I think there are quite a few of us who needed to read this post, including me--I think it's tough sometimes to back down when you feel like someone is telling you that you just don't know what "real" X experience is like. Letting it go, however, can be one way to not entertain that sort of thing and to maintain a secure blogging space for oneself.
Thanks for this post 
Hear hear! Great post. It isn't a competition ... we all have our struggles. We all have our supports. And they're different.
While the family thing can be overwhelming and have some really juggling challenges, so can the non-family thing. I'm thinking of a close friend who is currently freaked out because she had a medical emergency and realized that she doesn't have anyone to call in case of emergency. No one. The best she can do is a friend 3000 miles away. So maybe her life is easy because she's only responsible to herself ... or maybe it isn't because she's only got herself.
You never really know ...
Actually, I was just thinking about this whole life/work balance and thinking about how profgrrrl was writing about not finding time to go out and make friends. I think we all struggle, as you say Mel, with different balances. I was planning a post about that, but I think this is a fabulous one. I have a single friend, who I have reached out a lot to because she has just herself and that can sometimes be harder than having a whole bunch of people around.
Well said, Mel!
Tangent: I am reminded of a single colleague who, when refusing to do a service task, told me, "I don't have a partner or nearby relatives to help me maintain my quality of life. I have to do it all by myself, and right now, that means not taking on any time-consuming unpleasant jobs." I still think she should have done the job (which wasn't that time-consuming or unpleasant) but I completely understand and appreciate the sentiment.
I love the occassional meta-post like this. Non-religiously, I say, "Amen."
I must have missed the fireworks, but want to share that when a departmental visitor came to town this week, I was sent an email addressed to "childless faculty" asking to give up my time to entertain this person.
This is such a great post, Mel. I identify with so much of what you're saying.
In grad school, I often felt there was a "competition" over who was the most over-worked, which is just plain silly, IMHO.
Myself, I have felt that some (not all) folks with kids use that as the trump card to get their way, which just isn't really fair.
I completely support and agree with this post. Something I like about blogging is that other worlds open up for me, and I see many sides to the complexities of living this sort of academic life, and I know that I am not alone. Many of our struggles may look different on the surface, but there is an underlying similarity that I appreciate.
lovely post.
sometimes I don't catch up on the week until Thursday and, my, it's been a busy week.
thanks.
Well said. (I had a longer comment but then decided it was too long and put it over on my blog as a post.)
Great post. Thank you.
Like jo(e), I've devolved into writing a long post on this topic on my own blog now. Thanks for this post, Mel.
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