whatchutalkinbout folk?
YAY! I'm so happy that you FINALLY put something up. Girl, I don't even know what to tell you. I've entertained shutting down my blog so many times, but figure I need to write and even if it's just some randomess; at least I'm writing.
I've been on the Indigo Trail for a few years now and even when you leave me hanging, I still come back. It's not what you write, it's how you write. You create an intricate weave of words that spin into a web I can't seem to let go of. I think you should keep the blog up and just post when you mood hits you because you know those who love to read you, will always stop by.
Screw the masses and just keep this about you in whatever way that works.
Love to live; live to love!
Don't stop writing..I have hundreds of lurkers who have found out about my blogs through word of mouth and who while they don't comment, will tell me the next day that I spelled this wrong or was I talking about so and so. I just say "Bite me" and keep on doing what I do. After they finish their critique..I'm still gonna be who I am anyway. I don't care if somebody sees themselves in my stories or not..Long as I didn't use their real name (and I never do
unless the person is deceased) they'll never prove it.
Just do what you do and don't worry about the haters and lurkers.
Nikki,
I think I came upon your blog through the accidental mistress. When she started feeling uncomfortable about her blog content, and who might see it, she went to 'by invitation only' and changed the url. Would limiting your readership free you to write as you pleased? What are your reasons for wanting an audience--I can think of many: feedback, simpatico, approval etc--which aspects of a public blog are meeting those needs, which are not? Yes, the unfinished stories leave me hanging, but I can relate, as I rarely finish anything I start due to vicious perfectionism and fear. Heck, I don't even comment on the blogs I read 'cause I am so afraid of judgment and acrimony. I like your writing, and, as a writer, your imagery inspires me--makes me laugh too. I second Blu's opinion. Screw the masses.
Randomly opinionated,
Aurora
After issue No. 1 I was too through. This would be reason enough for me to stop blogging OR to at least try to set up a new anonymous spot.
But, after reading all your reasons why not to blog, I'm thinking that this sounds like me and that maybe we should just go on ahead and start writing some real biogrophies or something.
If you decide to go private, please make sure you send me an invitation.
love to live; live to love!
Nikki I love you with all my heart, you know this…but will you please get the fuck outta your own way?! Never let anyone intimidate you into anything! EVER! You are far, far too special for any of that kind of bull shit. Write what you want, when you want, and how you want and forget the dumb stuff.
Sooner or later you’ll be so damn worried about everything, no matter how many people read anything you write; it won’t be worth a damn because it’s not “Nikki” anymore.
You and I have talked about this before so you know what I’m getting at. If folks by now have not figured out that Nikki is as real as it gets they’re brain dead. Anyone who reads anything you write knows there is no half-stepping, you color outside the lines on occasion, and if it’s belongs to you, Nikki is going to make you own it. The reality of your writing is what makes you great.
Nik…there aren’t very many constants in the world outside the realm of Physics. At least we have one in you. And it would be a shame to lose that because Nikki has now decided to stick her toe in the water to see what it feels like, rather than jump in the deep end and see what kind of splash she can’t make.
Baby, if you start changing it up, I for one will be extremely disappointed. You’re better than the rest! And mailing it in simply won’t do.
Remember what I told you that I fell in love with first…and I dare say I’m not the only one.
Okay, I said my piece. Now validate my parking.
I think that's why I have kept my blog so anonymous.. I love my blogger family, wish that I could see them in real life, be facebook friends, etc. But then people I know would find out about my blog.
To date, I have only told one person about my blog and he hasn't told anyone.
Even so, I still censor what I put out there. How I long to be free.
I love your writing too, and don't know you in real life, so lady if you move or put your page on private, make sure you send me an invite 
Im going through the same thing. Not sure what to do.
You just start wherever your fingers begin to type. That's why this is BLOGGING. Don't feel bad about stopping and started. Although it may frustrate some readers those that recognize your talent will come back to the site on a daily basis and await updates until the day the site is taken down.
i have admired your vocalization for too many years to count on both hands and feet. keep writing. whatever. wherever.self expression shows our individualism. this is your life. this is your gift. and it is complete.
