I haven't been around much lately either, but I was reading through your past couple posts and it looks like you are embarking in a different direction. I just wanted you to know, I have been reading (lurking) and have missed your stories. I will still be reading and hope that you are finding the happiness you deserve. by the way, I love the "give your body a hug and tell it you love it" post. I will definitely try that next time I am meditating.
namaste
KDub
Thank you for sharing this. It sounds as tho you had crossed into subspace, hence your inability to articulate when questioned about whether or not to push on (or not). Might I only suggest the use of safewords in these situations for the future? It's much easier to recall a safeword when you feel that you've reached your limit, and yes, talking about a scene before it happens is also an absolute must - (for me anyway, and I do strongly recommend it).
Also too, I think you're right about the gag. Perhaps it was a bit too much considering that this was a new experience with the flogger.
I'm also very glad to hear that you got the right aftercare. So very, very important.
Thanks again for sharing this,
xoxo,
nina
hi KDub, thanks for the kind words! Yeah, I may be taking a different direction - we'll see how things go over the next little while.
Nina - thanks for stopping by! Subspace, I'm not sure. I think I was more shutting down than surrendering, but it could be that I was also subbing a bit too. Our previously established safewords were the basic yellow/red combo, but I wasn't in any kind of headspace to bring them out. Now that I have some understanding of what a flogging scene might be like, I will better know how to talk about it in the future! And I totally agree with you on the importance of aftercare.
Personally, I just hate gags in general. Flogging can be a lot of fun, though. We have a little rubber one I like.
Er.
My husband has brought up the idea of a gag many times, and while I think it would come in handy during sex, I think it would be disastrous during a flogging. Especially in public! Oh. Oh boy.
That doesn't sound like subspace to me, either. That sounds like... trauma. Something to do with trauma, I'm not really sure. I do know I am intimately acquainted with both, and there's a big difference. Subspace has a kind of ethereal quality to it, at least to me. That other space... sounds more like the place I go in my head when I can't deal with shit anymore. Thankfully my husband recognizes the expression. The "Jill's Checked Out, Thank You For Stopping By" expression.
If I could guess, it would be the hesitancy to cry or express emotion for fear of ruining the scene. Emotion has to go somewhere. It sounds like you already have a clear grasp on why it went strangely, and I'm glad he spent the time to soothe you. It's the most important thing after a moment like that.
Commenting by HaloScan
