Worse than 'The Draco.' Wow....
- I knew your review of Wolverine #55 would be well worth reading. Worse than Chuck Austen indeed. Dominant Species may have been stupid, but there were promising subplots in there.
- Ramos on Runaways : it looks like they're recycling unused art from the Runaways Saga oneshot (where Gert's presence made sense).
Nice reviews, I found myself at the verge of laughing -lucky me, I read that... thing for free- and I couldn't agree more with every point you made.
This seemed like a mixture of many horrible trends of the 90s: convoluted stories which didn't get the concept and only added complications for the sake of it, characters getting evil for no reason, layers and layers of shadowy past (wasn't Origin allowed to be done because they realized Wolvie's past could be explained without the character losing its main point?), villains whose only explanation for their "evilness" seemed to be "BECAUSE I CAN"...certainly Bianchi keeps improving and it seems as if Loeb has given him some leeway in respect to page composition, etc. Waste of talent.
Now, I'd be very interested in reading a review of All-Star Batman when (if?) it finishes, since it seems to be treading similar paths: nice art, way too fan-fictionish, some "cool moments" amidst a nonsense plot that goes nowhere. Paul, are you up to the challenge? 
Funny thing about Wolverine and Sabertooth being descended from wolves... it's been done before. In the Paradise X series, one of the many plot threads involves Logan ragaining his wolf-tribe memories and going to rejoin them. Yes, I know that the Earth X trilogy isn't in continuity, but still... Loeb is just borrowing from this earlier series. I thought it was dumb them and I think it's dumb now.
Now that I think about it, Gert has a built-in out for coming back : Time Travel. Hey, it worked for Captain Marvel !
Y'know: I actually like All-Star Batman & Robin. Explaining it would take a whole review, but it's the only Batman book I bother to look at nowadays (started off buying Morrison's Batman, but it really did feel like something Morrison was doing in five minutes' free time every day). I don't put it in nearly the same camp as this storyline, and I'm perfectly aware of all that there is to criticize about it.
Nor would I call this latest storyline a product of the '90's; this is far worse. It's like I keep thinking "I've seen it alll; that was the most awful idea ever" and Marvel keeps taking that as a challenge.
The Clone Saga was overly-long, overly-"mysterious", and therefore boring, plus extremely offensive to Spider-Man fans who actually did believe what Marvel apparently wanted them to, that they'd been reading the story of a man's life half of forever only to be told, "Hey! That stuff didn't matter! Here's the real guy!".
But it wasn't totally illogical and inane like this.
Nor was "Onslaught", which was again lackluster, both overreaching and overstretching because it was not designed to be a Marvel-wide event. Indeed, it was not properly thought out beforehand as an X-over.
But never did my logic circuits totally blow when reading it.
Nope; Austen introduced me to that. And now Loeb - until now, a solid writer who I never really liked due to his seeming "write-by-numbers" style (want to write a Loeb-like Batman story? Introduce a mystery in issue 1, then 10 issues of the hottest guest stars, and wrap it all up) has dethroned him.
There was a time in my adolescence (gimme a break here) when I imagined that I'd like to be a Marvel writer. Now I can't imagine taking such a job if offered, for no other reason than I'd actually have to work with these totally bizarre people.
-The only other redeeming quality of Wolverine #55 (Bianchi being the first) was the secret variant cover. I'm a sucker for the retro covers.
-Never read any of Moore's work. From what I hear, he'd be great on Runaways. Looking forward to it. And I fall into the seemingly small group of Ramos fans.
I'm disappointed Ramos is taking over Runaways art chores, if only because Michael Ryan's art is certainly whats keeping my onboard with Whedon writing.
Don't get me wrong, I love Whedon. He just seems to be on autopilot. for all his claims of loving Runaways, his quality of work hasn't really shoqwn it, and it's already being delayed.
But, yeah, Michael Ryan is really underrated, and he deserves a book like Runaways for a long time. It plays to all his strengths and will give him exposure.
Why is Gert in the promo art? Because it's a random piece of art Ramos did ages ago (or at least I think it is, it looked familiar).
