whatchutalkinbout folk?
Yeah, Dad is cheating. I'm surprised he's talking to you so much. I would play it off and just say my phone is lost.
Question: you think your confronting him about it is going to make him stop? And are you gonna tell your Mother about it??
Hmm...
Yes, I've dealt with a couple of cheating parents. Stepdad use to just stay gone all the time. Mom would go visit her "other man" and leave me in the car alone for hours while she visited her man. I was warned not to say anything.
I was a child then. That ish wouldn't go down now.
Hope you do what you think you should do about this. My thing- don't let it eat you up inside. Dont let it stress you out. Okay? Alright.
that's a really good question, lee. that's just it...i don't know if me confronting him will make him stop. i just want him to stop lying to me. you know how complex the situation is. he didn't raise no fool so why he acting like he did?
he may not be cheating... but he's certainly up to SOMETHING.
Ask him. He'll either lie (BADLY b/c you caught him off guard with the question) or he'll tell the truth.
yeah, he's already lying pretty badly. asking him straight up would probably stun him into speechlessness.
If he's NOT cheating, he's definitely up to something shady.
Otherwise, why so many inconsistencies with his stories??
Never had to deal with a cheating parent [thankfully] but I can imagine it would be hard.
I'd feel like I wanted to confront the parent doing the cheating but would be worried about having to break the news to the parent being cheated on.
It's a sucky situation!!!
yeah, it's sucky. i've been hesitant to confront him for the reasons you listed. i mean, how could i NOT tell mom if it's confirmed?
hell yeah he cheating.
my dad did that shit for years while we were growing up. my sister found a letter he wrote some woman (who now he is married to) she told my oldest sister and my oldest sister told my mom. we were all grown. but he had been with this woman for years. going to the movies by himself... what married man does that?? just a bunch of craziness.
now my question to you is... what is your relationship with your mother like? cause if you don't tell her and she finds out that you thought he was she will be pissed. and what kind of relationship do your parents have? i can remember being in grade school wondering which parent i would go with if they divorced. so we told. no since in us all living in misery just cause our parents were to stupid and selfish to just call it quits when they knew they weren't happy and neither were we. i'd tell her...after i fronted him first. and i'd tell him that i was gonna tell if he didn't. make him man up. too damn old for that shit!
my mom and i are close. she would be pretty pissed and hurt if i found out and didn't say anything to her. i've actually wanted them to divorce since i was younger but it never happened.
Don't say anything. Is it your place to report your dad's behaviors? Your mom may already know IF something really is up.
If you must, just tell your dad that his stories seem strange. Be open with him. Seems like ya'll can if he's calling you on a daily about his comings and goings.
When I was about 9-11, my mom used to call me from where ever she was with instructions on how to cook the meal of the evening. She would even call me to tell me to baste the bird, for each step. I somehow knew not to discuss this during dinner time.
I didn't realize till I was an adult that she was most likely somewhere she wasn't supposed to be and was effectively using me to cover her tracks. After all, dinner was still on the table before daddy got home.
WOW@YOUR STORY. WOW.
you're right, though. not my place to tell it, which is why i haven't until now. i just want him to stop lying to me. i mean, if you gotta lie, just don't say shit, you know?
Careful now.
You dont know anything concrete, all your doing is speculating, regardless of how suspect it all seems.
Besides mom is gone for two weeks?
What is she doing?
mom is in new york to be there for her best friend whose 7 year old granddaughter is in the hospital with cancer. my mom has her own issues though, no doubt. you have a point, though. it's still just speculation.
Quite frankly I would call my father a lying piece of shit and tell him not to call me when mommy tried to kill him in his sleep.
But I have a pretty blunt relationship with my father.
On the flip side my father disppears all of the damn time. No cell phone no explanantion no nothing and although he very well could have a whole family on the side I highly doubt it.
But in the event I'm wrong my he could count on me to try to kill him my damn self.
