Talk to the Goat
Couldn't agree more with #8. Why do Simpsons fans think that using Simpsons quotes is the most clever way to make conversation? Lucky if you can get a half an hour without one. They use one for every situation, and then when you don't get it, they have to explain in minute detail. In my head, because I'm non confrontational, I say to them Fuck off. I don't wanna know. I hate you.
Of course, it's usually written on my face, so I might as well say it.
Oh. You hate me. Oh well. It was nice while it lasted, eh.
Well......
i still like you.
Heh...that practically sounds interesting.
But....I like velour. It's cozy and warm in the winter. And....I never miss a CSI. (That's more my hubbys fault though) OK, I can't think thru amymore of them, it hurts my brain right now.
3T
Why is it that men feel the need to hock something really nasty and spit it out in public? I just don't get it, and it's grosser than I could possibly describe.
I am way grouchier than you!
I? Am so upset. Because Jay hates me. I routinely wear velour track suits on my Rubenesque frame (one leg rolled up of course as homage to LL Cool J) with socks and sandals. The socks however, are nearly always torn slap up by my gnarly long French manicured toenails. Hot no?
There are all kinds of people who don't deserve feet. The cartoon replica was even enough to make this reader vomitous.
There are, sadly, some cell phones that don't even have the option of a normal ring. Argh!!! Girls just wanna hear "brrrrrrrring! rrrrrrrriiiing!"
And well said on the Dr. Phil. Completely. Useless.
i'm not guilty on all counts apart from 30 - a penchant for white russians - as in the drink of 3 shots of voddy/2 baileys or kaluha and milk if there is room.
It can't be bad - the dude in Big Lebeowski drinks em all the time!
once again, my velour track suit comes back to haunt me.
Guilty as charged on the ring tone. But despite this, I am quite sure that we are destined to be soul mates!
I think I may cry. You probably hate me. Sigh.
Ah well, watching Dr. Phil (while drinking copious amounts of Jack Daniels, no less) was quite amusing.
damn. you hate me on a couple of scores. my phone plays "my girl" and i upgraded just for that purpose...i used to want a pt cruiser...i love steak and eggs...i love nypd blue and law and order not counting criminal intent which stinks. there may be more. damn.
Jay, you and I have such a love-hate relationship, but seriously, my kids are great, and my grandchildren---don't even get me started.
Oh I hate all these people too except for the CSI thinkg I love that show ok I live the guy who plays Nick Stokes, yummy. I really hate people who don't drink, I thinki it's terribly un natural. And who the hell thinks Canadians grow crops? I know they make strong beer and great hockey players. Long Live Canada.
You probably hate me too. I like Dr. Phil, I don't drink (anymore),I like forensics shows, and I occasionally order salads at McD's. I hate the place but my kids and husband love it. What's a girl to do?
My My My…
Our first fight, how cute….
Lets see,
3.
How can you not eat a pound of bacon for breakfast?
16.
I like getting pointers for my life of crime.
20.
I don’t swallow and I think there are women out there who think dipping snuff is sexy.
27.
Big Hunting Socks the one with the orange band at the top, with my green cargo “trousers”…
But as for you… Steinbeck?
Is it to soon to ask about make-up sex?
JQP esq.
oh and FREEDOM FOR ALBERTA!
Sorry, my Bolshevik is showing…
so sad, you definitely hate my guts....
1. my pets ARE my kids. I don't like the real kind.
3. why WOULDN'T I eat bacon?
4. King isn't my fav, but he's not bad!
16. Law and Order ROCKS! That's why it's been on for a gazillion years!
22. I don't drive a PT Cruiser, but I think the black ones are AWESOME. As close as you can get to the old cars of the 30s/40s without actually getting one!
24. Ack! I only get 1/2 hour for lunch - a lot of times I DO get salads at McDonald's!
But then? With the rest of them I totally agree so...eh. 
PHEW! I passed the test, though I might fail when I start watching Criminal Minds this season on television (they are FBI prifilers I think). Please forgive me for not being able to resist the hotness of Shemar Moore!
Ah Jamie,
I guess you would hate a lot of things that I do.
But then, I'm sure i'd hate a lot of things that you do, too.
Isn't that what friendships are made of? Mutually recognized items of dislike?
Yes, that wasn't even proper english.
I thought I'd make my point part of my comment.
word.
Jorge
Hey... one outta thirty ain't bad. Fumbling cop drama can be good comedy. Dr. Phil doesn't count because I was forced to watch it while my nails were being pulled out by the roots.
DB
Oh my God, you're my hero. Best. List. Ever. You'd probably hate me, via your list, but I'd have to hate myself too because I agree with it all.
I made it through that whole list. We could indeed be friends!
Do you like drinking in the morning? Like, before work? It sure helps.
I think I just passed your test! Wahoo! Except that I write about my kids too much. Can I still be your friend? I promise I will never wear a fanny pack ever!
