. And then theres me. My kids see everything. EVERYTHING. They always have. I never minded violence because it doesn't affect them. I never minded sex, well because it's natural and a part of life. But I personally HATE scary. Hate it. I won't watch the Wizard of Oz because the flying monkeys scare me. So I'm never going to be previewing scary movies for my kids.
We've had a couple of bad nights but not in years. Now they get those horror flicks and watch them with their friends and scream at the TV "He's behind you" while I cringe in the corner.
margalit |
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09.12.07 - 1:17 am | #
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Mixed bag. The kids talked their dad into renting it (I was of your mind); the 7 year old loved it, no issues, went out and spent his allowance on the book. (But...he's a kid who doesn't scare. He's been fine with the Pirates, Voldemort, orcs...he gets the "it's just pretend" concept freakishly well.) The 4 year old begged to watch it every day but then couldn't stop thinking about it at night (even when I didn't let her watch it). But then she gets scared when her brother makes faces at her.
Personally, I thought the concept was the most disturbing part...I'm sorry, the whole falling in your foundation and being suffocated and encased in cement? Aaaaaaghgghhh! That would have kept me up for weeks as a kid.
PK |
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09.12.07 - 1:59 am | #
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My two are smaller (6 and 3) but we scare easily around this house. I do (I have been known to shut my eyes during some parts of Disney animated movies). My daughter gets scared during books if the imagery is too vivid.
That said, she does feel left out my her friends who get to watch the Harry Potter movies and other "scarier" movies. I've vetoed Monster House, at least for a while. For our scarier choices, we'll try them at home, with a finger on the fast forward. We've now made it 35 minutes into the first Harry Potter, after 3 attempts. And that's with my husband, who is not scared of movies, at the remote.
Sarah |
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09.12.07 - 7:35 am | #
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My 6 and 7 yr olds saw it (not with me) and the 7 (now almost year old liked it ok, the 6 (then 5) was scared. He's a stormy little flower, and is often frightened by 'scary' stuff.
maya |
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09.12.07 - 7:58 am | #
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We took our boys to the drive in last summer to see this movie (ages 9,8,4) and at the drive in they were a little scared but wanted to keep watching. When they saw the ending the movie redeemed itself in the childrens eyes and is now a rotated favorite. There were no nightmares or adverse effects from them watching. Usually my husband and I also preview every movie they watch unless it is G rated.
becky |
09.12.07 - 8:47 am | #
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I think Mr. Nebbercracker's "scary face" bears more than a passing resemblance to Gollum: http://www.gamasutra.com/gdc2004...24/
gollum_2.jpg
I agree that a lot depends on the child, and how apt they are to let imaginary boojums follow them into the real world. If they're prone to worrying about monsters in their closets I'd definitely hold off on giving them any more nightmare fodder.
For a small child, I'd say that lying in the dark, just *knowing* that Something is about to pounce, is a much worse feeling than disappointment over not watching a particular movie.
Cobwebs |
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09.12.07 - 9:14 am | #
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My 6.5yo boy is very sensitive to the scary. Always has been. He's left Happy Feet twice due to scariness (a seal? I don't know, never saw it). So far, he's only watched a few videos, all G, and with me sitting/fast-forwarding through the scary parts. E.g., we watched Lion King, but I told him in advance about the stampede, what would happen, that Simba would be okay (emphasized several times), and only then did we watch it, with him ready to put hands over eyes/ears. Also the final fight scene. He needs to know in advance what will happen. (His current favorite, Bambi, got the same treatment; now after multiple viewings he's just fine with it.)
My point? I don't think you're being overprotective, but you can also try these desensitization techniques. I think you were very wise to preview it first. (I did that too, with The Incredibles, and then we fast-forwarded through scary parts when I watched it with him.)
lynn |
09.12.07 - 9:16 am | #
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a number of us gathered to watch this, and while I rather liked it, it was pretty universally decided to be 'too scary' for the 6.5 year old, so he didn't get to see it.
he is a kid that is VERY affected by that kind of thing.
and on a personal note, having watched some really scary shit at a young age, it really messed me up, made sleeping really horrid for a few years, and i STILL sleep with the lights on.
i think people are fooling themselves if they don't think that watching violence can have long term effects on kids.