I'm generally not a fan, but I liked the pages he drew in "Runaways Saga", so I'm optimistic.
I cannot believe that no one chided Marvel at San Diego about either Wolverine title being just bad books. DC seemed to get beat up a bit more, especially when they had no answer as to why Supergirl has not been anywhere near an "all-ages" read like they consider other books out there (like Superman).
I know those who go to conventions are usually the ones who defend the creators to the death, but Wolverine was the perfect example of the rebirth of '90s Image material and deserved to get some crap thrown its way.
And the artists on the Spider-Man books are a joke, schedule-wise. Outside of Larocca, I doubt we will see them in 6 months time once this 3 a month experiment starts. Remember when Jiminez was the "regular" artist on New X-Men, and only did 7 issues in two arcs that were plagued with delays near the end (around New X-Men #150).
Larocca, Bagley, Scott McDaniel, and JRjr. Those four would really make 3 issues a month work.
That Wolverine review is probably your best since the pentametric She Lies With Angels review.
Great reviews this week. When are the indexes being updated again? A few months ago you mentioned some kind of announcement was forthcoming...
"There was a time in my adolescence (gimme a break here) when I imagined that I'd like to be a Marvel writer. Now I can't imagine taking such a job if offered, for no other reason than I'd actually have to work with these totally bizarre people."
Adam, I couldn't have put it better and thanks for explaining to us, Paul, why there is no hope whatsoever for Wolverine: Origins - it was a great, albeit sad, read. I really loved the character of Wolverine when I was a young teen - I grew up with Frank Miller/Chris Claremonts "Wolverine" series, which I think captured Wolverine as a character in a way no one has ever did since. I know that characters should of course change, also away from CCs original, definition to be alive and interesting.
But these days, Wolverine, and a lot of other Marvel characters are a mockery of what they used to be. And you can virtually prove it scientifically. It is not just opinion.
We can only hope that capitalism soon solves the problem and kills off the title (Origins), and by the looks of sales lately, it seems as if the system for once is doing something good - although the writer and editor probably can't understand that.
"ever DONE since" ... Sorry for the typos - I hope I made sense anyway 
I once mistook my cat for Sasquatch. The Weekly World News guys were not impressed in the least.
Not a lot to say about most of the rest of the reviews and revelations, except that I *used* to be a huge Humberto Ramos fan. I loved his work on Impulse--still do--but when he's asked to draw something more straightforward and action-driven, I find myself drawn to the outlandish designs and angles and stuff, and it just doesn't *work* for me.
"Great reviews this week. When are the indexes being updated again? A few months ago you mentioned some kind of announcement was forthcoming..."
Ah, I had almost forgotten about this. So, yeah I'm quite interested in either updated indexes, or an announcement.
That Wolverine piece was the most enjoyable review I have ever read at the x-Axis. Bravo. I was going to say that this story might be Wolverine's equivalent to Spidey's Clone Saga, but at least that didn't have as many plot holes as Wolvie's storyline.
Isn't Jeph Loeb the writer for Ultimates 3? Can we write off that once-great franchise already? The Maduiera art (which I like in some instances) is very off-putting, in any case.
It's like I keep thinking "I've seen it alll; that was the most awful idea ever" and Marvel keeps taking that as a challenge.
Heh. I know exactly what you mean. It's been a very ropey couple of years for Marvel.
By the way, Paul, you forgot one more strike against Wolverine #55: pretentious Latin title. Very rarely a good sign in superhero comics.
So Whedon's off Runaways already? Well that was worth the fuss.
El Santo, yeah, Loeb's doing Ultimates 3 and 4. So assuming that Madureira can be bothered to draw it, that's two years of Marvel's once-flagship title that won't be worth reading. I wouldn't be surprised to see the "guest star in every issue" format Loeb loves so much creep up yet again.
As for most scathing X-Axis reviews, I've always been fond of Paul's review of the Fantastic Four issue that finished up the "Galactus is dead!" plot. Carlos Pacheco wrote that, but I believe Loeb scripted it. Also a good read is Paul's coverage of that whole "terrorists are bad, mkay" Captain America relaunch.
