whatchutalkinbout folk?
I feel you on this one. I have always been the one to take the 'safe' route, and I always got the same results, 'stagnant', I am soooo feeling this, and I needed to hear this today!
1. I stayed in a marriage ten years because of my children and I felt "safe". I knew what I had. I didn't know what was out there. If I would end up lonely or what.
Cried about it one night. . .f*ck this I ain't living unhappy.
Struggled like hell. . .had no one to watch my children when I worked. . .things were/are tight.
Me. . .in midst of all my struggling . . I am happy.
Happy counts. I rather die struggling than sit unhappy wondering how I could have did this or that.
2. I want to move to another state. I have to plan only because I got two kids who I have to feed and clothe. If it were only me I would have bounced and not thought about how I was going to survive. But, I am leaving as soon as possible.
3. I'm about to sink ALL the money I got into a project. Because, I feel I need my own. I want to work for me. And this will hopefully help me to #2 sooner.
I know this isn't about me but here I am at 36 just now trying to follow my dreams and I regret it.
Even though people say you shouldn't regret the past . . .learn from it.
Well, I have learned I need to go for it.
So, here are your options. . .
1. you move and make the most of it. Work in Arby's if you have to until you find a job. Network with your fellow NY bloggers until you find others to support you.
If it doesn't work go back to Atlanta where you know you have support and may find a job more quickly. But, at least you tried.
2. you take the job in Atlanta. But, that doesn't mean you don't move in the future. Start a savings account and call it NY. Then, only deposit in.
Give yourself a time to move by. A year. Six months.
3. Stay in Atlanta and embrace it. Find new goals to obtain.
4. Stay in Atlanta and regret it.
There is my blog worth.
Sharon pretty much summed it up. I know you wish it was only that simple, but it really could be. Look within yourself and you'll know what you should do.
It's about friggin' time.
All I can is this: If I were in my thirties and had no children, my behind would already be in NY.
You know in your heart what you want and life is way too short to not go after what we want. When we don't, that's when life seems long as hell.
Hey girl....So glad to hear from you.
For now..I'd play it safe..Take the job in Atlanta..but know that things aren't going to be bad forever..You can still move to New York...Just not right now. That's all.So good to know you're still blogging.
Bout )*%)#*^$)* time you posted something dammit!
Okay, outburst aside; here's my two cents...I cosign what Sharon, Org, and Chele said. There are NO guarantees and it's hard to live and learn if you take no chances.
love to live; live to love!
I'm glad you're back as I've missed reading your posts. However, so sorry to hear of the job loss and being @ a crossroads.
As for your decision, I totally understand how you feel. I too got married (at age 20 no less) just because it was safe. She was the highschool sweetheart. All I knew. And afraid to venture beyond what I knew was safe. Marrying her is what everyone expected, we had the house, were in college, etc. So that was supposed to be the natural progression right?
Well 3 years later after our son was born we were seperated and divorcing. That was my cross roads. Left with nothing. No house, no wife, only able to see my son when she said, and just a job, living at my grandmoms crib.
I think you have to fail in order to truly live life. I would rather fail saying I took a chance than to think I'm playing it safe and have life pitch that curve ball I have not even thought about trying to swing at.
As for your move. I can only example my best friend. She moved from cleveland to chicago to go to school. She had no job lined up, just an apartment. And took the chance. She grinded got 2 jobs to begin. She's since finished grad school has a good job and is ready to make the same move to another city by the end of this year. If she did it I'm sure you can too.
Sorry this is so long.
Pray and wish the best for you and your decision.
“We must nurture our dreams like we would a child. They are God-given and just as precious. Without ambition how would a child learn to ride a bicycle, play an instrument or whistle? We deny the spirit of God when we as adults settle for less than our dreams!”
-Conway Stone
I have a job. I live in a state with 11% unemployment. I am planning a move to Dallas in 4 months and 4 days. And I don't have a job yet. But I have my dreams. One of which being that I gotta leave this town.
Without the persuit of our dreams we are sheep. You got it - Stand tall and claim it.
Amber/Bam
i've been there. i think sharon hit on the nail. there are more choices besides safe and taking a chance. you can choose to be prudent in taking a chance or you can be reckless about it. you can give up and be safe or you can use safe as a means to an end.
taking a job doesn't mean it's your job for life. as sharon pointed out, you can create a NY fund and give yourself a timeline.
the fact of the matter is that you MUST go to NY and try it. atlanta isn't going anywhere and you'd hate to regret not even giving it a chance. besides, NY is a place where you can truly hustle and make it.
I agree with you that "safe" equals "stagnant."
I had my first child at age 21. All of my "risky" hopes for life were dashed as I quickly learned that you don't take chances with a mouth to feed. I passed on so many things I wanted to do in life!
I'm still playing it safe. I even married a "safe" guy in 1998, which is why that ish didn't last to the 4th anniversary.
I don't know how to reverse my situation until the kids are older and don't need me so much.
I can't take the risk for you, but I can say that I am always ecstatic when somebody reaches out and gets just what their faith hoped for!
You know, when you hadn't posted in a while, I thought it was because you were moving to the brownstone. There were no doubts in my mind that that is where you were right now.
I dont envy you and the choices you have to make. good luck.
Throw yourself out there. If ATL is that steady you can always go back if it gets out of hand up north.
I agree with Chele and Ladynay, NY is where you want to be, and if the only person you have to feed is yourself - then you will be just fine.
