Sleep Dirt || Comments
sounds great. Good luck! 
A new canvas already absorbing your brush strokes. Did Jackson Pollock used to dance with his paint, or was that Kandinsky? . . . like movement and sound. i have just had an idea, i would like to get taps for my shoes. I could make music wherever i go. It could get quite annoying though, click kertock, click kertok but then I could go take them off. I hope! barefoot . . . soft thuds of little rubber souls - black not red - . . .shuffle of socks along polished wooden floorboards .. . ... ........ a panther under a wich's moon . . .
just dancing.
who is Lorna Dee Cervantes?
that's so cool the banana is dancing to the beatles - here comes the sun
:o) hahaha
You will find your way.
You're as strong as an oak tree.
hugs xox
I've always wondered if the light I'm asked to walk toward upon my death will hurt my eyes.
I love you, brother. Send me a phone number, an address, something. What seems to be you is still you, after all.
All their sympathy. What's it worth? Is this what you need? Take it. It's all you've got.
I'm sure you're getting sympathy too, from friends that have only heard your side of the story. Everybody deserves sympathy in this life. I hope things get better for everyone concerned.
What, was he fucking you too, behind my back? That's my side. I don't deserve sympathy for that?
Daniel. Take my link down. I am tired of being the ogre in your life. You have "our" friends. You have your family. You no longer need me to be your windmill.
I didn't say you didn't deserve sympathy - you're understandably a bit on edge. (I'll point out that he has the link to the old page that no longer works anyway)
I will say that the marriage was in trouble long before Dan fucked up and went looking for affection elsewhere. Everybody has things they have to take responsibility for. Right now emotions are too raw for anybody to do competent self-evaluation, but hopefully in time everybody concerned will be able to look back and see things more clearly. And hopefully learn from them.
I'll ignore the accusation, as its born of your pain, not your brain. And you say to Daniel that he has "our" friends like none of us have offered a hand of friendship to you? If you ignore a friend's offer of friendship, is it any wonder that we get the impression that you're not interested?
I think you both should take your entire blogs offline for the duration. This is only going to get worse. Post private entries to livejournal; you can put them up after everything is done with. If you need to vent, pick up the phone or email friends & family. Divorces are painful enough without being done in a public forum.
Sorry? Which friend am I missing here? I've checked my email on a daily basis, my voicemail, my comments, and I haven't received much in terms of a "Hi How Are ya" from most anyone. And I suppose it's this ugly unfriendly attitude I've developed, huh. I will say: James has been there whether I liked it or not James will always be there for both of us, and we understand the awkwardness of the situation. And you're right, whoever you are. We should both take down our blogs, and why not? I did not spend the past 5 years blogging character assasination against my husband. And if you're also implying the issues in our marriage before his infidelity are also on my head, fine. I drove him to do it. I'm again unworty, angry, hateful and just a plain bitch. Because that is what he's basically been telling you all for so long. It's what you want to believe. Because it would be easier than believing the truth. That the golden boy ain't so golden. It's easier to say "Dan, if she's putting you through so much pain, you had a right to do what you did." Than to say 'Hey. Grow up! You got married, had a child, and refused to accept a little repsonsibility."
You're right. This is no place for this kind of crap. You all love him in ways that he needs to be loved. That's not what pisses me off. Everyone deserves someone to care for them, to listen to them, to accept them for who are what they are.
I did that. I stayed faithful. I stayed true. I put up with more shit than ANY of you will ever know or realize because really, no one ever actually asked my side of things. And now that I want to tell my side of things, I'm being told this isn't the place or time for it. I am totally unhinged by the lack of respect this man has shown me in my life, especially after all we've been through together. And I am disappointed in those who say they've "reached out" to me and I've got no phone logs, no email trail, nothing from these same people.
Tell me I have no right to my anger. Tell me there were issues before he did what he did. And then tell me you ever asked me in truth or honesty what I went through while he was playing his violin to all of you.
I commented waaaay back in August or September, as did my partner, with our phone numbers and everything, and offers of friendly ears and shoulders. Neither of us got any response. We didn't want to be pushy, as we figured you were going through a rough time, and when/if you wanted to talk, you'd know we were there. We always have been.
