wonderful essay
as an aside, the tragedy for us in st. paul is that powers isn't even the worst columnist in the city. that title belongs to Bob Sansavere -doofus to the nth degree
Being from Miami I can give no sympathy for others' sportswriters; the Herald's best known writer, Dan LeBatard, has gone from local joke to national, make-up wearing, joke.
As to the topic...
Bicycle is boring, but I love the Tour de France
I don't follow Indy Car racing, but I watch the Indy 500 (great this year btw)
And God knows I don't regularly watch track & field, but you better believe I care who wins the 100M dash in the Olympics
The same goes for Soccer. I don't have to be interested in the MLS, UEFA, Euro 2008 or whatever; one month every four years a bunch of guys at the top of their game bust their hump for their country in the hope of achieving their sport's immortality...you better believe I'm watching.
Interesting commentary. If I am in fact the "hippie Euro snob fairy" who intentionally mistimes posts that you are referring to, then thanks for the misinformed & unprovoked attack.
Truth be told I had a date on Monday night that went way later than expected, so I wrote that post at 1 a.m. PST because I had told Swindle that it would be up by Tue a.m. EST so he could then post on Tuesday. Unfortuantely blogger.com is not cooperating so he has been unable to login to the site, and I am slogging through a huge project at work yesterday and today, which is why it remains at the top.
If my goal in life was to bolster comment counts, then I probably would find out the most visited sites and post frequently on all of them, hoping to maximize the # of people that might get turned onto me. But being that I don't give a shit about comments, let alone whether other people care or not that I really like soccer, I don't. My site is a fun distraction during mostly downtime filled workdays, and whomever wants to come along for the ride is welcome, but I have no grandiose designs on trying to become the next big thing. And I surely do not care about whether or not my fellow Americans like footy or not. If they do great, if they hate it, cool. I write about it becasue I follow it pretty passionately, just like you write about UM because you are passionate about it.
Anyhow, I'm sorry if the reality of the situation does not match your perception.
Oh, and if you are referencing someone or something else that I am ignorant of, then nevermind all this shit I just wrote.
Either way, keep up your good work and have a great day.
Best sports essay of any kind I've read all year. Outstanding, Brian.
Interesting commentary. If I am in fact the "hippie Euro snob fairy" who intentionally mistimes posts that you are referring to, then thanks for the misinformed & unprovoked attack.
Whoah. Wires crossed, man. I was derisively referring to myself.
Sorry, man.
Wires uncrossed.
Sometimes the Georgia public education and lack of sleep unite to heighten my regular levels of stupidity into some kind of super-dumbass state. My hunblest apologies.
Again, keep up the good work and have a great day.
Wonderful commentary. Of course, anybody who can wallow through the soul-numbing boredom of pro football (the frequent TV timeouts, even between the extra point, kickoff, and initial play; the boring runs into the line; the excruciating indoor punts caught by middling return men; the 35 seconds of standing around before every play, etc.) can deal with soccer. Mr. Power is being willfully obtuse.
i also believe there is much to be said for the downtimes in soccer, as, to me, each pass past midfield offers something to the offense that may be better or worse than the alternative choices and that, if completed, lead quite possibly to the next pass. these linkages are the nothing out of which the explosion occurs and damned if they don't seem to be something, in and of themselves.
i will say this, however: flopping is a fucking pestilence.
Excellent article. Being furrin-born myself, I watch college football because it's the equivalent of soccer in the mad unwavering passion and the fact that "franchises" don't relocate, and before you say anything the MK Dons don't count.
I think my version of the Keane - Kahn memory of yours is the schadenfreude moment of USC beating ND for Holtz's last game -- a rare moment of defiance in the 90s -- and Scotland beating England in the last game at Wembley -- a rare moment of defiance since 1707.
A quick scroll down your blog reveals the true depths of my stupidity, which is perfect, because I hadn't laughed at myself yet today.
From one snobby Euro fairy boy to another, keep on keeping on.
You should check out Ronaldinho's goal against Chelsea in last year's Champions League as well...
Why do all the soccer players go by only 1 name? I'm not making fun, I really would like to know.