I would tell my father I was uncomfortable with his lies and would be speaking to my mother in regards and put the stink in his hands!
lol@"putting the stink in his hands". i'm *this close* to just confronting him about the lying if nothing else. if i lied to him like that he'd be all over it.
guilt trip him
say something like "you know, ma is real lucky to have somebody like you in their corner. i know it is so easy to cheat on ma with her being away for all this time, but she's so lucky to have a person like you in her life who wouldnt think about doing a horrible, terrible like that."
lol
you find some way to casually bring the conversation up though
maybe talk about a celebrity who got caught cheating or something
i dont know why im so good at giving other people advice that i dont follow myself
casually bring it up? that just might work. however, i've pretty much decided not to straight up accuse him of cheating. i'm gonna just tell him to kindly not say shit to me if he can't tell me the truth and let him stew on that shit.
i know i have been MIA is that why i didn't get invited for fantasy this year? lol...
but it's hard when you find out your parents are cheating... you may think you want to know and that it won't affect you if you confirm what you already know/believe but it will. i found out that my father was cheating on my mother when i was lil and well i sorta loss respect for both of them..him for stepping out and my mom for staying cuz she knew about it... and things just didn't mess well after that..
miss yah glad to see you still speaking about real stuff
UH HUH. YOU WERE MIA. if i had known you were still around, you definitely would have gotten an invite. are you down for next year? we're doing a keeper league as of next year, so we're gonna have the same teams each year. if you're interested, let me know. this year's league has twelve teams but i think only ten are gonna switch to keeper league with me next year.
as for your insight, you make excellent points. i've already lost a modicum of respect for him, primarily because he's lying to me when he knows i'm not an idiot (for the most part anyway...) as for momz...there's alot going on there...
1. I don't know if he's cheating but he's certainly lying.
2. I minded my own business. My father never lied about anything. When he went out, he just said, "I'm going down the street." He never felt the need to justify anything to anyone ... especially not to his kids.
4. I'm assuming that your mother is a pretty smart lady. What makes you think she doesn't already know or at least suspect?
Leave it alone, girl. Leave it alone.
yeah, momz is pretty smart. i think she already suspects and has chosen not to do anything about it. or maybe she's afraid to do anything about it...not sure.
either way, if he'd stop lying to me, i could just let it go. it ain't my affair to be sure, but when you lying to me to cover your shit, you making it my affair.
If he's not cheating, he's up to something.
My father cheated on my mother when I was smaller and had a child with the another woman. The child is never talked about. Really I don't think my parents know I know about the child. I've lost a little respect for both parents. That's why when they try to lecture me about something, I look at them crazy and allow the message to go in one ear and out the other.
I don't confort him about cheating because he's probably not. Let him know you feel like he's lying about something. Tell him once he stop lying then you will talk to him again.
That sounds shady. I think you should say that. Don't accuse him of anything just tell him that his stories don't sound very truthful and that you are not interested in hearing that.
I can't believe I guessed wrong on the Multiple choice question. I thought no signal at the swamp was an easy guess.
As far as him cheating, Although the evidence definitely points in that direction things like that I hate to accuse people of without direct evidence. Is he up to something suspcious? Yes with out a doubt. But to ultimately say he's 100% cheating it's impossible to know that for sure. I know women have that intuition and they are usually correct when they use it. But in this case he could be just doing something else that he doesn't want your mother to know about? I don't know the nature of their relationship but it could be something like that.
I had a case when my dad was up so some shady business. Well I won't go into details but you could have assumed it was cheating but it turned out to be something else very shady.
I would definitely say something but without accusing him directly of cheating. And just let him know that whatever he's doing you don't want to be put in a position to be involved in that. Especially if it hits the fan and he's using you as an alibi.
Sorry to hear you're in such a situation. I hope it's not what you're thinking it is.
LOL @ you side eyeing the phone. We're all doing that now thanks to OD - but we STILL love her!
I sure as hell hope your dad isn't stepping out on your mom. I really hope that's not the case...for real.
