"scientifical"
Holy shit! Who's doing the spell checking around here?
Is that the benevolent sword of righteousness one?
harry, I have procured you a woman. She is smart, reads lots of books and will be embarrassed that I told you she likes Gilbert & Sullivan. A lot. She is medium-ish height, very slender, has a tattoo of a lizard slinking up from her hip and lives around the corner from you. I have convinced her to go on a blind date with you if you're up for it.
And a very good post. That shiny eyed earnest enthusiasm can be frightening.
zoe:
frightening?
you
have
no
idea...
"Is that the benevolent sword of righteousness one?"
Cloes, grasshopper. It is the Flmaing Sword of Righteousness as weilded by the Benevoilent Dictator.
"harry, I have procured you a woman"
I hope I filled out my order form correctly.
"She is smart,"
Good
"reads lots of books"
Excellent. Code for 'nerd'
"and will be embarrassed"
Good, some emotions at least.
"that I told you she likes Gilbert & Sullivan."
Erm. You know how we know not much about each other at all. Well, one of the myriad things you don't know about me is that I was raised on G and S. Oh, dear, my slip is showing - I called them G & S.
"A lot."
They are rather good. Whizzo! The 'Il Dolce Niente' I wrote about the other day comes from The Gondoliers. (For readers not privvy to Zoe's private emails: Zoe had written how cool it was drinking beer with dudes (as we did last w/e). I replied that it was the point of life, lyrically captured by 'Il dolce niente' trans: Sweet doing nothing, fig: delightful idleness.) And Mike Lee's film 'Topsy Turvy', which is a artistic biography of G&S, is one of the most artful, clever and complete films I have ever seen. Mike Lee is ein geenioos.
"She is medium-ish height,"
Ah, that's a relief. I couldn't recall whether I'd ticked the 'enormous giant' box or not.
"very slender,"
Not a problem.
"has a tattoo of a lizard"
Geez, I ticked some good boxes didn't I?
"slinking"
(That was a box I added to the form with my biro)
"up from her hip"
I went to Uni (and Primary school) with a girl who has a lizard on her hip/belly. Though, at Primary school, she didn't have the tat. It looked good, so that's why I ticked that box.
"and lives around the corner from you."
Thank god. There is nothing worse than having to drive around to find women. So, she's almost 'home delivery'? Good thinking.
"I have convinced her to go on a blind date with you"
Those things ALWAYS turn out well.
"if you're up for it."
I hope you're not suggesting I'm not man enough slash too chicken in the public domain, are you! That kind of talk leads to me doing stupid stuff.
Of course I'm up for it! I had dinner with a complete stranger last night, so I'm in the zone, so to speak.
I even shaved this morning.
madam, I am locked, nocked and ready to rock.
Or beats.
Or whatever Ozomatli is.
It's funny how "...shiny eyed earnest enthusiasm..." can be easily mistaken for bone freezing fear.
what, being struck by it or causing it?
Fear not. You are one of mine.
now *that's* a relief
whew!
Are you going to blog this date Harry? pleeeeeeeeease.
Laura,
I shall ask the lady in question if she thinks it appropriate.
If she agrees then it will depend on whether it is blog-worthy or whether I, coyly, think it is none of your business.
We shall wait and see.
However, based on the general goodness of the idea I might be induced to a 'Make Harry do Random Stuff' program.
Say, MythBusters meets NationalGeographic meets Shaun of the Dead.
Dave reckons it will never happen. He has no faith in you.
Blogging the date sounds like a Bad Idea, Harry. Lots of minuses and few pluses, for you at least.
Fyodor, have you been on a date with harry? Or a you just guessing?
In serious news, friends, harry and The Girl have now been e-introduced. We can but wait to hear what happens.
I've already done the first draft!
There are a few more unidentified flying creatures than you would normally expect during a meal. And there are more orcs, and The Lizard Woman pulls off more first-rate crossbow shots than you would expect on a date too.
