Talk to the Goat
Excellent post Jay!
You are such a talented writer, and very entertaining to boot!
3T
Jason pays attention to how your bra works?
A guy paying attention to the intricate details of womens' underwear?
*mind explodes*
Just be ready to duck. 
Lois Lane
LMAO your love life is a like a romantic comedy. :D
That is definitely a suspicious day... but I am intrigued by the dental voyeurism.
I think the only thing my boyfriend notices about my bra is how the clasp works.
I love that bit about the dentist's office. I hate to imagine myself with one eye lolling in its socket while high on laughing gas for the whole world to see. And the drooling. Its just obscene!
Jay, I thought you got sunburned? I've been praying that you wear a hat, now I find you're exposing an even more revealing décolletage. More power to you if you don't burn, but some poetic licence should be revoked.
Haloscan, why are you eating my comments? It's very rude.
BBQ sauce is a man thing, plan and simple. It goes back to whem primative man danced around the fire in their loin clothes, cooking raw meat. They needed BBQ sauce back then and we still do now. That's why men BBQ, its the Ogg Factor.
The only problem I have is reading or saying the word "boob" withought smiling.
Oh great, it loses my long response to Lorna, and publishes that!
Anyhoo,
Lorna, your memory serves correct: I am in fact a burner.
However, it just so happens that in May I got an overly bad burn, complete with blisters and peeling, and general pain. It emanated heat for a whole week! But then the red turned to pink, and the pink turned to brown, and I found myself with a "base."
Every day I am armed to the teeth with SPF 45, year round. Minute amounts of sun still get through, and they have been accumulating on this base tan. For the first time in my life, I find myself browning!
Every single person I know has commented on it. My grandmother, who usually calls me albino, called me "black" (forgive her). I am normally a very translucent shade of peach, so this is very funny to me.
So yes, I burn. Painfully. But since the big burn in May, I've been well (with the exception of the pink I incurred when exposing new parts of my breasts to the sun).
Jay,
The signs are clear. In order to avert disaster you must:
1)return to the workmans hole
2)draw chalk pics around it
3)plait the hair in the knee dimple and thread with beads and a feather
4)Remove linen top to reveal pink bra and granny pleasing cleavage.
5) Get in hole and dance a mystic jig
6) retire and eat chicken dripping in BBq sauce.
Trust me, if you follow this simple plan the next day things will be back to normal......well either that or you will be removed to somewhere secure......
Even worse! You put BBQ sauce on ribs!
Eve was made out of Adam's rib, or so the story goes. Am I the only one making the connection here?!?!?
Sexist bastard!
Doom has been avoided.. all of these strange occurances were leading up to a fully charged karma wheel, which, when you left your comment on my site... discharged and allowed me to rescue my dead hard drive!
All further thoughts of Doom are to be avoided.
Great post!
I'd like to buy you a vodka martini if your travels ever take you to Philadelphia. I owe it to you for the entertainment you've provided me here.
Jay,
I seem to have found this large leather tome in a recently discovered secret nook in my house. It's locked with an odd looking device, and the cover is an embossed skull!
I'm going to have an opening party. I think it would be cool to set the mood with candles and glasses of blood.
You in?
only a guy would notice something technical in the workings of lingerie.
hi jay,
first off, grandma noticing your cleavage is nothing short of gross. what constitutes 'nice' cleavage & what constitutes ugly cleavage? will you ask her for me please.
does the sinkhole get hairy?
i realize i'm naive & ignorant by writing this, but....i had no idea they had homeboys OR sold wifebeaters in canada! now i have NOWHERE to runaway to. dammit dammit dammit!
jane
I agree with your grandmother.
Nice cleavage.
Jamie, make more posts about your bras!
the homeboys in canada, especially in cornwall, are there simply to be laughed at. if they were ever to come across the homeboys of, say, compten [or however you spell that place outside l.a.], the cornwallians would be lynched.
as for the wife beaters... jamie, remember when they were banned from our hig school? ahhh so country!
it's nice that your gran commented on a nice cleavage. if ever it multiplies into multiple cleavages, get it checked out by a professional.
and personally, seeing the unicorns in the ghetto is just nice. plain and simple.
Hi Jay! I've been to Cornwall, those guys can drink! I drew a chalk outline of a teletubby on a side street once. Someone came by told me to get some help.
So I got my brother to help and we drew 2 more.
Mmm, BBQ, mmmm, cleavage.
Hurrah for your grandmother!
Wow... Canadian men gets BBQ sauce for Father's Day? Do NOT let malaysian men know about this. We still give them ties. Lol.