A powerful case can be made that this is the worst Wolverine storyline of all time. I certainly can't think of any obvious contenders.
What about the one with Cardinal Panzer and his brainwashing Elves?
It's easy to criticise, but it's impossible not to sometimes. Seems like Wolverine might really be that bad. My favourite Wolverine End/Origin story happened in Earth X, which played off the whole idea of Wolverine not being a mutant, but in a way that made sense.
As for Moore and Ramos on Runaways, I really don't like what's been said in interviews. Making Victor and Xavin villains would be a serious mistake.
Somebody else mentioned Matt Nixon's Catholic Church two-parter in e-mail. It's horrible, but to be honest, I'd completely forgotten about it. And that's probably where Loeb has the edge, because he's written a story which is actively damaging to the character.
Someone on Newsarama pointed out that Terry Moore's interview was the first one in ages he'd seen where an incoming writer seemed to completely ignore the personalities of the characters and discussed them exclusively in terms of their powers. Considering what he's written, it does seem odd.
Add me to the list of those reluctantly intrigued and interested in Final Crisis. I mean, if nothing else, it should be interesting.
I've always liked reading Paul's utter demolitions of Mutant X #32 and of The Draco, in reviewing final part of that storyline. Actually, most of Chuck Austen's issues are nicely reviewed.
Anyway, all of this Loeb-bashing makes me very glad I decided against Ultimates 3 a while back.
Oh yes, the reviews of the final few issues of Mutant X were what hooked me on The X Axis in the first place. Horrible but hilarious.
Oh, Paul. Sometimes I wish Marvel would sink lower on purpose just so you'd get the claws out more often.
It's comics like Wolverine #55 that really make me stop and contemplate the publishing process. Jeph Loeb sits in front of a word processor and outlines a six-part story wherein Wolverine is revealed to be... hell, I don't even know how to classify it. A lupine version of "Highlander"? What-ever.
Then he writes six scripts based on this idea. First draft, second draft, etc. Then he hands it in to editorial. Axel Alonso, Patron Saint of the Rubber Stamp, sees the by-line and figures hey, Jeph Loeb's that guy who wrote that thing that time, and green-lights it. Or (the more horrifying prospect) he reads it, and thinks it's really the best way to tell a Wolverine story in 2007. Presumably, someone mentions this to Quesada as well, since they promoted Loeb's run as a Big Deal. And boom, this visibly crappy idea with no redeeming qualities whatsoever makes it out the gate. Scary.
(Bright side? No chance in hell any writer's picking that up once Way and Loeb move on. )
As for Ellis... eh. He feels so played-out at this point, and nothing I've seen suggests he's got anything new or exciting to contribute. It's going to be "Extremis" all over again.
I'm feeling the same conflict when it comes to "Final Crisis". Honestly, I'd pick it up on the strength of Morrison's writing if I had any reason to believe that the story would be accessible to someone who never read "Countdown" and its many, many spin-offs.
Jonny: You know, I hadn't noticed that bit about the Terry Moore interview - I was more concerned with how pretty much everything he described involves a variation of "everything you knew about this character is wrong!" Xavin's untrustworthy; Chase is actually a character from another unpublished Moore book; Nico's into "mother earth and nature" (wha huh?), Victor's still going to be evil despite everything he's been through (Moore keeps saying "I believe the predictions about Victor, I believed every word I read", and... well, that's never a good way to read a Brian Vaughan comic, is it?), etc. It just feels a bit off.
Diana, that sounds like the way it happened - !
Another thing that boggles the mind these days about Marvel is not the number of mindnumbingly bad stories, but also the almost fanatic insistence on being completely oblivious to the most basic historical facts.
Some years back there was yet another relaunch or whatever of Captain America, where the opening scene IIRC was a US paratrooper assault on Iceland in 1945 to stop the Nazis from building a rocketlike weapon which could threaten the US and 'turn the tides of the war'.
Well, first of all, it must have happened in some alternative timeline because the US themselves occupied Iceland in 1941 (then a part of Denmark, which had been occupied by Germany in 1940) and in 1945 Germany was all but beaten, not really able to built a line of intercontinental rockets of any kind any more, Marvel tech or not.
