Talk to the Goat
Thanks to your insightful story and predictions for tonight's Oscar Show, I'm definitely going to watch with a different perspective in mind (as opposed to NO perspective at all)! Hilarious!
Jay, you are so hilarious. I laughed the whole post.
I'm thinking seriously about doing the shot thing. I'm taking Snoop Dog in Supporting Actor. How can the Dog NOT win??
I love your pick...especially Snoop Dog! You've inspired me to invite people over tonight to make fun of the people on the show.
I'm always disappointed since Celine's dreadful backwards suit ensemble that everyone's got themselves a stylist. There are hardly any frocks worth laughing at anymore. Shame.... That was all the fun of Oscar night!
Hmm... you've inspired me to hold an Oscar drinking fest next year.
Hell, why wait for the Oscars? Any ol' awards show will do. I mean, you won't remember 'em after the first half hour anyway, right? : p
Country Music Awards, watch out!
For one red carpet second when I logged onto your blog today and read the opening line I thought, 'oh god no, not more drooling over gold statues, average acting ability and stick insects proudly strutting their threads like a host of naked Emperors!' But I should have had more faith. Your views on the Oscars are funny, sassy and not far from the bottom of a bottle of spirits, much like your fabulous self, Jay, Happy Oscar night! I won't be watching, but if anyone invites ME to an Oscars drinking game one year, I may yet be persuaded... 
Hot blonde--cool!
Hope
Jay, you absolutely rock! No kidding, they ought to have you do the oscar reviews because your story here made even me, in my completely non-oscar-oriented-red-neck-blogger mode curious as to who downed the most shots. Er...won at the oscars.
drinking would be the only good part about the Oscars. Id much rather get smacked in the face with a wet dirty mop then suffer through the show!
I would love to see someone trip on their way up the red carpet. What a hoot that would be! I'm giggling now just thinking about it! Lol.
And you are right, it's more of a popularity contest! I figured that out the year Russel Crowe didn't win one for "A Beautiful Mind". He was GREAT in that movie.
Those of you who brave watching such TV have my undying admiration.
And in the style of Columbo: Oh, just one more thing... Hilary Swank - gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous. And a fine actress too no doubt.
Personally, my husband and I play a version of strip poker when it comes to the Oscars. We each doff an article of clothing whenever we make the wrong pick. By an hour in we're already naked so then we usually stop watching the telecast...
Then, ten to fifteen minutes later (!) we come back to watch the rest of the show. But that's our own lovely, lovely tradition.
Jay...I think I like your picks better
Jay - Unfortunately I thought Chris Rock was rather tame. I kept switching back and forth with Independence Day on Fox. Will Smith or Chris Rock - no contest. Will is one fine looking man.
You nailed every oscar pick I swear. You were probably too loaded to notice that your choices were winning left and right ;0 You may be the funniest person ever! And you're so not a trainwreck!
you are so freakin' funny!! I totally agree with all your points, and I especially think napoleon dynamite was SNUBBED. SERIOUSLY!
so you watched, were you embarrassed when they gave the 'lesser' people awards on the carpet in the BACK instead of on stage--I was.
But I did LOVE that chris rock tore into everyone--and jeremy irons was the only one to have a sense of humor about it.
PS--why was I not invited to your party???
Two of my favourite movies this year were Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite, both went unnominated.
I loved Chris Rock's opening about Gap declaring war on Banana Republic - a little anti-Bush is always okay on me. I also liked the part where he went into a theatre, and all the "normal" people there were all about White Chicks and looked like they'd never heard of Million Dollar Baby. Other than that, he was a little tame. It seemed like they didn't have a lot of host time this year, but that might just be me, because I broke the seal during Morgan Freeman's acceptance speech, and was a lost cause after that.
I did however see my Adam up with Chris at one point, and I nearly died. I love love love him! And just a few more months until their movie comes out - I don't know what memorial weekend is, but I've been looking forward to it like a mofo!
p.s. Sorry, CG, next year definitely.
ANd yeah, when Chris Rock was all like "Who the hell is Jude Law", I nearly peed my pants. Really. Read above comment. I mean, I have nothing against Jude Law, but it was funny. Apparently Sean Penn does not have a sense of humour.
he he, I love your drinking game idea, great way to make it interesting. How many shots did you end up doing?
I find a good rule to be: stop counting how many shots you've had when you've lost the ability to count. And that's what I did.
I watched with no drinking, I seemed to have missed ALL the movies nominated, INCLUDING all of your picks(not a movie buff)
I want to have a fancy schmancy party too next year !! But I will BUY pre made foods!!!
I liked when Chris Rock that they will give awards in the parking lot next year, in the drive thru......
Ah... I miss being fabulous, just for the sake of being fabulous... Where are all my velvet dresses? (Cat is currently sleeping on one of them...)
I haven't worn a tiara to the grocery store since I was 20. Those were the days. Thanks for the warm fuzzy. Maybe I'll make everyone dress up for my next party, and we can all be remarkably sexy once again.
Now this was even better than missing the Oscars! Love it!
great post ... your way of watching the Oscars is the best I've heard yet.
stopping the shots when you lose count is a very good rule of thumb. one that took me a while to learn, though, sadly.
love the cheeseburger comment. Renee looks better the way she looked in Bridget Jones. In my opinion.
glad you enjoyed my long post, I broke 'em up for you today...
JQP
oooooooooh! I wanna have an oscar party like that! Thanks for the idea! xo
Hmmm... some of this seems a bit familiar...
I don't get why industry outsiders (aka us) would care about an industry event like this. You don't seem me showing up for the waiter awards.
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