Hell yeah, dad is stepping out. My thing is why call you, when he could have just done it ,come back and no one would be the wiser. I think part of him wants you to figure him out.
I never dealt with a cheating parent..
can't really say what I'd do in that
situation.Sorry,my parents were kind of like the Huxtables, minus the money.
My bad habits are rubbing off on you...I'm so sorry!!!! LOL!
If you were my sister...me and you would follow him until he lead us to the woman. We'd beat that ho down. I'm sorry...I know it's probably not even her fault, but that would be for mom. Haven't they been married for like...forever??? That's too long for this type of stuff.
I say all this to say...yeah...I think he's spending time with a person of interest.
I wouldn't ask Daddy st8 out if he was stepping out on your mom, but I would present to him what he's presenting to you and be like don't that sound shady? Cuz apparently he thinks the stuff he is saying is getting over on you.
I don't know if your dad is cheating, but he sure is lying.
I never had a parent cheat, however being a married woman it made me think and wonder if I would want my children coming to me telling me I think Dad is laying pipe somewhere else and my answer to that is HELL NO. If I found out they knew about it, I don't think I would be mad at them, because I would/should understand they probably didn't want to get in the middle.
Now, back to dad. I would straight confront him. Not on the cheating, because I don't think that is really your place - I know that sounds crazy, but him cheating is between him and your mom. It does effect you, but it will effect her even more. I think you should confront your dad on the lying. I wouldn't say dad your cheating. I would say, dang dad you sure going to the movie a lot. Or how come you can't remember whose in the movie, you were just there.
I would like to know why he's calling you all the time....I am new to the site, but I am wondering if he is looking to be caught. Are you and your dad really close? He seems like he wants to talk.
Again, I would straight call him out on things seeming like lies, but kinda in a joking way. Dad, you mean to tell me you couldn't call me the whole time you were gone and what happened to your friend? I thought he was going? That's just my 89 cents
Wow. I don't know how I'd deal with that.
My dad had a girlfriend when I was a child. He and my mom are living apart but still married. They act like best friends, but dad still has the same girlfriend, and he's 70-years old!
Mom knows about her, and he knows she knows. Dad leaves for a one-month summer vacation to see her in GA every year.
I love my parents to death, and we all spend time together. He introduces my mom as "my wife."
I kinda respect the way things get handled. Dad made a decision that he just couldn't live with mom, but he stayed married to make sure she and I get what's left after he passes away. They do all kinds of nice things for each other all the time, and you would swear they're still happily married.
I don't know... I guess they're just old school with their stuff.
When my dad left home, he moved in with a girlfriend. He never called me. I wondered why, and I realized he was embarrassed. One day, I told him that he was always my dad and I love him. From that point, I was able to visit him at the gf house. He was concerned about how I felt about him.
I'm still daddy's little girl, and mom is still my homie.
Strange (not more strange than me rambling in your comments!)
PS: Dang Nikki! Don't you have an email address? I'm tryin' to send you some stuff...
wow, I picked a helluva time to come by and thank you for the kind words you left on my blog, LOL...but to answer your questions, I had a suspicion my mom's then-fiance was creeping, but mom booted him for other transgressions before I could confront him about it. It's a seriously uncomfortable situation all around, and I guess you're stuck in the middle of it. I say straightforward is the best way to roll...ask your dad is he cheating.
lmao @ the rocket... that movie is called the express
Don't Touch it but when the shit hits the fan you can enumerate all these tales and tell him to not run to you for support, I'd also stay back for a few weeks to just to give him something to think about plus you don't need the stress
I smell something fishy! Don't forget a women's instinct is usually right so forget about second guessing yourself.
Aside from his bad choices and acting on them, lying to you is not okay. I say call him out for that!
If you have thought about his behavior, most likely your mom has too.
Older folk don’t agree with sharing everything like our generation. Furthermore, they’re not inclined to blog, go on Oprah, or YouTube their dilemma. 
They do it old school style…and deal with it on their own terms.
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