Alicia |
09.12.07 - 10:24 am | #
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In reference to Alicia's comment above, I, too, was exposed to a lot of scary stuff as a kid. To give you an idea, by the time I was 6, "Return of the Living Dead" was the favorite movie of my cousin and me--we watched it at least once a day (although I admit I did cover my eyes for two specific parts, both involving the Tar Man, or "slimey monster," as I called him at the time). We actually reenacted scenes from this movie with our Barbie dolls. 
We also worshipped "Night of the Living Dead," "Troll," and other scary movies of the eighties. Oh, and "Revenge of the Nerds," but that's a different story.
I can't say I suffered any ill effects. A nightmare here or there, but nothing abnormal.
The point is, no kid is the same. In the end, only you know your kids, and if it doesn't seem to bother them, then don't project to them that it SHOULD bother them. Make sure it's actually THEIR fear that's making your decisions, and not your fear, or your fear of their fear. Know what I mean?
On the other hand, if they actually do seem abnormally affected by it, then you are perfectly justified in not letting them watch the movie. I wouldn't say that's being overprotective. Perhaps try it again at a later time, to see if they've "grown out of it," or try some of the desensitization techniques mentioned by a poster above.
My only other thought is that kids, being human after all, are a lot more resilient than we give them credit for. So, even if they do seem scared by something you allow them to watch, don't beat yourself up for it. More than likely they'll be just fine. I think it's FAR better to expose them to unsavory things, but be close by to discuss their fears and concerns, rather than shelter them from them and pretend that they don't exist. That only make the real world, which is filled with unsavory, unfair things, harder to enter into.
Jen |
09.12.07 - 10:55 am | #
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As a follow up, I assumed that Alicia's "scary shit" she mentioned was movie-related. I obviously can't speak for the traumatizing effects of scary life experiences. Please forgive the error if I assumed incorrectly.
Jen |
09.12.07 - 10:57 am | #
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I'm really over protective when it comes to this stuff. I'd never let my kids (5 & 7) watch Pirates of the Carribean.... but then I'm only starting to let them watch Sponge Bob this year...
My Ex took them to see Monster House and my younger one is STILL talking about how scary it was. Did it scar them for life? Probably not. Did I think it was an appropriate movie for them? No.
Amy |
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09.12.07 - 11:04 am | #
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ARG! My comment got eaten! Anyway - I originally read "incredible goth clothes" as "invisible goth clothes" and wondered just how the hell THAT worked out.
I have no comment on the movie, because my kiddo will be 16 at the beginning of October and the only movie that has ever scared her was Dante's Peak, and it still scares her.
LL |
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09.12.07 - 11:35 am | #
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My girls are 6 and 8. I censor their viewing based not so much on what is scary, but because I am very much against viewing intentional acts of violence as a form of entertainment.
Pratfalls are funny. Accidents happen. Animals hunt and eat other animals. Scary situations have to be faced. But we don't need to be seeing people (or robots or chickens or whatever) intentionally causing physical harm to others while we sit on the couch eating popcorn.
It's not that I think seeing that kind of thing makes us into more violent people, but I do think it jades us and means that harsher things have to happen before we are shocked or moved to take action. So that's how I make my judgments.
There's a very handy site called Kids in Mind that actually lists every specific incidence of Profanity, Sex/Nudity and Violence/Gore in any given movie so you can get an idea of what's in it ahead of time. Monster House, for example, got a 3 (of 10) for sex & nudity, 6 for violence & 1 for profanity.
Jennifer |
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09.12.07 - 12:09 pm | #
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Ok, no kids of my own, but I grew up in a scary-movie-loving household. By the time I was 9 or 10, I had been terrified by Amityville Horror, the Exorcist (the edited-for-TV version), Friday the 13th, etc. My sister and I loved being scared, and still do (haunted houses at Halloween are a beloved family tradition). With all of this movie stimulus, my most dreaded fear in childhood was quicksand, which my mom casually mentioned, and I then looked up in an encyclopedia. I knew we didn't have quicksand within a thousand miles of my home, but I had recurring nightmares about it for years! Only you know your kids, but it may be that they are the kind of kids who really *love* being scared, like we were (my mom did not dig on the scary, but she seemed to understand that we did).
