Talk to the Goat
Vive la difference!
Probably a good thing that Jason doesn't look at Adam Sandler and think "Mmm, I want to have his babies".
Oh so true! And yet we women still love them!
Adam Sandler?... Hmmmm.....
100% spot on with the curtain thingy.
ha ha! Very insightful.
One of the first lessons we got in the army was 'how to iron.' To this day I put a better crease in pants than anyone I know -- man or woman. How's that for bucking the stereotype?
My husband is metrosexual. He notices if I mis-match his socks. It;s like, "where are all my f**king socks?! These are the wrong pairs! ANd if you can pair them up like the way my mother does it....", then I interrupt and say, no damn way! I am going to roll them up like I always do!
Also, he likes cocktail drinks...Maybe my husband's gay!
I guarantee you that your creases couldn't hold a candle to my Nanny's. She is a laundry room goddess. She even has a laundry chute in her kitchen, and I'm sure you can understand what fun we thought it was as kids.
You're spot on with this post! Very funny, thanks for the good laugh to start my day!
I think that I'm still learning how to be a proper girl based on how foreign some of the girl-attributes were to me. I think that I need to go re-watch To Wong Foo so I can understand the significance of curtains (besides minimizing the neighbors getting off on you, after your shower.)
Except I am closer to the male spectrum... Scarrry close. The only reason I KNOW my house has curtains is because my mom made a big production of them, and made them herself!
Otherwise, Adam is funny, clothes all go in the same load, I have a collection of tools I rarely use, I drink beer when I am out, usually, and frufru drinks at home, never iron...
But at least I do have hundreds of toiletries AND socks!
I LOVE the mirror cartoon... how perfect!
LOL... How do you come up with this stuff?
Yeah that mirror cartoon is perfect! I'm gonna be showing it to a lot of people.
You have obviously been rooting around in my sock drawer.
How freakishly true it is. Really.
Toe socks always throw me off... they're WEIRD!
You feel like more of a man when you own a hammer.
I like to reffer to Kevin Bacon as Kevin "Naked" Bacon, because he always seems to appear buck in movies, wang everywhere.
I feel girls are too wound up about almost everything. Bainesette often says stuff to the effect of "I can't wear that, I wore it last time I went there"...nobody would notice, a guy wouldn't anyway, except maybe Mrs. Mogul's gay husband.
My son wears 1 kind of jeans, 1 kind of T-shirt and 1 kind of socks. But he DOES do his own laundry...
Cannot count the number of stupid pirate games I've played with small plastic swords. Thank God for club sandwiches, which mean I get access to the swords without also getting emasculated.
So sadly very true. My dh doesn't know we have a laundry room either.
Although as our garage is the PIG STY FROM HELL, he can't make it a man room. scratch that, he's too fucking lazy to.
hehe very enlightening.. hehe keep on writing excellent crap like this jamie and i HAVE to come and read ya every day..
Speaking of swords...
Dave, you remember that time? Aw yeah. Good times.
Jamie, I read your blog, and I have come to the inalterable conclusion that I am not a man.
I am a girl. By your definitions.
I have a sock fetish. I do the laundry 1/2 the time (separate loads and such). I don't know about wanting Adam Sandler's Children, but I know that i would have no problems drinking girlie drinks, as they are more efficient in the matters of getting drunk.
Damn.
But no pressure, right?
Dave, you are a man of high intellect and great resources...just don't get the sandwich from Hard Rock, those come with flags 
Not to worry, Mrs Mogul, we all blur the lines this way and that, but I'm pretty sure that only gay sex makes a man gay, and even then, some people doth protest.
Even though I married a man who brings new meaning to the word...anal neat freak...the man has never heard of sorting laundry. He shrinks my sweaters...then pretends not to notice they are now fit for only Barbie to wear.
I just went curtain shopping...when I got home all hubby wanted to know was...how much?...they could have been slime green with pictures of ass on them & he wouldn’t have cared.
How much!! That's priceless. How could I forget? It's the standard man question, especially when we're talking shoes.
All these differences, just because I can pee standing up and you can't. WOW
I can't do toe socks though. Am not comfortable if something is in between my toes. That goes for thong sandals too.
If someone hadn't invented the girly drink, I don't know what I'd do! I think the best part is that you can have so many and not even realize you're drinking alcohol until the world starts spinning around you.
