Zowie. All the things I never knew about parenting!!
Thank you for stopping through my site - I'll have to keep an eye on this one for more articles!
When I say "you" in this comment, I mean the universal populace...not YOU. I happen to agree with what you say here.
It seems that all of these psycho-babble books about raising kids stick to the extremes. There's no balance.
Exploring is good for kids (with the exception of crystal shops, other people's houses, and hardware stores.) There are limits and I think God has given every parent the ability to determine what those limits are. Every kid is different. I could let my daughter explore much more than my son because I knew she wouldn't disassemble someone's vehicle. My son, on the other hand...
Anyway, if your kids are doing something that will get them injured then stop them...it doesn't necessarily warrant punishment unless you've told them not to do it in the past. Curiosity is not a punishable offense but disrespect is.
When my son was 3, he insisted that a Japaleno on my nachos was a pickle. He wanted it and he kept asking for it. I told him numerous times
Truncated by the flood demon:
I told him numerous times that it wasn't a pickle. He began to show his temper, so I let him have a small piece. Did I need to punish him? NO...he punished himself.
Some parents would have called that abuse. They can bite me. He wasn't mentally scarred and now that he's 17, he actually prefers spicy food. No mental trauma involved.
"Time outs" don't work on most children! If your kid is sitting in a shopping cart screaming at the top of his lungs and you ignore him, you are the only one in the entire store doing so.
Take the time to walk the child to the car and BE A PARENT. If it's too much trouble to leave your shopping cart behind and parent your child, maybe you shouldn't have had kids.
You know...I could rant on this for the rest of the morning...I think I'll just stop here.
I wanted to add...
You can buy every book on the shelf about parenting, but for a Christian there's really only one authority. Sketchy as it is; it leaves parenting to what comes naturally.
A mother's natural tendency is to pick up a crying baby. Who are these doctors to tell us that's wrong? I find it difficult to believe that an 8 month old child is a conniving manipulator that's bent on selfishness. A mother tending to her child is in no way hurting that child.
Kids need to know that their Mother loves them. Especially as babies. Face it, when a baby is that small it really doesn't care much about the father because, quite honestly the father is not the one fulfilling the baby's emotional needs. The father's biggest role in the early months is to help the mother who is overwhelmed with life. Of course, part of that role is to show the child love and affection (I don't want to discount that) but the baby naturally wants its mother.
Ok...I'm going to stop now.
I...can't...stop...
Ok...the issue about the parent/child bond:
Something that is almost always left out in these books is that, when done correctly, punishment also forms a bond between parent and child...a GOOD bond. It builds respect...MUTUAL respect.
A person cannot learn what it takes to earn respect until they've first been taught HOW TO respect.
Kids also will never respect a person that is constantly slapping them around, or who is unjust...they will only act like they respect you.
Punishment must be warranted by rule breaking...your kids have to know what the rules are and what the consequences for breaking them will be. It's the parent's responsibility to enforce them. The child should know exactly what punishment they are getting before they get it.
Maybe I should compile these comments and post them on my site so you can have your HaloScan back.
Yikes! Who hijacked my Haloscan? 
Interesting thoughts... thanks for sharing! Feel free to post on your site, I think it'll be a great read.
Not too long ago, my (almost) 12yo son decided that the homemade beer inside a 2-liter Coke bottle in our fridge was actually a Coke, and that we were lying to him (we don't normally have soda in our house). After an unsuccessful attempt to convince him, I told him to give it a try and see for himself. He just took a sniff... that was enough.
You're right... while we do need books on parenting to show the new parents how it's done, the best ones are the ones that encourage the parents to use their own brains and/or instincts. The worst ones (that can be found on both ends of the spectrum) say: "do as you're told, or your child will suffer permanent damage".
Excellent blog about the Ezzo programs. It's very sad to see the children that are "Ezzo'd".....
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