Talk to the Goat
Hey, if some woman wants to leave her armpit hair, I say that's cool. Personally, I think armpit hair looks gross and that everyone (men included) should get rid of it.
If you want to steal one of Oprah's clip-on earrings, I want the other one. I don't have my ears pierced either. I had them done when I was younger, but it turns out I was allergic to the metal they used (gold) and I took out the earrings cuz they hurt too much and haven't missed them since.
I also loved SBTB. I remember wanting Kelly's super cool 80s bangs (thank god I never had 'em). And Full House. You can't forget that. And Ninja Turtles! My favourite show ever. Mikey!!!!! When I put my TMNT sheets on my bed, I'll have to remember to take a picture of them.
dear lord, those hairy armpits are gross.
one word about saved my the bell: SHOWGIRLS
worse.movie.ever. yet I always watch it if it's on, and make someone watch it with me so we can laugh and laugh and laugh...aaaah, good times.
Girl, I thought I was the only one afflicted. I, too, suffer from SBTB'itis. It is my guilty pleasure too. Sigh. To be cool like Kelly, Zack and Lisa Turtle. Now come on, did you know anyone whose last name was TURTLE? And her mom was DR. TURTLE? Yeah right.
But, it makes me happy. I tell others to suck it and deal.
And Oprah? Butch up baby, it's just an ear-piercing.
Here's the deal with Oprah. She makes everyone cry so its about time she shed some of her own friggin tears. Apparantly she made Ashton Kutcher cry. Sure she's banging uglies with Demi Moore and I'm writing a comment in someone's blog. ITS NOT FAIR. Oh yeah back to the crying. Letterman says that she uses poison gas and there might have been some lingering in the studio.
Saved by the Bell? All I can say is SHOWGIRLS !!!
Vanilla is for the birds. I say give me my chocolate and keep it coming. Have you seen the new pure chocolate drink from Starbuck's? It's like a cup of calories--something on the order of 1200 to the cup.
I loved Zach Morris in NYPD Blue! I am too old to have appreciated Saved By The Bell which is probably why I liked him.
Penelope Cruz's armpit hair is just not right! I was going to suggest donating the money to Drew Barrymore so that she can have a good wash in a train station showering facility but Pene's pits have to come first!
there are so many things to see on here, i feel like a three-year-old in the candy store. but to sum it all up, let me just say a big UGH to oprah and the armpit hair. really, tasteless has gone beyond tasteless these days.
That`s a very funny post. well done : )
yep..i was also a fan of SBTB and 90210...oh mate...brendon and dylan (OMG, i actually remember their names) the ultimate hotties of the nineties..lol...
but i also have to admit that Zack has turned out to be kinda hot though, in NYPD, he certainly doesnt look like a geek anymore...guess i embarassed myself enough now...
a few things...
blonde oreos? that is like white chocolate, an abomination of snack kind. the only thing worse that is out there that i am aware of is this low carb chocolate crap. i hope the people who make this all go to hell and burn...
if you were to call up the 1-800 number on the bag of oreos and tell them this is a stupid idea, they will listen and possibly send you a coupon for a free bag of oreos....
i assume oprah thought it might be good telivision. that is the only reason i can think of her acting that way. if you had a bazillion dollors, you would do whatever you wanted, and i assume she is...
jell-o kicks much ass and is highly underated. there is *always* room for jell-o. i don't like it when people put stuff in it, like rhubarb. that is just clownshit....
i never watched saved by the bell, but my all time favorite was parker lewis can't lose, and god damn the people who won't release that shit on dvd.
oh, and regarding the last post...not to be picky, but your tattoo is not the symbol for chaos. it might be *a* symbol, but not *the* symbol, as far as i know (i could be wrong, but i don't think so). my tattoo is. and it looks nothing like that. just so you know.
Oh my darling Jay, I started my morning by reading this and it was just so delightful. Thanks for making me laugh!
I agree with you about the jello and the hairy celebrities (sounds like a punk rock band: "Jello and the Hairy Celebs"). Anyway ... you're still too cool for school, despite SBTB (which we all secretly love anyway).