Hahahah, spot on.
Shampoo is better! I go on first and clean the hair! Conditioner is better! I make the hair silky and smooth! Stop looking at me swan!
Is it bad that I think both of those things when I see Adam Sandler? That's my favorite Adam Sandler line ever, and I say it all the time. My three-year-old says it. My three-year-old that I wanted to name Adam, but my husband said no because he knew why...
No worries, Beth. I am the world's most fervent, adoring Adam fan. My husband has to leave me alone in the room sometimes.
K: as a matter of fact, I can so pee standing up. What else ya got?
I think I'm a man. I buy the cheap shaving creme, I drink beer out of a bottle, I hate Richard Gere, and I don't park in the garage. I suck for the females. that's it, a drink with an umbrella tonight!
I cant help it my balls itch
snagley
As always, a hilarious read! How do you find these things to write about? Always enjoy your craft with words.
Hilarious post!
I kept alternating through the post "Yeah! Guys should be more like girls!" Then a minute later "Yeah! Girls should be more like guys!"
I am thankful for the "Metrosexual" trend. The more we live by our own preferences and not by gender roles the better things will be. More confusing maybe, but better.
LMAO Jay. Thanks for todays insight into thew simple pleasures of being a man.
You missed one thing about Garages though.
Men: If it requires batteries Its kept in the garage buried with all the other junk
Women: If it requires batteries its kept in the top drawer of the bedroom cabinet nestled lovingly into the folds of a meticulous sock collection
I have a toiletries thing, but so far, no one has figured it out because I keep them in 6 separate places---a drawer here, a basket there, a full bag stashed under the bed. It keeps things from getting evil and avoids the ever-intimidating question "how much did it cost?". People who think nothing of paying $50 for a screwdriver with different heads in the handle seem to think it's indecent to spend $23 for coconut lime body scrub.
Yowsers. My beloved and I are somehow kind of the same plane as each other. Neither of us wear frilly socks, we both like a good cocktail, (both in and out of home), and both spend money on toiletries, and both fill the garage with crap that we don't use. He does laundry and I cook, he even knows to hang everything inside out so it doesn't fade! Love the mirror cartoon, so very accurate.
Hey, hey! There are men in the world who do laundry! I know there's at least... well, one of them.
I like the part about women owning socks. My mother owns so many shoes I had to build a 12-ft long shoe rack with three shelves to hold them all. A while ago she had to throw out a few pairs and they still wouldn't all fit on the rack.
-Steve
Games are for Children
umm... i like toe socks. and i like adam sandler... both ways. that's all. ^^
Keefer, how true and funny that is.
Lorna, you bet. $50 body butter? Mmmm, divine.
Steve, shoes are sacred.
hahaha! this is so true. only thing is that my beau and i both love shoes. he actually LIKES shopping for his own shoes. and he chooses pretty well, too.
) very funny. and true!
Laundry was totally my favorite. Happens here in Philly too!
pink shaving cream rocks. pink razors too. but i could never got over the fact that they are 3 times more expensive than the men stuff. so i just buy the men stuff. am i weird or am i just a cheap bugger?
i use an electric razor.
never go in my garage but don't let my wife park her car in ther, either.
wear the same work slacks every day but have to wear a fresh, new cut-off shirt for each time i play basketball.
what does that make me?
androgynous?
e+
Also, as taught to me by Kindergarten Cop, Men have penises while Women have a vagina. As to how all women share the one is a mystery of modern science.
I want a garage like that - all I got room for in mine is 2 BMX, 3 MTBs, tools, a loada car spares and room for a motorbike. If only I could get a car and a fridge in there... and crates and a TV and a BIG sign saying "NO CURTAIN TALK"...
hmmmmm...yeah, i guess on some of them...
Julie Andrews IS a dirty whore...she's here with me right now!
I love to play with the swords from the drinks, UNGUARD!!!
dressing and undressing in movies is silly, women dont point their toes out to put stockkings on or off, they put one foot in and jump up and down and hobble all over the room like an idiot, maybe even lose their balance and fall.....
and I love my Christmas Bumble socks and my toes socks
and My 99cent store penis socks!
....laundry.....room?
Is that near the room with the food in it, or closer to the room with that toilet in it?
And for the record, I would like to point out my grey socks today. Matching and with only one hole in them.
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