Love ya chick,
campfire girl
I don't need to add anything. Everyone else has said it all!
that is the reason why i left for a little bit. i like i was being confined and wasnt in love with blogging like I used to.
but that is the story of my life. i start something and then get bored with it after a time,lol
Nikki, uh, you know I don't care. I hang with ya and talk to you on a regular basis so WHATEVER! The Nikki I have come to know and love is faaaaar faaaar more interesting and diverse than this blog can EVER convey! So I must say that I see this blog as a small slice of you. A very small slice of who you are!
But on the real. You do what you need to do for you. Don't let blogging go from something you loved to something that you hate... You know how I feel about that.
That's all I gotta say about that. I know how much other stuff you got going on out there that you enjoy! (You making my head SPIN, chile!) So enjoy yourself.
If blogging happens to be a part of it, then great!
If not... then that's great too!
I certainly know how you feel, my mom told me she was reading my blog. Ever since my book signing, she's been checking it out to "keep up" with me. That is so NOT cool. I feel like I have to temper my words and that's no fun.
I've been following your lead. Write and then get ghost.
I always worry about folks I talk about reading my blog, but I look at it as "my turf, my rules." I worry about the fallout (if there is any) when it comes.
If you stop blogging, this realm will cease to appeal to me. period.
...how's that for dramatic Drop me a line.
SRae
Hey girl, it would be a great loss if you shut it down completely. I've been through this before and I ended up closing up shop and resurfacing someplace else. Maybe that could be an option. It sucks when you feel like you can't be free to be yourself.
I've been one of your long time "silent" readers... And I know how it feels to feel "boxed". But you know what though? You're too good of a writer just to give it up like that. It might feel lonely, but I'll say you can just close this blog and start a new fresh one. Being anonymous is the number one reason I blog.
If people are meant to find you again, they will. I've found several bloggers that way (even you when you changed addresses)...
But by all means, keep doing you.
Take care!
bloggers and friends and facebook...that's how dude found out that i had moved my blog...wack
if it's a matter of needing to be new again which in turn...brings about a semi-new you...then just start a new blog...keep this one...and just link it on the new blog under some obscure name. or...just keep fucking blogging here and be you!
who cares if they like what you write...this is you.*said from the chick who changes blogs every year...lol
Glad to have you back gurl...and i so feel you on #2...i almost deleted my blog after i found out who was reading...sheeeesh!
Yup, been there. I used to feel like I was hiding something from my fam and friends by not telling them about my blogs. Then I realized that I need a nice, comfy spot where I can vent (sometimes about them...lol), etc. Only two of friends know and I'm fine with that because sometimes we can tell just too doggone much about ourselves.
I happy everything worked out. This will give you time to plan your move if that's what you decide to do. It'll also give you time to go explore to decide what area you want to live in, etc. Glad to see ya back!.
Nikki, you aren't special and your blog sucks. This bitch fucked me over hard in a relationship and is very selfish. Why anybody would waste their precious time reading Nikki's worthless crap is beyond me. Save a few minutes of your life and stare at a wall instead or something.
*selfish me* - Don't stop writing. I love your style.
*altruistic me* - Start a new blog...and tell me where to find it.
OMG! I know just the kind of thing you mean... except your version is funnier and wittier. Let's just say, an old technique I used to do if I was out of ideas is called 'dredge-a-draft'. Now I tend to make new posts and I intend to put all the stuff, even my old stuff, on two Google Pages websites.
` Maybe you can just pretend that no one will read your posts and finish them the way you want to anyway... then post them when you think no one is looking!
` Or, you know, later on when you're a famous writer....
BTW, now that I'm about to move into an AMAZING HOUSE with SOUND INSULATION and FIOS, as well as everything we have in this condemed shithole except ten times better, even the view, I'm probably going to be coming online a lot more oftener and checking out people's blogs.
` You would't believe the stories! Well, check out my blogs and see what's been going on. You'll laugh. You'll cry. Because I'm trying to write more like you. There's even some photos and funny artwork that are pretty cool.
I am glad to see you are back. I miss those half-ended stories of yours lol
Nikki I so feel you on the blog issue. I start editing before I start typing because now these total strangers seem like cousins, aunts, and uncles reading about stuff that I don't want them to know.
