This Is Not A Democracy, It's A Republic........
How could you go to the House of Parliament and not go to Westminister Abbey?
Who planned your itinerary?
Do you even have an itinerary?
Why aren't you wearing the red, white, and blue berka with the 50 stars I sent?
Why didn't I remember to send the red, white, and blue berka with the 50 stars?
Glad you and your husband are having such a good time and all, but don't forget our presents. Never mind saying "what presents.
Henry, Witness, Darwin, Billy, Gawfer, MD, Tim, Paul, CC, myself, and all the regulars haven't forgotten you promised to bring us back our presents......right guys? Guys? HELLO?
Okay, so they're busy at the moment. Only we have it in writing that you promised to bring us our presents, or at the very least a photograph of yourself in a Union Jack cat-in-the-hat-style hat at Piccadilly Circus.
By the way, where's Kris? She promised to remind you to bring home our presents, help you buy a siutcase for said presents, and take the photograph of you in the hat.
Rain is no excuse.
Veritas et Fidelis Semper
I am glad you are enjoying your trip! I have been to England, but before my wife and I became interested in Geneology. I have traced my family back to about 1500. Allington Castle was owned by my family back about 500 years ago. It is some type of convent now. I am looking forward to going back and seeing it in person.
History is so thrilling!
I hope this day finds you well in your adventures there. Glad to hear you are having a good time and hope there are plenty of Pubs lining your way.
Gonna make it up into Scottland any time while you are there? Ireland?
Those are gorgeous places.
Oh, yeah, and thanks alot for leaving all the nut jobs at home for us to deal with.
Jenn ... you're letting me down. By now I had expected to read news accounts that a beautiful, sexy, bold American woman had shown up in England one day and proceeded to drink every Brit under the table whilst proclaiming that England will one day be muzzie free and fending off the angry glares of bearded muslim men and veiled women ...
Hey ... maybe you could do a "Lady Godiva" while you're there. Riding thru the streets of London on bareback while flying a rather large St. George's Cross.
If you do ... have someone take plenty of pics please.
LOL. Believe me CC there are a few nutjobs here. Ran into many yesterday uptown.
Deb of coors I saw Westminster. It's right across the street from Big Ben and Parliment. Mna do they have that area closed off like a virgins....
Hard part is it's been so long since my husband has been home we've spent a lot of time around local areas hanging out with friends. I feel like a rock star. I keep hearing...ooooohhhh, that's an AMERICAN. Ooohhhhhh Ahhhhh Eeeeee Ooohhhh.
We're going to a football match on Tuesday, theatre on Wednesday. (Footloose.) Monday uptown again..Notting Hill Harrods etc. Been out to Kent and going to the sunday market in Greenwich.
You just can't see it all in two weeks. And holy hell the pubs, every 5 feet. Gorgeous little flower covered pubs. Full, CHOCK FULL, of lovely beer.
I'm sure I'll be getting me tits out for the lads tonight Darwin. We're doing pints at the local and I'm loving the cider. Oh, and these Brits CANNOT hold their booze like a good old American gal can. I wear my American flag necklace everyday, and have no problem shooting down any truther I've seen. That's been 3 so far. Smacked 'em hard. Fixed 'em I did.
Oh, and I've been quite successful at giving the evil eye to potential terrorist muzzie scum.
One such fucker at the Jubilee Market yesterday was joking with some Romanian tourists. He said he was Bin Ladens brother, and was in the Taliban. The tourists thought it was funny as hell, and he was going to town.
I said loudly, for the Romanians, that there wasn't a fucking thing funny about Bin Laden unless it's a target painted between his eyes and if I saw him I'd kick his bollocks up to his ear holes. Now that they loved.
Shut the Paki bastard down right quickly. See I haven't lost it D.
lol ... I know you don't have problems speaking your mind. Just thought I've rib you a little.
Really glad you're having a good time. Enjoy that good English brew!
I still think the Lady Godiva thing is a good idea though ...
Jenn,
Instead of an English Muffin, could you bring me back a jihadi. It doesn't have to be a big one. I just got a new waterboarding kit I'd like to try out.
I see Jenn's been making new friends in Covent Garden! 
I gotta see this! I will come do where ever because you cannot pay to get this kind of entertainment in London!
BTW not the getting your tits out bit but the slapping down of bin laden's "brother" bit.
Call em all a bunch of smegheads for me Jenn.
I'm so glad your having a good time, Miss Jenn! How I envy you (being English, you know)! I've always wanted to see the Mother Country. I guess I should go before sharia law is heralded in...
A jihadi, Billy?! Your a hoot!
Call em all a bunch of smegheads for me Jenn.
Concerned Citizen
Um - CC? What's a smeghead?
Oh Miss Jenn! I just got an idea! If Billy can have a jihadi, then I want a pet too! A tall reasonably fit Brit male (not a short, round bald one - and he has to have all his teeth! A full head of hair would be nice too!)! I can provide a nice home and will be sure to feed him EVERY DAY!
He can carry the suitcase with everybody's presents!
Can I have one, huh? Can I, huh? Can I have one - Pretty plllleeeaaassseee?
Ah, witness. I see you are not a fan of the British comedy seiries called Red Dwarf.