Another good youtube to check out is Columbia's goalie scoring against Poland...Yes goalie... Oh well, I'm still pround to be Polish!
All I know is that if you spend too much time covering soccer, and not enough time on Michigan, I think it'll be false advertising to call yourself the #1 Michigan site in the Central Asian Steppe.
What I like best about soccer is that there is always something going on. Contrary to the public perception in this country, there is constant action.
I've never understood how a country that loves football and baseball can complain about a sport not having enough action.
Really getting into soccer ruined me on hockey. Hockey is like soccer on crack. Too frenetic. Too much chaos. And too many breaks.
Anyway, watch out for England this year. Even without Rooney, they should be able to make it out of the group stages and could have him back for the semis. This is the most talented English team in 15-20 years.
Mike-
The vast majority of soccer players do not only have one name. Of the minority who do, most all are Brasilian for some reason. I don't know exactly why this is. I am guessing that it is something cultural that I am unaware of, or perhaps the fact that they tend to have very long names, so perhaps instead of shortening to a "traditional" 2 name name they shorten to simply one. For example, Pele's full name is Edson Arantes do Nascimento, Ronaldo's is Ronaldo Luís Nazário de Lima, and Ronaldinho("Little Ronaldo")'s is Ronaldo de Assis Moreira. This can even get confusing, as there are 2 different Brasilians named Edu playing in Europe, and they have even faced each other in the Champions League.
Non-Brasilains who get to one name status usually do because of their sheer greatness (Diego Maradona simply becomes Maradona) or their full name is tricky (Nwankwo Kanu becomes simply Kanu).
Well said, hard to believe you aren't getting paid for this stuff. I have no problem being a 'hippie euro-snob fairy,' simply because I enjoy a game where it takes more than one pass and/or an isolation play to score. Good comparison to hockey as well, because along with soccer they truly are the only flowing sports that don't stop once (or more) a minute to regroup.
Valderama, as another example. Although I'm not sure if it was so much his skill as his unique look.
All I know is that if you spend too much time covering soccer, and not enough time on Michigan, I think it'll be false advertising to call yourself the #1 Michigan site in the Central Asian Steppe.
I agree with Matt, but will go further. I'm scared that if you write about soccer, I'll associate something I love (Michigan) with something that makes me bored and angry (soccer). It'd be like mixing porn and calculus.
After the Year of the Punt, any recreational kicking is just cruel and gratuitous.
Truth be told I had a date on Monday night that went way later than expected, so I wrote that post at 1 a.m. PST because I had told Swindle that it would be up by Tue a.m. EST so he could then post on Tuesday.
What was his name Kanu?
I think my favorite description of Soccer was from a David Letterman top ten list from when he was still funny:
Soccer: "It's like Hockey without all of that distracting scoring"
Did somebody say porn and calculus?
http://video.google.com/
videopla...635453969513506
awwwwwww, Briannnnn! Why you gotta be a soccer fan!? I really love when you make fun of stuff and soccer is stuff I was looking forward to you making fun of. OK, it's cool...I'm cool. I had a problem with my computer a few days back and I'm not sure why but all of my Firefox bookmarks were erased so I couldn't find my way here for a bit (I couldn't remember how I actually found this spot in the beginning) and I went through a little bit of mgoblog withdrawl. I'm good now ( googled maizenbrew and found the link) so I won't be all finicky 'bout what's blogged over the course of the "Not United States Cup" but could you at least make fun of France or something soccer related (France is soccer related) every now and again? thanks
could you at least make fun of France or something soccer related (France is soccer related) every now and again? thanks
No problem. I mean, really, did you even have to ask?
Let's call the game football. It's war on grass with goalposts.
Of all the criticisms of soccer, you left off the most important one (and least defensible).
And that is this: It's not the sport, it's certain countries who play it. If everybody in the NBA flopped like Manu Ginobili, I wouldn't watch basketball either.