Anyway, good luck with school. Being back in school is kicking my butt, and yet I'm still so grateful for the opportunity.
Hey sweets...dont know if Ive visited your blog before but I will start...
Hey I thought of blogging for the same reasons..but most time people take things tooooo serious. Most times I dont even know what to believe on bloggers..
how are you?
I say fuck em...don't shut shit down! write what the fuck you wanna write! Most of my friends know I blog and its funny because my true blues don't care what I write about them you wanna know why cause they trust me and don't have nothing to fucking hide...Granted some folks don't tell me shit because of it...Who cares!!! Don't wanna listen to their woes me problems anyway...lol
I know how you feel and sometimes we do need a blog break to sorta recharged..I think you're fully charged now..so get to typing so I cant start jacking those wonderful metaphors you come up with...lol
Don't make me come down there in a raggedy ass car that might not make it just do I can cut your fine ass! I will do it though! Feeling pressure yet?
Really though. Do what feels right to you. As long as you keep writing... Oh... Pressure again right?
But really, stop over thinking everything. Otherwise how are you gonna come up with the next "Cunt Cameo" post. Or the next critical examination of a kids film like you did with Cars. I could go on for days. But I doubt that anyone wants to hear me talking about how hot your writing makes me on occasion.
Worry less. Write more. We can enjoy each other again!
Side note: I been hanging around some of you for far too long. I recognized Terry and Ladylee's comments before the end of the second sentence...
I came back to the blog world in Feb of this year and proclaimed that I was back on a roll and it was going to be good reading from here on out...3 months later, I really have been feeling like if I start writing about the drama and stress and-well...LIFE in general, my head was gonna pop off...But, I really have made up my mind that this is the best form of therapy and self expression. A blog is an empty canvas where, unless a mirror, we are able to paint whatever reflection we want...it's our own personal stage to dance upon and bare our naked souls to any and everyone who wants to pay some their hard earned time and watch -er, read. You can never outgrow your blog--it's like skin that grows and changes with you...keep writing...and add me back to the blog roll!!!! I'll leave you with what someone told me at a performance a few weeks ago...
[["No matter how you feel, God has given you the gift of transparency...someone, somewhere NEEDS to hear what you have to say...even if you're just venting about yourself" -Nia Logic]]
Peace & Blessings
-j
Still singing my song I see. When I thought like you, you didn't agree. But from their cocoons butterflies must be free. If after a while you feel a need to be, words bursting to get out and spread sea to sea, pick up these roots and plant a new tree. Then guard it's heart of rings, employing exclusivity.
I feel the exact same way about my blog ever since I wrote some things on my blog that people took the wrong way. They were offended and only dealt with it in a passive aggressive way against me. I can try to have a "who cares what they think" attitude, but it doesn't work. I'm still scarred from the experience, and I worry about being misunderstood every time I write a word in my blog. I was just telling my husband today, that I feel that there is too much baggage on my old blog for me to go back to it...it IS like putting on weight and being afraid to look in front of the mirror! I think I am going to start a new blog. I used to want as many readers as possible so that I would feel validated. However, now I have just decided that it is best to tell only a handful of my best, most trusted friends about my blog, and stay anonymous to the rest of the people who happen upon it. Being "anonymous" probably is freeing to a writer, thus the use of pen names that have been used for so long.
I have missed you and your unique voice and perspective of the world. So many things remind me of you and the funny or poignant stories you have woven together here. Unforgettable in every way! Yesterday, it was baby powder that made me think of your blog...Ha-Ha! No one knows why I get this little grin on my face at the oddest moments. I will just have to agree with what "G" said above! That comment he left is so "G", isn't it!
This sounds so like me now, and to think I used to give you grief about starting and stopping with your blog activity. Now I'm doing it.
Like the old folks say...keep living.
Keep writing! I promise not to read... no, kidding!
Also, my boyfriend is hilarious as a hillbilly and as Pinhead from Hellraiser. In one, he's shot dead, and in the other, he's undead. Or something.
keep doing your do...it wouldn't be nikki without the craziness....
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