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When the new baby arrives, you will not even know that you were questioning yourself in the first place. It is just one of those things that come very naturally. You will see. You both sound like kind and loving people and subconsciously will be able to handle it all! If you are tuned into the one you have already - it will be a breeze...I have three. I share the love.
I can't give you advice, having only one child, but can understand where you both are coming from. I can't imagining loving another being as much as I love my son.
I am sure that when the time comes you will not have to share the current amount of love, you will just suddenly have twice as much to go around.
The best thing I did was let the 2 year old participate in the care of the baby. I ALWAYS referred to his little brother as "his baby." He was pissed as hell at me, but always loving to his baby brother.
Now, I will tell you this, 10 years into having a big and little brother in the family: If you want a nice, stereotypical, needy, angsty middle child, go right ahead and tend to the older one first. You'll just bang it into the little one's head that he has to scream louder and harder than anyone else in the room to get your attention.
I tell you that because I MADE that mistake, and holy hell am I ever paying for it. By the time the older one is old enough to care, he'll be off to school, with friends and a life of his own.
The best advice I can give you? TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You will know exactly what to do. The second you touch baby #2, you will instantly stop worrying about it. It just happens the way it should happen. If you don't read the parenting books, if you just go with your gut, you'll be totally fine.
Really, just wait til you meet the new one. You'll see.
As you know I've got 4 of them... yeah, what the hell was I thinking? When I look at the 4 of them together, I sometimes wonder how my chest doesn't burst at the seams with the love I have for all of them. It just happens; I don't know how but it does. You'll see Z-Jay and in that instant it will happen. Love is not finite.
I recommend letting Z-Dub help as much as he wants, but don't force him into anything. He might regress a bit, but it won't last. Make some time for 1-on-1 with him without Z-Jay. But don't always tend to his needs first. In life, we don't always get to go first and we sometimes have to wait. Sometimes his new brother will need tending to before him and it's best he learns that early on rather than try and change it around later. It's a balancing act, but I've found that - when everyone is calmer - you explain why the baby sometimes needs you first they get it. They don't always like it, but they do understand and sometimes even surprise you by insisting you take care of the baby NOW!
You'll find a whole new section of your brain will open up and pour forth the love for your second child. There really is no limit to that resource.
I actively tell both kids that I love them equally. I tell them they may be different in ages and personalities, but I love them both just the same. And I show it by including them both in most things we do.
The moment we found out that we were pregnant again. We felt the exact same way. Angie and I are just getting to know Malaia, and now we have to learn how make sure that we give her the exact same amount of love once the new baby comes along. We both felt like we would be taking away from her(attention, playtime etc.) I think I'll have to check back on the advice your given, a couple times.
When I had Alexander, Jordan was already 9 years old. He was a mixed bag of emotions, loved his baby brother one minute, hated him the next. We did all we could to include him but sometimes he didn't want that and excluded himself. It was hard to know what to do and I'm sure so called 'experts' would say we made lots of mistakes.
But as the others have said, never ever have I felt less love for one than the other. It really does happen naturally.
I didn't read books on parenthood I just did what felt right at the time, personally I think too much emphasis is placed on being the perfect parent with perfect children these days.
I wish I could help you on this one. But to be honest, having only one child myself, this is one of those things I have worried about. It seems form the comments that people are saying it just basically "works itself out", and I believe that. Personally, I'm just glad to know I'm not the only one who worries obsessively about things that haven't happened yet! Hang in there dude, I'm sure it will all be incredibly awesome when it shakes out in the end.
Our two are at about the same age difference as your two will be. When I was pregnant with Doodle, I agonized over Boo's reaction. We tried to get her involved in the Baby care thing - gave her a doll of her own to mirror me (which was especially funny when t came to breastfeeding!). One of the best things we did was to institute "mommy/daddy and me" time. Once a week, we do something 1:1 with her. It's as simple as going to the park together, staying up late and watching a movie, or going shopping with just the two of us. We don't talk about her brother. We make it all about her. It helps keep her balanced through the jealous times when she has something that's just hers to look forward to. Some of my favorite memories are the 1:1 times that I get with her.
You got a ton of great advice here..and I will add that I do the same 1:1 time with my oldest..especially now that my little guy is too young to really understand that I am leaving him home to play with his brother..it really helps my older guy because he gets my full attention..
I remember crying HYSTERICALLY in the drive way on the way to be induced because I did not think I could love baby number two like I do one.. You can.. and it happens immediately.. 
I cannot believe your wife is already 36 weeks..where did the time go??
I'm not sure if you remember way back in July when I posted about this very same thing. It is a fantastic miracle, the division of love between your children. I still don't know how to explain it--you just do!
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