All you have to do was to look that up on, say, on the internet which would have taken about 5 seconds, but no one bothered.
Likewise in the last issue of Wolverine he and Cap are fighting Nazis in the Italian Alps in 1942! First of all Italy was not occupied by Germany until its capitulation to the Allies in 1ate 1943, secondly borders on the ridiculous to have two men, super or not, fight a whole army behind enemy lines. Maybe back in Timely's days but this is 2007, right?
Well, just a few other examples that are think are a far more disturbing indication of some of the current creators' lack of common knowledge - rather than the alleged cat-sasquatch connection from Wolvie # 55.
After all, only a select few, like myself know that sasquatches are really related to easter bunnies - it is really a special field of knowledge, and I don't think it is right to blame Jeph Loeb for not having had the time to research that
Again I apologise for the typos, it is getting late and I am seeing sasquatches ... wolves ... wolverines ... cats ... arh forget about it. These comics are not worksafe!
Because of you I´ve not read any number of the Loeb run on Wolverine. I has come to that, if you don´t aprove it I don´t read it.
How ever, being a long time Wildstorm reader, I jumped into Stormwatch PHD and found myself enjoying it a lot. And then you post a high score review of that series. So I guess our tates are similar.
Another point Paul missed: Loeb is actively trying to connect a guy named Wolverine to a descended line of wolves. Now, I don't think a character has to be the literal personalification of their code name, but Loeb seems to think Wolverine does . . . except he's either willingly ignoring what a wolverine actually is and believes his reading audience dumb enough to follow along, or he seriously thinks they're related to wolves.
By the way Paul, and I know this is the equivalent of asking you to jump head-first into a firey toxic pit filled with giant venomous hornets, but do you think you could do a full-fledged review of Onslaught Reborn #4? Again, sorry!
Ulrik Kristiansen, you're thinking of The Ultimates, Issue 1. That's legitimately is an alternate history.
Love your work Paul, keep up the good Work. Frank Tieri's run was far better than this current Wolverine stuff.
regarding the spiderman creative teams, indeed, couldn't they have hired a group of creators that have a track record for being very punctual. It would be like getting Art Adams, Frank Quitely and Bryan Hitch to be able to deliver a monthly schedule long term. It's not going to happen.
As regards continuity: Andrew, it just seems strange to me that a more 'realistic version' of Marvel with less magic and less fantasy should have an alternate history so removed from our own/Earth 616 - the alien chitauri involvement in WWII notwithstanding. If Germany had bases on Iceland in 1945, in the Ultimate Marvel Universe/Earth 1610 apparently WWII ended several years later. But thanks for reminding me of its alternate status, Andrew. It wouldn't be right to point out this as another example of a lack of historical knowledge as one of Marvel's faults, if it is indeed an alternate history. And maybe the cat-sasquatch-wolverine connection is, as Paul pointed out so clearly, a greater problem. History can be 'tampered with' to produce a good story, but the story has to make some kind of sense.
I've only just heard the news about Runaways on this thread, so went straight over to Newsarama. Whedon's adding a character? It must be one of those street kids who will end up displaced in time by going "back" with the Runaways...
I'm hesistant but then I'm sure Marvel has faith in the title. Did bringing on Whedon create the desired boost for the series?
... I hope it's not as simple as Victor just becoming the villian he's supposedly "destined" to be. After all, in that possible future Gert was still alive.
Here's what I meant to say originally! I'd be very interested to know Paul's thoughts on Ellis's Excalibur run, in light of his appointment on Astonishing X-Men. I really enjoyed it at the time (it was my first exposure to Ellis to be honest), but looking back I could see how those who prefer a more traditional approach would object.
A thought just crossed my mind: can Squirrel Girl potentially be part of this wolf storyline? I mean, it can't be more ridiculous than adding Sasquatch to the mix, right? Plus, it give Dan Slott an opening to spoof this whole thing in his next Great Lakes Avengers special.
Oh, I can see that.