Christy |
09.12.07 - 12:30 pm | #
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I took my daughter and her friend to see this last year for her 11th birthday. They were entertained not scared.
My three yeaar old has watched it now that it is on the movie channel. It didn't scare her either. Although I am sure most of it went over her head.
ccw |
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09.12.07 - 12:55 pm | #
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jen, sorry, yes it was movie related, NOT real life.
my upstairs neighbor would 'g-rate' movies by taking all the bad words and boobies out.
specifically, fri the 13 part 3 and nightmare on elm street, which, without the boobs and language, is kinda wall to wall grisly murder scenes. i never told my parents about it, until years later, and they had no idea that i was even having problems sleeping (since if i told them i had been watching this stuff, i figured i would get in big trouble).
while I think plenty of kids can bounce back from it (and while I have some residual issues, i'm fairly normal, overall), i just think that the constant bombardment of violence as entertainment is bad bad news. the world is filled with horrors and I don't think 6 year olds need to be surrounded by it to get it.
overall my visual stuff was generally pretty well policed by my parents (i was one of those kids who didn't see pg-13 til i was 13, dammit), i was allowed to read anything I wanted. it was funny how some parents would be just besides themselves at some of my reading materials, while there kids watched some pretty violent movies behind them. but, BUT i am still a very visual person, and really weird stuff can trigger me to horrid nightmares, even now (and i do enjoy horror movies, although not the current trend of torture porn movies).
kinda summing up...i don't think we SHOULD be desensitized by violence. i think maybe the world would be a better place if we were a little more horrified by it.
Alicia |
09.12.07 - 1:04 pm | #
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My 10 y.o. watched it and loved it, my fairly sensitive 5 y.o. watched it but with lots of reassurance. No nightmares afterwards.
We have the problem that the 5 y.o. wants to watch everything the 10 y.o. does, so I am fairly careful about what we watch, because I don't want to deal with separating them for the movie. This is why my son is apparently the only 10 y.o. that hasn't seen any of the Pirates movies or Lord of the Rings. He tells me a bunch of the kids in his class play Halo, too, but I think they might be pulling his leg. Or maybe not. :-(
Sandy D. |
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09.12.07 - 2:22 pm | #
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I just want to pipe up and agree with Christie and Jen that scary does not mean bad. Just because your kid covers his eyes, doesn't mean he's not enjoying the movie, especially (as others mentioned in more detail) when the actual content they are frightened by is an old man making scary faces.
I lived in one of those permissive households where I saw everything. The only movie I remember my parents telling me I couldn't see was Alien. I saw Willow in the theater when I was 7 and by 10 I was reading Alan Moore Swamp Thing, complete with vegetable coitus. At some point my folks told me I had to stop telling my friends about all the movies I was allowed to see because they would all go home and tell their parents, "But Rob saw this and that."
I still get nightmares to this day, and it really doesn't bother me. They're nightmares. Ten minutes into my shower and I can barely remember. My parents allowed me to choose my own entertainment, but they never stopped telling me it was all imaginary (and not in a "It's all in your imagination, so ignore it way." More like "Isn't it amazing that somebody was able to keep you up all night screaming and crying by using their imagination?"), and as a result I think I learned a healthy skepticism of media, developed a decent bullshit detector, and learned to respect the power of creativity. Also, the more I consumed, the more I found that BAD movies (and books – I was kept up many a night by a scary book) lost the ability to frighten me, or to elicit any reaction but laughter, and GOOD movies became all the more desirable.
I guess it's your call, but based on my experience exposure to these things is best treated like pulling off a band-aid. They'll watch it. They'll be scared. They'll stay up all night. And then they'll watch it twelve more times and giggle the whole way through, and they won't be scared by cranky old people anymore. (Sort of like … after you pull of a band-aid … and then you pull it off again … and then you giggle? OK, the simile pretty much falls apart at the end there.)
rob |
09.12.07 - 4:58 pm | #
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My 4yo boy absolutely loved it in the theatre. My fears that the so-called scary parts would haunt him afterwards turned out to be wholly unwarranted.