Uh oh. Does Law & Order count? Someone rammed their shoping cart into my heel last Sunday, the bastard. I admit that I have bacon for breakfast from time to time. Sorry. I'm so with you on Stephen King. He sucks.
I tried desperately to add something to your list, but pretty much I hate all those things too. So we can be best friends forever now!
I'm screwed on #1 but I've read all but 2 authors on #4 ... do they cancel out?
i don';t know if it was meant to, but this made me laugh. don't worry, i've laid off the orders now...
THANK YOU for #1. I'm so totally buying Seasons 1-5 of CSI and sending them to you for Christmas. The card will have detailed stories of my kids with extra exclamation points penciled in.
Kisses!!!
Ketchup on grilled cheese? What is that? poor man's pizza? Blech!!
This might inspire me to create a list of my own! I'll link back if I do!
I didn't know Canadians grew crops??? But this reminds me of something I hate hearing, when someone says that all Texans ride horses. When I think about it, the last time I heard that I was in Canada. Funny
you love me!!!!
well, except for the kalhua and cream at christmas, but the rest of the year, you love me!!!!
It's a damn good thing you're funny, woman.
I am guilty of: #1, #4, #19, #21
Now you hate me : p
... but I adore you!
Wait, can I hate *you* for reading and recommending Ayn Rand books? We are generally in agreement, except about Rand.
That and I hate people who use "u" in favorite.
well, i knew it was to good to be true. Thank god i've got Midol and M&Ms to help me deal with the pain. I simply can not help myself when it comes to Simpsons codes, my phone plays a pseudo reggea beat so i can pretend that for 5 seconds i am actually lying on the beach somewhere, I have been known to occasionally eat turkey sausage for breakfast, I watch shows like CSI and my latest string of collages have been of fruit. There it is, the terrible truth all laid out. I understand if you revoke my link in the side bar
We were golden until #17. I am a slut for the detective shows - especially the reality ones. It's shameful, I know. We can't all be perfect like you though, Jamie. Or, at least I can't.
ouch.
i read john grisham, but keep away from stephen king.
i don`t drink.
i love to watch forensic/medical drama.
huhm..
Oh man, I think I basically said #1 and #8 on some post in the past. But #7 is truely the most henious.
Something to add to that, make it #7b: pretending you don't drink to get drunk. Good lord, I see red when I hear this. Everyone who has ever said it is full of bullshit.
i hate people who hate people, so i guess i hate you and i hate myself.
if you ever have kids, you'll understand why people talk about them.
e+
Great list.
Stephen King & John Grisham are ok if you only read one of their books. After that it just gets so repetitive and boring.
#5 is god damn annoying. I absolutely hate ppl have ridiculously loud ringtones. Come on, put it on vibration!!!
#3 There's nothing wrong eating bacon for breakfast from time to time. :p
#12 is just nasty.
#15 god there are so many kids nowadays that think they're black, dress black, and talk black. It's so annoying!
#18 That hurts!!!
#21 Ewwwww that's gross. Never seen anyone done that.
Milk is a mixer? Someone obviously doesn't drink.
Azteks blow. Nuff said. =)
Ketchup on grilled cheese...ewwww. Everyone knows you are supposed to put dill pickle slices in your grilled cheese.
Oh, and the ugliest car ever is the Scion. It's just a box on wheels.
I'm proud to admit I freely take part in about 70-80% of those items.
Yeah, you definitely must hate me. I do at least 10 of those on a regular basis!
I had a cat Quigley which i called my son, he's dead now...but he was still my son
Man! i see crazy like a fox hates the scion, I want a white one so I can put fridge magnets on it i love that box!!!
okay, i'm with you on number 5, but i'm afraid i eat meat for breakfast. growing up a farmer's son kind of made it compulsory as is the inability to think for myself.
sorry, veggies.
Three out of 30... I only struck on 3 out of 30...
Can you forgive me?
Dee
Do you think people who have their phones clicked onto their ears are better or worse than the people with phones on their belt?
Well, I like Dr Phil and CSI, but I'm definitley more of a Double Quarter Pounder gal than salad.
Oh well, I tried.
Funny stuff Jay! I'm guilty as charged for watching CSI and Dr. Phil and not drinking. I promise to improve! LOL
i don't know if someone's answered this already but the reason that men have nipples is because they've already grown before our sex is decided.
...and they're there as an added weapon/punishment in terms of a shark tweak should the male get out of line.
i sometimes have a fry-up for breakfast, and sometimes have bacon with it. but then it's usually at about 1pm so can i call that brunch? or do you hate people that have "brunch"?!
i don't have a "ring-ring" ringtone because i want to answer my phone when i know it's mine that's ringing. i got my nieces (talking about kids!) to sing into the recorder so there's no confusion it's my phone!
Yeah i get the salad at maccy d's... i don't have the coutons or dressing though, surely that helps?!