Eric, didn't you say yourself that your most important and least defensible criticism of soccer isn't even about the sport itself? That seems a little odd. At any rate, I think what you mean is that you're put off by the diving that tends to happen with players from certain countries. I can agree with that - diving is a plague on the game, and I love to see a guy get carded after a pathetic flop. But your logic, which would condemn an entire sport because some groups participate that you don't like, doesn't wash. Is football somehow "bad" because OSU plays it?
"Is football somehow "bad" because OSU plays it?"
It's certainly worse.
It's worse because the most hateful thing they can come up with to combat aerial marshmellows is Fuck Michigan t-shirts. I wish they'd show up in Ann Arbor with wearing anti-tear gas bandanas, weilding homemade knives and hurling broken bottles so we could beat them down with brass knuckles and piss all over their corpses hippie euro-snob fairy style. And if you're not into shit like that, you've always got half-naked Brazilian chicks.
J. Lichty-
Sorry to disappoint, it was a girl.
One of the best kept secrets about SF is that it is a great place to be if you are a straight guy with your shit together - lots of beautiful women from all around the world, and not as much competition for said women. Helps counter the exteme cost of living a bit.
Wayne Rooney's Foot - big day for you today, dude. Looks like you are cleared for takeoff. Good luck, and try to stay in one piece (what was this the 3rd time you have broken in less than 4 years?).
Brian,
Edmonton's in trouble...you need to write about them again, get the support going for them man.
Brian
If you cheered Robbie Keane's goal that implies you're Irish or of Irish descent.
Are you then a closet ND fan?
Kidding aside, there must be some connection between football("soccer") and college football. I know a number of people who find them the two most compelling sports.
On that note, if the "gay" rumours are not unfounded, I await Orson Swindle's musings on the World Cup.
Great stuff Brian.
I think so many people hate on soccer because they don't understand it (despite what some say.) Not in the sense that they don't understand the rules but in the sense that they don't understand it from an experiential perspective.
Sure most people have mindlessly kicked a ball around a seven year old or been forced into 50 man games in gym class, but compared to other sports very few American have experienced participating in soccer at a relatively high level (a good high school or club team for instance...or even a quality pick up game.)
If you've played it competively even at that level with people that know what they're doing, you have an appreciation for it that is different and easier to nurture than those with no experience.
I hated basketball for the longest time because I'm 5'9" and I suck unmercifully at it. It took years of my dad and brother (who aren't half bad at it) dragging me to games to begin to have some appreciation for what's all involved with it.
I think lack of experience in it is the main culprit in the "soccer is teh suxorz" crowd. Sure, some people just don't like it...and that's not a crime...but most of the reasons given for not liking it are absurd.
Well said, Brian. I am reminded of the Michigan Frozen Four semifinal in, um, was it 1995 - the triple-overtime game against Maine? I worked at the campus radio staion and my entire broadcast ended up being preempted due to the extended broadcast of that game. There is nothing more excruciating than listening to your team play a single-elimination overtime game via the radio. The broadcast was excellent, especially considering it was two Michigan students doing the play by play. But every near goal for either team had me out of my seat in the basement of the SAB. I managed to scoot over to the union to watch the third OT, but alas my viewing was shortlived.
In any event, my point is that when it comes to hockey and soccer, both sports are so much better if you have a rooting interest. You can watch pretty much any football game at any time - same goes for basketball and baseball (if you're into that sort of thing). But because of the "steady ocean" characteristic of these games, if you're not excited about the near misses, it makes for a long afternoon. So if you're one of those that loves to hate soccer or hockey, pick a team to pull for - or if you have to, lay some money down - and the game will be much more exciting.
Honestly, do you think I could have listened to two hours of hockey on the radio if I didn't care about who won?
The reason Americans don't get it is we've sanatized the game and made it all about kids, moms, vans, sportsmanship and Mia Hamm. Soccer barely resembles the spectacle it is abroad. The Swiss sat out two world wars but they're ready to throw down when it comes to Basel vs. Zurich:
http://riotporn.blogspot.com/200...tball-
riot.html
God, the Maine/UM game in 95? Way to dredge up a painful memory. I remember watching it with my buddies and all of a sudden ESPN changing the broadcast to golf. By the time we'd figured what was going on, the god damn game was over.