"Well gee, Mr Logan, if cat-people and sabretoothed-tiger-people and wolverine-people can be part of this, why can't a squirrel girl?"
Tippy-Toe Says:
"Did you know a wolverine is a kind of badger? Tell your friends! Tell Jeph Loeb!"
Anon: Actually, both wolverines and badgers are members of the weasel family.
Great reviews Paul. I adore Wolverine but his character is getting the shit beaten out it by these crappy stories. Also a Wolverine is more closely related to a weasel than a wolf as you probably already know. It's one of those evolutionary retarded inbetween species, they aren't exactly scavengers but they can't hunt very well; they can't run as fast as wolves they aren't as strong as bears, they don't have as good a sense of smell as either of their rivals in the food chain. But they're very scrappy. I guess comparing Wolverine to a weasel bear- like thing, even though he's named after it, would probably hurt his image, not that it hasn't been hurt enough by all the crappy miniseries and series that have been written about him.
Once upon a time, Marvel considered the the idea that Wolverine was literally a wolverine mutated into human form. That idea now seems pretty okay compared to this Jeph Loeb stuff...
Kids, remember one thing, above all: Jeph Loeb thinks you're stupid. Like all Hollywood screenwriters and producers, respect for viewer intelligence is the furthest thing from his mind.
Andy, yes, it's perhaps a good time to mention that the original plan was for Wolverine to literally be an evolved/mutated wolverine, but back then Marvel thought that was a stupid idea and used it as an origin for Spider-Woman instead (with the animal swapped out, obviously). Apparently the Marvel of today thinks it's a great idea, as long as the clever blondes vs brunettes twist is applied...
You got a shout-out from Mr. Ellis at the SDCC panel, Paul:
Web critics he enjoys include Tom Spurgeon, though Paul O’Brien may have lost his mind after reading years and years of every X-Book ever printed.
http://blog.newsarama.com/2007/0...en-ellis-panel/
He may have a point. The man has read every bleedin' shitty x-book ever. He could probably write a thesis on how New Son should not be able to defeat the Phoenix. He understands Cable and Betsy Braddock's origins. He read all of Chuck Austen's run! How sane can Mr. O'Brien be?
Maybe he is "just the best there is at what he does, and what he does isn't pretty"?
What was it Freud said about monsters?
Heh, I'm sure your "Add Bluetooth" comment wasn't in anyway payback for Ellis' thoughts on the subject of your sanity, but I like to think it was. Now I hope his run does suck just to see a feud begin when you tear it apart like Loeb's Wolverine. Although for all his faults I doubt Ellis is capable of writing something that mind-numbingly painful.
Wait a minute ... he knows Betsy Braddock's origins?!?! I'm pretty sure that automatically gets you at least an 8 out of 10 on the wacky scale.
I dunno what Freud said about monsters, but Nietzsche famously said, "Battle not with monsters, lest ye become a monster yourself; and know that when you stare into the abyss, the abyss, the abyss stares also into you."
I'll add my voice to the chorus inquiring (in song?) about the Indices.
The Wolverine story was bad. However nothing currently comes close to the confusing mess that is Supergirl.
Paul, great review of Wolverine #55, you just won yourself an award. Go check my latest column for more details. :P
Wait, it was Len Wein's original idea to make Wolverine a real evolved Wolf, right? So Loeb steals his idea then makes fun of Wein in the backup of issue #50?
Fucking. Idea-free. HACK.
Are you going to review the Endangered Species Back up strips at all?
Anyone else think Loeb just ripped off the red-stripe vs. white-stripe Powers arc that Bendis and Oeming did? (That was actually fantastic.)
Eric, good catch. That's what he's doing, only without the monkey sex.
Dan Coyle, wolverine, not wolf, but otherwise, spot on.
I noted with some interest that the worst episode of Heroes thus far (the one where the Jekyll and Hyde lady travels for hours across the desert in order to tell her mother in law to stay away from her) was written by Loeb.
I'm talking about the BBC's showings, by the way; we're only four episodes or so in. Loeb's stank though.
Kelvin: Believe it or not, things actually get worse the further you go along. That's how you know it's Loeb.
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