There's something for everyone!
I will not be blogging anything true with regard to Lizard Woman and myself.
Unless, of course, I say something so amazingly droll that the whole world must immedeately know of my greatness.
It is, after all, all about me.
Hmmm, maybe I should go on a date with Fyodor? I can see it now: the initial confusion as we deftly tip-toe around the issue of not actually being gay. Then the ogres attack! Oh, and whales. I am convinced there is at least one whale. In the third Act Fyodor gives an inspiring speech - straining with the turgidity of the English language in full lyric flow - which results in all the diners launching a liberating assualt on the sweets trolley. There will also be a foreboding scene involving high-backed chairs and smoking pipes.
I'm thinking of optioning it to MGM.
And as for Dave: he can drag others down in his font of nagativity, but not me! Wullah! I am free from his clutches and will never succumb to be an agent of the Dark again!
"harry and The Girl have now been e-introduced. "
They have?
You, dear readers, will have read it first on this blog, but funnily enough _I_ read it first on this blog!
Oh, and Zoe: snap, re Date with Fyodor.
check your email, harry for something from me with "this is your friendly neighbourhood match-making service" in the subject line
Yah.
Me connect dots.
Haha: ottellO
godammit, you have to pay attention when you're playing that game
that was a horny goat weed leftover
Zoe,
I wasn't describing the likely outcome of the date - I apparently have more confidence (obviously unfounded) in his prospects than you do - but the downside to blogging the experience after.
It is more than a little disconcerting, however, to be propositioned by a bloke who insists he isn't gay [NTTAWTT] but continues to wear pink cargo pants.
Oh Fyodor, you know harry would NEVER wear cargo pants, and it's cruel of you to keep saying that.
Yes, isn't it?
There are only two sorts of pants I habitually wear:
1) Army pants
2) No pants
There are appropriate times for both, but never for those false pants that are called cargo.
These times are, respectively:
1) Every day wear.
2) For battle, and happy-no-pants time.
Zoe, you say 'cruel' like it's a bad thing.
2) For battle, and happy-no-pants time.
Now I know what was weird this weekend. Everyone had pants.
so were you trying to impress Duck and I by wearing non habitual JEANS harry? And carrying your habitual pants under your arm?
"so were you trying to impress Duck and I by wearing non habitual JEANS harry?"
# Honestly Zoe, do you pay attention to anything I write?
That is my "simultaneously gay and irresistable to women" costume. It only comes out of the closet (sorry, bad pun) on special occasions. I don't want to use up ALL it's power too soon.
"And carrying your habitual pants under your arm?"
A truer statement than you realise. You will recall that under my other arm I had no pants.
Meg,
"Now I know what was weird this weekend. Everyone had pants."
# You could have taken yours off. Might have given the troops the inspiration they needed.
Even Fitz had his on?
harry - there were definitely pants on Fitz, at least on friday night while I was there...
and don't go down the blog-a-date path, it will be a sad path, strewn with the embarassment of putting it all out into the ether and having it come back up on people's random google search many years later... stick to the assault on the sweets trolley.
and the whale, good idea.
oh and the orcs! lots of orcs.
ooh that was me... forget my own pants if they weren't tied on...
Army pants are alright, as long as they aren't matched up with an Army Jacket, forming an Army Suit, which is only suitable wear for teenagers intent on playing World of Warcraft then going on a rampage at their high schools.
Laura, indeed. Luckily it makes it easy to spot these types and steer well clear. Kind of like the neo-nazi types Darp was playing fun games with. Pale, spotty, and in camo.
"and don't go down the blog-a-date path"
I'm not.
Anything that appears will be a lie.
Unless I really _do_ get stabbed in a humourous way with a pool cue.
I think anything cammo is a bad idea.
Army pants should be black or not worn at all.
anything cammo is a bad idea. especially in PJs.. take note Mr Peter Alexander... YUK!
Commenting by HaloScan
