As a "kitten" who has always had her life together at least from a standpoint of school/work, it's been very frustrating to date men my own age for most of my life--for exactly the same reasons you outline here. I don't think it's really a gendered desire, although women are stigmatized for it more than men. The whole "not happy unless in a relationship" resonates for me some, as I was definitely that way when younger. A relationship was validation that I was lovable, though I never cared about a guy paying or having kids or any of that. I've definitely gotten happier the older I've gotten, though--regardless of whether I was in a relationship.
Honey | Homepage | 05.29.08 - 2:10 pm | #

I've definately had my Cougar days and recently put that behind me. I had decided to date only people with a 5 years age difference either way. This article almost makes me want to change my mind.
Craze | 05.29.08 - 5:57 pm | #

First of all Honey, I have to agree that you are definitely a "kitten" with her life together. In fact, you are one of the most put together people I know. I think that inner happiness sometimes comes with age. With more life experiences, comes the ability to gain insight into what it is that makes us happy.

See Craze, he makes a lot of sense doesn't he? I told him when he wrote the post, it was not the point of view you usually hear when in a Cougar discussion. That's because people want to focus on the sexual aspect. But Eathan is not the only man who feels this way and appreciates the older woman for who she is. We just don't often get to hear what they have to say.
lisaq | Homepage | 05.29.08 - 6:40 pm | #

You think you KNOW me, Lisaq?!

Hahahahaha!!! I couldn't resist...
Honey | Homepage | 05.29.08 - 8:09 pm | #

I personally prefer to date someone 3 years older than me ( I know it's very specific)
BUT
Are all the 40 something women dating younger men because the 40 something men are dating girls in their 20's ?
auntiegwen | Homepage | 05.30.08 - 3:20 am | #

Haha Honey. Okay, maybe I should have said you SEEM like one of the most put together people I know!

It's a preference like anything else Gwen, but I can answer a NO to your question. For me personally, it wouldn't matter if the 40something men were dating aliens. I'd still prefer to date younger men.
lisaq | Homepage | 05.30.08 - 8:21 am | #