Love your writing, and love this post. I won't even begin to throw out my .02 but know that your words resonate so deeply within me. Good Luck on your journey.
i haven't read the comments yet... but i'mma go with fuck it... you won't know unless you try. i would rather go for it then be miserable in ATL. do you! i am so there with you. i choose the safe road for now. but it won't be to long... i hope.
Wow, Nikki, this is a lot to consider, but I believe you will feel much better stepping out on faith. This may be God's way of nudging you, babes. Everything will work out.
{{Hugs}}
I really needed to read this. Right now, I'm playing it safe and well... it's stagnant.
Lurker coming out of Lurkerville here.
Come to NYC! There are plenty of Case Manager jobs that I know you are qualified to do that I know of personally. Minimum 60 credits to make $35,00, to start, to work with the homeless. Salary is do-able for a single NY'er until something better comes along. Please consider and I can hook you up with an interview immediately.
Love your writing and more than happy to help such a positive person.
good to see you back in the blog world!!!
just pray and trust God. let him guide you on this one. he won't steer you wrong
I needed to read this.
Safe is always comfortable but never particularly fulfilling.
Is there a way you can stack some money at the ATL job while waiting for the NYC job to come through?
I won't even bother to give you my 2 cents, b/c I know that you'll make the best decision.
All I'm going to say is...when I lived in New Orleans, I had dreams of leaving. I continued to play it safe...that is, until I was forced out 3 years ago...
Have confidence and faith.
I can always count on reading some good stuff on this blog.
As you know, I have been dealing with a few challenges myself since you started reading. So I am sure I have a useful experience to pass on to you.
HOWEVER! The only thing I AM gonna tell you is that there is nothing wrong with taking the job in Atlanta UNTIL you find a better one in NYC! The best business managers adapt and change quickly to the current environment and position themselves to take maximum advantage of the next great opportunity.
Don't look at the job in Atlanta as playing it safe (which would be settling) but as an opportunity to better prepare yourself for the move to New York. Cause we all know you can't move broke!
That is the two cents of an unemployed, born again student with job experience and aspirations to get career tracked again somewhere where the winters are not so damn cold!!!
Hmmm... so that means you might still be in Atlanta should I manage to turn my hopes into a trip in mid March...
You know I read this post the day you wrote it...All I got to say is THATS HOW YOU EXPRESS YO SELF HOMIE!!!! lol
I know how it feels to be unemployed. My contract is not being renewed and I have to find job by June. That shit shakes your confidence. It rocks your world.
That makes you want to lean to the safe side. When everything feels like it is falling apart, the urge is strong to play it safe.
Go to NY.
You wont feel sane if you do not.
Living outside the box is the most rewarding and frightening experience I have ever had. I did it for about 1 1/2 years with a family (wife and 4 kids). I wanted to be my own boss and I was. We lived only on what I made. Still do. The only difference is that I traded faith in for safe when a job and benefits came calling and now its 4 years later. I sure do miss faith and I am certainly trying to get back to living by faith's hand as opposed to safe's hand.
You already know what to do. You don't need advice, just the strength to do it.
I was going to read thru everyones comments but decided that...or as usual...thier comments do not dictate what I say...
I left California and moved 3000 miles away...no job, no fmaily, no nothing. Stayed 4 years in NYC and loved it at the same time as hating it (I think you know what I mean). Finally left last August to make my way in the DC area...no job, no money, basically...no nothing...all over again. I am getting used to this place. Maybe it's more like settling in.
All comes down to... I did it. Then again, I've never been close to anyone but my father. Only child and pretty independant. I am surprised I did it and came out still in good spirits. Granted, I have changed considerably...not sure I will ever shake this NY attitude but then again, always thought I'd be the California chick until the day I died.
Do what you want...go to NYC...if it doesn't work out...you can always go back to what you already know. Don't kick yourself in the ass 5 years from now talking about...you wish you woulda, coulda, shoulda.
I am a safe person but it's so boring and uneventful. But in this climate I would keep the safe and narrow. But that's me.
I say go to NYC and don't look back.
Then again, I never go with the safe option because I don't want regrets.
Just make it happen.
Your spirit has already spoken to you. Do what it says.
Personally...I think that there's nothing holding you back but your own fear of the not-so-unknown. You've already spelled out exactly how it'll go no matter which choice you make.
Go for it. If I didn't have children, there are so MANY things I could be doing...and places I would travel to for a better life. Do you...make the move. Change is good and all things happen for a reason.
The Universe has presented this crossroad to shake you up - because clearly you need to be shaken. Follow your true nature...and I believe your TRUE nature is to live a full life...being happy. Go make yourself happy in New York.
I say hold out for what you want and the universe will provide it. If you don't want to be in Atlanta anymore, you don't have to. Walk in faith and let your world be created as you walk. You don't have children (I don't think), so no one is depending on you but you. Go for it! Do what you gotta do.
Writing keeps me sane...and right now...I feel like I am going insane...and if I don't have writing to keep me level...then what do I have? Bellevue? Well, they closed that....and I am no longer in NYC to take advantage of looney bins like that!!!
Help dammit!
Nikki-
Just dropping by to check on you. I hope that you are happy, healthy and loved. Life for me has been a cloud of craziness lately. I am now coming back into focus and your blog was the first thing I wanted to read. Take care, type soon! I miss your words.
SRae
p.s. I updated my own blog, just for your reading pleasure 
Nikki,
by the next time you blog the following will have occurred:
1. A cure for cancer
2. A cure for the common cold
3. The nation will come out of an economic recession.
4. The first black baby will be cloned.
I'm very interested in knowing how you are. I'm even more hungry for some of your writing. Stop holding out! Write something, damn it.
Much love,
SRae
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