We adults have three big problems. First, in the honest attempt to protect our children, so frequently our fears lead us into being overly protective. Second, we over-think things. Third, we don't give our kids credit for having sense (assuming one takes the trouble to explain things to 'em). The concept that "things on the screen aren't real" is easily taught and demonstrated, and are quite comprehendable by most children as soon as they know enough language for the parent to explain it.
Lon |
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09.12.07 - 6:02 pm | #
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Okay. What we decided to do was have a family movie date on Saturday, after Christopher's birthday party. And we would all watch it together. I'll fight the urge to put my hand over their eyes.
Thanks everybody! Much, much appreciated!
flea |
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09.12.07 - 8:09 pm | #
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I realize I'm a little late to the game, but what movie choices boil down to is: you've got to know your kids.
Both of mine (7 & 9) liked Monster House, but it was about the limit of scary for our 7-year-old. My older son is unscareable - by anything whatsoever. He happily watches, and loves, movies that give me nightmares. I have to rely on my husband to vet, because he's far exceeded my capacity. No signs of mental scarring thus far.
Tapetum |
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09.13.07 - 12:19 am | #
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I'm late, too, but I think my protectiveness matches yours so I'm weighing in. My kids saw this when it came out in the theaters, against my better judgment at the time. They were at my parents' house and my mom couldn't get hold of me to ask me and they convinced her it would be fine. It was. It totally was. They both loved it and we ended up buying the movie. Sophie had just turned six and Christopher was nine.
Now. They've seen the first Pirates and parts of the second. Christopher (now at nearly 11) is much more capable of handling the special effects. Sophie (now seven) doesn't like it when things morph into other things (like in The Curse of the Wererabbit, she has to cover her eyes when Wallace turns into the wererabbit) and she hasn't wanted to watch the whole second Pirates movie.
That's as far into PG as they go. They've seen the Harry Potters (not the newest one yet) but not any of the Rings trilogy (way, way, WAY to violent and "real" and scary for them, I think).
candace |
09.13.07 - 10:01 am | #
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My almost-3 year old saw Monster House sitting on the shelf and would not leave until I promised to bring the "Scary House Movie" home. I have no idea how he'll do. If a show scares him, he tells me to turn it off.
He watches Ben 10 and another creepy cartoon with his dad all the time and loves them. On the other hand, the evil seal in Happy Feet and Frank and the Banshee from Cars scare the crap outta him.
selzach |
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09.13.07 - 2:16 pm | #
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I have to wonder if lack of time to explain things to kids plays a factor here. I had nightmares over a movie or two as a kid, but nothing that went on for more than a few nights. By the time I was six I was already a fan of old black and white horror movies, and the only movie that ever really scared me bad was the t.v. movie version of Salem's Lot, a Stephen King story that includes young children being kidnapped and turned in to child vampires, with no happy ending at all. I watched that when I was six, and I thank my mom for allowing it. After the initial fear wore off, I was capable of watching anything and enjoying it. The next year I was onto more adult fare, and was allowed to watch both The Elephant Man and The World According to Garp. Good Times!
While caution should certainly be used with sensitive children, being scared once in a while is part of being a kid. I think that too much sheltering will do much more damage in the long run than even weeks of nightmares.
Last thing-to Candace above-You seriously have a ten year old boy who hasn't seen any Lord of the Rings yet? That's darn near child abuse in my book, unless the plan is to get him to read them first-in which case more power to you!
Neil |
09.13.07 - 5:44 pm | #
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Late, so I'll give the Cliff Notes version:
My kids (8 and 4 1/2) watched it together, along with another just-turned-8-year-old, and they had a blast. I too was kind of taken aback by the beginning, and am glad to hear the spoiler about the old guy. Both kids are scared of kind of random things, and this straightforward scary wasn't too bad.