We heard it on the radio and didn't believe it. We'd been watching it for four hours so unless we saw it, it wasn't real. Then ESPN ran the highlight.
I drank a lot that night.
Other Andrew - good ole WBCN. I did the news there myself. Good times.
Wyatt - you can be Irish and hate Notre Dame. Me for instance. There is no shame in following The Football Association of Ireland. There's some good young talent in the pipelines. And the UEFA European Championships kick off soon too. Ireland drew Group D which contains: Germany, Czech Republic, San Marino, Slovakia and Wales.
Screw ND. Go Ireland.
Good analysis of soccer football, a game I've learned to follow and love.
Soccer is the opposite of boring--you can't take your eyes from it because you never know when one of the rare goals is going to come. Unlike NFL football or baseball, where you can do something else and go watch the exciting parts.
Go USA
First I am a hockey fan but I cannot see how soccer is more exciting than hockey. Don't get me wrong - I really like watching the world cup (maybe moreso than the Olympic hockey) but IMO hockey is faster, more physical, more difficult to play (IMO), more scoring, less flopping/complaining (although hockey has its share) and even an occassional fight. IMO hockey captures all of the top features of soccer and adds these other factors. Watching soccer is like watching two hockey teams play the trap against each other. Fun to watch for the "big" games but somewhat mundane otherwise.
So why is hockey not more popular worldwide? Climate, availability of ice rinks and tt's expensive but I am not likely to be convinced that soccer is somehow a better, more beautiful sport b/c it's more popular worldwide.
These comments have shown what people do and do not like about sports -- part culture, part pace.
Korea Blue's comment about associating soccer with moms, vans and Hamm says a lot: I think of soccer as suburban, sedate and upper-middle class, kind of the anti-NASCAR, more a point of cultural identity than a sport. I know that's not the case abroad, but not having grown up brawling with English toughs, that means little to nothing.
Also interested in the comments that discuss sports preferences concerning non-stop action versus periodic scoring. When I think of hockey, I think of bruisers. Scoring may be rare, but the game is fast-paced and high-contact. The ethos is like rugby. Also, with rinks smaller than soccer fields, the action is kinetic, like a game of pinball. Soccer's movements are more elegant, and as with Olympic figure skating, I can appreciate the skill and tension, but that doesn't make it less boring.
As far as needing to spend a lot of time with a team to appreciate the game -- that's true for any sport. If you grow up in a tennis family, you'll like tennis. That's not an argument on behalf of liking soccer, just an explanation as to why a lot of us don't. I'm sure cricket's amazing if you grew up with it. But maybe that's the lesson: you like what you grew up with, and like religion or musical tastes, it can be tough to convert once your habits are in place.
I've got no religion on this. Let the Swiss riot; I'll be more entertained when Sparty riots, and we lose to Vandy in with 3:30 left in the fourth quarter.
Watch the video on this swiss blog...soccer is just stupid...at least the fans
http://basel.kaywa.ch/basel-heut...el-fcb-
fcz.html
Wyatt - you can be Irish and hate Notre Dame. Me for instance.
Ditto. And Catholic, even! ND's whole thing is verrry close to the precise opposite of Ireland's culture, which makes the former even more annoying. ND's version of Irish is green Budweiser.
I'm fairly neutral where soccer is concerned - I don't love it or hate it. But I don't understand how anyone could call it more exciting than hockey. Both are low-scoring, but hockey has FAR more scoring chances.
I too agree that soccer is quite a boring sport. I put baseball in the same category also.
But i think there's another reason why Americans don't like soccer.
Americans are not the best at soccer. Plain and simple, since America is not the best at it, Americans ignore it and say its boring and not entertaining. Although I understand this point of view, it seems childish and foolish.
The reason why Americans aren't great at soccer is that the best athletes play other sports. There is more money involved in football, basketball, baseball, hockey, etc. and those reasons along with popularity and exposure has resulted in the better athletes with more God-given talent to play other sports and not soccer. In every other country, soccer is where the best athletes go. Not here. Not in America.
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