Loved this, on so many levels. Have had my own experience of mental illness, and could relate to so much of A Beautiful Mind when I watched it, especially that scene you describe... where everything is connected to everything else and if only we can make sense of it all will be understood and we'll finally get there.
(there? where? wherever it is we're trying to get to where we can relax and just be... oh, here? it can't be here... can it?)
I love how you tie it in to your own experience of meditation, and of seeking.
How even the practice of yoga can turn into the very thing we're trying to escape from.
I don't have any great words of wisdom to offer. Merely gratitude that you offered this up.
So thank you,
KL
Awareness and community shape a cosmos awash in random data into form and order and beauty and balance.
Awareness and community might be part of the cosmos awash in random data shaping itself into something we consider to be form and order and beauty and balance. Rather than a perspective operating somehow outside the cosmos, making something of something else, I mean.
Or it could be a host of other kinds of flowings together and pullings apart.
But instead of more certainty of the real, what I can lay claim to is seeing more clearly what there is to see from the inside of whatever it is that I’m inside of.
Is that the ground?
I've never thought of calling that place that shifts and changes and squirms like that (as it does for me)"the ground."
It feels to me more like, "the water we walk on."
i'm left with no words....just a feeling of infinite respect and gratitude for your honesty and courage. thank you for this incredible post. it's a gift that i will carry with me...
KL,
...if only we can make sense of it all will be understood and we'll finally get there.
That phrase captures so much of my existence. Thanks for it.
pk,
I think you're right that whatever it/I is/am, we're inside the cosmos rather than outside it/us.
jessa,
Thanks for visiting. I understand you've opted to go private. I miss visiting your blog.
sean
sean, i'm so moved by this... so incredibly moved...
i leafed through "The Interior Castle" yesterday, by the medieval Christian mystic Theresa of Avila, and she talks about reptiles... these same reptiles you speak of... facing them, banishing them... our thoughts, the voices we hear rarely or often, the nagging, the weight of the world that can sit so heavily on our shoulders. i stand all amazed at the inner work you do to keep your interior castle clear.
peace and kindness
I like what the other commenter said about "the water we walk on." Can't say it any better than that!
hey i like your blog i too suffer with mental illness perhaps we can talk more about it sometime
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