--> I think the only thing my boyfriend notices about my bra is how the clasp works
(huh.. where did the rest of the comment go?)
i agree with jess on that. i need to get meself one of them Jasons. Hehe. It'll be another 10 yrs til we malaysian women get one of those! lol.
Run, run while you still can! No, leave me here, I'll only slow you down. T... tell them I loved them.
Does that work?
I'll bet existence as we know it is like that dentist's office. All these people walking past a huge two way mirror, looking through and seeing us as we try to figure out what the hell it's all about, but they know, oh they know.
That's why they keep walking. There's nothing they can do for us, and it's ever so sad to see us struggle.
Jay. How you manage to stay sane in such a crazy world is beyond me. All those events, I mean come on! Grandma noticing your cleavage? Where can I get a bra like that? Also, I'm so happy to hear that there isn't any murder in Canada.
LMAO...thass one of the most amazing things i've ever read...adn in a weird way, it makes sense!!!
Love your blog. =o)
Great post. I almost feel like I was walking with you today! And when I walk around tonight I'll see if there's impending doom on this side of the Pond as well.
Jay,
As a parent of two under the age of two, I believe that father's are also entitled to 8 weeks vacation.
et tu?
You are a laugh and we all get ugly - well I do at least.
Did you happen to go to the victoria secret semi-annual sale? Lots of great stuff! Another thing about the BBQ...it lasts longer! It doesn't die in two days, and HELLO you can eat it! And we have a "day" for everything and everyone...my personal non-favorite is Sweetest day in October...so stupid
Ohhhh, do you think it can wait till Monday because I have a BIG weekend planned!
Is there anything worse than a grandparent commenting on some sexy body part? My grandfather told me that long legs like minewere called "cheesecake" back in his day. Somehow that just came out sounding quite skeevy from him!
Ahh how I miss the days of chalking on the sidewalks...we don't have sidewalks here much...
heh. you're so adorable. that is an epic worth reading a few more times. it really showcases several of the paradigms with which you operate from in that creative brain of yours. hilarious.
you even slipped '24 hours of oozing labour' in there. and I laughed. ha. can I get an 'ewwwww'?
Are you sure you're Canadian? The description of the road workers in particular sounds very familiar - though the boys here drink tea from flasks I hear... Mmmm maybe the whole staring into a hole thing is actually a global phenomenon!
Now the secret is to mix bbq sauce an cleavage,,, then you realy got some thing.
I had my wisdom teeth out two weeks ago in a tiny cramped Manhattan dentist's office. Right opposite the window was a high rise apartment building with balconies. If they were so inclined, the residents of these apartments could have had a ringside view of my extraction. I'm glad to see mine isn't the only dentist providing a spectator sport :o)
Maybe those men/boys were trying to get you to join their shirtless club so that they too could asses the new up-and-outness of your boobs? Just a thought...
all should get cash on every holiday so as not to offend.
bbq sauce is not a good gift, for anything.
were you wearing the bra when grandma commented on the cleavage?
You've helped me decide on my new career...Supervisor at a construction site!!!
Funny how men don't notice new clothes or a new hairstyle, but they are all over an extra inch of boob...
marijuana makes me say
for amused enlightenment
turn to jay
An inch of boob is worth a mile of hairstyle.
Or for the non-Americans (I just learnt about such people – they do exist): a centimeter of boob is worth a kilometer of hairstyle. The Canadian way doesn’t sound quite so euphonious. Sorry.
the cleavage thing reminds me of Sixteen Candles when Molly Ringwald's grandmother says, "Fred look, she got her boobies...and they're perky" and then touches them. Did your grandma touch them?
I am sorry but bras are the source of all EVIL.
Besides that its amazing what some bras can do for our figure..LOL
In regards to the quote from Granny...she may be correct; cleavage is a singular word, not plural. So why do we always treat it like a whole bunch of stuff?
I would like to know how your granny approached the subject of your cleavage. Did she just yell out, "Nice Rack!" or did her comment derive from some conversation you were having with her?
Just wondering.
Comments about cleavage should absolutely NOT come from grandmothers!
Have I told you lately that I love your blog? I do. It is too complicated to explain and I am lazy, so I shall just reiterate that "I love your blog."
So says Eva.
There were SO many delicious Jamie-style nuggets in that post; I wouldn't even know where to start complementing you if I went point by point. Let's just suffice to say that you kick ass.
My Grandma called me "man-pretty".
Is your grandmother right? Anyway, my grandma tells dirty jokes, and that makes me a little uncomfortable.
Strange days, indeed!
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