It's all fun and games until somebody loses an eye
Method two has worked for me a couple of times - usually after unsuccessfully using method one for several weeks/months/years...
Fuck - those three sound really easy. I think I may have totally overcomplicated things by starting an amusing internet weblog based on my experiences in a small Norfolk village.
Hmm... Method 1?
My girlfriend's got a stalker.
Well, she's not really my girlfriend, I just have my eye on her.
My advice (based on a not-very-prolific record). One, two, two again, then (just as all hope seemed lost) three. A surefire combination in my experience, with the slight downside that it spanned the best part of ten years. Not for the fainthearted, that's for damn sure.
Don't bother with "I'd quite like to fuck you" at midnight after six hours on the beer. Keeps you celibate for years, that one.
Commenting by HaloScan