I believe I'm with you on just about everything else though!
ohhhh.
you definitely hate me.
i sometimes like dr. phil. and i mean.. there's something so intrancing about his shiny cue-ball head.. i can;t help it!
i looooovvee meat for breakfast...
JOHN GRISHAM IS MY ALLTIME FAVOURITE AUTHOR.
when my cellphone goes off it sings 'new orleans is sinking' by tragically hip.
i happen to be a huge simpsons fan. as well as south park.
i just bought a pair of acid washed jeans. very retro!
i go and get my toes french manicured weekly.
i also... and a huge fan of csi. and law and order svu.
anddd.. you will not believe this but i love pt cruisers sooo much! i even have a model blue one in my room. my mom says they look like compact hurses haha.
i dont order salads at mcdonalds but i definitely do at wendy's! mmm chicken blt!
cheerleading is so a sport haha. and im on three cheerleading teams
i own three velour tracksuits.. for my cheerleading practises of course.
and i happen to think milk goes good with everything.
so sad to have learned you hate everything about me. i shall go crawl in a hole and die now... *sniff*
good thing i already decided to kill myself in some new, creative way if i ever did said owned any of those things ... whew ... thank god i'm not a complete tool like all that ...
I'm not even going to go through that list point by point.
We'll just say that you hate me. End of story.
But I still like you, no matter what you hate.
oh i forgot to add that my little toenails are too thick to cut with a nail-cutter so I just let them grow like claws until they fall off.
one of them has got to the longest length it's ever been; it touches the floor now.
yeah it's quite disgusting, i deserve your hatred for it really!
funny!!! I am with you on the toenails! I hate french pedicures...gross!!!
Jeez... I already knew all Canadians don't grow crops... C'mon now.
(But I've heard you folks are just crazy about blue jeans, vibrators, and serviettes.)
Diana thinks this list is very funny.
LMAO I thought I was doing good until I got to #5 and #16.
I have to agree with you on everything else though!
And contrary to popular belief, I am not a #6. There are lots of times I don't talk about my little Superman.
I'm in trouble now.
Let's see. I'm half for number #2. I've never watched Dr. Phil but I love it when he's on Letterman.
Now for #3, Dennis Leary said it best when he said "Not eatting meat is a choice. Eatting meat is INSTINCT"!!!
For #5, I edited my own ring for my cell. It's the corus for In the End by Linkin Park.
#7. I RARELY DRINK. I don't need alcohol to prove that my mind works differently.
#10. We Don't????
#15 I hear the term for that is "Wigger"
#22 Personally I think there's something cool and techy about the Aztek.
#24. IT'S NOT SALAD. It's grass in a bowl. I haven't gone into a McDonalds since seeing Supersize me.
Man nipples were meant to be nibbled.
#3 - one word. BACON
#5 - is it ok if my ringtone is Green Day's Brain Stew?
#9 - that's you, isn't it?!
#20 - hey, we have a right to. Not everyone wants to swallow.
#30 - two words - White Russian
oh...and Hi!
I feel so un-loved now. Boo-hoo...
ROFL...as I wipe the sweat off my brow...I might still be allowed in here to visit, since I'm only guilty of 2 things on this list: I better not say which two b/c that would be pushing my luck. Oh, heck: here goes:
#16- I love certain crime shows even though I figure out the ending within the first two minutes. Occasionally, #3, if the meat is in left-over Chinese food or such and I probably don't drink enough for you, but "O O O O" I fake it well.
I don't hate, I'm only hated.
Think you're the first...
Oh Geez...you must really hate me....
I am guitly of 6 items on your hitlist:
#3 - bacon or ham for breakfast! Mmmmm.
#6. I talk a lot about my kids.
#16. I like House. It's Jorge's fault.
#21. I won't eat a grilled cheese without ketchup. What's the point?
#24. I order salads at McDonald's. Do you know how many damn birthday parties I've been to at MickeyD's??? Geezus...do you think I want to eat 60 grams of fat in one sitting??? NO. Salad please!
#27. I've worn socks with sandals...but only at the cottage when I couldnt find my shoes. Not in public. My Dad does that.
Totally agree with you on #12 the long toenails...that's just nasty. French pedicure..I saw one yesterday..I was like WTF...can you actually wear shoes with nails that long???
Re: #22. I think the Hummer is uglier.
Oh yeah...You already hated me becuase I like Cold Play. Uh oh.... now I'm really in the shitlist.
Cindy blows Sheep.
Ahhhh I so HATE everything you mentioned! In fact I printed an illustrated copy and stapled it on front of my office to prevent anyone I hate from entering!
The sandal sock thing pisses me off like hell too! i also hate ppl with hair on their chest. But my bunny rabbit will always be my baby
that was beyond f*cking hilarious... thanks for the best laugh I've had today!
you rule, dude... xo
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