I'm also split. If it was my best friend/really good friend, I would go. Mind you I only have one child right now. Also if you bring them the topic of death will definitely come up (I don't know if you've talked about that with them yet).
I would go and if it gets to be too much than I would excuse myself and leave early and then meet up again for the potluck...
Momma Pianta | Homepage | 07.26.06 - 6:42 am | #

I say skip the memorial. Send the flower and drop by food.
Kelly in NC | Homepage | 07.25.06 - 3:53 pm | #

I'm split. If you're really great friends then I'd go and if the kids act up then go outside like Maribeth said. Sit in the back close the the door. I think your oldest is old enough to understand if you talk to her. But also, she'll understand with having 2 kids, 1 being really young, why it would be hard on you if you did go. You have a hard choice. I personally wouldn't go unless I could go alone and get a sitter for the kids. Good luck!
Julie Pizzitola | 07.25.06 - 3:45 pm | #

I a sure she will understand. I think a flower arrangement and a dish will be just fine.
Trish | Homepage | 07.25.06 - 2:12 pm | #

Is there a wake, or a showing? I'd go to that - it's not nearly so hard on the kids - and forget the service. But send flowers, of course.
Melanie Lynne Hauser | Homepage | 07.25.06 - 11:16 am | #

I think maybe skip it, especially if you are sending flowers and also cooking for the potluck...maybe you could drop by with the kids afterward when the need for quiet isn't so important. As long as you see her at some point, maybe it won't matter when.
JuJuBee | Homepage | 07.25.06 - 10:28 am | #

If you think it's be too much for you, then don't go. I will tell you that it would mean a lot to your friend to see you there, and if the kids act up, then just taken them outside.
I'd probably opt to go.
Maribeth | Homepage | 07.25.06 - 8:25 am | #