What Say Thee?
So much easier being a bloke. Just squeeze past the smokers by the back door and up the garden to inspect the flowers for a few moments, a contemplative, far away look in your eyes....
Oh God, that reminds me of the loo I went into in a restaurant last week. When I went in there someone had obviously had a curry the night before and it smelled really bad, so I wrinked my nose and tinkled real quick, only to be horrified to see someone waiting to come in to the loo after me.
I quickly said 'oh my it smells real bad in there, some people hay?'
But she just gave me a look as if she didn't believe me. I was mortified!
I got invited into the ladies toilet at work the other day. I was very excited. There I was, minding my own business, tending the bar when when one of the barmaids arrived, wearing marigolds.
'Nik?' she says 'Can you come to the ladies with me please?'
I look at her, look at the gloves and think - yeah ok, I'm game.
'You'll need a broom handle.' she says. I pause at this point, confused nd a little scared. I look at her, at the gloves at the broom casually resting against the bar. I pick up the broom. - Okkkk, I say with narrowed eyes.
So we go in.
I will spare you the details, but 'something' was crawling out from above the water, in fact from above the bowl. I was fairly certain that the woman that gave birth to it must be dead somewhere. I raised my broom handle, spear like.
Stand back - I say, all heroic like. And I enter the cubicle.
Toilets are fun aren't they?
Really? British people are always this nice?
I think British people would hate me.
Haha, so familiar! I would be the girl going 'I might be a bit longer than you. I might be a bit longer than you...'
Huh, I'm sure I'd copy pasted that properly! Very strange. Of course I meant to write I'd be the one going 'I might be a bit longer than you. Not that I am having or poo or anything. I need a wee...'
Whoops, I'm special...
Is there a second part to this post, in which something, anything, happens?
Or do we just chalk up yet another Pooh (with an H, dahling) joke?
Know what? I queued for the toilet too, yesterday. There were three more blokes waiting as well. Hope you enjoyed that story!
That is really British!
At the campsite we were a bit more Dutch about it... Well, there were almost exclusively Dutch guests staying there, so there you go. The shower room (closed off by a curtain) lead to the toilet, so everytime someone was in the shower and you had to pee, you had to announce you were coming through so they could close the shower curtain. I told one of the other girls 'I won't peek!' as a joke, to which she replied 'Oh and even if you did, I won't mind'. We really are an exhibitionist people. We're also known for keeping the curtains open at night...
And I hope you had a lovely wee. Personally, Ilike to have my loo all to myself, which is why I hate staying with somebody.
Still in France? I'm with TB, wee outside, everyone else does.
Oh god, that sounds like the conversation i'd get caught up in. except i'd be the other girl . . .
I think you just bring out the funny in everyone around you. How do you do it?
Brother- Yup, I think quite a few of the boys did that. The clematis bush has come up lovely!
Foxy69- I wouldn't have believed you... and I probably would have gone back to my table, pointed you out to everyone and said, 'crikey! I'm surprised she isn't dead!'
Watching9987- That story made me laugh out loud, and then The Boyfriend read it and it made him laugh too. Genius.
Chris- maybe not ALL British people are this nice... just a lot of them.
Confused- she made me laugh so much!
2-sox- Humour can be found in the most everyday of situations, can't it?
Marjolein- REALLY?????!!!! You keep the curtains open...???
Ian- Yup, me too. I had to get over my fears pretty quickly!
Ernest- a bit of the squat, shimmy and shake you mean?
Paula- Nooooo! You wouldn't, would you?!
JL- Awww, thank you! But I think she made this one funny all by herself. It was brilliant!
Yes, a lot of Dutch people keep the curtains open. It's a 'I don't have anything to hide' kind of attitude. And it feels more spacious inside if you can look outside.
Marjolein- I'll bear that in mind!
Psst...do you really say "gosh" that much?
That's even more British than letting someone use the loo before you.
Jo- I am a fan of 'gosh' over 'god', yes... maybe I should reassess that.
well I hope you enjoyed you wee! lets hope she really didn't need a poo.. ouch..
Emmie- EWWWWWW!
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