Cheers!
Retarius: it's the Greek symbol for chaos. Definitively.
Great minds dear heart, great minds...
just think, after my posting last week on Hairy armpits everyone will be doing it, god knows I have let mine go...
now if they will just move toward derds and dirty feet the world will fill with hippy chics...
anyway and man can dream can he not?
JQP esq.
To be honest, I don't know where I want my money to go. I certainly do not agree with the hairies, but what do to about Australia? Maybe in exchange for free armpit shavings we could sent the celebs overseas for some red carpet churchification. Man, I hope Joan Rivers hosts, I love that gal.
SBTB... 90210... I recall you also mentioning that you had "I love Joey Mcyintire!!" (sp??) from NKOTB scribbled in your diary, no?
Jay (my Canadian friend),
how about putting that money towards hairy, godless, Australian celebrities...
You could start with Russell Crowe (even though he's a Kiwi), then there's Steve Irwin, Rolf Harris... the list goes on.
Amazing. I hadn't made the SBTB and Showgirls connection before. And realising that now... spooked, very spooked!
Looking at the SBTB picture (character names did not embed in ye olde long term memory), the adult male has a slightly creepy aura about him.
Armpit hair: acceptable in moderation, depending on the armpit owner.
Doth protest your anger against the Golden Oreo. I, for one, have a cupboard full of the blonde delights, and must say, make a beautiful exchange for the now defunct Girl Guide vanilla cookie that i miss so dearly.
then again, I am lacking many things in my life...
saucy monk sums it up well, a perfect substitiute for gg cookies. Thanks for swinging by my site!
OH HOLY HELL! The money NEEDS to go to the other celebs...AKKK! I was eating LUNCH! UGH! And they get laid??? UGH!
Oh my god, that's some good writing. You had me laughing so hard at the Oprah thing. I can't BELIEVE she did that. Well, I can, but that's beside the point.
At a recent family function (that I blogged about this past weekend) my sister-in-law's boyfriend randomly brought up that he can't stand armpit hair and caused a huge debate amongst the family/guests that were gathered around. I guess it's a bigger issue than I ever imagined.
I got all excited at the title. Hoping for a coupon possible for said act. However, I was left only with a hilarious entry that brigtened my day.
Shame on you!
Armpit hair!!! ICK!!!The money needs to go to lasering these stars armpits! So we never gain have to see those monstrosities!*dry heave*
Funny post Jay! 
I don't know about these "blonde Oreos" you mention but have you TRIED Nutter Butter cookies?? They are vanilla cookies with peanut butter in the middle, which somehow works. Like, really well.
Very hilarious post! I love grab bags. both in the physical sense and in the bloggy sense. That "following Oprah around" thing cracked me up.
Blonde Oreos- stupid! Everyone knows that oreso are chocolate on the outside and vanilla on the inside. But...I MUST defend my vanilla. I love vanilla shakes, ice cream, cake, lotion, you get the point. It seems boring- but a good French man, oops, I mean French vanilla is the best.
I loved this post! Grab bags are good for everyone.
P.S. I really don't care for French men or hairy armpits-YUCK!!
I can not stop laughing the whole time. And I read it late last night too... I bet I kept up my housemates. Note to self, never read Jay's posts past 11:00PM. What a great way to end the post, armpit hair sticking out of beautiful people! You are a genius.
Supine - we may not have those cookies in Canada, but if we do, I wouldn't have noticed anyway. I actually don't really like cookies, but about once a year I get a craving for oreos dunked in milk. Otherwise, I bake my own - chocolate chunk and sugar cookies for Christmas. And molasses when I miss my Grandma.
in.re. 90210 - i almost cried when dylan and brenda broke up in his porsche on the beach ("losing my religion" in the background, of course). it bothered me for weeks thereafter.
also the one where dylan got beat up by whomever he owed money to. and when his dad dun got blowed up.
My mind is stuck on the first part of this post...cookies!
Oprah looks incredible...bet she misses eating lots of cookies!!