I can't really explain the humor of Red Dwarf... You just kind of have to watch it. Smeghead would be the somewhat equivalent of s***head to us.
Jenn- When I was in London back in 2004 they were all out there in front of the Houses of Parliment doing the same crap. They all had signs up about Blair and Bush being "baby killers." Some things never change.
RED DWARF!!
The best is the Cat! "This is mine! {pssst} This is mine! {pssst} This is mine! {pssst}"
LMAO!! That show is great!!
CC & Henry - I actually think I did catch a few (very few) episodes of Red Dwarf. Evidently not enough to catch the lingo. I LOVE Brit TV. Dr Who and a bunch of other suff I can't even remember the names of. My bad.....
But THANKS for the info!
Yeah, Dr. Who, Faulty Towers, Are You Being Served, and one other one about the French resistance in WW II that I cannot remember the name of were the greatest. There are alot of good British comedy shows.
I Britts are off their nut in some of their shows, but thier comedy rocks.
CC - Monty Python and Benny Hill! Loved it! That stuff would never fly now! John Clease even bitched about how things were so screwed up with pcbs that he'd never be able to work again! I mean - sometimes their humor was a bit irritating - but at least I had a CHOICE to watch it. Now - I think it's gone. What a BLOODY SHAME!!!!
Yes, I forgot those... How could I?
Bring out your dead.
ahhhh,
i was never a fan of the old Dr Whos, but the new ones rock! (David Tennant as the Dr is best!)
Have a blast.
And trip one of those hippies for me and then laugh at them.
That would make my whole month. 
if you to pick a fight, let them know Becks came to the States to play real soccer
witness,
Does he have to be British? Just wondering. I'm 51 (it's the new 30). Could you go over the provide nice home part again??? (Not that I'm a democrat or anything)
Hey Billy! Well if 51 is the new 30 then I'm 28 and you're just the right age! It was just a joke, of course, but I do love hearing that Brit accent!
I could revive my old Brooklyn accent, would that work for you? F***in A,.... F***in B
Or, if you prefer, "day mon can speak wit de island accent you know."
reading your stuff I was quite insulted but then I realised that it must be a bit of a shock for you coming to a free country.
Excuse me ron, but you're quite a comedian. Ever thought of doing standup?
Hey, wait a minute there ron lyre, unless you're a muslim or an illegal alien you have no right to come here and complain that you feel insulted. Get with the program.!!!!! Haven't I seen you on British surveillance camera footage somewhere?
Me a comedian? Have you looked at your president recently.
Nice site by the way Billy.
"Me a comedian? Have you looked at your president recently."
Yes ... have you comprehended what's happened to YOUR country recently?
Darwin...another good one....! Ronnie...see that's funny!
Btw Ronnie...Have you met Jenn yet? Is she hot?
reading your stuff I was quite insulted but then I realised that it must be a bit of a shock for you coming to a free country.
ron lyre
Free country? FREE COUNTRY?? You've GOT to be kidding me! Oh! Oh! Wait - your name is ron lyre, pronounced LIAR right? Ok! Now I get it....
Hey, has anybody noticed we've heard more from Castro than we have from Jenn lately? I hope an Al Qeada hostage video featuring Jenn doesn't pop up on Al Jezeera.......Jenn, you still with us????????
Then again, she did mention something about Pubs....
Oh sure! Leave us, write as few lines as possible, tease us with tales of pub-crawling, and then not another word!!!
We`re finished being nice! The time to get tough has arrived! Now there`s only one thing left to say.........
WHERE ARE OUR PRESENTS???!!!, please.
Veritas et Fidelis Semper
I'm, Baaaack! LOL. You people don;t understand. If I am not at a pub I am at a wedding, or one of my husbands numerous friends houses drinking. Or out in the country side drinking or uptown drinking.
Fuck. Last night was the first nigh I stayed in. Everyone else went out. I watched two episodes of CSI and passed out by 11. I'm one pooped puppy!
Ron, if you ARE from here in Merry old England and thik it's free, and all good and happy, then you obviously don't talk to the GD people.
Being an American and of course loud and shit, I talk to everyone. Concensus says that the native Englsih are prettyu fucking tired of assholes foreigners coming in, destroying their neighborhoods and getting free cash on a weekly basis, along with free housing etc.
Wit....one of Lee's friends is 40, and he looks like a god. I just about passed out looking at him, had to have 2 more pints of gnats piss to calm down. Want him? He works for Scotland Yard.
Oooh Wit! A copper! A NSY copper too! quality!
Wit....one of Lee's friends is 40, and he looks like a god. I just about passed out looking at him, had to have 2 more pints of gnats piss to calm down. Want him? He works for Scotland Yard.
Jenn
Scotland Yard, huh? That means he's housebroken. Hmmmm....
Jenn...sounds like you're having a great time. Make sure you have some "Tanglefoot" beer next time you have a pint. If you have two, you'll know why they call it Tanglefoot. Very tasty and wicked stuff.
Now for the big question? How much did you spend at Harrod's?
Have a blast for the rest of the trip. Dont' forget to forward all pics of Muzzies to Scotland Yard.
LOL Badger....beleive me, I have tried it all. Beer is a lot stronger here. Harrods in on for tomorrow. Look out Master Card here I go!!!!!
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