I didn't say you "drove him to it" - it was most definitely a fuckup on his part, and no matter what problems you two had in your relationship before that, it doesn't excuse his lack of judgement. I'm just saying - and as far as I know, you agree - that there were problems before that, and that nobody is totally blameless for the end result of the divorce. I know he's not perfect by any stretch of the imagination - he's passive-aggressive, obsessive, etc. - and I do not excuse his behaviour. You have every right to be angry. However, a marriage is a partnership, and it requires both people to work, both together and separately, for it to work. It IS possible to fix a marriage after infidelity - it just takes a shitload of work. I've been cheated on before, so I know to some extent what you're feeling. My counselor suggested this book: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obido...2838997-
4764759 which was actually very helpful to me. There are hundreds of books out there dealing with surving it in your relationship, have you read any of them? If not, why not?
My point about taking down the blogs is this - emotions run amok during divorces. It's an amazingly stressful time. This sort of he said/she said stuff cannot do anything BUT make both of you feel worse. No amount of vindication that either of you gets from commenters is going to help you two solve what has to be solved - you have a child together. You have assets to separate. 10 years from now, do you want your son coming across something hateful said in the passion of the moment? This is why counselors exist. They're a safe receptacle for the explosions of anger, hurt, depression, fury, disgust, and confusion that come with divorce. They're like kleenex. Blow this stuff anywhere else, and it more than likely will come back to haunt you.
And no, quite frankly, I don't think this is the time or place for you to tell your side. The relationship between you two is just that - between you two. None of us have been there. None of us have seen anything but fragments of it. Do you feel like you have to justify your anger by saying what a rotten person he is? The reasons you two are splitting up is nobody's business but yours. If you feel the need to talk to a sympathetic friend, that's one thing - but posting it publicly on the internet? What possible good could come of that? That just encourages rubberneckers - it's another wreck to ogle on their way past.
Last comment. Then I'm out.
Agreed. Marriage is a partnership. I never lost sight of that. NEVER. Our partnership fell apart over petty shit that he couldn't get over. I stuck with him through more crap, and my reward is to be labled the "Party Pooper" in his life. The "Fun Kiler." When one person is turned into the "Parent" in a marriage, it pretty much is over. Don't think I enjoyed that role. Or the results of my being forced to take it.
Yes. You can survive infidelity and stay married. But what if he's still fucking around on you? What if he's been cultivating his next relationship while you're thinking things are going to work? We went to counseling. We read the texts. We did the homework. And he learned all the correct terminology, and I learned you can only talk so much about something before beating it into the ground. Counseling did not work for us. Especially in light of the fact that -- and this is where my anger comes from, boys and girls -- all along, he kept a girl in his back pocket, just in case. Now how the hell is that "working things out?" You go to counseling with me, bitch at me for not "trying" and all along, you've given your "Save the Date" card to your new girl. I was not the one who gave up on us. Why do you think I'm so fucking pissed about all of this? That in the end, I was bitch-slapped to reality by the site of him sitting on our couch, in our home, talking to his new love.
And his reply: "I'm sorry. That was uncool."
"un.cool."
I'll only put up with so much. Why should I stay around in the face of such blatant disregard? Who would?
For the record, I have taken down my blog - or at least I've killed the entries. I've also put the challenge to him to do the same.
And for everyone else, I'm sorry for the public forum. Not entirely, but enough. Because this is ugly. But that's pretty much how I feel lately. Everyone's situation is different. What happened between me and Dan only ranks up there with the loss of my parents. And that nasty feeling of loss and betrayal is jammed deep into my soul. Maybe some part of me just wants to infect everyone and everything around me with this same angst. That is not the healthiest attitude to have. I'm pulling myself together for the benefit of Curren, and I swear I could get through anything if this would all just be overwith.
*shrug*
fuckit. This is where I'm at, right now. I'll get through this. Check on me in a year, if you care to.
I'm out.
Commenting by HaloScan