You're right Xavier, I bet she does.
I hear ya! The whole time I was screaming at the TV: "Relax, Oprah... this is nothing... It can't hurt nearly as much as the freakin' multiple plastic surgeries you've already had on your face." Suck it up, babe.
I wonder if she's gonna be so dramatic when she has her hoo-hoo pierced on a future episode.
wow you get a lot of comments. ^^
I wasnt involeved in saved by the bell, just a bit too old for it , I AM a big BRADY BUNCH FAN I do love them and their nerdyness!!!
I've discovered that all men I talk to HATE Oprah, they hate Martha Stewart, Oprah, they hated Rosie O'Donnell at her peak, Roseanne Bar at her peak, if they are not gorgeous Bimbets and super pretty, I think Guys(most), hate them if they are rich and powerful................
I dont like hairy armpits either, I remember 6th grade sex education and they showed some bad film from the 70's and there was a girl who picked up the phone in the movie and she had a white button down shirt on and when she lifted her arm you saw a dark spot of hair and the whole class went EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!
and whats with vanilla , Everyone I know LOVEs Vanilla Ice cream!!!!! It sooooo, well its just so ...VANILLA!!!!
Oh *duuuuude*. You used the word "wuss." That's *so* boy. (I literally think you are the first woman I know to have ever used it...)
Oh, and have you ever made the pretzel/jello dessert? It's to die for...
Is this some kind of hideous new trend? I want to cry. Though if Juliwhore Robertswhore is doing it, it must be stupid. Not that I umm dislike her or anything.
I was a little old for the original airings of SBTB, and caught just a few eps of 90210 (I was more a Melrose fan back then) BUT after having the kidlet and therefore being off of work and up at ungodly hours, I got hooked on Dawson's Creek (which is on twice in a row every morning) followed by two eps of SBTB. I think I've seen all of the episodes of Dawson's Creek THREE times. I'm over my addiction, thankfully. What am I doing watching teeny-bopper shows anyways??
And I love Zack on NYPD Blue! He's still a hottie!
EWwwwwwwwww. Jay, i've not had breakfast yet. I'm not into pit hair nor hair on legs, except on men or animals! Sorry, no time to read rest of article other than Oprah's headlights (the diamond ones.) Going over to your cooking blog to regain my appetite.
i had my ears pierced when i was 11. i was afraid id chicken out after the first one so i made the girl do both at once. apparently thats not a good way to do it. dammit, i didn't cry but i suddenly felt very hot and queasy and had to sit down... so im a wuss too. but at least i didn't hire a plastic surgeon.
i still have a pair of holey (no, not holy... not quite) 90210 socks! jason priestly never did it for me, but i loveloveloved luke perry. yeah tv has gone to hell these days...
My sister had it done around that age, both ears at once. She howled and sobbed for hours, while traipsing through the mall. Quite embarrassing for the rest of us.
Ok, I don't watch Oprah, (SJ told me that's a crime since I'm a SAHM) but the whole ear piercing thing? My daughter's were done at 6 months with little fuss. Mine? I used to take them out, and need the redone, which my Aunt did with a needle and ice. Now if Oprah wants a scene, she should have witnessed my tongue piercing... I kicked the piercer. I know Oprah could have gotten herself some Valium or something, it's not that big a deal! Next up... hairy armpits. It's acceptable on men, though not exactly appetizing. Women? No. Ever. Not even if you forgot. I carry a razor in my purse all summer, just in case, because I would rather go use the restroom to groom than embarass myself like thet. Don't celebs pay people to remind them of these things? "Drew, you have a big show, here's you Versace dress, go shave your pits first." If not, I'll gladly accept that job, it'd be my contribution to society.
Enough with the 'Showgirls' hating. That movie happened to be my favorite comedy of 1995. Zany AND hillarious.
By the way -- favorite Saved by the Bell episode was when Jesse got all amped on speed and started rehearsing for something.
"Iiiii'mmmm soo exxxciiiited and Iiii just can't hiiiide it." and then collapses.
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