Krupskaya |
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09.13.07 - 9:55 pm | #
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not to alarm anyone, but let me put it out there that i have a near photographic memory ... especially when it comes to visuals. i NEVER watch scary things (i'm 33), and there are still things i've seen that i can recall pretty easily (*commercials* for "dr. giggles" and "silent night, deadly night.").
so, even though i GET the idea of pretend, the fact that i can recall nearly everything that happens in the movie "frailty" (i totally got conned into watching that one, means that things don't really leave me for a long while, and i can still have instant recall if it's brought into my consciousness.
blah.
smussy |
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09.14.07 - 12:45 pm | #
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Thanks for the shoutout! If the trauma of watching Monster House causes the kids to grow up to be goth crossdressers, the corsets are on me.
Virgil |
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09.14.07 - 3:09 pm | #
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Sweet!
And your clothes really are gorgeous.
flea |
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09.14.07 - 3:29 pm | #
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My kids (5 and 2) haven't seen it, but only because we haven't gotten around to it. I only sort of moderate what they watch. I don't really worry too much about what they see, and if they do see something I/we don't approve of, we try to to explain it to them. I worry more about adult themes that they won't understand (war, rape, etc.) than I do about them being scared.
My cousin's kids (8 and 5) get to watch pretty much anything that isn't porn. They're really into Godzilla and disaster movies, which mine don't usually get to watch (mostly because we don't care for them than for any other reason), but mine were not terribly scared the last time we visited.
Contrast that with my sister in law, whose kids (7 and 5) are scared of the shark scene in Finding Nemo, and when they received A Bug's Life as a birthday gift (from another family member), she asked me if I thought it was too scary for them.
I guess it just depends on the kids in question and how comfortable you are with this stuff.
ks |
09.14.07 - 7:02 pm | #
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I haven't seen the movie, but PK (6, 7 next month) saw it at his cousin's and he liked it.
Course, he's also seen the PotC movies and likes them. (I blame his father for introducing him to the first one, which I would *not* have shown him at the age of five, no. But he seems to be perfectly unharmed; no bad dreams or nuthin'.)
bitchphd |
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09.14.07 - 8:41 pm | #
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I have no consistent kid-access (I live too far from my nephews) so I have no movie input. I did, however, follow the link to Virgil's clothes and love them and want him to finish the accessories section, as I WANT THAT SKULLBAG!
Kat |
09.14.07 - 9:46 pm | #
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I know most of these perspective are from a parents point of view but I grew up in a household where my mother didn't allow me to watch pg13 movies till I was 13 and was never allowed to play video games. This made school very hard for me. I was made fun of, missed out on a lot of jokes and it made me feel like even more of an outsider. I understand the violence aspect of things and protecting your children, but at some point the kids are going to experance it and its better to be introduced to it by parents and have it explained then to watch it "secretly" and be confused by it. To this day it still effects my life (I'm 24) I have absolutly no video game skills and often don't know what people are talking about when they talk about a "classic" movie they loved during their childhood.
I know this doesn't nec. apply to your children (in terms of age) but I feel the same way about sex and sexuality, it is much better to be educated and be able to talk about it then trying to find out information on your own (especially with the state of sex education in schools today, thankfully my highschool had an amazing sex ed program which I will always be grateful for.) It will make their lives sig. easier and will prob make it more likely that they come to you with major problems instead of being afraid to.
Kristen |
09.15.07 - 11:37 am | #
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I agree wholeheartedly that it depends on the child. My five-year-old won't be allowed to watch it for a while. She had nightmares for days after watching Little Mermaid (Ursula scared her) and only relaxed after we told her we weren't going to let her watch the movie again until she was at least 6.
I hate scary movies, so it's probably genetic!
liz |
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09.16.07 - 4:25 pm | #
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Uh, that's me with the 10 y.o. son that hasn't seen the Lord of the Rings. I actually told him we could watch it after we finished reading it together. And we did, about four months ago, but I just haven't found an extra 10-12 hours with his little sister not around when we could watch it.
Sandy D. |
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09.16.07 - 9:32 pm | #
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Okay, we watched it yesterday. They were absolutely fine. No bad dreams, no trauma. All that worry and handwringing was all for nothing.
flea |
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09.16.07 - 9:41 pm | #
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